PLEASE share something bad

[Ms. Spam]

EXACTLY and that's a big chance of happening in some areas of San Antonio. 

[Hobbes]

Gag warning...

Have a 1st grader that has significant behavior problems...probably will be staffed out of the school at a likely manifestation meeting.  His sister (2nd grade) pooped her pants twice at school last week.  Mom--who always reeks of marijuana and alcohol and she said she has been doing that a lot so they just keep their kids in pullups bc she can't afford to do laundry (wtf???) and she thinks it's easier because the cats just eat the poop and they can reuse the pullups.

Mom doesn't want to try medication on the 1st grader who is OUT OF CONTROL--he is suspended for hurting multiple students--but mom has no issues hot boxing for the hour drive to school.

Anyways, at the suspension reentry meeting of mom smells like marijuana/ alcohol--I am calling the police and going to have her pulled over when she leaves the meeting. 

[RUAJedi2]

Wow. Parent of the year right there.

[Destiny Skywalker]

God please get those poor kids out of that house. I feel bad for both of those kids. I know sometimes the behavior issues are not the parent's fault, but in this case there is clear signs of neglect that are most likely contributing factors.

[Cerina]

Jesus. Agreed. Get those parents out of here. A 2nd grader still having accidents of that kind has to be a sign of something else. 

[Zathras]

Yeah those poor kids need to be taken away from Monster Mom. 

[Ms. Spam]

Its a kind of cry for help as it is when you have a Mom like that when stuff happens like acting out. School has become a space to act out because there's no one at home that cares. If she's willing to let you see her high and stuff, you can bet that Mom does even weirder neglect things at home. I'd hate hate hate if they ended up in foster care though because it's often just as crap as the Mom you got at home. Some of our schools in my district are trying to tackle this problem by offering outside support like home visits from counselors who try and get the kids out of the home for a bit and outside laundry facilities at the school. 

[Destiny Skywalker]

9 hours ago, Cerina said:

Jesus. Agreed. Get those parents out of here. A 2nd grader still having accidents of that kind has to be a sign of something else. 

Might also be a sign of constant constipation from withholding. Ask me how I know, sigh. (Although this was pre-K, not 2nd grade, thank God.) But in this case I'm worried that the withholding behavior is something trauma based for that poor girl.

I know a fair few foster parents. They are good people. Are there really that many bad ones?

[Ms. Spam]

OH MAN speaking of gross and kids - My nephew hates to stop playing so he PUSHES the poop back in. He was having lots of problems with being sick and the doctor asked him what he does when he goes to the bathroom and he told the doctor he tries not to because he likes to play so much so he pushes it back in to store to go to the bathroom later. He was basically smashing it all over his ass and kids on the playground were like EW he stinks. It's the dirty underpants and well getting sick from not cleaning his hands on the playground that caused Mom to take her weirdo sun to to the doctor. Now you hear on the playground GO TO THE RESTROOM OR I AM TAKING YOU HOME.

[Ms. Spam]

On 10/6/2023 at 12:41 AM, Destiny Skywalker said:

Might also be a sign of constant constipation from withholding. Ask me how I know, sigh. (Although this was pre-K, not 2nd grade, thank God.) But in this case I'm worried that the withholding behavior is something trauma based for that poor girl.

I know a fair few foster parents. They are good people. Are there really that many bad ones?

San Antonio has a reputation of bad fosters at least in my school district. Its more than likely a few bad apples that just make it so bad for others but we've had kids who died in my school while in foster care. I think for kids it's always hoping that they have other family that will step in. Two of my fellow teachers do an after school anger management class for adults and some parenting classes that help parents in crisis a bit because even though it's deemed "Snowflake" liberal ideas I think we haven't taught previous generations how to manage their anger or expectations of adulthood with kids. I think it's worse in some cases because social media make people think a lot of people are excellent parents when in reality they're the worst or it's pushing them to behave even worse for likes or attention. For instance parents at sporting events acting like asses.

[Destiny Skywalker]

Yeah I think parenting is a lot easier to preach than practice. This morning I was trying not to lose my shit with my kids while they ran all over the house, grabbing shit, not doing what I asked so we could get out of the house to go to a soccer game. I told them I couldn't handle them being so chaotic. They were having a great time and just kept amping themselves up even further. By the time we got in the car I was beyond irritated and snippy.

I think depending on the family, having another family member step in is not the right choice. If you've grown up in a home with generational trauma, the other people are probably making the same mistakes that led to this situation in the first place. I don't have siblings or nephews/nieces, though, so I will probably never be in the situation. But I had to ask our friends if they would take our kids if something happened to us. There's no way I'm letting my in laws screw up my kids. I'm pretty sure my well-meaning but old school dad would mess up my daughter.

We've just had so many horror stories out here about kids who should've been taken away from their parents who have ended up murdered. So I admittedly lean on the side of foster care is safer. We've had a few families who have gotten railroaded by the system but the kids were always safe in foster care, it was just that people didn't deserve to have their kids taken away (it's usually been because of medical reasons where the kid had a weird disease and a doctor mistakes it for abuse).

[Hobbes]

On 10/7/2023 at 6:21 PM, Destiny Skywalker said:

Yeah I think parenting is a lot easier to preach than practice. This morning I was trying not to lose my shit with my kids while they ran all over the house, grabbing shit, not doing what I asked so we could get out of the house to go to a soccer game. I told them I couldn't handle them being so chaotic. They were having a great time and just kept amping themselves up even further. By the time we got in the car I was beyond irritated and snippy.

I think depending on the family, having another family member step in is not the right choice. If you've grown up in a home with generational trauma, the other people are probably making the same mistakes that led to this situation in the first place. I don't have siblings or nephews/nieces, though, so I will probably never be in the situation. But I had to ask our friends if they would take our kids if something happened to us. There's no way I'm letting my in laws screw up my kids. I'm pretty sure my well-meaning but old school dad would mess up my daughter.

We've just had so many horror stories out here about kids who should've been taken away from their parents who have ended up murdered. So I admittedly lean on the side of foster care is safer. We've had a few families who have gotten railroaded by the system but the kids were always safe in foster care, it was just that people didn't deserve to have their kids taken away (it's usually been because of medical reasons where the kid had a weird disease and a doctor mistakes it for abuse).

I think I told about the two kids that came to us last year.  They came to stay at a foster family whose kids all go to our school because mom beat another foster kid (6 years old) so bad he had to be life-flighted to Denver.  Kid is still in the hospital with a brain injury so bad he can barely speak. 

It is scary how common abuse is.  And this is just the stuff I know about. 

 

[RUAJedi2]

Here's something bad: Optum Rx. That's the prescription part of our "insurance", and literally every time we have a prescription filled, they fuck something up. And I do mean EVERY DAMN TIME. It's to the point now where if someone says the word optum, I skip right to head-butsting rage. I hate them so much.

[Destiny Skywalker]

Ugh Optum bought our regional practice and they can't retain doctors anymore.

[RUAJedi2]

I found a deer tick (Ixodes scapularis) attached to me. I picked it up sometime on Thursday. They're the vector for Lyme disease.

[Zathras]

That is bad.  See a doctor?

[Odine]

On 10/21/2023 at 6:48 AM, RUAJedi2 said:

I found a deer tick (Ixodes scapularis) attached to me. I picked it up sometime on Thursday. They're the vector for Lyme disease.

Ticks need to be in for about 36 hours before Lyme's disease is possible. Was the tick inflated or still tiny when you removed it? If it was small still it hadn't started drawing blood yet which means it hadn't been in long and so the chance of Lyme's is very small. Just watch out for the ring rash. 

You should be ok. When I used to work in the forests once I found 7 ticks on my legs (cause of all the deer). I removed them all with no transfer of Lyme's.

[RUAJedi2]

I'm not super worried. More annoyed. If I develop the rash or other symptoms, I'll get a round of antibiotics and all will be well.

[Ms. Spam]

Yikes.

I am always worried when I walk in a local park of this because there are a LOT of deer.

In the bad news department I can't take one more thing. Today I was sipping coffee and heard the crash of a shelf in my laundry room come down. I could only cry. I don't wanna deal with this on Sunday. 

[RUAJedi2]

I have an eye doctor appointment this morning. I would rather get punched in the nuts. I'm freaked out by stuff near my eyes, and I always feel like they're grading my answers with the "Which looks better, A or B, B or C, C or D?" game.

[Hobbes]

1.  A board member organized a land acknowledgement ceremony at the end of the day on Friday (Native Americans are a predominant part of our culture here).  The lady that performed the ceremony was white and it was kind of uncomfortable with our staff especially Native American staff members.  After the ceremony, many of the staff members kind of felt awkward about it and were talking about it after school.  A staff member that helped plan the ceremony started yelling at them that they shouldn't complain and be appreciative and then double downed and emailed the whole staff that they have no right to complain and need to stop because it is petty.  I had to send a staff email saying it's okay to talk about things if they cause discomfort--because that is how we grow and we don't want toxic positivity.  My AP and I met with the staff member this morning and she had an emotional breakdown in my office.  So much so that a teacher near my office thought it was a primary student crying and checked in to see if we needed support. 

2.  Two moms started arguing in the parent pick-up line and almost came to blows if not my assistant principal physically getting between the two.  One of the parents started recording the altercation and started to chase the other car.  Both parents have issues---but still a bad look. 

3.  I just got back from responding to a call to help with a situation that had two girls upset with their male teacher because he told them not to take so long in the bathroom and one of the girls started having an emotional breakdown and started explaining how she was having issues with her tampon in the bathroom.  I made the fastest back-up call ever to my AP.

 

[Ms. Spam]

UGH I would say ninety percent of good teachers leave because of this nonsense. It's like basic kindergarten where you have to teach these adults how to get along with people that they don't normally understand or get along with. It doesn't help that there's some that feed of those emotions. I am always awkward in these moments. I had a kid break down and cry once over a math problem and because he's a male student I was hard pressed not to hug him because of his age (middle school algebra so he was in his teens and this happened many years ago before I moved to the charter school) and so just resorted to a kind of lets try it from a different angle. His issues with the math were actually an expression of his issues at home coming out because his parents were utter dicks and refused to help him adjust to an a issue at home and were like "You fix it. You're a teacher." Uhm, I'm not a marriage counselor or a divorce lawyer but I have to teach your kid algebra and he clearly is hurting. JERKS.

 

And in other jerk news. This summer I spent my hard earned dollars on hanging plant baskets and a couple of bird feeders and I drank coffee and enjoyed my porch. I had to clean a lot of bird poop. Last night at the HOA board meeting a guy complained that my feeding birds and having hanging baskets is causing birds to poop in the pool. (No dick, it's the hot weather and they're searching for water so they're coming to the pool). I am 100 yards away from the pool and the feeders weren't even in direct line of sight to the pool and I cleaned EVERY DAY twice by sweeping and hosing down my area. I put out bird water baths. Last night the board voted to make me take them all down. 500$ and all my pretty hanging baskets are wasted on the ingrate morons I live with. I am seriously thinking of selling and moving.

[Ms. Spam]

https://scontent-dfw5-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t39.30808-6/373537185_24771770125755178_778291029630582416_n.jpg?stp=cp6_dst-jpg_s600x600&_nc_cat=110&ccb=1-7&_nc_sid=5f2048&_nc_ohc=aDCsZ9cGqKcAX9T1Ndi&_nc_ht=scontent-dfw5-1.xx&oh=00_AfD_TZVePUh5fhXzn5C4_owBwT-jPYHHEZDpenB57NAyhQ&oe=653E4591

[Tank]

I don’t know  that I’ve talked about my dad much on here, but here’s the short version: he’s been an alcoholic for my entire life, chain smoker too, and up until I was about ten, it was just a thing I assumed was normal. He was a goofy drunk, and for the most part I was okay. He wasn’t abusive, we had lots of family around and I had aunts and uncles that I spent a lot of time with, and grandparents of course, that cared for me. I only saw my mom on school vacations. She was super busy being a 20 something artist 200 miles away.

There were a few times though where my dad was not great. When I was five I saw him overdose on something, and he luckily bounced back and told me to never tell anyone what I saw or the police would take me away.

When I was around 9 he had a friend who just showed up to live with us one day. They had a party once with all these girls and to impress them his friend dangled me out of a fourth story window.

When I was 10 my dad got a mail order Filipino bride, (or “penpal” as he told everyone). To her credit, she made him clean his act up. She and I got along okay, but the longer she was around the harder it was for me to integrate. They had my brother, then her parents came to stay with us and I was a total outlier in the house. No one was mean to me or anything, I just didn’t feel like I belonged or was ever listened to. I ended up going to live with my mom when I was 12.

From 12-16 I had to spend every school vacation babysitting my brother for no money. In this stage I really started to see and resent my dad and his drinking. Once I was in college and later moved to LA I only saw him once very few years.

Flashforward to about 17 years ago, the first time my dad got to see my kid in person, and he was drunk, and almost dropped my kid. After that, rightfully spurned by the former Mrs. Tank, I told my dad if he wanted to see my kid, he couldn’t drink around him. His response: YOU CANT TELL ME WHAT TO DO. Like, literally his response.

So, I cut him out. He has not been part of my son’s life. They’ve only seen each other a few times. I’ve been honest with my kid about it, and once he was old enough, I told him he could reach out if he wanted his own relationship with my dad. (He wasn’t interested).

Anyway, my dad turns 70 today and has been in and out hospitals this year as his dependency has destroyed his body. He has: an atrophied vascular system due to smoking, and recently had to get a triple bypass in his legs that was only partially successful in restoring blood flow. He broke a hip. He has arrhythmia, and blood in the sac around his heart. His lungs keep building up fluid. He has lymphoma and leukemia, and is too unwell for cancer treatment. Low BP, low platelets, and low white blood cells. And to top it all off, dementia is setting in.

The dementia makes him unreasonable and mean, and to be honest, just makes all his worst alcoholic tendencies (the lying, the manipulating, the selfishness, the laziness) become his core personality. He’s been in and out of hospitals and cut off from alcohol long enough that he is technically fully withdrawn, but mentally it’s all he wants. He is literally asking doctors to bring him beer.

And the next minute he can have a normal conversation and has perfect memory and seems like himself. It’s literally minute to minute. It’s like any and all intrusive thoughts become an instant reality once he thinks them.

I’m thankfully 1200 miles away, but my step mother and brothers have to deal with it daily. I’m removed enough from him that I don’t have a lot of sympathy or empathy for his situation, I def feel for them more than him. But I do find myself thinking it would be easiest if he just died. There’s no quality of life to recover to, he’s endlessly mean, and has pushed everyone away. When I lay it all out it’s a sad story, but I’ve done my work and therapy about it. I’m fine. If anything I feel bad that I don’t feel bad if that makes any sense. At least once I day I get some nonsense text and my reflex is to think “just die already.” Which of course, I can’t say aloud to anyone without seeming like a monster… so you know, I’ll post it here hahahah.

[Zathras]

Wow.  Still absorbing that post.  So sorry to hear that, Tank.