The old (and possibly bad) movies thread!

[Quetzalcoatl]

I recently bought Gung-Ho on Amazon.  I haven’t gotten around to watching it yet.  It’s weird because I know I saw this movie, and have clear recollections of it, but I don’t know when or where I saw it.  I can usually tell you how old I was when I saw a movie, where I was, etc., but I have no context for when/where I saw this.  It’s been bugging me.  I’m hoping watching it will jog my memory.

[Rogue 3]

On a similar subject to the above, has anyone on here watched Hawk the Slayer? 
I bought it cheap on DVD ages back based solely on it being mentioned in the excellent series Spaced (a regular rewatch for me!), but just not got round to watching the film. 

[captainbleh]

I have heard of it (usually "it's bad" stuff), but haven't seen it

But you asking about it has reminded me of Ladyhawke (1985), which is good

[CoLA]

Both of these Hawk movies are added to my list!

 

Friday the 13th, the OG! This movie was surprisingly tame. Half the deaths are offscreen and you just see their body later. Kevin Bacon's death is the worst since you see it and also because it was pretty slow. Axe to the head is probably less painful than an arrow through the back of the neck.

I felt bad for a lot of it since all the characters were all really innocent and likable. Felt especially bad for the goofball dude since he's obviously internally lamenting about not having a girlfriend and then he gets offed.

This movie also has the most unintimidating killer in a horror movie, getting attacked by someone's middle aged mom doesn't seem that scary. At least she had the element of surprise for all the others but then gives up her game to the Final Girl, I guess since she was the only one and thought she would be easy.

FG also made some dumb decisions but that's pretty standard for horror movies. Like, you knocked her out, take her keys and use her jeep! Then after beheading her, she...jumps in a boat to float out in the lake? But it sets up a nice jump scare there!

I've seen the original Halloween and that was a much better slasher movie than F13 but from what I understand, the F13 series is overall more entertaining.

[Lord Darth Hunter]

4 hours ago, CoLA said:

Both of these Hawk movies are added to my list!

 

Friday the 13th, the OG! This movie was surprisingly tame. Half the deaths are offscreen and you just see their body later. Kevin Bacon's death is the worst since you see it and also because it was pretty slow. Axe to the head is probably less painful than an arrow through the back of the neck.

I felt bad for a lot of it since all the characters were all really innocent and likable. Felt especially bad for the goofball dude since he's obviously internally lamenting about not having a girlfriend and then he gets offed.

This movie also has the most unintimidating killer in a horror movie, getting attacked by someone's middle aged mom doesn't seem that scary. At least she had the element of surprise for all the others but then gives up her game to the Final Girl, I guess since she was the only one and thought she would be easy.

FG also made some dumb decisions but that's pretty standard for horror movies. Like, you knocked her out, take her keys and use her jeep! Then after beheading her, she...jumps in a boat to float out in the lake? But it sets up a nice jump scare there!

I've seen the original Halloween and that was a much better slasher movie than F13 but from what I understand, the F13 series is overall more entertaining.

That was part of what made the early slasher films good. The characters actually acted like regular people and made for likeable groups.

Alice did try to jump in the jeep but Annie's body was there. It made her hysterical and caused her to not want to get in it.

[Zathras]

Another must-see is Yor Hunter From the Future!  So terrible it is awesome.   It's like what if you crossed Conan with Turkish Star Wars.  And if you see that, you also have to see Beastmaster.   Another cool cheese flick is  Time Rider the Adventures of Lyle Swann.

 

[CoLA]

56 minutes ago, Lord Darth Hunter said:

That was part of what made the early slasher films good. The characters actually acted like regular people and made for likeable groups.

Alice did try to jump in the jeep but Annie's body was there. It made her hysterical and caused her to not want to get in it.

Oh yeah, Annie was in it. Still, no body would keep my from hauling ass out of there. I'd be like, move over bacon, I need to go!

[CoLA]

25 minutes ago, Zathras said:

Another must-see is Yor Hunter From the Future!  So terrible it is awesome.   It's like what if you crossed Conan with Turkish Star Wars.  And if you see that, you also have to see Beastmaster.   Another cool cheese flick is  Time Rider the Adventures of Lyle Swann.

 

Never heard of Yor! I'm pretty sure I have seen Beastmaster but I was little, so don't really remember it. I remember ferrets...it looks like there are three of them, too. And I have Time Rider on my list already!

[Lord Darth Hunter]

3 hours ago, CoLA said:

Oh yeah, Annie was in it. Still, no body would keep my from hauling ass out of there. I'd be like, move over bacon, I need to go!

I just listened to a podcast about the original 1978 Halloween and they talked about this subject of, "if that was me..." They went through the way audiences criticize Laurie Strode for doing "dumb things" in that movie too. They likened it to people who react to horrible events on the news such as a mass shooting at the mall or at school by saying, "if I had been there I would've..." No you wouldn't. No one knows how they'd react to a situation like that until you're actually facing it. 

[Jedigoat]

A couple I'd like to revisit that I haven't seen since I was a kid to see if they hold up at all:

Ruskies

Cloak and Dagger

My Science Project (I'm sure this one is horrible, lol)

Eliminators (probably terrible)

And another that I can't make up my mind if it classifies as a bad movie (to me) is Remo Williams: The Adventure Begins.  I still love watching this movie.

[captainbleh]

46 minutes ago, Jedigoat said:

And another that I can't make up my mind if it classifies as a bad movie (to me) is Remo Williams: The Adventure Begins.  I still love watching this movie.

That was released as Remo: Unarmed and Dangerous over here

Chiun is hilarious, and I'm not going to let the yellowface lower my opinion of Joel Grey

(same for the problematic stuff in Temple of Doom, just don't do it again and focus on the awesomeness of Indy cutting the bridge)

Eliminators is probably terrible, but probably very watchable too

The villain's ambition is interesting, and one of the actor's daughters played Jane Banks in Mary Poppins

His other daughter was married to Edward Woodward, and best known to UK audiences from playing Betty Spencer

[captainbleh]

Oops, quoted myself instead of editing, but might as well mention Masters of the Universe (1987)

Frank Langella's Skeletor is amazing

[Lord Darth Hunter]

The movie that let it be known that Teela is a vegan. 

[CoLA]

Spacehunter! For a movie with that title, one would think there be more...space in it? Maybe the space he's hunting is personal space since he's supposed to be a loner LOL. So this movie was super campy but really fun, I get the impression the cast had a blast making it.

 There's so much random stuff in this movie it feels like the writers were throwing in everything they could think of. The main guy's android with built in melting feature in case it gets "killed" (why LOL), the scavengers, Ernie Hudson's militia character, some weird blobby melted fat guys? I don't know what they were supposed to be. The mutant kids who seemed friendly until they started lobbing molotovs. A bunch of underwater amazon women and then some dragon lizard thing shows up. This scene also had my favorite exchange of the movie!

Amazon: "Looks like a good breeding man."

Amazon: "I bet breeding with us would kill him."

Wolff: "I'll take that bet."

 

The villain was great, too, even though he gets offed pretty easy. Dude was really hamming it up, his "I lied!" line was great. Overall, I liked it but I felt like it was more of a lighter Mad Max type movie than a space movie. This really could have just made this a post apocalyptic movie and left out the space parts since they weren't really relevant to the rest of the movie.

[CoLA]

Friday the 13th part 2! Sticking to my October horror movie watching. Guess I could put this on the horror movie thread, too but whatever. So no hockey mask yet, just JV in in his overalls and a bag over his head LOL. He's not that intimidating in this one, even one of the dudes in this manages to fight him off. I mean, he loses but he lives to the end.

 And that's another thing, this movie introduces multiple characters that end up surviving! The final girl, her boyfriend and the funny dude. Funny dude only lives because he stays late at the bar instead of going back. We never even see him again. Sometimes it pays to party all night.

 I see this one started the nude scenes and the gore, you had the one girl skinny dipping and you actually saw most characters getting killed in this one. And they had like a whole 30 second shot of that girl's butt in tight jeans, they knew their audience back then!

[Lord Darth Hunter]

I actually think that's what made this one of the best. Jason as a deranged hillbilly who could be fought off for a bit was more intimidating because it's realistic. As opposed to the later sequels where he essentially became a horror muppet, shoot him in the face and he just shrugs it off. 

I think the first one started the gore. And ironically enough, the one character you don't see getting killed on camera is that same girl who goes skinny dipping.  

[CoLA]

Yes, you just see her scream after finding the dude's body! They don't even show her body later, oddly enough. I did have to laugh at how the "You're all going to die!" old dude is one of the first to go LOL. Like, you know the camp is cursed, so..go hang there at night? Makes sense.

 Oh! This one did not take place at Camp Crystal Lake, it was at a neighboring camp on the same lake. Interesting fun fact to use for a trivia contest.

[Lord Darth Hunter]

Yeah, part 2 is at Camp Packanak. Part 3 is at Higgins Haven, and so on. As you can see, I'm a real nerd when it comes to these films. 

The real trivia is only the 1st and 6th took place at Camp Crystal Lake, though in part 6 they had renamed it to Camp Forest Green. The rest take place in other locations around the lake area, then on a boat, outer space and Springwood.  

[Tank]

And Manhattan for like 10 minutes.

[Zathras]

I wish I wasn't in class right now. I'd love to break out my Friday the 13th movies for a marathon watch! 

[Rogue 3]

All the chat a while back on Krull made me get hold of the soundtrack - makes a nice background whilst working on usual excel stuff! “Ride of the Firemares” is just a belter!

[CoLA]

Krull was the bomb, I can tell I'll rewatch it in the future. It's just a fun adventure movie with great characters and music.

 

So I watched Friday the 13th III! So it starts off with a disco sounding track LOL. I thought that had died by the early 80s? So...this is by far the worst one so far. The story, the writing, the characters, the acting...oh boy, the acting. It's just so bad. All the characters are so vapid, there really isn't anyone to root for here except Jason. But he finally gets the trademark mask!

 One of the best bits is early in the movie when a biker gang is in the convenience store and one of the main characters gets held up by them, right in front of the cashier who does nothing LOL. Of course, they get killed when they show up at the campsite, except for one who manages to wake up after getting the beat down from Jason earlier. He comes to and and tries to attack Jason only to get hacked up seconds later. I had to laugh because the girl trying to get away would be wondering where this random biker dude came from.

 And the movie ends with the Final Girl getting into a boat to just drift around. It worked in the first one since viewers wouldn't have seen the jump scare coming but in this one you're expecting it, so it's dumb. I guess the surprise was that it was Jason's no longer headless mom jumping out this time?

There's an odd timeline thing in this one. The FG tells her sort of boyfriend, who had a neat eye popping death scene BTW, that she ran into Jason in the woods months earlier. When would this have happened? I'm not sure how much time passed between 1 and 2, a year since that's how much passed IRL? But 3 picks up immediately after 2. I guess she ran into him prior to the second one but it just seemed weird, also because he was running around without a face covering.

And then it ends with that same disco track! I do not recommend the OST for this one.

[Lord Darth Hunter]

They effed up that flashback scene because based on the timeline, Jason should've been wearing the overalls from part 2.

Larry Zerner, the actor who played Shelly and introduced the hockey mask that Jason takes, had the wherewithal to ask if he could keep the mask after the production ended. They told him no even though they had no idea how iconic this mask would become. And now it's lost to history. They should've just let him have it. He's a lawyer now by the way. 

There's also an alternate ending where Chris gets her head chopped off by Jason instead of that strange sequence of the mother coming out of the lake to grab her. Paramount also lost that. 

 

[Tank]

I met Larry Zerner at the horror-themed picketing event during the strike and he was a goofy, high energy, but very cool guy.

it was be very interesting to see what becomes o things now that the F13 legal situation is clearing up.

[Lord Darth Hunter]

I didn't meet him per se, but I got to see him in a Q&A (along with Tracie Savage, who plays Debbie) after a Friday the 13th Part 3 in full 3-D screening at the TCL Chinese Theater. The love he has for the franchise and his pride in being a part of it comes right across. He does seem very cool.