Cerina Posted February 15 Share Posted February 15 My heart goes out to you both. That's just so painful to read. Mean girl behavior is excused just like "boys will be boys" bullshit. The guilty parties just don't believe that they're doing anything wrong. They feel that they're entitled to be that way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tank Posted February 16 Share Posted February 16 Here's an amusing kid update. O has always loved Pokemon cards. He watched the cartoons briefly, and I don't know if he's ever actually PLAYED the card game itself. I tried to learn the rules and play it with him once, but my ADHD could not fathom the rules and he much preferred the simple,e "war" style game he and his friends made up. He just liked collecting the cards and pretending they were worth money. He's played several of the DS games though. After he moved out of my place he got all his cards in one place and over the last year has been picking through them. A few months ago he and some friends started hitting swap meets and flea markets for fun. Turns out they do in fact have to "catch them all." Surprisingly, he's actually got a few cards worth a fair amount from when he was little-- as in a couple $8k cards. He and his friends have a "business" idea to hunt down old cards and resell them. You know-- a completely original, low risk, huge payoff business plan. I did my best to gently tell him not to "over invest." His step-dad helpfully told him "any card worth anything is already found and flea market folks check eBay for stuff like that." And his mom offered to give him legit proper business advice, and he has ignored all of us of course. He just paid $350 to send off his valuable cards to get slabbed and rated. Basically it's one of those "spend a bunch of money dreaming of one big payoff that probably will break you even realistically" type business. I'm split between telling him to save his money, and just letting him have fun while he still gets to live rent free and spend all his paycheck on himself while it lasts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ms. Spam Posted February 16 Share Posted February 16 Oh like my comic collecting days. Sad face. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Destiny Skywalker Posted February 16 Author Share Posted February 16 16 hours ago, Tank said: Here's an amusing kid update. O has always loved Pokemon cards. He watched the cartoons briefly, and I don't know if he's ever actually PLAYED the card game itself. I tried to learn the rules and play it with him once, but my ADHD could not fathom the rules and he much preferred the simple,e "war" style game he and his friends made up. He just liked collecting the cards and pretending they were worth money. He's played several of the DS games though. After he moved out of my place he got all his cards in one place and over the last year has been picking through them. A few months ago he and some friends started hitting swap meets and flea markets for fun. Turns out they do in fact have to "catch them all." Surprisingly, he's actually got a few cards worth a fair amount from when he was little-- as in a couple $8k cards. He and his friends have a "business" idea to hunt down old cards and resell them. You know-- a completely original, low risk, huge payoff business plan. I did my best to gently tell him not to "over invest." His step-dad helpfully told him "any card worth anything is already found and flea market folks check eBay for stuff like that." And his mom offered to give him legit proper business advice, and he has ignored all of us of course. He just paid $350 to send off his valuable cards to get slabbed and rated. Basically it's one of those "spend a bunch of money dreaming of one big payoff that probably will break you even realistically" type business. I'm split between telling him to save his money, and just letting him have fun while he still gets to live rent free and spend all his paycheck on himself while it lasts. Is this kind of like my Boomer pare ts hanging onto to all my old toys because they might be worth something someday, and missing out on the actual Beanie Baby craze? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth Krawlie Posted February 16 Share Posted February 16 Man I collect toys from our childhood and let me tell you, for the right collector, that shit can be worth A LOT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ms. Spam Posted February 18 Share Posted February 18 Finding that right collector is murder. I sold my comic book collection for $250 dollars because I got tired of moving 9 long boxes of Amazing Spider Man and X-Men and rando Image house comics. That was over 20 years of comics. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Destiny Skywalker Posted February 27 Author Share Posted February 27 Q got into one of the private schools for next year. That's a relief. It's a really small school (22 kids max per grade/class) so I hope that's the right fit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Destiny Skywalker Posted February 29 Author Share Posted February 29 Woooooo, bullet dodged. Our school board tonight miraculously voted to not move 6th grade into middle school. This is such a relief to me. E has made so much progress but there's still so much ground to cover. It is my hope that he will not need paraeducator support in middle school. If we don't have to worry until 7th, I think that might be achievable. If Q does well at the new school, they sounded open to accepting E if he no longer needs the writing support. I think that small environment would be much better for him, as well. When I brought it up, they said they had a few kids with ASD and they seem like they offer more 504/IEP support than other private schools in our area. I think if Q does well, we will have a good idea of whether they will be able to support E. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hobbes Posted February 29 Share Posted February 29 11 hours ago, Destiny Skywalker said: Woooooo, bullet dodged. Our school board tonight miraculously voted to not move 6th grade into middle school. This is such a relief to me. E has made so much progress but there's still so much ground to cover. It is my hope that he will not need paraeducator support in middle school. If we don't have to worry until 7th, I think that might be achievable. If Q does well at the new school, they sounded open to accepting E if he no longer needs the writing support. I think that small environment would be much better for him, as well. When I brought it up, they said they had a few kids with ASD and they seem like they offer more 504/IEP support than other private schools in our area. I think if Q does well, we will have a good idea of whether they will be able to support E. That is awesome. If I were to redesign schools, I would have K-6 (divided into K-3 and 4-6), 7-9, and 9-12. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Destiny Skywalker Posted March 1 Author Share Posted March 1 My BFF lives in Louisiana, they apparently split things up like you propose. Middle school is 4-6, junior high is 7-8. I think they might even do K-1 and 2-3 separately. I really liked E's K-2 school. (Well, really they also did ECEAP for the north end of the district, too, which is the more rural part.) They have a 3-6 school as well, but those are the only 2 in the district that aren't K-6. I'm going to admit to being shocked that they changed their recommendation. I assumed it was a done deal when they announced it. But the uproar was huge. Most parents were opposed and loudly so. Apparently a lot of our middle school bus routes also pick up the high schoolers too, so that was a concern to be exposing 6th graders to high school bus antics. Q's school is a mess. The kids are out of control and it stresses her out. Today the boys were squishing bananas and smearing them everywhere at lunch, and the principal had to come talk to the class after lunch because they refused to stop when the assistant principal showed up. The other stories she tells me too, it's like an asylum. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacen123 Posted March 10 Share Posted March 10 My son’s been very fussy most of the week. He already got his canines in on one side and it looked like the other side was coming out too, which made some sense with all the fussiness. But then towards the middle of the week, he stopped wanting to eat or drink anything, too. On Thursday, we started hydrating with medicine droppers which helped some and he started seeming better yesterday morning. Then he got worse in the e ending again. Because of this, we took him to urgent care this morning to see if anything else was up. They saw that he has an ear infection and then also tested him for strep and Covid. Even though he had Covid only 6 weeks ago, he tested positive for it again! It’s his third time with it this year. Fortunately, he seems better already since this morning and is starting to willingly eat and drink more, but just doesn’t want to use any silly cups or straws right now. What a horrible trifecta of teething, Covid, and ear infection. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Destiny Skywalker Posted March 10 Author Share Posted March 10 Poor dude! I hope he is better soon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacen123 Posted March 10 Share Posted March 10 Thanks! He is asking for more food and drinks today so far this morning. Hopefully this keeps up and he gets back to his normal self soon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hobbes Posted April 9 Share Posted April 9 About a month ago a 7th grader was caught masturbating in the bathroom by other students. To my absolute shock, no one really made fun of him for it (we have some pretty decent middle students). I had to have a very awkward conversation with him and with his mom. This morning, he was caught again, this time by his younger brother (6th grade) and he started making fun of him non-stop. I just got chewed out by the mom because I am letting another student (his brother) make fun of him for masturbating AND she was mad at me for making the younger brother miss recess for making fun of his brother and not the other kids that were making fun of him the brother told his mom he was the only one that got in trouble...but there were no other kids making fun of him). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Destiny Skywalker Posted April 10 Author Share Posted April 10 Is she going to continue to rail about this or will it be a one time chew out? (Guess it depends on if he gets caught again.) We just got done with spring break, Q seemed relaxed. And then I got a call from the principal. One of the mean girls filed another bullying report. I'm considering legal action because the accusations are now stooping to defamation, and they certainly seem to be retaliation. I wrote to the deputy superintendent and the school board (her therapist recommended looping them in because of how this has been handled so far). If they find her guilty this time I am homeschooling her until the end of the year. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hobbes Posted April 10 Share Posted April 10 14 hours ago, Destiny Skywalker said: Is she going to continue to rail about this or will it be a one time chew out? (Guess it depends on if he gets caught again.) We just got done with spring break, Q seemed relaxed. And then I got a call from the principal. One of the mean girls filed another bullying report. I'm considering legal action because the accusations are now stooping to defamation, and they certainly seem to be retaliation. I wrote to the deputy superintendent and the school board (her therapist recommended looping them in because of how this has been handled so far). If they find her guilty this time I am homeschooling her until the end of the year. She has her own set of issues. What legal action are you considering? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Destiny Skywalker Posted April 10 Author Share Posted April 10 I don't know, suing for emotional distress caused by bullying and the school and district continuing to sweep it under the rug? All these therapy bills I have to pay, the time off from work, private school tuition? This is ruining her life, and her therapist is really concerned that this long-term stress is going to be life-altering. Like, she will literally need therapy forever, and probably has PTSD or some long-standing trauma. A friend recommended a lawyer who helped them force their district to allow their son, who is on an IEP, to test for their gifted program. I got a thank you for bringing your concerns to light reply from the superintendent. Who I didn't email. He said he is going to meet with the principal. So hopefully someone is paying attention now and I don't have to lawyer up. But this needs to stop. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cerina Posted April 12 Share Posted April 12 Assuming you can afford it, lawyer up anyway. It's not going to stop. They're being absolutely fucking ridiculous at this point. Is her therapist willing to testify to her overall stress level and emotional state? I would also yank her out and homeschool anyway. But I know it's not as easy as it sounds since you both work full time and all. But seriously, fuck these people. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Destiny Skywalker Posted April 13 Author Share Posted April 13 She insists she wants to finish the year out because she loves her teacher. Of all the things to be resilient about. I am so glad that we will never have to set foot in this horrible school again. I was hoping to hear back from the superintendent, but it appears to have just been lip service. Q was found to not be bullying because of the ridiculous criteria. It's clear they don't believe her side of the story but couldnt find any additional witnesses, and they've created a separation plan for the girls. Q went to the principal and asked why they didn't put a separation plan in place earlier when she had complained. It's clear they are protecting the other girl more than Q. I think it is because the mom is on the PTO and has 3 more kids at the school, while we are done in 9 weeks and they never have to see her again. The principal denied it, but I'm proud of her for advocating for herself. When I was finally told the official complaint by the principal, I told her that even if it was true, it's definitely not bullying. Apparently the girl claims that Q walked up to her, and said, "Hey, do you know what rape is?" and the girl said no. Q then told the girl that it's when someone forces themselves on you, and the girl told her she needed space, and then Q yelled, "Why are you bullying me?" I can tell you in no universe did this ridiculous conversation take place because it doesn't even make sense. It's so bad it sounds like AI wrote it, or it's just a terrible attempt at a 12-year old lie and I absolutely cannot fathom why anyone even thinks this conversation was real. I'm told it is inappropriate to say "rape" at school at all. In all honesty, I could believe that part of the conversation happened if someone made an inappropriate comment about rape and Professor Q decided to bust out the dictionary definition, but Q insists the word rape was never said to this girl or anyone else. I also told the principal off because she tried to claim the girls were friends again. (Q told me she had hoped for it to be true, but its clear now it wasn't.) I told her that these girls were never her friends and that was a narrative the staff was pushing because they couldn't see through their behavior and wanted everything to be fine. The principal is tired of my shit because I keep calling them on their nonsense. What Q did later admit to me, was she got 69 as an answer in math, pointed to it on her paper to the girl and laughed. That's some realistic 12-year old stuff. I suspect what actually happened is that the girl made an inappropriate comment at home and Q was her scapegoat. I forgot to tell you a month or so ago, the control freak mom who called Q a bad influence called up the other girl's mom (the one making the latest claims) and told her that HER daughter was a bad influence. The girls are still hanging out at school but the other girl was upset about it. This girl is the perfect example of pretends to be an angel in public but behind closed doors she is always instigating weird or sexual comments and seeing what she can get away with. Have fun with that one, mom. I'd rather have the kid with no filter who I can have open and honest conversations with. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Destiny Skywalker Posted April 19 Author Share Posted April 19 I guess things have died down a bit, probably thanks to the separation plan, but Q has still been down. I want this year over with. The control freak mom's daughter has also not been back at school, since spring break, so we are going on 2 weeks now. I have a feeling she is not coming back. I am clearing my calendar to attend their field trip to the Kangaroo Farm because I feel like I need to go so no one can accuse Q of something ridiculous. We signer up for a club's soccer tryouts kind of as a warmup/get out the nerves, but they ended up having such an overwhelming turnout that they are going to form 2 teams and now I have to take it seriously. She tried out for this club last year and I was convinced this was the right place for her because of what I've heard about the club culture (all good things, and they were moving to a new league that is less about the good old boys clubs and more about just letting any team play where they belong eithout their weird alliances). And then at tryouts the coach was weird. He walked up to Q because she was juggling very well and asked her what club she was from. She told him. It was apparently the wrong answer and he ignored her after that. I couldn't understand why this coach was completely ignoring her, despite playing pretty well and going all out. She had one rough moment when they paired them up for 3v3 and she got put with these girls who were absolutely terrible, but she did well otherwise. I was so proud of her. And then, no offer. We heard through the grapevine that they tried to poach as many girls as possible from a certain club, and now that club was unable to form a team because of it. Girls who played at that club and knew Q said that Q got screwed because she was a better player than some of the girls who got picked up. So we changed plans and went elsewhere. It really hurt Q and she was pretty embarrassed by being cut, she's never been straight cut by a club before. So I saw they were having tryouts and they are free, so I suggested what the heck let's just go so you can get the nerves out. The other tryouts aren't for another 2 weeks. However, now I am pretty sure she is going to get an offer this time. I actually sat in the car both nights and didn't watch because I'm tired of getting mad about adults ruining soccer for kids, but from the little I did see, Q held her own in the scrimmages and was working hard, which I was worried about because she's been so defeated lately. I encouraged her to play anywhere but defense, because she's small and honestly, defense just seems to be a crutch for her and doesn't use her best skills, so she doesnt really shine there (nor is she big, so she has to rely on all skill and not size). Personally I think she'd make a great defensive center mid because she's good at disruption and stopping counter attacks if her team doesn't hang her out to dry on 2v1 or 3v1 situations like her last team did. But she tried center mid, which I think is a good spot for her in general because of her first touch and passing skills, but its going to require more fitness if she stays there. I doubt she will make the first team because I was told that this club really emphasizes keeping teams together and protecting returning players, and it looked like most returned. The A team did really well last fall and played in the top division in the spring, which took them all over the state to play other top teams. Honestly, I'm not sure we want that anyway. I think she'd rather have shorter drives to games and a but of a break in the winter to ski. I'm good with that, too. I'm getting to the point where I'm getting a little more vocal about how none of these girls are going to play D1 soccer, and we all need to chill. As I used to say at my indoor soccer teams, D league is for Day Job. No one is going pro, so let's just have fun. If she doesn't make it, she's found out one of her former teammates is moving off her old A team because it's too much travel and just too much soccer. They are still figuring out coaches for next year over there for both A and B team. So she may want to play with them, but I'm waiting to see who the B team coach is first. Q wants to play with the A team girls because she likes them (and they are super nice girls), but the current coach is a no go, and I think it would be too much travel for her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Destiny Skywalker Posted Wednesday at 09:48 PM Author Share Posted Wednesday at 09:48 PM One of Q's bullies hauled off on her in gym class today and made her nose bleed. Everyone laughed and told her to get up and then made fun of her for crying. I picked her up from school. They are doing their investigation. Q has her science fair presentation tonight and that may be the last time she ever steps foot in that school. If they let her bully off I'm absolutely pulling her because she will be a sitting duck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tank Posted Wednesday at 11:20 PM Share Posted Wednesday at 11:20 PM Jesus yeah, there’s no way that’s defendable. And wtf happen to the separation plan? This is infuriating. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RUAJedi2 Posted Wednesday at 11:59 PM Share Posted Wednesday at 11:59 PM 2 hours ago, Destiny Skywalker said: One of Q's bullies hauled off on her in gym class today and made her nose bleed. Everyone laughed and told her to get up and then made fun of her for crying. I picked her up from school. They are doing their investigation. Q has her science fair presentation tonight and that may be the last time she ever steps foot in that school. If they let her bully off I'm absolutely pulling her because she will be a sitting duck. What. The. Actual. Fuck. Definitely time to consult an attorney. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Destiny Skywalker Posted Thursday at 02:13 AM Author Share Posted Thursday at 02:13 AM 3 hours ago, Tank said: Jesus yeah, there’s no way that’s defendable. And wtf happen to the separation plan? This is infuriating. The separation plan was between her and another girl. This one was definitely one of the biggest antagonists in January and the one that has made up lies about Q to others. I actually think she's the worst person out of all of them. But after the bullying report, she laid low. But there's 36 days of school left, so I've noticed the 6th graders are amping it up because they think they're done. She saw an opportunity and took it. Q won 1st place at the Science Fair tonight. Suck it, Mean Girls. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Destiny Skywalker Posted Thursday at 11:37 PM Author Share Posted Thursday at 11:37 PM So, they determined it was an accident because the bully said it was. Her consequence is that she has to apologize. Not even a separation plan. There is zero accountability at this school. They have looked at every incident on an individual basis, but where there is smoke, there is fire. Q can get along with other kids just fine in the right environment where the adults have actual expectations for behavior. I'm sitting in on a choir practice right now and the kids here are so nice. Her Girl Scout troop is a great little group of weirdos who all get along despite having a wide variety of interests. The principal and superintendent give zero Fs. I'm going to talk to Q tonight and I have to convince her that there is nothing worth going back for. She got to do Science Fair, field trips to the Kangaroo Farm and bowling are not worth 35 more days of this nonsense. I will take her there myself. I did express to the principal that the 6th graders are really amping up the antics the last few weeks from what I am hearing from Q at school. The comments are getting meaner, the behavior more extra. They know they are almost done at this school and no one is going to hold them accountable. She actually agreed that she had witnessed the same and was going to talk to Q's entire class about how they were not meeting behavior expectations, as well as addressing the school as a whole. They have such a culture problem there, and it's perpetuated by the school counselor who encourages sarcasm and witty comebacks instead of encouraging open, honest and kind communication. You aren't going to reach kids by stooping to their level. That's not teaching them anything. That's giving up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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