Kid stuff

[RUAJedi2]

6 hours ago, Hobbes said:

 

that’s right—we have a new student named Bilbo Baggins.

Shut. Up.

I cannot love this post (and that kid's parents) enough times.

Is the kid's name really Bilbo??!?! Squeeeeeee! But the poor little guy (assuming it's a boy hobbit) is going to receive so much crap over his name as he goes through life :-(

[Hobbes]

On 8/22/2023 at 12:05 AM, RUAJedi2 said:

Shut. Up.

I cannot love this post (and that kid's parents) enough times.

Is the kid's name really Bilbo??!?! Squeeeeeee! But the poor little guy (assuming it's a boy hobbit) is going to receive so much crap over his name as he goes through life :-(

Yeah--that's his name.

Brothers name is Noodle Baggins.

[Ms. Spam]

I had an Anakin a few years ago.

[Jacen123]

One of the other babies at my son’s daycare is named Daenerys.

[Cerina]

So for those of you who didn't see my post last month on FB, Luke officially got his autism diagnosis from the district's psychologist. I had a lot of feelings about it. 

We actually had his ARD last week with the whole gang. Everyone agreed that he's just the sweetest kid, which is good since he can be quite a pill at home most days. He's going well academically, but he's still a bit behind his peers in reading and writing, which isn't a great shock considering that his expressive and receptive speech is his #1 issue. So he gets one-on-one help during those times in class. But I question this a bit because apparently he's been "reading" Captain Underpants books during their DARE (drop everything and read) time, and CU is waaaaay above his reading level. We have a parent-teacher conference tomorrow, so we'll probably bring that up. Pleasure reading doesn't seem that effective if he's not actually reading. 

The big kiddo is doing well at school still. He's currently making straight-As, and 4/5 of his 7 classes are technically honors classes since ALL the core classes are honors classes. (And I say 4/5 because they have one 2 period class they call the integrated humanities program that serves as their language arts and social studies credits, but it's one grade on the reports.) He's also taking biology, Spanish, and geometry/Euclid's Elements as honors classes. 

He also spent a week in Colorado 2 weeks ago on a 5 day backpacking trip with a small group of boys from his class. Way cooler than anything I ever got to do in school. Pics attached. Mine's the one with the hair. He's also bringing up the rear in the pic where they're actually hiking. His backpack doesn't match because he was the only kid on the trip who actually supplied his own gear as opposed to borrowing it from the expedition company that the school used, and as such, he came home less sore than everyone else, despite his feet problems, probably because his backpack has been properly fitted and he's received more than 15 minutes of instruction on how to pack it. 

 

[Destiny Skywalker]

We're not doing so great over here. E is on waitlist after waitlist. We were told likely another 9 months for an autism evaluation. Waiting until December to see the urologist. And I had to fight with the genetic counseling folks because they wanted us to fork out $4k for testing after insurance said they wouldn't cover it unless he was hospitalized. (They did agree to cover 2 other tests, though, but I had to fight the hospital to get them to agree to salad and the main course instead of the buffet they wanted.) He is getting a lot less paraeducator help this year, and I think people are getting frustrated at his attention span, but I can't do much about that. I just want some answers for him. I'm becoming increasingly concerned that we may be looking at an intellectual disorder, not just a developmental disorder.

Q is having trouble with friends at school. The friends she had last year ditched her after 2 of the girls left to attend private school (one of them is at her former school). Turns out 1 of those girls really liked her and made the other girls knock off the mean girl antics. One of the girls came to school the 2nd day and announced she was no longer allowed to be friends with Q because her mom said she was a "bad influence". I'd like to know what drugs they caught Q in the parking lot with. I didn't tolerate this stuff when I was a tween, and I have even less patience for it now. Half the girls on her soccer team are somehow even meaner than last year's girls. Like the poor sportsmanship is simply astounding. And they aren't even that good. (They did stomp her old team 6-1 this summer in a tournament. That was pretty satisfying.) They are good athletes but not good soccer players, and they really just care about winning. And they are telling her they are losing because of her when really it's the entire team is making mistakes. So I think it's time to consider less serious teams where she can have fun and the focus is not only on winning but enjoying the sport. (Cue for Ender and I: insert rant on pay-to-play here.) We've offered to let her quit entirely but she said she wants to play soccer (and there are no other teams with openings until May). The sole saving graces right now are her new choir group and Girl Scouts starting up again. This age is just so terrible. I hate mean girls.

[Hobbes]

12 hours ago, Cerina said:

So for those of you who didn't see my post last month on FB, Luke officially got his autism diagnosis from the district's psychologist. I had a lot of feelings about it. 

We actually had his ARD last week with the whole gang. Everyone agreed that he's just the sweetest kid, which is good since he can be quite a pill at home most days. He's going well academically, but he's still a bit behind his peers in reading and writing, which isn't a great shock considering that his expressive and receptive speech is his #1 issue. So he gets one-on-one help during those times in class. But I question this a bit because apparently he's been "reading" Captain Underpants books during their DARE (drop everything and read) time, and CU is waaaaay above his reading level. We have a parent-teacher conference tomorrow, so we'll probably bring that up. Pleasure reading doesn't seem that effective if he's not actually reading. 

The big kiddo is doing well at school still. He's currently making straight-As, and 4/5 of his 7 classes are technically honors classes since ALL the core classes are honors classes. (And I say 4/5 because they have one 2 period class they call the integrated humanities program that serves as their language arts and social studies credits, but it's one grade on the reports.) He's also taking biology, Spanish, and geometry/Euclid's Elements as honors classes. 

He also spent a week in Colorado 2 weeks ago on a 5 day backpacking trip with a small group of boys from his class. Way cooler than anything I ever got to do in school. Pics attached. Mine's the one with the hair. He's also bringing up the rear in the pic where they're actually hiking. His backpack doesn't match because he was the only kid on the trip who actually supplied his own gear as opposed to borrowing it from the expedition company that the school used, and as such, he came home less sore than everyone else, despite his feet problems, probably because his backpack has been properly fitted and he's received more than 15 minutes of instruction on how to pack it. 

 

What are your thoughts on the autism diagnosis--I am interested in your feelings?  Just curious, when you say diagnose, do you mean the psychologist qualified Luke for an IEP under autism?  That is awesome both boys are finding success at school--aren't they in a charter?  I never heard the term ARD before--I had to look it up  

Where in Colorado were you?  Nice pictures, but all the trees here being killed by the pine bark beetle are depressing.  Fucking global warming....

 

11 hours ago, Destiny Skywalker said:

We're not doing so great over here. E is on waitlist after waitlist. We were told likely another 9 months for an autism evaluation. Waiting until December to see the urologist. And I had to fight with the genetic counseling folks because they wanted us to fork out $4k for testing after insurance said they wouldn't cover it unless he was hospitalized. (They did agree to cover 2 other tests, though, but I had to fight the hospital to get them to agree to salad and the main course instead of the buffet they wanted.) He is getting a lot less paraeducator help this year, and I think people are getting frustrated at his attention span, but I can't do much about that. I just want some answers for him. I'm becoming increasingly concerned that we may be looking at an intellectual disorder, not just a developmental disorder.

Q is having trouble with friends at school. The friends she had last year ditched her after 2 of the girls left to attend private school (one of them is at her former school). Turns out 1 of those girls really liked her and made the other girls knock off the mean girl antics. One of the girls came to school the 2nd day and announced she was no longer allowed to be friends with Q because her mom said she was a "bad influence". I'd like to know what drugs they caught Q in the parking lot with. I didn't tolerate this stuff when I was a tween, and I have even less patience for it now. Half the girls on her soccer team are somehow even meaner than last year's girls. Like the poor sportsmanship is simply astounding. And they aren't even that good. (They did stomp her old team 6-1 this summer in a tournament. That was pretty satisfying.) They are good athletes but not good soccer players, and they really just care about winning. And they are telling her they are losing because of her when really it's the entire team is making mistakes. So I think it's time to consider less serious teams where she can have fun and the focus is not only on winning but enjoying the sport. (Cue for Ender and I: insert rant on pay-to-play here.) We've offered to let her quit entirely but she said she wants to play soccer (and there are no other teams with openings until May). The sole saving graces right now are her new choir group and Girl Scouts starting up again. This age is just so terrible. I hate mean girls.

Sorry about E.  Our oldest has ODD and anger issues and the doctor wanted to test him for autism...which was a wait and cost a couple grand.  Interestingly, how they would treat him for autism is the same for ODD.  He was on Guanfacine to help with his ADHD and that seemed to help some last year, but he started having more issues and he was put on Risperdal (which was originality used to treat severe issues such as schizophrenia and more severe forms of autism) and that has been a COMPLETE game changer.  

Incoming rant....Yeah, mean girls is BY FAR my least favorite behavior to deal with--because usually there is some learned behavior from the parent--the queen bee girl's mom is 99% of the time also a queen bee and always believes her child 100%.  Also, usually the friends groups intermix so the girl has to hang around the queen bee to hang around her friends.  The other issue is the bullying is so on the down low it is really tough to manage--I can't make someone miss recess for mean mugging in class or mean texts out of school.  Finally, restorative practices/ circles absolutely do not work for this behavior--you can't talk about how the behavior impacted/ hurt the other person when that was the objective of the behavior. 

[Destiny Skywalker]

E was on guanfacine and we just switched him to Strattera because guanfacine hasn't done much, and once when we accidentally bumped his dose, it was a disaster. He did well on Strattera in the past, but he couldn't swallow pills and the insides are horribly bitter (my husband accidentally got a little on his fingers once and said it was awful and he got why E was refusing to take it), so we switched to guanfacine. That said, we might need to increase the Strattera because he is on the lowest dose. We also tried clonodine and OMG, that was a mistake. 

I'm glad you said it out loud about restorative practices not working for bullying. Our school counselor thinks that's the answer to everything. She also excuses some of it because Q is just not on the same page socially. And honestly, I'm ok with that. I'd rather her be a little weird than mean. But it makes me sad that we protect the mean girls better than the supposedly less socially adept.

The mean girl stuff on the soccer team is 100% learning from mom. It took me about a month that I wanted nothing to do with about half the families. They are mean shit-talkers who speak poorly about everyone else. No thanks, I'll hang out over here.

[Cerina]

10 hours ago, Hobbes said:

What are your thoughts on the autism diagnosis--I am interested in your feelings?  Just curious, when you say diagnose, do you mean the psychologist qualified Luke for an IEP under autism?  That is awesome both boys are finding success at school--aren't they in a charter?  I never heard the term ARD before--I had to look it up  

Where in Colorado were you?  Nice pictures, but all the trees here being killed by the pine bark beetle are depressing.  Fucking global warming....

 

Yeah, sorry. Not a diagnosis diagnosis. I’ve been explaining this to a lot of family lately, so I’ve had to shorthand and appropriate some verbiage that they relate to. Forgot I was going to be addressing some pros on here
 

Here’s what I wrote on FB. 
 

Quote

We got Luke's test results this week. He had a full individual evaluation earlier this summer with the school's psychologist and speech therapist, so his report was something like 65 pages long. It was a lot for this momma to slug through, and despite the fact that it didn't contain any information or insights I didn't already know or suspect, it was still very hard to see in black and white print. 

Luke meets the markers for mild to moderate autistic traits. He also has a speech disability affecting his expressive, receptive, and pragmatic language. 

They didn't find any evidence of an intellectual or cognitive disability, but his subtest scores on these tests were disheartening. He's "in the typical" range for a child his age, but most subtests were scored average to below average. However, the psychologist and I agree that his anxiety, autism, and speech impairments most likely greatly affected these scores negatively. 

This is rough, y'all. I mean, none of it is shocking. He's my kid. I live with him. I already knew all of this. I know he can't answer some questions appropriately. I know he gets immense anxiety in new situations and especially when pushed socially. I know he shuts down. I know that most times you have to give instructions or explanations to him in a certain way for him to understand. I know he needs extra reminders and prodding. I know he doesn't have behavioral issues which is what generally flags children for testing and services, so I know many people don't see him as a child with special needs. I already know all of this, and I know that he's a great kid and his needs are far below some of his peers,  but I'm still heartbroken over it. I know many of you also understand where I'm at perfectly.

 

The hardest part was seeing the subtest scores in the ability tests, not gonna lie. The only other scores I’ve read through are Noah’s and my own. Noah’s scores were all well above average except in areas where he displays more of a disability challenge - working memory, processing speed, etc. My lowest standardized test score ever was in the 94th percentile (don’t recall the subtest). Seeing scores this “low” was painful. There’s a lot to unpack there I’m aware. And in a similar vein, the entire 2nd grade gets screened for the gifted program in the next month, and I’m not sure exactly how I feel about that either. 
 

Luke is in the local public school so he can take full advantage of their special needs programs and supports. Noah’s at a public classical charter. It’s good for him, but would be too strict for Luke. 
 

I think they were near Alamosa? Near Rio Grande, but not THE Rio Grande (which confused a lot of those Texas kids). 

[Hobbes]

1 hour ago, Destiny Skywalker said:

E was on guanfacine and we just switched him to Strattera because guanfacine hasn't done much, and once when we accidentally bumped his dose, it was a disaster. He did well on Strattera in the past, but he couldn't swallow pills and the insides are horribly bitter (my husband accidentally got a little on his fingers once and said it was awful and he got why E was refusing to take it), so we switched to guanfacine. That said, we might need to increase the Strattera because he is on the lowest dose. We also tried clonodine and OMG, that was a mistake. 

I'm glad you said it out loud about restorative practices not working for bullying. Our school counselor thinks that's the answer to everything. She also excuses some of it because Q is just not on the same page socially. And honestly, I'm ok with that. I'd rather her be a little weird than mean. But it makes me sad that we protect the mean girls better than the supposedly less socially adept.

The mean girl stuff on the soccer team is 100% learning from mom. It took me about a month that I wanted nothing to do with about half the families. They are mean shit-talkers who speak poorly about everyone else. No thanks, I'll hang out over here.

The pills tasting bad is real-we tried adderal but it was near impossible to take because of the taste.  We were essentially mixing it with a few spoonfuls of ice cream and that still wasn't enough. 

I am a big fan of restorative practices.  But there are some behaviors or circumstances that they do not work.  I am not saying it can't work for bullying, but it usually doesn't--especially once students get older.  Usually the victim doesn't want to confront the bully or talk it out or want the harm repaired...they just want to be left the fuck alone.   RP in this scenario is only making it worse because the bully says the right things in the circle but then breaks the agreement and the victim is continually victimized without consequence.  It should be up to the victim to agree to RP.  Using RP for negative behaviors rarely work unless you use also use progressive discipline. 

So, true story about moms.  I had two moms complain about that the girls were bullying each other and their daughter was the victim.  I met with the moms and both turned over pages of texts of the other girl calling their daughter names.  BUT BOTH MOMS deleted their daughter's texts to the other girl.  I called out both moms and they BOTH said they didn't think their daughter's text was relevant. 

 

 

31 minutes ago, Cerina said:

Yeah, sorry. Not a diagnosis diagnosis. I’ve been explaining this to a lot of family lately, so I’ve had to shorthand and appropriate some verbiage that they relate to. Forgot I was going to be addressing some pros on here
 

Here’s what I wrote on FB.
 

LOL---sorry I didnt mean to sound like a smart ass.  I do know of some schools that have a psychiatrist on staff and sees students.  I am always interested how different schools do things.

Were working memory or processing speed index lower in Luke's as well?  Those are the two that are typically abnormally low in 2E kids.  It looks like he will be taking the CogAt later in the year- the WISC IV is much more accurate so the CogAT won't tell them anything they don't already know so there's no harm in opting him out.

Your last paragraph broke my heart.  For what its worth, those are all just a few numbers that measure one small part of who your son is.  Just by your description, I am guessing your son has an exceptionally high EQ.  School may not be as easy for him as big brother, but once he gets his diploma, people with high EQs have a lot more opportunities available to him.  I have been doing this long enough I have had plenty of kids in special education that went on to do great things.  In fact, I had one former student with similar scores to your son and he graduated from DePaul with a masters in school psychology and he is now a VERY successful school psychologist.  I could go on naming more successful students with scores similar to Luke, but I just always think of him because we still talk--I was in his wedding.  Labels are for jars of pickles...not kids.

You never did say where you were in CO?  I know you usually go to Summit County, but that doesn't look like Summit County to me. 

 

 

[Destiny Skywalker]

I went to Q's curriculum night tonight. Her teacher held me back to tell me how wonderful she is doing and how she is one of the kindest kids in the class, wise beyond her years. She is respectful and follows established boundaries. This is the kid I know. I'm glad she has this teacher who sees her heart. She also said she would love to have Q on Student Council because she is the sponsor.

That said I arrived to curriculum night pissed off because of more mean girl antics today that had Q crying in the bathroom and an adult sent her to the office for support after seeing her emerge from thr bathroom still in tears. The principal tried to tell her that these girls say they want to be her friend still, but their actions indicate otherwise. I fired off an email to the counselor because she was out today but also to document so that no one can be shocked when I file a report with the district Harassment, Intimidation and Bullying office.

[RUAJedi2]

Good on you for documenting. I'm having all the feels for you and Q.

[Cerina]

Ender, Alamosa. Or nearish there. At least that's the weather they told us to look up!

[Destiny Skywalker]

I just sent home 4 11 year old girls from a sleepover. We took them to play laser tag and to a Mexican restaurant. 3 of them ordered chicken nuggets and even that took a lot of convincing because they had never had THOSE chicken nuggets before. One was distraught that there were no mozzarella sticks on the menu. The other one told me she had never HAD a taco before. They picked at the chicken nuggets. I am taking both of them camping in 3 weeks. Heaven help me. I will never complain about my son being a picky eater ever again. He at least will try pizza or a burger ANYWHERE.

[Hobbes]

On 9/30/2023 at 9:59 PM, Cerina said:

Ender, Alamosa. Or nearish there. At least that's the weather they told us to look up!

Based on the scenery, you must have been way out there if you were near Alamosa!  If you were where I think you are--that part is scary to me...hardly any cars, no towns, no cell service.  I had to drive through that area in a blizzard at night and it was probably the most scared I had ever been...if I had an accident I probably would died in one fashion or another.  

Were you near the sand dunes?

 

20 hours ago, Destiny Skywalker said:

I just sent home 4 11 year old girls from a sleepover. We took them to play laser tag and to a Mexican restaurant. 3 of them ordered chicken nuggets and even that took a lot of convincing because they had never had THOSE chicken nuggets before. One was distraught that there were no mozzarella sticks on the menu. The other one told me she had never HAD a taco before. They picked at the chicken nuggets. I am taking both of them camping in 3 weeks. Heaven help me. I will never complain about my son being a picky eater ever again. He at least will try pizza or a burger ANYWHERE.

Wow....god speed with the camping.  What is your plan to prepare them to eat?

I had my oldest 7-year-old birthday party this weekend.  We had it at a family friendly pizza place that is also a bar.  It has lots of outdoor space, pinball machines, etc.  I feel awkward at these things.  One parent of a kid who is a pretty significant behavior problem just told me (not asked) she is leaving and will be back when the party is over.  I was pissed as a parent, but I was all, "sure no problem".  Fortunately, she was back just in time to remove him from the party when he lost it (kid is pretty explosive both physically and emotionally).  She pulls similar shit at school, but this time it just hit differently.  Just because I mange your kids behavior at school doesn't mean I want to do the same at my kid's birthday party.  I wanted to say something to her as a parent, but she is a pain in my ass already so I just let it go. 

 

[Hobbes]

....and the kid was dropped off without shoes this morning...

[Destiny Skywalker]

I'm always amazed when that happens. My in-laws once left on vacation and realized their kid didn't have shoes. But they're so neurotic they called the podiatrist to make sure it would be ok to just buy him regular shoes somewhere or if they had to drive hours back home to get his orthotics. (He does not have a serious foot abnormality, hence why I think it was overkill.)

Last time we made one pot Mac n cheese. I let the girls pick the menu for the one dinner and breakfast we have to prepare on our own. I had planned on suggesting walking tacos. Guess not! In the past we've done spaghetti, as well.

All of Saturday is usually taken care of by a camp cook team in a mess hall. I do NOT cater to picky eaters there. Some of the troop leaders will contact the kitchen because one kid doesn't like strawberries. Look, that's probably not on the menu and it wasn't an allergy, just a dislike. One of our moms who is a professional chef once ran it for us and said never again because of what ***holes the adults were about their picky eaters. She absolutely accomodates to true allergies and vegetarians, but the gluten-free thing was very difficult and so are vegans. She told me that we should just be telling those kids that they need to bring their own food because you cannot mass prepare vegan/gluten free for 100+ people on the budget we have. But also the picky eaters were over the top.

[Cerina]

On 10/2/2023 at 11:28 AM, Hobbes said:

Based on the scenery, you must have been way out there if you were near Alamosa!  If you were where I think you are--that part is scary to me...hardly any cars, no towns, no cell service.  I had to drive through that area in a blizzard at night and it was probably the most scared I had ever been...if I had an accident I probably would died in one fashion or another.  

Were you near the sand dunes?

 

I wasn't there. They actually didn't allow parents. It was just the kids, one teacher per group, and their expedition guide. They actually had some seminars up there where the teacher guided them on group discussions about their experience and some poetry they introduced. 

It was very remote though. No cell service. No running water even. They had to treat their own water from natural springs and streams. 

Noah did say something about passing a sign that said something about Rio Grande Trail (or Pass or Something). 

[Darth Krawlie]

I dunno guys. You've got some shit going on, for sure, and I don't mean to belittle that at all.

But you can't even understand. A couple times a week, there's a 10 year old living in my house, who is FORCED AGAINST HER WILL to TAKE A SHOWER a few times a week. This level of hardship she has to suffer, I'm not sure anything your kids are going through comes anywhere close to comparing.

[Destiny Skywalker]

I'm so glad my kids still like showers/baths but Q is starting to get a little gnarly. She showers every night but forgets to wash her hair some nights. I am not looking forward to when E needs to start wearing deodorant.

Ok, any of you have experience with acne? Q is starting to get some on her forehead. What products should she use? I did not have acne so I am clueless on how to help her.

I think we are quitting Cub Scouts. E is just not into it and Webelos is so outdoor focused which is not his jam. Bears was fine because there was a lot of opportunity to be creative. And there's just too much talking at meetings. The adult leaders are so nice and so supportive, but its not his thing. He asked if he can keep selling popcorn, though. That has been his favorite thing to do in Cub Scouts. His pack is currently in the top 10 nationwide for sales and 2 of the boys are 7 and 8th nationwide (both are over $20k).

[Ms. Spam]

ARDs :LOL: I hate those. It's like we're the military and have to have letters for everything.

[Destiny Skywalker]

Q decided to run for Student Council at her school. Originally she was going to run for publicist or mascot. I told her that publicist was right up her alley. Then at the interest meeting there were a bunch of kids running for those positions so she decided to go big and run for Co-President. I love my kiddo and I think she'd make a killer Co-President, but these things are usually a popularity contest.

For those of you I'm Facebook friends with, go check out her campaign video. It's super hilarious and my husband and I had way too much fun last night doing the music editing and filming E, who is adorable and hilarious.

[Jacen123]

Our little guy has been around for a whole year now! I can barely believe it.

[Hobbes]

On 11/4/2023 at 9:53 AM, Jacen123 said:

Our little guy has been around for a whole year now! I can barely believe it.

Time flies man. 

[Jacen123]

It sure as hell does.  He has been walking for two weeks now. Not just taking a few tiny little steps, but full on walking.  Just a few minutes ago, he even realized I was play chasing him around the kitchen and he started running a bit while laughing.