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I think it's just biology. Our young take so long to raise, so we have to establish pair bonds for 15-20 years to raise the kid. I can't imagine being a single parent, I'm exhausted as is.

 

But...if you didn't want to have kids, yeah, why bother.

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Whoever is on the other side of the glory hole at the local 7/11.

Did you know it's possible to be married and NOT miserable? Not everyone's a stereotype.   Also sup foadi, diggin the dolan avatar.

Seth   Beyonce

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My wife.

Wanna give up *****? Get married.
In your experience, perhaps. This is by no means universal. But if you are the sort that can't stick with one person long term, give the ring a pass.

 

In answer to the question, all people I know personally. No celebs or anything like that.

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Jennifer Lawrence

Anna Kendrick

Emma Stone

Natalie Portman

Danielle Fishel

Brooklyn Decker

Zooey Deschanel

Hayden Panettiere

Blake Lively

Emma Watson

Jennifer Aniston

Kristen Bell

Lea Michele

Sara Jean Underwood

Kate Mara

Rory Gilmore (not sure about Alexis Bledel, but definitely Rory Gilmore)

 

A non-exhaustive list.

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Seriously why do guys get married? What's the upside? I really want to know.

Because after a certain point in life, everyone starts thinking you're either gay or the creepy old dude that couldn't find anyone. They may never say anything to your face, but they're saying it behind your back. Eventually it has a significant but subtle effect on your career when you're old and no one relates to you anymore because workplace small talk starts becoming largely about family sh-t, and acceptable social events beyond a certain age usually involve a family in some way. Biases are formed and people start judging you as "pathetic," which are subconscious feelings but they're pretty powerful. Less than 0.01% of men can actually pull off the distinguished old playboy image, and I'm pretty sure that's not you.

 

Women, of course, have it the same way (e.g. bitter old cat ladies, etc).

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Seriously why do guys get married? What's the upside? I really want to know.

Because after a certain point in life, everyone starts thinking you're either gay or the creepy old dude that couldn't find anyone. They may never say anything to your face, but they're saying it behind your back. Eventually it has a significant but subtle effect on your career when you're old and no one relates to you anymore because workplace small talk starts becoming largely about family sh-t, and acceptable social events beyond a certain age usually involve a family in some way. Biases are formed and people start judging you as "pathetic," which are subconscious feelings but they're pretty powerful. Less than 0.01% of men can actually pull off the distinguished old playboy image, and I'm pretty sure that's not you.

 

Women, of course, have it the same way (e.g. bitter old cat ladies, etc).

 

I totally get all of that. My last girlfriend assumed I was gay or before we became an item, and I feel judgement from married folk all of the time, but I'd rather be weird and single than married and miserable.

 

What's odd to me is that most people would rather be married and miserable. I don't get it.

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Seriously why do guys get married? What's the upside? I really want to know.

Because after a certain point in life, everyone starts thinking you're either gay or the creepy old dude that couldn't find anyone. They may never say anything to your face, but they're saying it behind your back. Eventually it has a significant but subtle effect on your career when you're old and no one relates to you anymore because workplace small talk starts becoming largely about family sh-t, and acceptable social events beyond a certain age usually involve a family in some way. Biases are formed and people start judging you as "pathetic," which are subconscious feelings but they're pretty powerful. Less than 0.01% of men can actually pull off the distinguished old playboy image, and I'm pretty sure that's not you.

 

Women, of course, have it the same way (e.g. bitter old cat ladies, etc).

 

I totally get all of that. My last girlfriend assumed I was gay or before we became an item, and I feel judgement from married folk all of the time, but I'd rather be weird and single than married and miserable.

 

What's odd to me is that most people would rather be married and miserable. I don't get it.

 

I wasn't saying it's impossible to be happy single, nor was I saying marriage is the right path for you. You asked for a reason why anyone would get married, and I gave one.

 

As far as why most people would rather be "married and miserable?" You're putting the cart before the horse. People obviously don't want misery. People act in self interest and only act in self interest. One thing I learned over life, is people only do what they want, no matter what made up bullsh-t they're telling you. If someone really wants to do something, they will find a way to make it happen or at least try to make it happen, even if there are foreseeable bad long-term consequences. Conversely, if someone doesn't want something, they won't do it. They will come up with all the excuses in the world why they didn't do X, but the only real reason is because they didn't want it, no matter what long term benefit it may have.

 

So people don't want misery. The problem is simply that while people are very good at knowing what they want in the immediate term, they are extremely bad at evaluating what they may want in 5, 10, 15 years or more. On top of that, people are extremely bad at being able to suffer an immediate, short term loss for a long-term gain. Third, people tend to be very bad at learning from previous mistakes (and on top of that, will get indignant if someone tries to point out those mistakes), so they end up doing the same things over and over, basically until death. You put those 3 things together, and viola- misery. It's honestly surprising more people aren't miserable.

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Well said.

 

While people certainly want to avoid misery, I think most people are so afraid of being alone that they would gladly be in a bad relationship just to avoid the stigma of being alone.

 

And yeah it's got a lot to do with people thinking about the present rather than the future. I always laugh when people who have bad marriages tell me never to get married, like it's some kind of big secret that they've blessed me with in between sob sessions.

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I think some people just rush into not only relationships, but marriages as well. I know a number of couples who either moved in together or got married as if there was some sense of urgency, and it ended badly in each case.

People seem to latch on to one or a few things and immaturely think they're "meant" to be, and can't seem to see the bigger picture. You can't realistically know if you can live with someone or spend the rest of your life with them until you've seen how they react and adapt to changes.

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