Guest El Chalupacabra Posted August 12, 2015 Share Posted August 12, 2015 Simply put, I think you have the right to date, or not date, someone based on your personal preference. And it really doesn't need to be any more complicated than that.Totally agree. That said, it's interesting to me that I feel guilty over rating some things as dealbreakers on otherwise highly attractive women (e.g. copious armpit hair), whereas I have taken pride in being icked out and full-on judging otherwise highly attractive women in tacky, oversized sunglasses who carry around those ridiculously overpriced handbags. I mean, with the pit hair, I'm not judging the person as a bad human being, I just found it unattractive -- and I somehow feel awash with guilt for this feeling. Yet I'm actually judging other people for their choices in attire and internally smug-patting myself over my clear superiority. Hypocritical, and there is surely some cultural thing going on: progressive, semi-hippy feminist chick is part of "my tribe" so don't judge her choices; rich bitch is clearly shallow and vapid and a sign of all that is wrong with this world. This isn't something I'm gonna change about myself, ofc, just a weird realization I came to over beverages and hairy underarms. Yeah, but I don't think you should feel guilty about any of it. When you first meet someone, you know nothing about them besides how they present themselves. So, if they present themselves in a way that is not attractive to you, don't date them. It doesn't excuse being an ass to them, or worse, dating them to get something out of them under false pretenses, though. Is that in of itself, shallow? Perhaps, because you aren't giving that person a chance to truly be known to you (like, the proverbial 6'10" punk rocker girl with a purple Mohawk with a heart of gold, who does pro bono work at the local children's cancer ward), but most people only have so much time, and cannot help but assume that the way people present themselves is how they want to advertise to the rest of the world how they really are. Also, not totally related, but I used to have a similar reaction about people who drive Hummers, Landrovers, Mercedes, or whatever status symbol car you want to cite. I never did do this to be sure, but I would sometimes want to key said vehicle, for no reason other than my perceived notion that they are some vapid shallow rich oppressor who embezzled the money out of some poor granny's 401K to buy it. I've since realized that I was wrong to assume that, but then again, how many does that actually apply to? It's not a totally invalid assumption! Make of that what you will.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DANA-kin Skywalker Posted August 12, 2015 Share Posted August 12, 2015 But what about being turned off to the point of "dealbreaker!" by traits that are (at least for the most part) personal choices? Specific clothing (fedora, religious garb)Smoking status (duh)Weight (shut up, people can control this to at least some extent)Not shaving armpits/legs (primarily women ofc)Tattoos and piercings (is it sexy or is it "self-mutilation")Unnatural hair coloring (personal statement or a cry for attention?)Being over X age and not "dressing like a grownup" (primarily men; I'm sure there's a better term for this)Doesn't bother me one bit. However, I wouldn't have met my wife if she was always covered head to toe in a burka because you can't see what's going on underneath. Deal breaker. It's the smell. I'm sorry smokers. Only the polar extremes (morbid obesity/unhealthily skinny) here would count as deal breakers for me. Heavy women can be beautiful.Hairy armpits makes me think of a manly body. Deal breaker. Not a fan of either of these, but not a deal breaker. Hair color doesn't matter much to me, but if done right and "works", it can be a plus. A pink streak can look great. I don't like frumpy dress. Not a deal breaker though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Driver Posted August 12, 2015 Share Posted August 12, 2015 Man what's with all the tattoo haters Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth Krawlie Posted August 12, 2015 Share Posted August 12, 2015 The pendulum is swinging back the other way considering virtually everyone has tattoos now. They're not unique anymore and haven't been in a long time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth Krawlie Posted August 12, 2015 Share Posted August 12, 2015 Also, not totally related, but I used to have a similar reaction about people who drive Hummers, Landrovers, Mercedes, or whatever status symbol car you want to cite. What's the difference between these cars and a porcupine? On a porcupine, the pricks are on the outside. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Driver Posted August 12, 2015 Share Posted August 12, 2015 The pendulum is swinging back the other way considering virtually everyone has tattoos now. They're not unique anymore and haven't been in a long time.It's not the uniqueness, I just think a girl with a lot of tattoos is super hot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
monkeygirl Posted August 12, 2015 Share Posted August 12, 2015 Plus, normal in America now. I don't know many who don't have a t least one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cerina Posted August 12, 2015 Share Posted August 12, 2015 I don't have any!! Nor piercings. Fear of needles though. Not really a stance on their merit or anything. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Destiny Skywalker Posted August 13, 2015 Share Posted August 13, 2015 I don't have any tattoos. Pierced ears, though. We spent more on my Toyota SUV than my husband's Volvo, though. However, if we had gotten a Volvo SUV, definitely would've spent more than the Toyota... husband wants me to get a Tesla Model X next. I told him keep dreaming! He is a car guy, though. And out here, because there's a lot of well-paying tech jobs, there are a lot more nice cars than I saw back in say, Florida. But probably not as much as Southern California. But most here are probably paid off and not leased lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
monkeygirl Posted August 13, 2015 Share Posted August 13, 2015 okay. I'm probably just wrong again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 13, 2015 Share Posted August 13, 2015 No, it is increasingly normal, but I would not say standard. Plenty of people have neither, but a lot of people do. I recently read all of the Sherlock Holmes stories(the originals) and had that thought. Sherlock could tell a lot by a tattoo, now they're meaningless because "everybody" has one. Of course "everybody" typically means less than half of the appropriate age group, like when discussing how everybody in high school is having sex. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ms. Spam Posted August 13, 2015 Share Posted August 13, 2015 I do not have tattoos but I will say that there is good tattoos and then there is ****ty tattoos you get when drunk or a NBA basketball player. I personally like certain tattoos along the lines of a type of traditional style. There's a lady who works at Macy's as display set up lady who has tattoos that are a set of sleeves on her arms depicting a traditional Japanese koi garden scene with koi and ponds and a lady in a flowing robe on a bridge with a pagoda. It gorgeous work.Tribal tattoos, biblical verses and cartoon characters fall into sheeple choices and are crap. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Destiny Skywalker Posted August 13, 2015 Share Posted August 13, 2015 I think it's more that I can't think of any symbol that I would want to put on my body and leave it there for 60 years. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DANA-kin Skywalker Posted August 13, 2015 Share Posted August 13, 2015 Kids names are super popular these days. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Driver Posted August 14, 2015 Share Posted August 14, 2015 I think it's more that I can't think of any symbol that I would want to put on my body and leave it there for 60 years.Hence me covering up my bad tribal bands (I got them in the 90s, forgive me) with new, much better artwork. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ms. Spam Posted August 14, 2015 Share Posted August 14, 2015 There is also the semi colon thing that has been popular. My sister used to be a stripper so she has a tramp stamp with flowers and roses. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cerina Posted August 14, 2015 Share Posted August 14, 2015 When I was younger I figured if I ever got over the fear, I'd get a cherry tattoo on my hip or somewhere discreet. My first name means cherry, but it's like the international symbol of skank. So that's out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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