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Thanksgiving Arguments -- A Really Big Deal?


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So, I've been reading articles about how to prepare (and win!) arguments against your conservative relatives, or what to do when your insane right-wing uncle shows up at Thanksgiving dinner. I've also been following a lot of conversations threads from progressive people on how they are dreading the inevitable "racist comments" or "Fox News Talking Points" they're going to be exposed to by their ****ty, stupid, no good relatives tomorrow.

 

It all has me shaking my head. Is this really a big deal for people?

 

Is it?

 

If it is, you are an embarrassment. If you so narcissistic and emotionally fragile that being around people who aren't like you for a few hours out of the year is going to ruin your day, you are unbelievably blessed and should immediately drop to your knees and thank Jesus for the extreme level of comfort and shelter you have obviously been afforded your entire life.

 

I also have a suggestion for you: don't go.

 

If your family is so obnoxious and ignorant that your feelers want to die, yet you still go, you deserve no sympathy. Don't drag yourself there, grit your teeth the entire time, and make snotty, passive-aggressive tweets about your family between bites of pumpkin pie. Grow a spine and go it alone. There is no law saying you have to go to Thanksgiving dinner with the family, is there? Meet up with some like-minded friends so you can be with people like yourself 100% of the year! If you have no friends (a distinct possibility!), cook something up for yourself. Be brave! Take a stand!

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Some of my extended family likes to talk politics, but even the crazy uncle isn't that crazy, and he knows he's a little out there. I usually tell them I'm not joining in no matter the topic, and usually that's the end of it.

Just my experience, but nipping it in the bud like that keeps things from getting out of hand every time.

 

I tend to ignore political stuff and hope it goes away, but if somebody pushes the issue and tries to drag me in, I do what you described.

 

 

 

EDIT: oh crap, I just thought of a few times I had to correct somebody. I really try to avoid that unless it's a super egregious and factually incorrect comment, though.

 

:eek:

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All of the obnoxious crazies and opinionated relatives I have contact with are will to my left. Which says something, since I'm not exactly Rush Limbaugh over here. I wonder if the techniques that work against that crazy conservative uncle could also work on your lunatic liberal brother?

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I enjoy it sometimes. It adds animation to my family get to togethers as they are mostly very boring white people. It's really illuminating to me where I come from and makes me think about my choices from a psychological side. "Am I who I chose to be because I am railing against this white bread upbringing?" is something I always think about on the drive back home.

 

Mostly we play cards and tell stories though. Thanksgiving isn't so anxiety ridden.

 

This year my Thanksgiving is going to be weird though. I had inservice and so I can't really go home for the holiday because there is not enough time to go and be back in time for school on Monday. I am going to a friends house in Cedar Park on the actual day who is very GOP and we've just agreed not to talk politics (But I'm pretty sure it may come up because two of the people attending are my ex's parents and they're deaf and stupid). I wish I could go to my brothers in Wimberly instead but he's going to his wife's parents house and I have some cousins but they're going on vacation. I think Obama will come up and pretty sure Ferguson will come up because I lunched with my exs parents on Sunday and they brought those two subjects up immediately with opinions that are left leaning. Since my friends house is very proGOP there will hopefully *fingers crossed* be some fireworks over looters and black people. All things we can be thankful for because we are one of the lucky few who live in safe areas where cops rarely intimidate us and are eating a meal actually bought with our own money at a grocery store so clearly we have perspective on black people who get food stamp and home assistance and drive cars bought at places where you pay weekly and work jobs that make you stay out late at night so you can be pulled over.

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My family is the Fox News talking points type. But our family get-togethers rarely reflect on politics, or if they do on rare occasion, I don't get dragged into it.

 

I'm with Spam. I'm still fairly conservative in some respects, but my family thinks I'm a raging commie hippie granola liberal.

 

This year we're spending Thanksgiving with my conservative MIL (who loves to talk politics) and her new liberal husband. This should be fun! But it's my fault, I invited them. Maybe I'll get some free babysitting.

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Some people are fucked up. Some people have impossible situations and some vile people they maybe must spend the day with. Complicated family obligations. It's not that easy for everyone and not everyone can opt out.

 

Me, I'm working. Eat some pie and have a nice day.

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It's not that easy for everyone and not everyone can opt out.

If your family is truly vile, it should be an easy choice no matter how tasty the mashed potatoes. Unless you are a child or a dependent, you have the option of opting out. Don't be weak!
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My family is the Fox News talking points type. But our family get-togethers rarely reflect on politics, or if they do on rare occasion, I don't get dragged into it.

 

I'm with Spam. I'm still fairly conservative in some respects, but my family thinks I'm a raging commie hippie granola liberal.

 

 

This is my family as well. They don't talk about things in front of me anymore. As a teenager I was pretty brutal about pointing out their lack of logic. Made my stepmother cry once. So now they just leave me out of it.

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Guest El Chalupacabra

I've been fortunate. Never had any real Turkey day arguments, political or otherwise, except one time I was in an argument with my brother over the merits of the movie JFK. He's a card-carrying black helicopter, hanger 18, chem trails, moon landing was faked, Dick Cheney is a Sith Lord Bond supervillain, Haliburton owns the world, 9/11 was an inside job, Obama is a clone sent by the reptilian aliens to take our guns away and force us into pods like the Matrix, Bilderberger conspiracy theorist. It made my head hurt.

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He's a card-carrying black helicopter, hanger 18, chem trails, moon landing was faked, Dick Cheney is a Sith Lord Bond supervillain, Haliburton owns the world, 9/11 was an inside job, Obama is a clone sent by the reptilian aliens to take our guns away and force us into pods like the Matrix, Bilderberger conspiracy theorist.

That sounds amazing!
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I kind of long for it.

 

When I was younger, my uncle, father, brother and myself would hunker down over half a brewery's worth of booze and have at it. My uncle and father were fans of South African apartheid. My brother and myself were communists. For real. I actually had the hammer and sickle on my bedroom wall. Yet there was always a certain chivalry about it - the "debates" were kind of like heavy weight boxing matches: protracted and brutal, but ultimately more for sport than a source of actual animosity. We were a pretty tight quartet until my father died.

 

Today is a pretty stark contrast. My family AND my in laws are generally center-left, except my brother who's still quite radical. My wife gets all angsty and jealous when my mom, my brother and I get into political or really any kind of engaging conversation. She doesn't really care about anything other than whether or not the children in her world have all had enough to eat, and intellectually heavy stuff intimidates her. Plus she gets competitive for my attention. Give her a few glasses of wine on top of that and I know I'm in for a long and exhausting night.

 

I love my in-laws, but absolutely DREAD family get togethers with them. Watching them prepare and serve food, I wonder if they could organize a piss up in a brewery. While the men, at least, are politically opinionated, any kind of engaging conversation about anything is strenuously discouraged. My mother in law confided in me once that there was a lot of arguing at her dinner table growing up, and that put her off intense discussion. All of the time is spent posing for pictures and trying to figure out who sits where until the food gets cold. The children are better now that they're getting older, but not so long ago were a total nightmare. They'd get whiny and stage meltdowns and make scenes. It's like being in an intellectual and emotional sensory deprivation chamber. When it's all done, I can't hit the keyboard to start trolling the first conservative or feminist blog comments section I can find fast enough. I get banned from one every holiday.

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Guest El Chalupacabra

 

He's a card-carrying black helicopter, hanger 18, chem trails, moon landing was faked, Dick Cheney is a Sith Lord Bond supervillain, Haliburton owns the world, 9/11 was an inside job, Obama is a clone sent by the reptilian aliens to take our guns away and force us into pods like the Matrix, Bilderberger conspiracy theorist.

That sounds amazing!

 

It sounds like it, but really, it's not. I chalk it up to all the chronic pot he has smoked. I'm serious, he is a total wake and baker. Discussing politics with my brother is like this scene in Easy Rider...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZOaDytJXIrE

 

Oh man, when that movie Loose Change came out, I think he probably had that on at his house on a continual loop for a month. He kept going on about how the only way to explain the Pentagon was that it was a missile strike because no camera actually captured a plane at all.

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Its real simple to avoid conflict at Thanksgiving for my family. The head family matriarch sets the rules. Here were the rules this year.

 

1. Cannot mention the Ferguson situation

 

2. Cannot speak of politics or mention Obama.

 

3. No cussing

 

4. No mention of Ebola

 

5. No farting or burping inside the house.

 

6. No feeding the dogs at the table.

 

7. All cell phones are off and put in box that will be secretly stored until after dinner.

 

8. Everyone clears their place.

 

9. All males clean up after dinner.

 

10. Do not bring old issues or grudges.

 

These are posted at the door, and at the table.

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Jesus. Why would ebola be a topic of discussion during a meal? Not even the crazies will broach that subject.

 

No Obama but Ferguson came up. It was pretty tame.

 

The real fun happened when were going to pile into some cars and go out and see a house that one of the guests had been waiting to be built and they will close on in December. We all went out and the car that my deaf ex's parents drove up from San Antonio had a flat tire. So we spent about an hour talking about taking the tire somewhere, but it's Thanksgiving, but why can't we spend the night, the spare was flat and backing the car up the drive to fill the spare flat a Mercedes was backed into. This was after my ex's parents begged everyone for gas money to get home because they didn't have enough gas to drive back on.

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Its real simple to avoid conflict at Thanksgiving for my family. The head family matriarch sets the rules. Here were the rules this year.

 

1. Cannot mention the Ferguson situation

 

2. Cannot speak of politics or mention Obama.

 

3. No cussing

 

4. No mention of Ebola

 

5. No farting or burping inside the house.

 

6. No feeding the dogs at the table.

 

7. All cell phones are off and put in box that will be secretly stored until after dinner.

 

8. Everyone clears their place.

 

9. All males clean up after dinner.

 

10. Do not bring old issues or grudges.

 

These are posted at the door, and at the table.

your family is awesome. I'm doing holidays at your house.

 

Actually, it hasn't gone too bad. New stepdaddy has only made a few comments that are absolutely true but unnecessary. But tomorrow we're going to see more family, and they're a little rowdier.

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Its real simple to avoid conflict at Thanksgiving for my family. The head family matriarch sets the rules. Here were the rules this year.

 

1. Cannot mention the Ferguson situation

 

2. Cannot speak of politics or mention Obama.

 

3. No cussing

 

4. No mention of Ebola

 

5. No farting or burping inside the house.

 

6. No feeding the dogs at the table.

 

7. All cell phones are off and put in box that will be secretly stored until after dinner.

 

8. Everyone clears their place.

 

9. All males clean up after dinner.

 

10. Do not bring old issues or grudges.

 

These are posted at the door, and at the table.

And I thought my in laws were stiff. Yikes!

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It keeps the peace.

In theory--yes, but you know there's always the self-centered ass who must force his political grievances on everyone else, no matter how many times you say, "I do not give a damn" about anything hot.

 

It is better to avoid inviting people like that, as self control is not their concern.

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