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  • 1 month later...

We're still waiting to hear from the Jokers on if they'll be back for the 10th season.


Keeper deadline has been set for Friday July 17 at 12am EST (which is to say midnight the night of the 16th).


The draft will kick off on July 30th at 8pm EST.


For reference

1. Ash's Ruff Puppies

2. Pewter City Machamps

3. Dexy's Midnight Haters

4. Irish Micks

5. Kemah Jokers

6. The Nightmares

7. UKLK's Vikings

8. Aussie Kangaroos

9. Rock's Heels

10. Team Carr



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I almost posed this same question on FB last night. Sort of an 11th hour situation, now, but something's gotta give.


Choc doesn't do fantasy, does he? Doesn't Tex, though? (A suggestion I never thought I'd have to make, btw.) What about dusting off Gamevet? Unearthing Prim?!? We could perhaps turn to our sister league and approach Spam or [edited so Rock won't blow a gasket]? Just spit-balling at the moment..though it seems we've had this conversation in one form or another for years, now...

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I'm against waiting a week on the draft simply because one owner has his head up his ass.


The day before the keeper deadline I found out I have life threateningly high blood pressure. Like ... drop dead at any moment high. I was freaking out and had to institute immediate and sweeping lifestyle changes.


And yet I managed to fit in setting my keepers. Sure I did it in an unconventional way because I couldn't remember or find my ESPN password, but I did it.


You either give a shit about this league or you don't. I'm just one vote but I think we should stop making exceptions for slackers. We don't have to be mean and call people names or shame people. Just not make allowances or exceptions.

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Ok, should we allow time for DI to get their person in and select 4 keepers from Matt's lineup or fair game and it's go time on the draft?


In the meantime I'll be over here warming up for my first pick by practicing my Tebowing

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  • 1 month later...




This year's NFF season kicks off in just under a week's time and excitement has already reached a temperature slightly below boiling point.


Last season's NFF champions Team Carr will begin the defence of their championship against the only other team to win back-to-back Uber Bowl titles, The Vikings. Team Carr start their season without what analysts on the NFF Network would call an 'Elite' quarterback, but their ownership seems unperturbed. Indeed their mix of skill and experience seems to back this confidence. Four top-ten wide receivers, plus a returning Victor Cruz, coupled with last year's leading rusher DeMarco Murray makes for a formidable offensive threat.


On the other hand The Vikings will be hoping that Drew Brees and Rob Gronkowski can forge a prolific partnership to make up for the loss of Arian Foster in the pre-season. Aging wide receivers Brandon Marshall and Vincent Jackson will be providing the experience to bring through rookie stars Odell Beckham Jr and Jordan Matthews.


Elsewhere the Haters are still playing their hands close to their chests, refusing to name their starting quarterback. Either Ryan Tannehill or Andy Dalton will lead the team out on opening day, wearing their divisive 1980's themed alternate uniforms, at the Micks. The Micks will be aiming to look past their opponents garish apparel and focusing on clearing up the hangover left after last week's epic 'Free Brady' party and aiming to find a replacement for Jordy Nelson after his pre-season injury.


After the Machamps missed the mandatory league deadline for registering their players they have gone into full rebuilding mode. This seems to be a regular situation for MaChamps fans, who have now renamed themselves 'The Wrecking Crew' and begun to wear full PPE when tailgating. They will entertain the Nightmares who welcome back now reformed child abuser Adrian Peterson. The Nightmares will release a two-headed dog on the league by combining Peterson with Jamaal Charles, hoping that this will help get them into the playoffs once more.


LeVeon Bell's suspension and Kelvin Benjamin's injury has put a massive downer on the start of the Puppie's season. Matt Ryan will be trawling through his roster and hoping that somebody puts their head above the parapet to catch some passes and score more TD's than last year. Rock and his Heels have put their faith in Peyton Manning's body holding out a little longer. They've even padded out their bench with rookies, perhaps hoping that some of their youth and vitality will rub off on him or perhaps as an easy source of organ donation..


Perennial Andy Dalton copycats, the Kangaroos, will be hoping to finally get through the playoffs and take the Uber Bowl to the outback. All eyes will be on Andrew Luck has he prepares to take the plunge but the rest of their roster remains as star-studded as ever. They should challenge for the IFC conference championship as the Australian public has become accustomed. The Jokers roster matches the Kangaroo's in the name department, with Beast Mode and LeSean McCoy continuing to provide the ground-and-pound alternative to Aaron Rodgers, Antonio Brown and Emmanuel Sanders's air attack. This match-up could be another of those record breaking contests that comes down to who can outscore the other.

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Team Carr and the Irish Micks have agreed to a trade which sends wideout Jeremy Maclin to the Micks in exchange for quarterback Matt Stafford and wide receiver John Brown.


Both owners, interviewed separately, laughed and made comments about what an obvious idiot the other is. Matthew Stafford, a 2 time keeper selection for Carr, rejoins the team after spending last season with the Nightmares. "It was awful, man," Stafford said. "I couldn't ****ing stand Cam Newton." Stafford quarterbacked Team Carr to an Uber Bowl title in 2013. His best moment came in throwing a game winning touchdown during the final minutes of Monday Night Football in the NFF Semi-Finals to go up 2 points (fortunately because he threw a garbage time interception moments later). "Yeah, I could have killed him," Carr said. "But it's great to have Matt back. We're looking forward to rolling with he and Cam this season." When reached for comment regarding the trade Cam Newton offered, "Oh not this ****ing guy again."



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Hello there kids!


It's time for the yearly STATS update. Info is current prior to the start of season TEN.


Only majorly noteworthy thing I came across is that the Kemah Jokers are now the highest scoring team in NFF history (on average), thanks to that historic campaign last year.


Oh and I have a laughably, seemingly unsustainably high, win percentage in the postseason of .800 (12-3).


See attached:

NFF Fantasy Stats OFFICIAL.doc

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