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NIGHTLY FOOTBALL FEDERATION - Season X!


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"WHAT'S GOING ON?! IS MATLOCK ON YET? THIS IS TOO COMPLICATED! WHERE'S MY PUDDING! I DON'T UNDERSTAND!"

I honestly don't know what to say about everything here.   I have not been around as much as I used to. I will completely cop to that. When the league started, I was single, working a BS job where I c

Notes from GSPN Stats & Info   - UKLK's Vikings coming through with the highest score of all-time, taking down the Aussie Kangaroos 159 point effort from Week 6 of 2007. It's the first 150+ point

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On November 17th, after Team Carr lost their 4th straight game to fall to 5-6 and on the precipice of missing the playoffs, owner Garrison Carr sat in his office dejected and curious if this was yet another year flushed down the drain by ill-timed injuries and a spate of bad luck.

 

“Through nine weeks we had the highest scoring team in the league, and we weren’t passed by the Jokers until week eleven,” Carr said. “It just wasn’t translating into wins like we hoped. I honestly wondered if it just wasn’t in our stars and we should blow it up.”

 

Now, less than a month removed, Carr is preparing his team for an NFF record 5th Uber Bowl berth and seeking to break a tie with UKLK’s Vikings for the most championships in league history.

 

Team Carr was able to take down the Aussie Kangaroos 110-94 in a spirited semi-final matchup that saw the Roos leading well into the day. Three plays keyed Team Carr’s “upset” of the IFC Champion Roos: Late in the second quarter of the Broncos game a C.J. Anderson touchdown was called back after video review; later in that game Demaryius Thomas broke loose for a 30 yard touchdown which represented half of his point total on the day. A touchdown against the Colts defense was also called back due to penalty.

 

“That DT TD…,” Carr said through an exhale. “I really thought we were headed for a loss until that play. Once he broke that one, that’s when I really thought we’d have shot.”

 

Team Carr’s victory was nearly cemented thanks to the production of Tony Romo and stalwart runningback DeMarco Murray, who combined for 46 points. After the game, Carr said he felt for Roos owner Bradley Watts.

 

“I do feel for Brad. He’s had some great teams and they’ve just not been able to get it done in the playoffs for whatever reason,” Carr said. “I’d be absolutely disconsolate.”

 

This loss dropped the Kangaroos to 3-8 (.273) all-time in the postseason – a stark contrast to their regular season record of 76-40-1 (.654), something Watts struggles to put into words.

 

“I really don’t get it,” the NFF’s Australian owner lamented. “We’ll be back next year… but this… this is hard.”

 

Team Carr will face Rock’s Heels in the Uber Bowl. The Heels were able to take down the greatest team in NFF history in the other semi-final matchup, the Jokers. The Jokers scored an NFF record 1,451 points this year, by far the highest total in league history. This week they were doomed by the duo that played such a huge role in getting them so far: Aaron Rodgers and Jordy Nelson. Jokers owner Geoff Snyder has been riding an emotional roller coaster all season and this week was just the latest valley.

 

“Weird year… Weird year,” Snyder mused. “Our luck was so miserable we won 6 freaking games. It’s hard to take inventory of this team because the record didn’t reflect how great it was. It’s okay. I’ll put our keeper core against anyone else in the league and be happy with the results.”

 

Team Carr and The Heels have met twice in NFF playoff history with Team Carr winning both match-ups. The first came in the 2010 playoffs with Team Carr winning 108-73. The second was an instant classic last year which ended in a 92-92 tie with Team Carr winning on total points scored.

 

In the 2013 game Team Carr quarterback Matthew Stafford threw a touchdown pass in the final 2:30 to give Team Carr their first lead of the day. One drive later however Stafford aired out an errant pass and was intercepted, dropping the game into a deadlock once more.

 

“That was by far the most stressed I’ve ever been during an NFF game,” Carr said. “In all the Uber Bowls, they were almost all blowouts. Nothing compared to that one.”

 

For every winner there is a loser however, and that loss cost the Heels dearly. Had they won that semi-final they would have walked in the Uber Bowl against the Nightmares.

 

“Yeah… that blew,” offered Heels owner Rock Ledoux. “We feel like one got away from us, but now we’re back. Reap the whirlwind.”

 

Despite the huge advantage Team Carr has on paper, winning 12 of 15 weeks against Rock’s Heels this season, many experts expect the actual game to be much closer. Carr’s star runningback DeMarco Murray is doubtful to play after suffering a broken hand against the Roos. His backup, Alfred Morris is also hobbled by a groin injury. An MRI on T.Y. Hilton’s hamstring came back negative but he will likely be limited in practice this week. And of course, Carr quarterback Tony Romo is playing with two fractured vertebrae.

 

“At this point in the year, everyone is hurt,” Carr said. “It’s just something you’ve got to deal with. We feel like we have a deep team, we’ll fight through it.”

 

Two games loom large in deciding the Uber Bowl: Dallas vs. Indianapolis with 4 participants between the teams and Denver vs. Cincinnati which also sports 4 Uber Bowl participants."

 

“Cheering against Peyton Manning in a night game,” Carr said. “What could possibly go wrong?”

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"That blew?"

Understatement.

 

Rockello Creed: Now, when you beat me, you beat me by one... ONE... tie-breaker. Now do you know what something like that does to a man of my intelligence?

Garrison Balboa: I thought you said you got over it.

Rockello Creed: I lied.

 

Garrison Balboa: Oh, you lied!!!!!!!

 

Rockello Creed: You know, Garr? It's too bad we gotta get old, huh?

Garrison Balboa: Ah, just keep punchin', Rockello... you want to ring the bell?

Rockello Creed: Alright... Ding Ding!

 

dingding.jpg

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All that work just to ship it to me? Do you want my address now or later?

I forgot you were even a factor in this. I, along with the rest of the league, already assume I've won this so I'm just trying to be efficient.

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Who is it you're relying on to take down Team Carr this week?

 

38 year old, injury-waiting-to-happen QB with a fivehead?

 

Guy no one knew was still in the league until halfway through the season?

 

Tell you what, if this were 5 years ago, I'd be absolutely terrified of Roddy White and Antonio Gates, so at least you've got that going for you!

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Who is it you're relying on to take down Team Carr this week?

My combined unit of dedicated warriors working as a cohesive unit, all with the goal of destroying your rag-band group of roques.

 

Mostly, I'm waiting for your pathetic team to implode. With the game on the line, I figure that all I need is about 80 points, which is 10 points more than needed. Your boys are going down and I can't help you. Not this time. You're our 12th man.

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Katy Perry Challenge

 

In honor of KP performing at the Superbowl, I propose a penalty for the losing team.

 

Loser has to record them self singing alongside the Katy Perry song of their choice and post it publicly on Youtube.

 

What say you, Carr? Got the gumption?

 

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I notice how he waited until T.Y. Hilton missed practice all week and Demarco Murray broke his hand to make this bet...

You assume that I actually know what I'm doing.

 

Accept the KP Challenge or you're yellow. You still owe me for the can of worms you promised to eat if the NCAA Gators won their second consecutive basketball championship.

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