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Who is it you're relying on to take down Team Carr this week?


38 year old, injury-waiting-to-happen QB with a fivehead?


Guy no one knew was still in the league until halfway through the season?


Tell you what, if this were 5 years ago, I'd be absolutely terrified of Roddy White and Antonio Gates, so at least you've got that going for you!

You yourself said you have no Heel to fear, so accept the KP Challenge! DON'T BE YELLOW!

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We'll be sweating this one out. An average game from Manning/Green nets you 40 points... which is what you're trailing by. I think it will take 95/96 points to win, I'm going to need DT to put in some work. I'm preparing for the worst. I'm just glad I have Thomas so that there's at least some chance that if Manning goes bonkers some of it comes Thomas' way to mitigate the damage.

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Tony Romo celebrates Team Carr championship by dumping Gatorade on Team Carr owner G. Carr


As most of the recently crowned Uber Bowl champions from Team Carr began to head to the locker room, one player remained on the field pacing to and from with an almost giddy pep in his step, speaking to everyone he could, only stopping to occasionally smile and shake his head in disbelief.


“I just wanted to take it all in,” said Uber Bowl MVP Tony Romo through an enormous grin. “I mean what a great experience. I’ve never experienced a feeling like this.”


Romo’s 34 points matched the eventual winning deficit for Team Carr as they defeated Rock’s Heels 96-62 in Uber Bowl IX. Romo was flawless in the game completing 18 of 20 passes for 218 yards and 4 touchdowns. He was the clear choice for MVP, with no other player scoring more than Antonio Gates’ 21 points.


Rock’s Heels got off to a great start with Antonio Gates opening up scoring early with his huge tally. The early deficit was certainly enough to worry Team Carr owner Garrison Carr.


“For about the 19th time in the last month and a half, I thought were toast,” Carr said. “Jimmy Graham hasn’t put up a huge week like that for some time so when Gates exploded for 21, I thought that might be pivotal.”


Jimmy Graham and Randall Cobb were able to mitigate most of that damage with 22 points of their own, thanks to the Heels other skill position players totaling only 10 points between them. DeMarco Murray chipped in with 11 points despite playing a mere six days after having surgery in his left hand.


“I absolutely can’t say enough about DeMarco,” Carr said. “He’s been our best player all year by far, and it looked like he wasn’t going to be able to go in the biggest game of the year, but he fought through it and gave us a phenomenal effort.”


Murray wasn’t the only member of Team Carr playing through pain. Tony Romo was diagnosed with two fractured vertebrae suffered in a week eight game and the initial diagnosis was that he would miss extended time. He missed only one game and managed to helm Team Carr during the season saving two wins to end the year.


“I’m so proud of, and happy for, Tony,” Carr said with a smile on his face. “He gets so much crap, but he’s really a tremendous QB. He’s persevered through severe pain and he’s the reason we were in the Uber Bowl, and he’s the reason we won it.”


Romo averaged close to 30 points during the playoffs and he saved his best for when the lights were brightest.


“I’m just so… happy,” Romo would say after the game. “It’s no secret that I’ve had my ups and downs, but this is a permanent “up.” No one can ever take away this moment.”


Romo isn’t the only Uber Bowl MVP on Team Carr’s Roster. Steven Jackson, in his incredible ninth year on Team Carr, was the MVP of the very first Uber Bowl; and he can attest that no one can ever take away an Uber Bowl championship.


“I don’t think we can overstate how happy we are for Tony,” Jackson said. “I remember those 37 points I scored in the first Uber Bowl like it was yesterday… and you better believe I’ll remind tony that I had more points than he did in our MVP performances!”


Jackson was the first draft pick in Team Carr history and has somewhat improbably been on Team Carr’s roster every season since. After being kept the first seven offseasons, Carr drafted Jackson each of the last two. Jackson cherishes each and every moment he has on Team Carr because he knows it could end at any time.


“Man, I’m a backup now, I know that. But I love this city, and I love this team every bit as much as the day I was first drafted 9 years ago,” Jackson said. “I came in with Marvin, Peyton, and Larry Fitz. Those are three absolutely all-time greats and for me to be the one that’s still in Indy… I know how fortunate I am.”


Long-time Team Carr quarterback Peyton Manning was the first person owner Garrison Carr sought out after the final whistle.


“I just told him…” Carr began, taking a deep breath before continuing. “Gosh. I’m never not going to be emotional when I talk about Peyton. I just told him he had a great season and I hope he gets back to the top before he hangs it up. What a great, great player he is. I have so much appreciation for all that he did for us.”


After spending most of his time with reporters gushing about current and former players, Carr eventually returned to his signature bravado (or brashness, depending on your view).


“You’re damn right Indy is the new Title Town, USA,” Carr exclaimed. “3 NFF titles and 2 runner-ups in 9 seasons; 3 NBF titles and 1 runner-up in 6 seasons. It speaks for itself.


However cocky, Carr has a point; Team Carr has brought home three championships in the last 12 months. When asked what was next, Carr had an answer ready.


“A three-peat would be nice,” he said. “We had the opportunity to accomplish that in the NBF and came up just short. The Vikings beat me to a repeat in the NFF, so I’d like to be the first to manage a three-peat’er.”


When asked if he would go as far as to guarantee a championship next season to ensure that three-peat as he did prior to the inaugural NBF season, Carr laughed before offering his response.


“Man, you guys think you can get me to say anything don’t you?” he said. “The NFF has some great teams. Guys like the Jokers and Nightmares have great keepers. The Puppies and Machamps are getting better every year. It’s hard to win a championship. It’s extremely hard to win back-to-back championships. It’s damn near impossible to win back-to-back-to-back championships… and you better believe we're gonna do it!”


As Carr began to leave the podium he paused before sitting back down at the mic.


“I’ve just got one more thing left to say,” Carr deadpanned. “Ex better mail me that damn trophy.”



Tony Romo celebrates after his 4th touchdown pass of the evening against the Heels


Team Carr superfan Chris Pratt deliriously celebrating the championship until the early hours of the morning with almost no one remaining in the stadium

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Well, he did verbally commit to Philly, but then backed out of it when the time came. It seems Philly thought Gore could replace McCoy, but that they'll need both Ryan Mathews and DeMarco Murray to replace Gore. Maybe they plan to play one of them at QB when Bradford gets hurt for the year on the season's opening snap.

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