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Questions you are scared to ask.


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What are the questions you are afraid to get judged for afraid they may be taken the wrong way?  Feel free to answer.

1.  How do so many gay males use the gay male speech dialect when they are from areas that the dialect is rare or even heavily prejudiced against?

2.  What is to stop men from taking advantage of trans-women competing in female sports? 

Right now, I don't think this is happening, but what if there becomes a huge financial gain to do so? For example, a college male going for the women's team to get a scholarship he may not have qualified for on the men's team.

3.  Why do some Indian men wear business casual clothes to the gym?

4.  How do you navigate different in-groups perceptions of bias? 

I worked in a school that was predominantly Hispanic.  In trying to be inclusive in my communication, I used the term Latinx.  The overwhelming majority of the Hispanic families hated the term.  When I switched my communication to Latina and Latino, which was appreciated by the community, I brought this back to my grad school professors and higher ups in the district (most had higher degrees) I was accused of not being inclusive. 

 

 

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Number 2 does and has been happening. Hear of Lia Thomas? Average male swimmer who became a woman and absolutely decimated the women and won several titles.  

And there are two trans women currently competing in MMA (Fallon Fox and Alana McLaughlin) who have obvious physical advantages over their biologically female competitors. Needless to say they've had some controversial knock outs and bouts.

So the sport thing is absolutely an issue

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On 3/29/2024 at 10:25 AM, Hobbes said:

4.  How do you navigate different in-groups perceptions of bias? 

I worked in a school that was predominantly Hispanic.  In trying to be inclusive in my communication, I used the term Latinx.  The overwhelming majority of the Hispanic families hated the term.  When I switched my communication to Latina and Latino, which was appreciated by the community, I brought this back to my grad school professors and higher ups in the district (most had higher degrees) I was accused of not being inclusive. 

Is Latinx just supposed to be a gender-inclusive term? Quite frankly, I think the community gets to decide what they want to be called, not someone outside of it. It's like the autistic vs "has autism" debate. It seems like many in the autism community have embraced being called autistic instead of using people first language that many in the disability advocacy community are trying to push. (On a related note, now it feels like I can't say disability or disabled anymore. "Differently abled" feels kind of pedantic to me.) Many autistic people have embraced it has part of their identity, as opposed to the advocacy community that says you shouldn't let a disability define someone.

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On 3/29/2024 at 2:43 PM, Odine said:

Number 2 does and has been happening. Hear of Lia Thomas? Average male swimmer who became a woman and absolutely decimated the women and won several titles.  

And there are two trans women currently competing in MMA (Fallon Fox and Alana McLaughlin) who have obvious physical advantages over their biologically female competitors. Needless to say they've had some controversial knock outs and bouts.

So the sport thing is absolutely an issue

Interesting.

Should trans athletes have their own division?

1 hour ago, Destiny Skywalker said:

Is Latinx just supposed to be a gender-inclusive term? Quite frankly, I think the community gets to decide what they want to be called, not someone outside of it. It's like the autistic vs "has autism" debate. It seems like many in the autism community have embraced being called autistic instead of using people first language that many in the disability advocacy community are trying to push. (On a related note, now it feels like I can't say disability or disabled anymore. "Differently abled" feels kind of pedantic to me.) Many autistic people have embraced it has part of their identity, as opposed to the advocacy community that says you shouldn't let a disability define someone.

Yeah, I have heard this before.  I was always taught people first language.  For example, students in special education vs special education (sped students). 

I think a lot of the hyper-acceptance language come from higher ed--not the communities.  My dad has MS and is in a wheelchair and hates differently abled with a passion.  He's like..."I am UNABLE to fucking walk--I need to know if places have ramps".

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1 hour ago, Hobbes said:

Interesting.

Should trans athletes have their own division?

 

I reckon so. Or there needs to be an open division in sports where if women want to compete against men and trans women it's all good. Like a free for all category.

But women shouldn't have their competitive sports careers jepordized by what is in essence biological men who identify as women coming into their category and dominating the field. It's super unfair. 

Traditionally I think the only sport that doesn't have age/gender restrictions is certain equestrian events. (I think maybe jumping and cross country).  Its the only sport where a teenaged girl can out perform an adult man because its down to riding skill not strength, muscle, lung capacity etc. Also it's one of the few sports where being smaller and lighter is an advantage 

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8 hours ago, Odine said:

I reckon so. Or there needs to be an open division in sports where if women want to compete against men and trans women it's all good. Like a free for all category.

But women shouldn't have their competitive sports careers jepordized by what is in essence biological men who identify as women coming into their category and dominating the field. It's super unfair. 

Traditionally I think the only sport that doesn't have age/gender restrictions is certain equestrian events. (I think maybe jumping and cross country).  Its the only sport where a teenaged girl can out perform an adult man because its down to riding skill not strength, muscle, lung capacity etc. Also it's one of the few sports where being smaller and lighter is an advantage 

As far as I know, all the major leagues here in America (NBA, NFL, NHL, etc) annd the NCAA are open to everyone.   Manon Rheaume played in an exhibition game in the NHL. and I remember a woman tried out for the NFL in 2013.  I think teams were also interested in Carli Lloyd a few years back.  Olivia Pichardo played NCAA D1 baseball and plays in the minors.

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lol. I just crapped all over this with my gay guy story in the other thread. 
 

my school is also 79% Hispanic but it’s weird. Most of my students don’t know any Spanish at all. 
 

for the sports question it’s a bigger problem I think in collegiate and amateur or professional sports. Until everything is just treated equally it’s probably going to be a huge problem.  Capitalism holds the status quo so you see women making it into coaching or offices of major league teams but never a fully integrated sports team with 50 50 women to men taking the field. 

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On 3/29/2024 at 10:25 AM, Hobbes said:

What are the questions you are afraid to get judged for afraid they may be taken the wrong way?  Feel free to answer.

1.  How do so many gay males use the gay male speech dialect when they are from areas that the dialect is rare or even heavily prejudiced against?

2.  What is to stop men from taking advantage of trans-women competing in female sports? 

Right now, I don't think this is happening, but what if there becomes a huge financial gain to do so? For example, a college male going for the women's team to get a scholarship he may not have qualified for on the men's team.

3.  Why do some Indian men wear business casual clothes to the gym?

4.  How do you navigate different in-groups perceptions of bias? 

I worked in a school that was predominantly Hispanic.  In trying to be inclusive in my communication, I used the term Latinx.  The overwhelming majority of the Hispanic families hated the term.  When I switched my communication to Latina and Latino, which was appreciated by the community, I brought this back to my grad school professors and higher ups in the district (most had higher degrees) I was accused of not being inclusive. 

 

 

1.  How do so many gay males use the gay male speech dialect when they are from areas that the dialect is rare or even heavily prejudiced against?

Its roots come from young boys feeling drawn to feminine role models and subconsciously effecting their voices. Once you get past the 50s, it started to show up in pop culture. It was always played as a joke in the 50s/60s, but there were icons in the 70s like Paul Lynn or JM J Bullock who were never straight out called gay, but coded as fuck. Once it hits pop culture it becomes an echo chamber. In straight spaces, where it may not be safe  to be out, it could also be a form of signaling.

2.  What is to stop men from taking advantage of trans-women competing in female sports? 

I hate this argument. I know YOU just posing it as a question, and not making the trans-phone argument, but this is a thing TERFs cling to as it is the only semi-legit way to attack trans people without coming off as an obvious transphobe. As a not-sports person my primary response is-- who cares? We're arguing about people's human rights and safety and a huge chunk of people can only respond by saying BUT SPORTS!

There's less than a dozen cases of trans athletes facing adversity out there, across all sports on the planet. Maybe the answer is an open division, but we're decades away from that having any strength. Compare the dollar amount between the NBA and the WNBA and it's not even close.

As for the LatinX thing-- if there's one thing I've learned living in LA, it's that minorities are often considered to be liberal democrats because traditionally, that's who fights for equal rights. But in reality, Hispanic and African American cultures are super conservative when you go as near back as baby boomers. They both have a heavy history of religion as it one of the few ways they could have a sense of community outside everyday (racist) life.

I think Boomer hispanics, and any Gen-Xers that are not liberal, will resist new fangled terminology associated with woke folk. It's the younger generations that champion it, so the reactions you're talking about make total sense to me.

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That's a pretty reductive argument. Shouting "transphobe" at anyone who aknowleges basic biological differences between men and women and how that gives an unfair advantage in competitive sports isn't going to win any argument. Who cares?- women who are having their records and titles beaten by someone who is physiologically male do. And that is justified, not transphobic. 

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It’s not MY argument, but it’s one out there. Well, the not caring about the handful of trans athletes is me, but I get what you’re saying.

My bigger point is that people who ARE transphobic will use this as their core argument to politicize anti-trans legislation across the board because it is one of the few legit arguments out there.

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That is also true, and sport shouldn't be used as a foundation for broad anti trans legislation.   

But I don't believe we should ignore the basic physiological distinctions between sexes in the name of inclusivity. It's throwing the baby out with the bathwater so to speak. 

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On 4/2/2024 at 5:50 PM, Tank said:

1.  How do so many gay males use the gay male speech dialect when they are from areas that the dialect is rare or even heavily prejudiced against?

Its roots come from young boys feeling drawn to feminine role models and subconsciously effecting their voices. Once you get past the 50s, it started to show up in pop culture. It was always played as a joke in the 50s/60s, but there were icons in the 70s like Paul Lynn or JM J Bullock who were never straight out called gay, but coded as fuck. Once it hits pop culture it becomes an echo chamber. In straight spaces, where it may not be safe  to be out, it could also be a form of signaling.

2.  What is to stop men from taking advantage of trans-women competing in female sports? 

I hate this argument. I know YOU just posing it as a question, and not making the trans-phone argument, but this is a thing TERFs cling to as it is the only semi-legit way to attack trans people without coming off as an obvious transphobe. As a not-sports person my primary response is-- who cares? We're arguing about people's human rights and safety and a huge chunk of people can only respond by saying BUT SPORTS!

There's less than a dozen cases of trans athletes facing adversity out there, across all sports on the planet. Maybe the answer is an open division, but we're decades away from that having any strength. Compare the dollar amount between the NBA and the WNBA and it's not even close.

As for the LatinX thing-- if there's one thing I've learned living in LA, it's that minorities are often considered to be liberal democrats because traditionally, that's who fights for equal rights. But in reality, Hispanic and African American cultures are super conservative when you go as near back as baby boomers. They both have a heavy history of religion as it one of the few ways they could have a sense of community outside everyday (racist) life.

I think Boomer hispanics, and any Gen-Xers that are not liberal, will resist new fangled terminology associated with woke folk. It's the younger generations that champion it, so the reactions you're talking about make total sense to me.

1.  Interesting take.  If it is subconsciousness, wouldn't more straight males raised under those circumstances also have the accent (like me). 

2.  LOL-I was thinking what you said while I typed it "I hope no one thinks I am trans-phobic for asking this"...but that is why I am afraid to ask.  There is a parent at my school that has his Trump and Don't tread on me bumper stickers and wears a hat everyday that says "protect women's sports".  I am all for trans-rights, so maybe this small, insignificant issue is the only thing I wonder, "well how are they gonna do that?"  I know it is just a few trans-athletes now, but when scholarships get involved, and that may be the only way a student gets to go to college, it will be a bigger issue.

3.  Does anyone know why so many Indian males go to the gym in business casual clothes?

4.  I have always wondered why conservatives don't embrace Hispanic people.   Maybe it is also a regional thing, but almost all Hispanics I know, regardless of age hate Latinx.  They feel it is once again, white people telling them what is and is not their culture.  

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10 hours ago, Hobbes said:

1.  Interesting take.  If it is subconsciousness, wouldn't more straight males raised under those circumstances also have the accent (like me). 

2.  LOL-I was thinking what you said while I typed it "I hope no one thinks I am trans-phobic for asking this"...but that is why I am afraid to ask.  There is a parent at my school that has his Trump and Don't tread on me bumper stickers and wears a hat everyday that says "protect women's sports".  I am all for trans-rights, so maybe this small, insignificant issue is the only thing I wonder, "well how are they gonna do that?"  I know it is just a few trans-athletes now, but when scholarships get involved, and that may be the only way a student gets to go to college, it will be a bigger issue.

3.  Does anyone know why so many Indian males go to the gym in business casual clothes?

4.  I have always wondered why conservatives don't embrace Hispanic people.   Maybe it is also a regional thing, but almost all Hispanics I know, regardless of age hate Latinx.  They feel it is once again, white people telling them what is and is not their culture.  

What is it with conservative people and wearing political slogan hats/t shirts and bumper stickers!? It's bizarre. 

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1.  How do so many gay males use the gay male speech dialect when they are from areas that the dialect is rare or even heavily prejudiced against?”


I never thought of it as being an accent. I see it as being flamboyant. I remember a girl commenting about how she thought a certain boy’s accent was. My 1st thought was “That’s  no accent!”

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