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Does anyone have it together anymore?


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So I have always prided myself on being organized and generally having my "isht" together. I'm not sure if it's COVID or if it's society in general, but lately I'm struggling because everyone around me seems to be disorganized and its making my life a hot mess, and now I'm doubting my own abilities.

So in the past week, we've had:

- A package containing my in-laws' lifetime National Park pass (which is apparently not something you can get anymore) not getting delivered to us before they left town. We spent probably 6 hours on the phone with FedEx over 2 days getting this package re-routed, and along the way no one gave us the same answer twice and it was generally a disaster. It once again missed them at the 2nd vacation house because they sent it back to Memphis instead of putting it on a truck to drive 2 hours east.

- We were assessed late fees for our daughter's first tuition payment due 7/1. A month ago, the school announced they were transitioning to a new payment system and please go sign up by a certain date. I did, and even have a confirmation email with the details of the payment plan, which checking account number they were pulling from, etc. It turns out they auto-signed my husband up a few days later and decided his account was the primary, which had no information for payment nor a plan selected. We are not the only family this happened to. Apparently they've waived the late fees but they still want me to use this rogue account that I never set up, and meanwhile, I can't access the account that I set up, because the school never approved it.

- We are having air conditioning installed today. Yesterday when we were in Central Washington, a 2 hour drive, an electrician rang our doorbell saying he was there for the pre-work. We had people come out to our house 2 weeks prior to check out the installation and this was never mentioned, nor would we have agreed to it because we already cut our vacation short to get back in time for this instead of having to wait until November. Prior to this, we initially contacted the company in January, they came out in February, gave us a quote, we said yes we will take this option, and then radio silence for months while I tried to contact them to ask them to send over paperwork. The front office asked me to contact the guy who came out, and then when I called a month later to say the guy still hadn't been in contact despite reaching out via phone, text, and email, the person we talked to admitted the guy had left. Then they said they couldn't get us in until November as we were ready to sign on the dotted line. When I pitched a fit because our Costco membership is going to expire in August, and we specifically upgraded knowing we were going to drop a bunch of money on this during this year, they found us a cancelation for this week, but we had to leave Central WA last night at 9pm so we could be here for the 9 AM install. Yesterday no one would call us back to tell us what the plan was today since they said they had no electrician today. I called back the person who called me at 4pm to ask if they had a status update, but the girl said this was her personal phone and she wasn't at work anymore, so call the office. So I left a message, no response. This morning an electrician rang the doorbell at 8:30 AM. Super nice guy, but he also said he had no pictures and no information about our unit, and didn't even know what gauge wires to run, so he's coming back later today. But on the bright side they are here and it looks like they are getting it done, although they've run into a few issues already because it sounds like the estimators don't know what they're doing.

I think there's one more but I'm just so exhausted I can't even today. I just feel like everything is a disaster lately, and I'm exhausted by it. I don't have time to triple-check everyone and nag everyone along. I took on a lead job at work almost 2 years ago, and even though this is the 3rd time I've done this, it's so overwhelming because once again, I feel like no one has their crap together and several people seemed to expect me and clean up the mess without addressing the systematic issues. So I've just given up and told people I'm not a babysitter or a secretary, and I expect grown men to be able to adult. And with all of these issues, I feel like all these people/companies are trying to gaslight me and tell me they contacted me and told me this or that and they did not. Or they refuse to do what seems like a simple ask.

I get it, no one wants to work anymore, which is really no one wants to take a crappy job for crappy pay and deal with irate customers. But I feel like society is angry and falling apart and taking me down with it. Am I the only one feeling like this or is this happening everywhere?

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As someone who works an IT job in higher education, I have definitely noticed since covid an increase in customers being harder to deal with.  Some are in a hurry, others could solve their own issue if they put 2 brain cells together, and others are just plain grumpy.  I have also noticed that since covid, no one where I work wants to come to the office anymore and demand to work from home at least 2-3 days a week.   Now, this could be that some folks just got used to working from home under lockdown, but it has been almost 1.5 years now that we have been back to the office, or at least for many of my colleagues and I,  it has.   I have also noticed that people in public are impatient and downright rude, or drive crazier.   People, whether you are talking about customers or even people providing service, seem more impatient, and less inclined to do anything more than just enough work to not get fired, let alone go the extra mile. There is certainly a zeitgeist of anger in the air, and it seems nationwide.   

 

Edit:

I always try to do my best at work, but I have also been going through a rough couple of years personally as well as at work, and noticed that I feel burned out at my job, which is why I am starting a new one soon.   It is still for the same university (lateral transfer so I keep my salary and pension), but working on a different college and a campus closer to home, and I believe it will be less stress on me in the grand scheme of things.  

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For a variety of reasons people generally feel that the social contract has been broken. I think you can point to a number of concerns that people on both sides of the aisle have for thinking this. 

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4 minutes ago, perfectsim said:

For a variety of reasons people generally feel that the social contract has been broken. I think you can point to a number of concerns that people on both sides of the aisle have for thinking this. 

I don't want to get political here, so I will keep it apolitical. I think you are right on this.   I think the overall theme for people, especially younger generations, is that the future doesn't look bright, which I don't know about you, scares the hell out of me.  And THAT may be one of, if not THE reason people are angrier these days. 

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That's great about the new job. I was wondering about the details. I think a shorter commute will help. And I hear you on the burnout. I think I am burning out at work too from the lack of organization and frenzy of supporting multiple programs. I feel like some days I just sit there and stare at the screen and nothing happens because there's just so much to get done and I can't decide what needs to get done first.

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47 minutes ago, Zathras said:

I don't want to get political here, so I will keep it apolitical. I think you are right on this.   I think the overall theme for people, especially younger generations, is that the future doesn't look bright, which I don't know about you, scares the hell out of me.  And THAT may be one of, if not THE reason people are angrier these days. 

I'll be real, it feels like the American Dream has been a total sham all along, and it's pretty disappointing to realize we are not "the greatest country in the world" like we were told growing up. (Not saying Russia is great, either.) I'm moderately successful and looking around asking wtf is wrong here and why am I letting myself be a cog in the machine that just let's rich ***holes get richer.

Let's just say I'm not jumping to SpaceX or Blue Origin any time soon. Any pay increase wouldn't be worth the stress of working for those nutjobs.

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Covid brain is real. and it's a pain in the ass. 

 I managed to not get covid but I still have to deal daily with people who misspell their own names on checks they're allowed to order online. Two jobs where I'm a second class citizen and it sucks. Parents who don't want to take responsibility and I have to bend over backwards to accommodate their requests. And some really weird home stuff. So my own weird issues have been also adding to the mix. Like in general I am angry for no reason and find I am ruder when I have never been like that before. (I called a banker an idiot on a call and didn't bother muting and ALSO didn't apologize and owned up to it right away when called out on the call by said banker because honestly how do I cancel an order that was shipped already? AND WHY ON GODS LITTLE GREEN EARTH did you wait six days after you found out you ordered the wrong checks to call and cancel an order you selected NON-Trackable shipping for? I actually asked her how she thought we could cancel that. To imagine if she will how we'd go about canceling something that shipped with third class mail already? and she reported me to by boss. So I'm waiting for the hammer to drop at my second job but I have no regrets. Not one iota. It's time to go from that job since Tina passed).

I have a theory about this whole thing. I think we're all struggling with what I call life PTSD. We lived through Trump, we're being crapped on by jobs, people can't keep their lives organized and it spills into our daily life. It's just like falling constantly from one crisis to another and our coping brains can't do it any more. I forget things I normally wouldn't. I get easily frustrated. I started bereavement counseling because with my Mom, Nan and then Tina passing I think I'm struggling with this especially since Tina passed away.

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I am barely holding it together right now I’m so pissed.

I have a shit ton to do so I got to the cutting corral like 20 minutes before opening because there’s always a wait.  I am the first one by like 15 minutes and I’m hanging out by the door.  Anyways, like three minutes before it opens there’s a line of like 5 guys.  They unlock the door and I do the polite thing and hold the door for the next guy—there are two check in kiosks.  While I’m doing that, the two guys behind the guy I’m holding the door for rush in to the kiosks.  So here I am with an hour wait to get my hair cut because I was being polite.
 

 

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21 hours ago, Destiny Skywalker said:

That's great about the new job. I was wondering about the details. I think a shorter commute will help. And I hear you on the burnout. I think I am burning out at work too from the lack of organization and frenzy of supporting multiple programs. I feel like some days I just sit there and stare at the screen and nothing happens because there's just so much to get done and I can't decide what needs to get done first.

The shorter commute will shave about an hour and a half to 2 hours off my day.  I am definitely stoked!

What I hate is organizations will work you and work you until you can't take it and you are forced to leave.   They don't care if you burn out.   

 

21 hours ago, Destiny Skywalker said:

I'll be real, it feels like the American Dream has been a total sham all along, and it's pretty disappointing to realize we are not "the greatest country in the world" like we were told growing up. (Not saying Russia is great, either.) I'm moderately successful and looking around asking wtf is wrong here and why am I letting myself be a cog in the machine that just let's rich ***holes get richer.

Let's just say I'm not jumping to SpaceX or Blue Origin any time soon. Any pay increase wouldn't be worth the stress of working for those nutjobs.

Yeah, maybe at one time there was an American Dream, but not anymore. Now, it seems that it's all propaganda and myth to get people to work hard and make the rich richer.  

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On 7/14/2022 at 8:10 AM, Hobbes said:

I am barely holding it together right now I’m so pissed.

I have a shit ton to do so I got to the cutting corral like 20 minutes before opening because there’s always a wait.  I am the first one by like 15 minutes and I’m hanging out by the door.  Anyways, like three minutes before it opens there’s a line of like 5 guys.  They unlock the door and I do the polite thing and hold the door for the next guy—there are two check in kiosks.  While I’m doing that, the two guys behind the guy I’m holding the door for rush in to the kiosks.  So here I am with an hour wait to get my hair cut because I was being polite.
 

 

 

22 hours ago, Destiny Skywalker said:

I'm finding people will get away with what they can and hope you don't call them on it.

People cutting in line after you hold the door for them?  See that is total BS.   I probably would have gone off on them!

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I'm in the very early stages of some sort of midlife or identity crisis or something, so I'm barely holding on. Can't really blame anyone else for not having their shit together when I'm having as hard a time as I am. I try my best to be patient with other people cuz we're all going through post-traumatic pandemic stress--trying hardest with myself. I don't know how well I'm doing with it, or anything else these days.

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On 7/13/2022 at 3:11 PM, Zathras said:

As someone who works an IT job in higher education, I have definitely noticed since covid an increase in customers being harder to deal with.  Some are in a hurry, others could solve their own issue if they put 2 brain cells together, and others are just plain grumpy.  I have also noticed that since covid, no one where I work wants to come to the office anymore and demand to work from home at least 2-3 days a week.   Now, this could be that some folks just got used to working from home under lockdown, but it has been almost 1.5 years now that we have been back to the office, or at least for many of my colleagues and I,  it has.   I have also noticed that people in public are impatient and downright rude, or drive crazier.   People, whether you are talking about customers or even people providing service, seem more impatient, and less inclined to do anything more than just enough work to not get fired, let alone go the extra mile. There is certainly a zeitgeist of anger in the air, and it seems nationwide.  

Hey, me too (IT in education, that is)! Although we are back in the office, we're allowed to work from home once a week which is nice. I really appreciate that as I hate driving to work, it's all highway and I swear people are crazier on the roads now. Just this morning I was changing lanes for an exit as there isn't much time to do so, so put my blinker on, look back, see a car fairly far enough back that I can get in, so start moving over. Apparently they didn't want to slow down as they blazed past me so fast I had to pull back over which almost made me hit the divider. It feels people on the highway never want to slow down to let someone in now. I feel like I've had more near accidents in the last 6 months than I've had in my previous years driving.

 I feel really worried for the future, like I don't even know if I even want kids someday because the world lately just feels more awful every year and it doesn't seem to be getting any better.

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3 hours ago, CoLA said:

Hey, me too (IT in education, that is)! Although we are back in the office, we're allowed to work from home once a week which is nice. I really appreciate that as I hate driving to work, it's all highway and I swear people are crazier on the roads now. Just this morning I was changing lanes for an exit as there isn't much time to do so, so put my blinker on, look back, see a car fairly far enough back that I can get in, so start moving over. Apparently they didn't want to slow down as they blazed past me so fast I had to pull back over which almost made me hit the divider. It feels people on the highway never want to slow down to let someone in now. I feel like I've had more near accidents in the last 6 months than I've had in my previous years driving.

 I feel really worried for the future, like I don't even know if I even want kids someday because the world lately just feels more awful every year and it doesn't seem to be getting any better.

I've been saying for years where I am (Phoenix, AZ) gets worse every year, when it comes to driving.  I would say Phoenix is second only to LA as far as shitty places to drive. People will not even let you in when getting on the freeway.   In AZ, road rage is a thing, and I've even had a gun pointed at me before, because someone wouldn't let me in and I got over anyway.  Even though they ended up behind me, they sped up to point the gun and yell at me.  Another time, some dude who wouldn't let me over got pissed and followed me to bang on my window when I got off the freeway and was stopped at a light.   

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34 minutes ago, Tank said:

Driving in Phoenix is WAY worse than driving in LA.

Fair point, as someone who had a maniac point a gun at me (*scary!).  I guess it depends on what you define as worse.  The last time I was in LA, it scared the living shit out of me on the freeway. But I didn't see any road ragers there. 

*Edit:  I was definitely scared and pulled off the road to get away, but driving in LA scared me more.

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3 hours ago, Zathras said:

I've been saying for years where I am (Phoenix, AZ) gets worse every year, when it comes to driving.  I would say Phoenix is second only to LA as far as shitty places to drive. People will not even let you in when getting on the freeway.   In AZ, road rage is a thing, and I've even had a gun pointed at me before, because someone wouldn't let me in and I got over anyway.  Even though they ended up behind me, they sped up to point the gun and yell at me.  Another time, some dude who wouldn't let me over got pissed and followed me to bang on my window when I got off the freeway and was stopped at a light.   

Hey, I know AZ, I used to live in Tucson! Better drivers, at least, totally agree with the bad driving in Phoenix the few times I drove up there.

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34 minutes ago, Tank said:

Driving in Phoenix is WAY worse than driving in LA.

I don't know, I still have nightmares the one time I drove on the LA freeway. I remember at one point a garbage bag flew out of the back of a pickup truck I was behind and smashed open on the hood of my car, spraying trash all over! All while going 80 MPH LOL. At least I did make it to my destination accident free.

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Yeah driving in Phoenix sucks ass for sure.  Tank has a point, though.  Maybe now it is worse than LA. Tuscon is not quite as bad as Phoenix,  but no fun there either. 

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OMG Tucson is hysterically dumb. It's all gridded and lights and potholes and construction. But Phoenix is just endless sun beating down on you and loops and loops and loops. I love San Antonio most of the time because you can get anywhere in San Antonio in 30 minutes if you know the ways. 

I'm thinking about learning to drive a school bus. I want to be Freddy Kruger and the kids say "thanks for the ride, lady".

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In LA we all drive really fast, but it’s a group decision. As long as you aren’t blocking or cutting somebody off you’re good. If you want to go faster than me, I’ll get over.

Rush hour sucks, and interchanges can be a nightmare, but we all agree on driving like ***holes together.

In Phoenix it seems like you have three different classes of speed and none of them Which lane is there’s, and there never seems to be enough lanes. And SO MANY pickup trucks.

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You Americans with your big wide roads and massive freeways. Try driving in the UK or any European city, it'll be nailbiting for you.

Though, I've never heard of anyone pulling a gun. That's pretty terrifying

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5 hours ago, Odine said:

You Americans with your big wide roads and massive freeways. Try driving in the UK or any European city, it'll be nailbiting for you.

Though, I've never heard of anyone pulling a gun. That's pretty terrifying

Living in Tucson, I used to see people carrying guns pretty often. You kind of get used to it but it's still weird. To me, anyway, just not a big fan of guns. Now that I'm living in another state, I never see anyone carrying them.

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