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  • 1 month later...

So turns out my 92 year old grandmother has been smashing Oxycontin (oxycodone) for years (probably over a decade maybe more) and has been found out cause she had a fall and needed a hip replacement. The morphene the docs have been giving her hasn't been enough to dull the pain (or satisfy her opiate thirst). She's got (or had) boxes of the stuff stashed everywhere in her house..she used to be a nurse and her husband was a dentist so getting high strength meds wasn't hard for them. Mum flushed or threw out all her Oxy (which I'm not sure is the right move considering withdrawal) but hopefully the pain meds the hospital prescribe will be enough that she doesnt get strung out.

I find it amusing my little old Dutch Oma (grandma) has outdone everyone in the family in terms of the longevity of their drug addictions. For I while I was doing lots of amphetamines and cocaine or psychedelics..but recreationally mind you, never truly habitual. My dad smoked a lot of weed and did a lot of acid for many years but hasn't in nearly 30, my brother is a recovered(ing) alcoholic, another cousin was a meth head, but the kingpin of the family is my little old Oma who likes to play bridge and look at art 

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This was a thing Tina struggled with. It's really designed to create its own addiction need. It is a HARD demon to shake. We talked about it a lot and I actually went to some NA meetings with Tina to help her through her biggest things. She'd steal from my Nan's stock but eventually it moved to heroin because it's cheaper and easier to come by. Your grandma definitely needs to reach out to a doctor to help her with the withdrawals. Tina's stupid ass PA made her go cold turkey because we couldn't get approved for and find a psych to help prescribe the pills they give to help with weening off of them like methadone.  

Tina could be a bitch in the hospital because she expected the hard stuff for pain but they're moving away from that in hospitals and mostly she got tylenol three.

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I don't think she's going through withdrawal cause she's on some pretty strong stuff for the hip replacement, hopefully it'll work out. Can't imagine the people in the assisted living place shes in now will let her go cold turkey

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  • 2 weeks later...

So an update, my grandmother has gone into a nice assisted living place with sweet views and round the clock staff. Think they're just keeping her on the opiates but monitoring the levels to keep her safe and happy but not smacked out all the time. Lol. 

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On 12/4/2022 at 12:45 AM, Odine said:

So an update, my grandmother has gone into a nice assisted living place with sweet views and round the clock staff. Think they're just keeping her on the opiates but monitoring the levels to keep her safe and happy but not smacked out all the time. Lol. 

If I am going to go--that's how I want to go.  I don't want my boys to have to take care of me so I fully plan to start using recreational drugs once I can no longer take care of myself and eventually accidentally OD. 

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Yeah pretty much. I have asked did they even listen to him?  I think they treat mainstream politics like entertainment. Which I find so fucking weird. 

I also have relatives that voted for Lake in Arizona and I feel like Herschel at least has the excuse he's stupid because he's had trauma to the head from football. Lake on the other hand, well, while not my relative is CRAY CRAY.

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Ever since her parents died, my mother-in-law has been spiraling. She won't go to therapy. She's been stuck in the "angry" part of grief for almost a year. Damn near everything pisses her off these days. My sister-in-law and her fiance split up for about a month back in Sept/Oct, and my MIL acted like she was going through a divorce of her own. She was angry that my SIL didn't take all of her "advice". She was angry that she didn't see my nephew as often (she used to get him from school 3-4 days a week) during the split. She was angry that SIL and her fiance don't ask her to babysit and just assume she will. She was angry that SIL did and didn't invite her to Thanksgiving (I still don't understand that one tbh). She's so angry that she's decided to "disappear" in December and leave the state for Christmas. She almost didn't tell us where she was going, and she still hasn't told SIL that she's even leaving! 

We had a hiccup trying to buy this house from her. The taxes increased so much from last year to this year that it priced us out of it. We can afford the insurance and P&I, but not the taxes anymore. When we told her that and tried to talk to her about our plans, she flipped her shit. Literally, we just wanted to tell her that Trevor is looking for a full-time job now and Luke is going to be going to public school for the foreseeable future, both of which we're pretty much on the horizon anyway because the rising costs of everything is putting a major strain on my salary and I haven't been with my boss long enough to really request a raise just yet. We're not happy about the lifestyle change, but oh well, life and all that. But anyway, she LOST. HER. SHIT. She accused us of trying to sell the house out from under her, threw a fit because she "just knows" that we blame her for not doing what we told her (homesteading the house and protesting the taxes)(and yeah, we kinda do blame her for that part a bit but whatevs, we didn't bring it up), and basically told us that she can't trust us because we're family and you can't trust family when dealing with money. THEN she tried to explain to us that it's not that she doesn't trust us, just that she has to verify all of our real estate knowledge with an outside source because that's what you do when you're on opposite sides of a transaction. But at least she admitted that my real estate knowledge is more robust and complete than hers and nothing we've told her so far has been false or misleading in any way. :rolleyes: So it's like, it's not that she doesn't trust us just that we can't be trusted...

So 2 nights ago she came over so we could discuss this all in person to avoid any "confusion". Mostly the convo went well. But then she started telling us that SIL's fiance told her that our nephew is not allowed to spend the night at her house if she allows Trevor's currently incarcerated and estranged brother move in with her once he's released. She's angry about that too. Had a whole rant about how they don't trust her. And then we had to interrupt to tell her that our kids aren't allowed around Uncle Travis either. She lost custody of Travis when he was a toddler because she married a new guy who was in the army and got sent to Germany. Travis's dad (grandmother really) took her to court to keep her from taking Travis overseas for a year and won. Travis's dad is complete white trash - meth addict, conman, thief, in-and-out of jail, domestic abuser, etc. So Travis came out the same. Travis is 40, and two years ago when Trevor tried to reunite Travis and their mother, he brought his 15 year-old "stepdaughter" with him. After a few visits, it became apparent to pretty much everyone that he was actually sleeping with this girl. Trevor called the girl's mom who basically admitted that it was true and strongly hinted that she was pimping out the girl for meth from Travis. Travis's one and only sane blood relative, Aunt Theresa, also confirmed that her brother caught Travis and the girl in the act and beat the hell out of Travis for it. So Trevor called the police and Travis's PO (because he's pretty much in and out of jail all the time, he always has a PO), but neither could do anything without a complaining victim or solid evidence. Then Travis got popped with meth and wound up back in jail and is now in some work program. But he's been buttering up to my MIL, getting money from her, convincing her to send money to his fellow inmates ("it's so sad, he doesn't have anyone on the outside to send him money for commissary"), and now has nearly convinced her to let him move in with her when he's released. Basically, he has nowhere else to go, even his bat-shit insane blood relatives on his dad's side won't help him anymore, and he has to have an address to put on his parole papers to get out. 

So the other night my increasingly disproportionally angrier and angrier mother-in-law told us, "you're saying if I help out my son, I lose my entire family". Not even sure how she made that leap. We kept telling her that that wasn't the case. She's a grown-ass woman and if she wants to help the son she didn't get to raise, that's commendable. We think she should proceed with caution, but it's admirable to want to help. We're all just saying that our underage children aren't going to be allowed around their meth-addicted pedo uncle until we see some serious changes in him. Still, she thinks that means that she has to choose between him or the rest of us. She's always welcome at our house (she still owns it!!), and is conditionally welcome at SIL's (the split did a number on their weird 3-way relationship), and we could always meet somewhere in public. But oh no! We're making her choose - her son or her grandsons (and yes, she specifically left off her daughter, her other son (Trevor), and me). 

So shoot me now! At least *I* know that she won't be in town for Christmas, so we won't have to deal with this bullshit then. It's rare that my side of the family is the least drama-filled. 

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Dang Cerina! What a nightmare.  I know it sounds horrible to say, but I am glad that I never had that problem.  My fiancé's parents are both passed away (happened long before I met her), and they were pieces of work according to her.   

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I think you honestly have to say YES to that question about if she takes Travis in she loses her family. Be clear as to why. It's for your own kids safety because that guy is bad bad bad bad news. Meth was Tina's drug of choice and she struggled with that demon while with me but she made an effort to not go back. Honestly a lot of people have undiagnosed mental issues. My Mom had Schizophrenia that she self-medicated with alcohol but it spiraled out in the end to some really hard paranoia. And that's not a bag you and your kids need to carry. Do it for your mental state. Say we love you but we can't do this and not know our kids are safe. There is only so much your Venn diagram of normalcy can accept. Sometimes just for your own mental state you have to close and make that Venn diagram overlap with less things to help maintain a healthy life. For those people like these sometimes they gotta get to rock bottom before they work on their issues and they have to do it for themselves not you or your kids. Between Houston and Austin there is a TON of meth places where it's made and I am surprised Travis isn't working on this in a jailhouse program but if he's choosing that over getting healthy it's not going to end well.

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Oh and did I mention that Travis's dad, Tim, has been missing for a year presumed dead?

My MIL has a host of mental health issues, but she's so much better off than her parents deserve. They fucked her up, and she has a real difficult time with setting boundaries and let's people, men especially, treat her like shit. 

Trevor and his sister have their own minor issues, but they honestly have right to be as well-adjusted and mentally healthy as they are. 

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