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I do want to see a movie where Jim Carrey plays Jim Carrey wearing a mask pretending to be the president.

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And then James Woods, played by Val Kilmer, starts doing it too and it leads to a war between the two that ends with a knife fight on top of the White House and then JFK Jr shows up and kills them both with an airplane propeller.

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My family attended a church for awhile with some interesting members. One member, a U.S. Marshal, had a trailer buried underground on his property and filled with guns, ammo, and food so that his family would be able to survive the Muslim invasion that would happen during the Obama Presidency. They also had my mom convinced that Obama was the anti-Christ and my mom called me in a panic on election night 2008 because she had voted for him anyway and she was afraid she was going to hell. I told her not to worry, he wasn't going to win Nebraska anyway.

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Oh, yeah. JFK Jr faking his death because he knew Trump would be battling pedophiles 20 years later makes complete sense.

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Dammit Jacob. 

 

My mother-in-law isn't this...unreachable, but the woman needs some serious therapy. Her parents fucked her up something bad. I'd explain more but, frankly, I'm tired of thinking about and talking about it. 

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Mazel tov to the happy couple! I wish them every happiness well, not literally, some of the things that’d make them happy would make me unhappy. So, nope, like, for instance : I don’t want Donald Trump and JFK Jr. to become president in 2021 (resurrection and time travel!? I don’t know. I guess that footage is old??????) and I don’t want to find out how noted conservative James Woods is a part of the conspiracy to defraud the American public into believing that Joe Biden is alive!?!? How does that work??? He’s a Republican! James Woods is a Republican! Oh, wait, acting! He’s pretending to be a Republican the same way he’s pretending to be Joe Biden, the same way he pretended to be Sharon Stone’s boyfriend in Casino (1995). I guess he’s not actually her boyfriend. I guess he’s not actually a Republican. Stagecraft! Showmanship!

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Or is that the weird part? A lot of that ilk believe that Trump is the real president and actors are portraying Biden while doing what Trump wants.

But at the same time Biden is doing everything wrong and should be blamed for everything.

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  • 3 months later...

The following is just one small piece of one of the most absurd true family saga in small town Ohio.  The centerpiece is my wife's crazy, childless, independently wealthy, old-school racist (won't let non-white people on her property), 93-year-old great aunt winning $5 million dollars on a scratch ticket and the next day falling down her stairs and breaking her hip two days before COVID lockdown spending the rest of her final two years of her life isolated in a horrible nursing home all while making multi-million dollar inheritance decisions that lead to a town tearing itself apart causing the death of one the inheritors. 

This piece my seem unrelated, but it is very much connected. I am sure I will slowly detail this insane web of events over time. 

My wife and I booked a Disney cruise last spring.  One of her relatives is a travel agent for Disney.  I forgot about this because it isn't like a job job. more like selling Avon.  The relative freaked out when she found out we didn't use her and demanded we list her as the agent so she gets credit/ commission (about $700).  Without our permission, she finds our reservation and lists herself as the booking agent.  Fine whatever--it doesn't cost us anything, but now she is the point person for account details.  She never sent us some information causing us to lose out on the one excursion we wanted.  She said she felt bad, profusely apologized and she will make it up by telling us about a hotel package which included admission to Legoland.  First, why didn't she tell us about this before and second, I already found this deal and booked it at a cheaper rate than the one she sent.  I was like "cool...thanks".  This weekend she sent us a fucking invoice for $150 for for her commission on the "booking".  She said her job scope is limited to the Disney Cruise and she went over and beyond and was "beyond insulted" we didn't pay her for these services--and is telling everyone in the family how she feels.  The package only saves like $50.

What makes this more infuriating is that a.) over the years, I have spent countless hours consulting with her about her kid's issues and I never even considered billing her. and b.) her husband makes really good money and a few years ago he was laid off--but she went and begged for money on FB saying how they didn't have money for food so we gave her a costco gift card only to find out that they did have money for a vacation to Disney because they needed a mental break from not having money.  She never even acknowledged the gift card and when I asked her husband, he had no idea we gave them one. 

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Now that Tina and Mom have passed my family asks why I don’t move closer to GA. Imma be honest I am good with all of you being a 1000 miles away. Especially Tim. Who is panicking he doesn’t have enough to pay his property tax on the house he bought with what is left over from Moms inheritance. I think would be super pissed at that woman messing around with your vacation plans. 

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Relative or no, I would call Disney and tell them this person didn't help you initially.  It isn't fair to the person who DID help you initially.   Plus, asking for additional $$ is beyond the pale.

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6 hours ago, Ms. Spam said:

Now that Tina and Mom have passed my family asks why I don’t move closer to GA. Imma be honest I am good with all of you being a 1000 miles away. Especially Tim. Who is panicking he doesn’t have enough to pay his property tax on the house he bought with what is left over from Moms inheritance. I think would be super pissed at that woman messing around with your vacation plans. 

Your family reminds me of my mom's family. Stay the eff away.

Also, LMAO at Tim. Didn't see that one coming. 

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22 hours ago, Cerina said:

I cannot get past your first paragraph. Like...I'm not sure if we have booze in the house at the moment, but I'm going to need some to keep reading. Holy shit. 

 

19 hours ago, Destiny Skywalker said:

Are you kidding me? Break out the popcorn, I love crazy people stories.

I might chip away at this story over time.

11 hours ago, Zathras said:

Relative or no, I would call Disney and tell them this person didn't help you initially.  It isn't fair to the person who DID help you initially.   Plus, asking for additional $$ is beyond the pale.

I did--and there is nothing they can do.  The person that did help me was me :). 

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