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The Eternals


Ms. Spam
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I feel that this is the worst Disney Marvel film ever made. It’s heartless, humorless, tired, and boring. It feels like an amalgamation of all the worst and most self important aspects of the hero genre. The only joy I have gotten from this film so far was making my wife laugh when I said that Kumail’s character should be called Finger Guns.

In fairness, we’re only about forty minutes in. In reverse fairness, forty minutes is more than enough time to know if a film is a slog.

Okay, we’re done. 

Giving up.

1 hour in and it becomes a ‘this is what reality is’ Ted Talk by a Planet Sized Douche Robot.

This film feels like Justice League: Presented by Wish.

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That was a bit of a slog. Pretty much all exposition and slow exposition at that. 

The only character I really seemed to care about was Gilgamesh. :(  But I am interested to see how this will tie into the rest of the MCU.

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This one is definitely one of Marvel’s worst. After a rewatch I think it may be THE worst.

Sure Thor 2 and IM3 are trash but at least those two characters have personalities. No one in the Eternals had any sort of life to them. Compare this to No Way Home and you can’t even see how they could be the same universe. No Way Home is ALL heart.

This is what happens when your movie is all plot and the characters are passively reacting to events, as opposed to being a character story in which the lead’s problems create the plot.

Most all the best Marvel films have stories where the heroes weaknesses are exploited and they have to change things, whether it’s Cap’s idealism versus the state, Tony’s ego and reckless history versus his trying to do good, or Thor’s individuality versus the legacy he’s supposed to uphold.

Eternals does none of this. It’s purely a save the world story where all the stakes are just inferred and not personal. You don’t care that the Eternals have been lied to because there’s no reason to give a damn about them personally. I actually guessed Ikarus was a villain 5 minutes after he showed up because there was no attempt made to get us to like him.

I was just saying this about the book of Boba Fett, but these big epic films will fall flat if they have no heart.

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Watched this last night with the Mrs - have to agree with a lot of comments on here.

We went into it fairly blind in terms of not being aware of the storylines or characters from the comics. Interesting concept that just doesn’t come to life in the film itself.
 

There was a real chance of doing some fun flashback stuff in a style like Highlander with all that history to play with, but anytime there was a flashback, it was very bland really.

At one point I thought they were going to do something interesting and use that Deviant who was draining the powers, to be the “hero” after the remaining Eternals had maybe sacrificed themselves to it in order to superpower it to beat Tiamut.

But anyway, that was not to be. I found myself looking at my phone during this one - just didn’t hit the spot. And even the post credits stuff was just setting up new characters - limited fun to be had here.

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To give a bit of positivity on “Blue Monday” though, finally got round to watching first season of Daredevil following the recent additions to the MCU. 
Absolutely superb! Looking forward to series 2!

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23 hours ago, Rogue 3 said:

To give a bit of positivity on “Blue Monday” though, finally got round to watching first season of Daredevil following the recent additions to the MCU. 
Absolutely superb! Looking forward to series 2!

OMG wait until you get to season 3! Bullseye is a great villain in this series. You might want to watch Defenders before it or you'll be confused about why DD is where he is.

 

Eternals! It was...okay. Awesome visuals and some cool action, it was neat seeing the Celestials in live action. I was not expecting to see the two characters in one of the after credits scenes, so that was cool. And apparently the person talking to Dane at the end was Blade!

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Oh nice! Thanks for the tips CoLA! I was going to check on that.

So I’m safe watching s2 of Daredevil, and then watch Jessica Jones, plus Iron Fist and Luke Cage before Defenders? I saw that those last 2 are not that well thought of (at least on Tank’s MCU listing), essential to watch would you say?

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3 hours ago, Rogue 3 said:

Oh nice! Thanks for the tips CoLA! I was going to check on that.

So I’m safe watching s2 of Daredevil, and then watch Jessica Jones, plus Iron Fist and Luke Cage before Defenders? I saw that those last 2 are not that well thought of (at least on Tank’s MCU listing), essential to watch would you say?

Yeah, it should be seasons 1 and 2 of DD, and seasons 1 of all the others, then Defenders. At least if you want to get to know the characters first! S3 of DD picks up after Defenders. JJ season 1 is great, season 2 and 3 are...okayyy. LC season 1 is great until halfway through it, I'll just say it seems to go downhill after one of the better characters dies. S2 isn't bad, just not that memorable. IF season 1 is garbage tier! Honestly, the only characters I liked were Colleen and Ward and neither the story or action are any good. S2 is slightly better but I'm going to say not by much because I barely remember it, a clear sign my brain has done it's best to expunge it.

Defenders is only good, too, not great. The fun thing about it is finally seeing all the characters get together and interact. I especially liked the DD/JJ ones, they had good snarky chemistry!

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9 hours ago, Rogue 3 said:

Oh nice! Thanks for the tips CoLA! I was going to check on that.

So I’m safe watching s2 of Daredevil, and then watch Jessica Jones, plus Iron Fist and Luke Cage before Defenders? I saw that those last 2 are not that well thought of (at least on Tank’s MCU listing), essential to watch would you say?

They're all watchable save for Iron Fist, which is all truly terrible. Problem is, they rushed Iron Fist out so they could get to the Defenders. stuff in all the shows sets up The Defenders, and you have to watch it for DDs3 to make sense.

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I feel that with Marvel moving into their more "niche" characters with this movie and Shang Chi, the Hawkeye and Moon Knight tv series, I can finally watch them like a non-comics reading person because I know next to nothing about them going in.

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