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We stopped attending my dad’s family reunion in 2016, following the extreme racism and sexism of my uncles in full display of my wife and kids.

My sister got us to agree to go this year by making my niece’s graduation celebration part of it. It’s tomorrow. I have a feeling that after this year, I’ll be asked to not return. At the first sign of the racism, which is more prevalent than the sexism, I’m going off on someone. And I’m prepared to go scorched earth. Old men who have never accomplished anything, most of whom are hated by their own children, if their children even know them.

But almost all of my aunts are lovely people. And my dad grew up with these guys and was very anti-racist. And it’s also funny to me because my family is from Southern Ohio, pretty much Kentucky, and the uncles who are the biggest hillbillies are actually the least racist/sexist. 
 

I’m mostly rambling, but I’m not looking forward to this.

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I, too, have sworn off my dad's family reunions. We did go in 2019 because it was the 50th, they made t-shirts, and my grandma would have been very disappointed if we hadn't gone (my sister already had to skip because she was due literally any day at that point). I don't plan on ever going back. 

And another one of my cousins (2nd? 3rd? cousin...I don't know how this works...we share great-grandparents) just married a black guy. One of my cousins did that 10ish years ago, and they've barely been seen since. No surprise. But this newest guy is Nigerian, and they had a lot of traditional Nigerian elements in their wedding. And NOBODY has posted about it on Facebook. Soo many of my cousins and aunts and uncles were there, but only one cousin has posted any pics or anything(and she married into the family and just posted because her kiddos were in the wedding). 

Anyway, they've come a long way since my dad scandalized the family by knocking up a Mexican girl and having a half-Mexican baby (yours truly), but not far enough. So fuck 'em. 

After my grandmother dies, I'll probably finish cutting my dad out as well. 

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Fortunately it was insanely hot so all the old, fat racists stayed in a cabin and had food brought in to them. It was pretty pleasant that way.

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Everyone wins!

I think any of the overt racists in my family are gone. If anything we just have the institutional racists who think things are so much better than when they were kids (and on the surface, it is). 

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Honestly, it probably is a lot better, even beyond just the surface. The problem is that people think better means perfect. 

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8 hours ago, Destiny Skywalker said:

Everyone wins!

I think any of the overt racists in my family are gone. If anything we just have the institutional racists who think things are so much better than when they were kids (and on the surface, it is). 

Institutional racists are the worst.  MLK said he feared moderate white's more than the KKK.

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My (black) cat’s name is Sammy, and I started calling him “Sambert,” and my grandma took that and started calling him “Sambo,” and she’s 88 years old and I just can’t upset her by correcting her but damn I cringe every time she does it.

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My birthday is on Saturday, Juneteenth. Every year I get to hear about how my birthday is one "n****r day". Every. Year. 

Noah is also attending his first semi-formal dance on Saturday. So today at my grandparent's house (Trevor threw me a mini surprise graduation party today), both Noah and I got to hear a lot of questions about "n****r day". "Oh he has a dance! Is it to celebrate n****r day?" "Your birthday's on n****r day, again, huh? ;)" "You gonna go find a n****r day party on your birthday?"

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29 minutes ago, Cerina said:

My birthday is on Saturday, Juneteenth. Every year I get to hear about how my birthday is one "n****r day". Every. Year. 

Noah is also attending his first semi-formal dance on Saturday. So today at my grandparent's house (Trevor threw me a mini surprise graduation party today), both Noah and I got to hear a lot of questions about "n****r day". "Oh he has a dance! Is it to celebrate n****r day?" "Your birthday's on n****r day, again, huh? ;)" "You gonna go find a n****r day party on your birthday?"

My sister’s birthday is then too! I could never remember it until Batman Returns was released on June 19. Happy early birthday.

I wish I could say that I don’t get people like that, but I grew up in a community where racism was considered funny. In my early 20s it started to rub me the wrong way, but it wasn’t until I started to think about having kids that it really struck me as horrible. I want my kids to be better people than me.

We might actually visit a local Juneteenth celebration. 

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Yeah, that is fucking horrible.  My feelings went through such a roller coaster of nice thoughts and anger reading your post with the nice things for you, Trevor, and Noah and the horrible shit the others said.

I may have a whole branch of my family that might be racist, but I have basically had no contact with them for most of my life.  It may be unfair for me to assume they might be, but it really wouldn't surprise me, given what I do know about them from things my father has told me and what some have posted on Facebook, which makes me believe at least some are firmly down the Fox News hole.  This branch of the family is by far the closest geographically to me, but the only time I even thought about seeing them was for my aunt's funeral.

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12 hours ago, Cerina said:

My birthday is on Saturday, Juneteenth. Every year I get to hear about how my birthday is one "n****r day". Every. Year. 

Noah is also attending his first semi-formal dance on Saturday. So today at my grandparent's house (Trevor threw me a mini surprise graduation party today), both Noah and I got to hear a lot of questions about "n****r day". "Oh he has a dance! Is it to celebrate n****r day?" "Your birthday's on n****r day, again, huh? ;)" "You gonna go find a n****r day party on your birthday?"

Why?

Just why?

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19 hours ago, Fozzie said:

I wish I could say that I don’t get people like that, but I grew up in a community where racism was considered funny. In my early 20s it started to rub me the wrong way, but it wasn’t until I started to think about having kids that it really struck me as horrible. I want my kids to be better people than me.

That’s my dad. He just thinks it’s the funniest thing in the world and we ALL want to kill him.

It’s how they dig in that gets me. If my whole family refused to take me out to restaurants anymore I’d want to change my behavior, not double down.

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I feel lucky I have a small, non-racist family.  The only real racist I knew of was my great GF from Indiana, but he has been dead since 1984. 

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My dad was one of 17, so you’re going to have some weirdness out of that large a number.

There were also several Trump hats. Guys, the election was over months ago. Give it up.

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