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The Relationship Thread


Tank
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3 hours ago, Tank said:

I was never offended!

Blue didn’t come my way via a dating app. We met via a mutual friend years back and just started hanging out in person last year after she moved to LA. She’s in her mid 30s, so she’s not YOUNG per se, just younger than me.

Yeah for some reason when you said she was younger than you I was picturing someone in their early/mid 20s. 

Just my dirtbag imagination I guess.

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Had a lunch meeting in KP’s area. Paid a visit to KP’s area.

So I definitely like-like the this girl, and it’s mutual. This my make for some strangeness down the road, but for now, going with the flow.

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My day at work was really light, so I decided for some reason to hit the high points of my relationship past:

I went on my first date as a junior in high school, and it didn't exactly go well. It was my junior prom, and I went with a girl who was a senior, and she spent the entire prom in the bathroom with her friend who was crying over a boy she liked being with another girl. None of my friends went, but I danced with a girl I knew who's date also abandoned her.  Didn't date again until my senior year, when I started dating a girl, we went on a few dates, then we went to prom together. It was fine, but I just wasn't feeling the relationship - she wanted to talk about what our babies would look like, and I was weirded out by it and ended up breaking it off. She then came to my graduation party with another guy who tried to be clever and mock me, but it was like he took a butter knife to a nuclear war.  Our friendship quickly deteriorated after that.

I dated off and on for the next couple of years. Then I briefly dated a coworker, April, and it took a lot of effort for me to even remember her name. It was a weird situation. She had a kid with a guy, and then he dumped her and started dating other people. But they still lived together because they had an infant, and they still slept in the same bed. Eventually stuff just got to weird for me, and I ended it. In the meantime, he realized that he wanted to be with her and they got married. 

Next came Cynthia. We also worked together, and I had a crush on her for two years - from the time I was 18 and she was 16, to when she was 18 and I was 20. Things never worked out, until they did, and I fell hard. We went on our first date to see a movie, and then she got back with her boyfriend who she had broken up with multiple times but kept going back. We had a few false starts and finally I told her I was done, then after she broke up with him for 6 months, I was willing to give it a try. And I fell hard. She was the first girl I ever loved, and the first one I ever told.  It was a whirlwind year, we started dating on December 7 - Pearl Harbor Day - and we joked that we hoped it wasn't a bad omen. A little over a year later, she dumped me on Valentine's Day. And later told me that she was having sex with another guy, and that's why she dumped me. I spiraled bad. I drank way too much, and just went into a really dark place. With help from some good friends, I pulled out of it and got over her.

We didn't speak for months, and then she called to say she had some stuff of mine that she wanted to return. I told her to throw it away, because it was all junk that I really didn't want.  Instead she showed up at my work to give it to me. I made a point of throwing it away in front of her.  A few months later, she was home from college for Christmas break and she called and wanted to be friends, and I was over her. I agreed. We went to a movie (Love Actually) and then we went to the Applebee's that was nearby, and got to sit in a friend's section. It went great, I was enjoying myself immensely, but then she brought up that her friend was convinced that Cynthia and I would get back together. Then she said they had a $5 bet, where Cynthia was betting that we wouldn't get back together. I just looked at her and said "That's an easy $5, because that isn't happening." I didn't hear from her again for a while after that, but she kept trying every once in a while, including on her wedding day, and eventually mine.

Around this time, I swore off dating and started looking strongly at the priesthood. I felt a real desire for the priesthood, so it wasn't out of desperation or sorrow. I was really over it. This was the time where I bought the fake wedding ring to wear, because I wasn't interested in anyone. It was actually a great time in my life - I was focused solely on myself, my friends, and things that brought me joy.  Eventually I realized that I wasn't called to the priesthood, but really enjoyed working as a youth minister so I decided that I would just devote my life to that.  I had previously been the youth minister at the church I grew up in, and had a bunch of friends, but then had moved to a church about an hour away. I was commuting on Sundays and mostly otherwise working from home. I decided to call friends during my drive, especially people that I had mentored during my time who were still helping with the program. My first call was to a friend named Matt. He wasn't available. My second call was to a friend named Laura. We talked the entire way. I called her back that night on my way home. We talked the entire ride home, and I sat in my car for another hour talking to her. 

That phone call had to end, but we decided we would finish it the next night - and we talked for hours again. And it kept happening for a month, and Laura, who was at college but pretty close, was home for Thanksgiving break. We decided that we were really good friends, and we wanted to hang out. Leading up to that, I spent a long time agonizing over whether or not it was a date. My feelings for her were really deep, but I didn't want to push and lose her. But I showed up at her mom's house with flowers, and I had to sit and talk to her mom while Laura got ready. The second she walked down the stairs, and smiled at the flowers, I knew that I was going to marry her. Within a year we were engaged.

That first date was almost 15 years ago, and we've been together ever since. 

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2 hours ago, Darth Krawlie said:

Cynthia contacted you on HER and YOUR wedding days. That's nuts. That's sitcom-level ridiculous. I love it. Was she hot?

Yep. Both times asking if we could ever get back together. Both times I said we could be friends.

 

She was hot when we dated, but as of when I was last on Facebook (5-6 years ago), let’s just say life hasn’t been kind.  But she’s a twice divorced single mother.

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11 hours ago, Cerina said:

Not 25 anymore, huh?

That's the truth. I need to space these dates out for recovery time. I am sore as hell. 

6 hours ago, Odine said:

The drinking or the boning? 

JP doesn't drink. Which makes it a liiiiiitle harder to cast off inhibitions, but we got there.

4 hours ago, Jacen123 said:

Maybe, but it seems very appropriate that JP rex him.

Nice. You're back in top form.

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18 hours ago, Darth Krawlie said:

I always knew you were a bro 

At one point she also sent me some Polaroid nudes that she took herself, since this was before smartphones. I returned them.

I really ended up dodging a bullet.

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So dating multiple women is fun and exciting, but there's a deeper reason behind my doing this. It's not THE reason I dove into it, but it is something I was curious about.

Using KP and JP as examples as they are the most recent and most... intense. I find them both stupid hot, but for completely different reasons.

KP outward looks relatively conservatives, but has a total bombshell big boobs, tiny waist, big hips body. She has one tattoo-- but it's huge and on her chest. You only see it if you get her naked or you go to the beach. She writes horror movies like I do, but is very professional on the outside. She's very verbal during sex, has lots of fantasies, and I really like how she sort of presents prim and proper to the world, but is secretly dirty as hell.

JP is very petite and completely covered in tattoos She is very much OUT in terms of being a kinkster and her IG puts it all out there and on display. Enough that I thought I might be way to tame for her. Funny enough, while she is into all sorts of hardcore things, she has been missing the concept of simply hanging out, being sweet and tender, etc.

Point being, I have enjoyed time with them both, and am super into them, but the energy and vibe is very different. As somebody who, in relationships, tries (and fails) to be everything a person needs, this is a very strong lesson for me to seeing that one person cannot be everything for you and meet all your needs.

That's not a condemnation of monogamy as much as it is codependence-- which I fall into even in the most healthy of relationships.  Maybe a monogamous spouse can provide most of what one would need, but they won't provide everything-- that's where your friends come in.

Obviously, this is rocket science, and I have always known this. But I am also a person who has big feels for everyone, and often have to reel that in because most people aren't used to that. Sex is a very easy way for me to express those feels and energy in a way that's not unexpected. That may not make sense-- it's just a thing I feel that's hard to put into words.

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20 minutes ago, Darth Krawlie said:

All right I'm gonna need a facebook link at this point. I love this story so much. We've been watching How I Met Your Mother lately and I swear this could be a storyline on that show.

Let me see what I can do. I’m not on Facebook but I can try to get it.

 

PM’d you. Not posting it openly because I still don’t know who screwed with Rock and chased him off.

 

Edit: You’re right, it could definitely be a storyline for that show

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Y’all are over here exploring yourselves and finding satisfaction in your endeavors, and while my wife and I are also happy and satisfied with each other, I can’t help but to find myself pounding a keyboard like Peter Bretter at his piano singing about how much he sucks and how stupid he is. I’m starting to realize the difference for me isn’t anything to do with sex and love and friendship, but is likely to do with parenting multiple savage witted children. “Dad, you remind me of Thor.” “Thanks, Bub.” “Fat Thor tho.” Like Obi-Wan exclaimed, I have done that myself.  By the way social media algorithms are ***holes too, maybe that means something since they are supposed to echo you. My Spotify and TikTok keeps suggesting teen therapy podcasts, how to talk like a grown up, the loneliness of being a wife, ladies talking about lady stuff. I’m a grown ass man, you fucks.

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1 hour ago, zambingo said:

Y’all are over here exploring yourselves and finding satisfaction in your endeavors, and while my wife and I are also happy and satisfied with each other, I can’t help but to find myself pounding a keyboard like Peter Bretter at his piano singing about how much he sucks and how stupid he is. I’m starting to realize the difference for me isn’t anything to do with sex and love and friendship, but is likely to do with parenting multiple savage witted children. “Dad, you remind me of Thor.” “Thanks, Bub.” “Fat Thor tho.” Like Obi-Wan exclaimed, I have done that myself.  By the way social media algorithms are ***holes too, maybe that means something since they are supposed to echo you. My Spotify and TikTok keeps suggesting teen therapy podcasts, how to talk like a grown up, the loneliness of being a wife, ladies talking about lady stuff. I’m a grown ass man, you fucks.

I’ve been with the same woman for 15 years and things are better than ever. I’m more attracted to her now than when we first started dating. 
 

Also, for Krawlie, another detail I left out - she was a preacher’s daughter. Although he eventually got fired because he was an alcoholic. After he lost his license for too many DUIs they got rid of him. He was also a substitute teacher.

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