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Didn’t get abducted or eaten or murdered. Totally worth it. This place has a 360 view of the LA basin.

I am two of these women.

My day at work was really light, so I decided for some reason to hit the high points of my relationship past: I went on my first date as a junior in high school, and it didn't exactly go well. It

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The vibe I get about dating from everyone else everywhere is that should the “god forbid” happen to me then I’d prolly just be better off continuing to act like I’m married...

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21 minutes ago, Darth Krawlie said:

yeah I'd just to stick to bath houses and street walkers

So there was a highly rapid series of thoughts that followed after reading that comment, but now I wonder - how would y'all rank sex workers and organizations from "trashy to classy"?

Like, a massage parlor is slightly classier than your average street walker, but are bath houses trashier than swing clubs?

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I've never seen an escort but I know they are cleaner and classier than a streetwalker.

Bath house vs swing clubs-- it really depends on the venue and clientele. I've been to really nice, and also really gross version of both. 

Massage parlors-- similar. Some are more upscale, while most are seedy and used for human trafficking. I have a friend who loves them and this is what he says. apparently there are various tells to figure out which kind it is. 

My cousin told me tales of a high end spa in Macau that was basically a super fancy brothel. I've never been, but I'm sure that beats a Nevada whorehouse, right?

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The only thing I know about the sex industry are jokes. Such as... How can you tell if she’s a cop or a real prostitute? Someone one tell me.

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Yeah at this point my kid just needs to be woken up for school and I have to keep food in the kitchen. And even that is every other week. I also, for back health reasons, try not to work more than 4 hours a day unless I’m on a deadline crunch. So yeah, I have the time :)

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5 hours ago, Cerina said:

 

So there was a highly rapid series of thoughts that followed after reading that comment, but now I wonder - how would y'all rank sex workers and organizations from "trashy to classy"?

Like, a massage parlor is slightly classier than your average street walker, but are bath houses trashier than swing clubs?

I don't judge.  A streetwalker vs a high end escort...the high-end escort probably comes from a more privileged background so I say the streetwalker. 

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My money says cuddle partner situation is going to get...messy. Maybe.

Why is the Bee Gees playing in my head when I read your post?

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Because I strut often?

And I don’t know about messy. So long as the boundaries are what they are, it should be good. I mean, yes, if we got tipsy enough we’re already halfway there, but I don’t think either of us is confusing the situation.

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I have to agree with Odine. You don't wanna get me tooed if things go sideways, either.   Clingy people can get vindictive when feelings get hurt. 

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I don’t think you guys are quite getting her or the situation. It’s funny that I talked about dating a woman who introduced me to her husband, mention I really like the lady who goes to sex parties, but the one I don’t have sex and cuddle with has ya’lls torqued! 
 

If I get me too’d it’s going to be because of something I said on nightly 20 years ago.

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Nah I don't mean anything about me too or nothing, just reckon there is more chance of someone catching feelings by having high intimacy but no sexy times. It's the building of tension that makes me think it could get messy.

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In the past, I’ve had female friends that I could hang out and watch a movie with my arm around them snuggling. Some people just want human contact without the pressure of more. 

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46 minutes ago, Fozzie said:

In the past, I’ve had female friends that I could hang out and watch a movie with my arm around them snuggling. Some people just want human contact without the pressure of more. 

Yeah, same. Most of my closest friends have been female and while I'm not saying it's never escalated, there have been plenty of times it hasn't. Part of the deal with this friend is that I intentionally wanted to give her that without her worrying I was going to try for sex. 

1 minute ago, zambingo said:

I ask to hug my wife.

This tracks.

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I get the joke, but I often ask too. I'm pretty touch oriented, it's something I need on a pretty regular basis. She's usually fine with that, but sometimes she doesn't want it, and I don't want to put her in an uncomfortable position.

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I'm not sure if it's fully possible for men to truly and fully understand what it's like for women to be pretty consistently valued mainly for our ability to provide sex. But we are, pretty much from the moment our boobs begin to develop (if not birth). It affects literally every aspect of our lives. The world, and most of the people in it, regard women as little more than sexual objects. 

The amount of trust and bravery required to give physical intimacy (not sexual intimacy) to a man is enormous. Being able to trust that the man you're touching isn't going to "make a move" is so relieving. It's a level of comfort and freedom that's really hard to describe if you haven't actually felt that. It's sort of the emotional and mental equivalent of showering and laying down after a particularly stressful and physically taxing day, but instead of just a day it's a literal lifetime of expectations. 

So major props to any of you who can provide that for the women in your lives. 

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1 hour ago, Cerina said:

I'm not sure if it's fully possible for men to truly and fully understand what it's like for women to be pretty consistently valued mainly for our ability to provide sex. But we are, pretty much from the moment our boobs begin to develop (if not birth). It affects literally every aspect of our lives. The world, and most of the people in it, regard women as little more than sexual objects. 

The amount of trust and bravery required to give physical intimacy (not sexual intimacy) to a man is enormous. Being able to trust that the man you're touching isn't going to "make a move" is so relieving. It's a level of comfort and freedom that's really hard to describe if you haven't actually felt that. It's sort of the emotional and mental equivalent of showering and laying down after a particularly stressful and physically taxing day, but instead of just a day it's a literal lifetime of expectations. 

So major props to any of you who can provide that for the women in your lives. 

Thanks for sharing.
 

Honestly, there’s a flip side to it as well: men are pretty consistently told that the only type of physical affection that’s manly is sex, but a lot of guys I have physical touch as their primary love language. And it isn’t about sex at all, sometimes I just really need a hug, or to sit and watch TV snuggled up with someone (at this point either my wife or one of my children). It can be really hard for women to understand that men might just want that too. 
 

As a single guy, I also knew the women who I could do that with safely and who would develop emotions. One of my closer female friends I always kept at a physical distance because I knew she would fall for me if I let it go too far, and I wasn’t interested in her romantically. And eventually, after she started dating her now husband, she told me she was glad that I always kept us slightly distant.

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I feel like I’m living in a completely different world than some of you from reading this thread.  Not in a good way or bad way, just different

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7 hours ago, Cerina said:

I'm not sure if it's fully possible for men to truly and fully understand what it's like for women to be pretty consistently valued mainly for our ability to provide sex. But we are, pretty much from the moment our boobs begin to develop (if not birth). It affects literally every aspect of our lives. The world, and most of the people in it, regard women as little more than sexual objects. 

The amount of trust and bravery required to give physical intimacy (not sexual intimacy) to a man is enormous. Being able to trust that the man you're touching isn't going to "make a move" is so relieving. It's a level of comfort and freedom that's really hard to describe if you haven't actually felt that. It's sort of the emotional and mental equivalent of showering and laying down after a particularly stressful and physically taxing day, but instead of just a day it's a literal lifetime of expectations. 

So major props to any of you who can provide that for the women in your lives. 

So this is the thing that throws me. Because I can conceptually totally understand what you're saying here and such a situation sounds wonderful. But how does one not become very emotionally attached to someone who can provide that safe space for non sexual physical intimacy? I'd imagine that if the relief is so strong, one might get very strong feelings of attachment to the other if not outright feelings of love if the scenario happens often enough.

Just so we are all clear, I'm all for it. But if one is wanting to try and keep a relationship relatively casual this seems like the opposite way to go about it, emotionally at least.

Fully understand that I don't know anything about the reality of this situation of Tanks. Just trying to relate it to my own life and how things have gone for me in the past, based on his description.

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I guess I kind of had a friend in college like snuggle girl. We both had long-distance significant others and hung out with a big group of friends. I'm pretty short and so was he, so somehow the joke evolved that he was my boyfriend because we were the same height. He was actually a super supportive friend who I felt very safe with. But he was kind of my cuddle buddy who I could cuddle with platonically and felt very safe. He never tried to make a move, he was very devoted to his girlfriend back home and they're actually still married. My at-home boyfriend didn't make it through the first semester. We lost touch though after I started dating my husband, but we follow each other on LinkedIn. He was really supportive of me dating him when the other guys gave me shit about dating him because he had some super needy friends, even though they thought he was cool. (One of those toxic masculinity/frat situations.)

So basically, I can see it, but cuddle time will probably stop if one of you gets serious about someone else. Its more a time issue than anything else, I think.

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