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Ongoing Scouting Drama


Cerina
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This morning Trevor picked Noah up from the campout. Noah's scoutmaster had already left, and the two adults who volunteered to stay behind to wait for Noah to be picked up were Trevor's good friend (who also happens to be the only adult on the campout who knows what all has been going on and is firmly on our "side") and this crazy bitch who apparently feels threatened by Trevor. 

The only reason we know that this bitch has told people that she's been threatened is because Noah's scoutmaster (yes, the one who rejected the trans kid) told another friend of ours. 

So why, if she actually feels threatened did she volunteer to stay for Noah if there's a 50/50 chance that Trevor would be the one to pick him up!? (Higher if you consider how early it was on Mother's Day.) And why, if Noah's scoutmaster thinks that Trevor had threatened another woman would she NOT volunteer to stay (which you would think would be her responsibility as the leader anyway) or at the very least not ask someone else to stay!? 

This all reeks of the shittiest of bullshit. 

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  • 4 months later...

This bullshit came to a complete head this weekend. 

Now that we've pretty much moved to another city, Noah wanted to go on a campout with this old troop this weekend. We're all still registered with the troop, Noah as a scout and Trevor and I as leaders, so Trevor decided to go with him. After the last campout and the BIG MEETING where we finally sat down with leadership to discuss all the issues that I've brought up before, Trevor agreed to take a huge step back from the troop and take a break from attending events. 

Fast forward to Thursday night. Trevor decided he wanted to go on this campout because even though the bitch from the post above was going to be there, all the other leaders signed up are friends that we've missed these past few months. I told him to be safe, he should call Jason (good friend of ours and acting scoutmaster since the actual scoutmaster has taken a break for "family reasons" since her kid earned his Eagle...surprise surprise :rolleyes:) and get permission to attend since he hadn't actually signed up for it. Jason was super excited for Trevor to be there, so Trevor took a wad of cash and all of his own food since he hadn't paid any fees upfront and the food had already been purchased for the group. 

So Trevor resolved to be the scoutiest scout who ever scouted for this campout. He was pumped to be enthusiastic and cheerful and friendly and just a ball of energy and sunshine. This fool even SHAVED THE TROOP NUMBER ONTO HIS HEAD!! 

But then, the MOMENT they arrived on Friday, crazy bitch from above comes rushing over to Trevor telling him that he's not allowed at the campout, that he's unwelcome, that he has to leave, just...all of these things, on repeat. So Trevor just...snapped. He broke really. He tried to leave but Jason followed him because Jason was worried about Trevor leaving and driving angry in the dark. Noah's gear still hadn't been unpacked from the car yet. So Trevor and Jason talked. Trevor was trying to decide if he should take Noah with him. Jason started getting angry as well since, as a registered leader, this was the first he'd heard that anyone had been banned from camping with the troop AND because he was supposed to be acting scoutmaster for the boys' troop but this bitch told him that she was actually in charge. 

Then crazy bitch sent 2 dads out to the parking lot, nobody knows why, but these 2 guys just sorta came out of the dark wood upon Trevor who was already upset and starting to meltdown, and then he fucking just snapped. (I was later told that one of the dads told asked Jason for the whole story there because he's a cop and has seen many situations like this but didn't think that Trevor was being hostile.) Trevor had already been crying (literal wet tears) to Jason, and then these guys surprised him from the woods, then crazy bitch came back as well to tell him that it had been long enough and he needed to leave "our property" - they were at a state park btw. 

Trevor told me that he'd still been trying to figure out if he should take Noah and leave or let Noah stay. Jason decided that he was going to leave with his 3 kids in the morning. So then crazy bitch places herself between Trevor and the scouts, including Noah, and starts repeatedly telling him to leave. In Trevor's own words, "She stood there between me and my kid. She was blocking me from my son. So I left. I just left my own son there with her. I abandoned my own son because I was scared of what she would do to me next. I just...left him there..." This kills me. Of the 6 leaders there with the troop, 3 are good friends of ours and we trust them with our kids. Trevor is ex-military. The only reason that he could possibly feel that he was forced to abandon a child to this woman is because of how deeply her bullying bullshit has embedded itself into his psyche. 

So anyway, he left and went back for Noah just after dawn. Noah was upset and didn't want to go. Crazy bitch still kept telling Trevor he had to leave even when it was completely obvious that he was only there to help Noah tear down his campsite and pack up. She started recording him. He snapped at her to leave him the fuck alone. Then they came home. 

Trevor walked into the house yesterday, and when I hugged him, he crumbled. He just...broke. He was crying and shaking and kept apologizing to me and Noah. It scared me tbh. Then all day I kept getting texts from Jason's wife telling me what crazy bitch was telling the other adults at camp and checking in on Noah. (We joke that if we died these people would take Noah in like the Weasleys took in Harry. They have 7 kids and Noah is the only friend any of the kids ever seem to have over. They love him.) Crazy bitch actually had the audactity to tell everyone that Trevor's banishment was decided at a meeting he and I attended and was decided with the "last COR" (COR = chartered organization representative aka the registered leader with the most power and only person who really has the power to remove adult leaders = ME!! I WAS THE LAST COR!!!!!!!!!)

So now I have Trevor set up to start seeing a trauma counselor this week. Our old friends who went through pretty much the same thing in 2019 are putting us in contact with the BSA Regional Director who they dealt with last time. But it actually looks like crazy bitch is going to try to have Trevor kicked out of BSA altogether. 

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I know you say these people are friends, but they allowed Trevor to be insulted and assaulted. They allowed her to talk negatively to everyone behind his back. Sounds to me like you need to just give up and get involved in things where you are now.

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I hate to agree, but I do. Cut and bail with this Scout troop. If they want to stay with crazy pants that's on them. If they want to come see you outside of Scouts, great. But they are letting her do the bullying by not standing up because they don't want to deal with it. That's not what true friends do. If you want to stay with BSA, do it in your new 'hood.

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This story is starting to have a happy ending. 

This bitch found out earlier this year that getting rid of me wasn't going to be a walk in the park. I think I've written before about how they (she and a couple of cohorts) tried to replace me and were constantly trying to go over my head to make complaints. Their problem back then was the fact that the people over my head who they were complaining to are friends of mine and our friendships predate our scouting relationships, so every time they received a complaint about me they weren't pre-disposed to take it at face value because they know me better. So although that was very stressful for us, I came out with my reputation intact. 

Then this Crazy Bitch switched to targeting Trevor which was easier because he isn't as involved with our homeschooling association or scouting as I am. He's actually way more involved in both than your average parent or participant, but he's not as involved as I am/was as a Key 3 leader and BSA employee and board member of the homeschool association. He's respected and liked well enough in both circles though. But he's also big and loud and outspoken, way less tactful, and prone to speaking exactly what's on his mind. Really, he's easier to bait and doesn't have the same level of personal connections. 

As the story of this weekend has spread, more and more leaders and parents have been questioning what happened and why. Several people have brought up the past events with our other friends back in 2019 and see a pattern with crazy bitch being at the center of multiple incidents. I've basically refused to let Trevor talk to anyone aside from the Jasons because he's just not in a place to advocate for himself without it doing more damage to his own mental health. So I've had some pretty good convos with a variety of people since Sunday. 

Last night we actually received an email from the new charter org representative with her ideas on how to "fix" things. I think she's off the mark a bit and still not addressing the whole picture, namely crazy bitch's bullying, but it was absolutely NOT a win for Crazy Bitch either. The entire campout debacle was addressed as a "misunderstanding about registration procedures" with ZERO mention of Trevor's supposed "ban" (which wasn't really a "ban" but voluntary break proposed by me...anyway), and then she basically told Crazy Bitch that she needs to stay in her damn lane because a lot of the complaints other people had was that she was making decisions for both the boy and girl troops when really she's only the scoutmaster for the girls. 

I also talked to our District Executive (paid BSA employee), and he wants us to fill out an official bullying incident report for the paper trail. He also told me that he honestly believes this woman is a sociopath. Then I spoke to our homeschool association's current VP (who is more knowledgeable about scouts than the current board president and the president's BFF, so it's just easier to explain things to the VP and let her relay info to the prez), and she wants to call BSA and make it very clear that Crazy Bitch's complaints do not have the backing of the homeschool association and that they are considering her removal but have full confidence in the entire Hollen family. 

I think this time Crazy Bitch took her crazy out of the shadows and put it on display so many, many more people saw it for what it is. 

 

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  • 1 month later...

No drama, but I’m taking over as the chairperson for our pack. I’m going to work with the current chair this year as his assistant, and then next year he’ll be mine, and the following year he’ll be gone. We have some real challenges, we’re tiny and losing boys in part because the cost is skyrocketing because the national group protected sexual predators. $150 per boy is insane, but $138 of it leaves us. And it’s gone up each year so it’s probably going to be higher next year. We’ve got a couple families on scholarships, but we can’t really afford more than we have. So one of our first hurdles is to find a new income source to make it affordable. We got a new pastor in July and he’s an Eagle Scout so I’m hoping to get some money from our parish. 
 

I guess the drama for me is that I’m taking over a lot of control of a failing program and I want to see it succeed.

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Yeah the skyrocketing cost is part of why we haven't done it yet for my son. We were going to sign him up the year that they first starting raising prices and did it after registration. We went to one meeting and I forgot the registration paperwork and bullet dodged, because it was clear he wasn't mature enough after about 15 minutes. I was hoping to start him next year but still nervous about maturity level. We might look into Campfire instead, or Awana.

Don't blame yourself if the pack is already failing. Just do your best by the kids still there. My troop is struggling a bit this year, too; only about half the girls are showing up. Covid really did a number on scout organizations.

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There are many fundraising opportunities that aren't popcorn. They really push popcorn because a percentage goes directly to the council. But you can absolutely find better fundraisers out there. 

So why are your fees so high? National registration fees are $72 a year. Does your council have a high fee as well? In Houston, we paid about a dollar a month for additional insurance to council. Here in Austin, we pay nothing extra. If you have a smaller council that doesn't get as much corporate fundraising done, then I can see how they'd have to charge higher fees. 

Let me know if you guys want to sell boxes of greeting cards! I can run that for you. 

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