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Valentine's Day advice. Help!


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So, the other day I made a date with a woman for tomorrow, without realizing that tomorrow is Valentine's Day.  First dates are awkward enough for me, and now I'm feeling more pressure due to it being Valentine's Day.  Part of me is saying don't sweat it, its a first date and Valentine's Day shouldn't mean much under the circumstances.  But, another part of me thinks its a mistake to not acknowledge Valentine's Day in some way.  I'm not suggesting showing up with a whole bouquet of flowers or anything ridiculous like that, but what about one rose, just a small token acknowledging what day it is?  We met online and talked on the phone a few times.  Most of our exchanges have been through texts.  Tomorrow is our first time meeting in person.  I think I would feel a little weird showing up holding a flower.  That's a weird thing to do on a first date isn't it?  I'm inclined to think so, and its not something I would ordinarily do on a first date, but does Valentine's Day supersede normal convention on a first date?  I'm sure this post makes me look insecure and clueless, but I have a tendency to overthink things and I need to know if I'm doing that now.  If it wasn't Valentine's Day, I wouldn't even think of buying flowers, and if it wasn't our first date, I would buy flowers without giving it a second thought.  But a first date on Valentine's Day is messing with my head.  Help!

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Not a rose, but something smaller and less dramatic would be totally fine. You can even make a joke about it, how you didn't know if you should do anything or not. A little deprecating humor works pretty well on first dates.

 

Unrelated to your actual question, my response to the thread title without reading a single word of the post was

just fuck her right in the pussy.

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So a rose is too much?  Is there another breed of flower that's considered less personal?  What would you recommend?  I thought about a card instead, but I personally consider that even more personal than a rose.  I also thought about a balloon that says Happy Valentine's Day, but thought that was too cheesy, on the opposite end of the spectrum from the rose.  I just know I need to do something given the day, but I need to be careful given that this is just a first date.  

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It's been ten years since my last first date and I'm not knowledgeable about flowers so I'm not sure I can help with that, sorry bro (wife is in bed so I can't ask her either). But yeah I'd definitely pass on the card or the balloon.

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How about this.  I tell her I'm having Covid symptoms and cancel.  I never meant to schedule a date on Valentine's Day to begin with.  I would have never intentionally done that, for this reason.  

If any of our female members are reading this, please help!  What's my best move?  How bad would it be if I didn't get her anything?  I mean, its a first date.  She can't be expecting anything, right?  But then again, it is a date, and it is Valentine's Day....

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It’s really hard to say, since you already have some sort of relationship with her. If it was a blind date, I would say there’s no expectation. But, really, you should probably aim to do less.

You can come back from being the guy who didn’t do enough for a first date on Valentine’s Day. You can’t come back from being the guy who did too much.

But my last first date involved a dozen roses, but I had known her for a long time and we had been talking on the phone every night for a month. I already knew I was going to marry her. And then I did.

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Yeah, I was half-joking about canceling.  

I'm leaning toward candy now.  I'm not sure why I didn't think of it earlier.  Its not over the top like the other things I mentioned, but it acknowledges Valentine's Day and pretty non-dramatic way.  What do you guys think about the candy?

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Yeah, I wouldn't think there would be anything wrong with a single rose or some other flower like a carnation or something, and maybe a small box of good quality candy.  A small token that acknowledges the holiday, without getting all mushy about it. 

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Nothing wrong with a single rose on V-day. And nothing wrong with a little cheese on a first date that falls on V-day. Just, don't overdo the cheese. Just a little bit of cheese. Like one of those $1 heart boxes of chocolate that they make for kids to exchange that say something like "you're super, Valentine" with a picture of a generic superhero. And then just tell her that you wanted to acknowledge the day. Doesn't need to be anything more than that. 

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Valentine's Day is a load of shit, I wouldn't get flowers unless it's something you would naturally do if you were going on a date not on valentine's day. 

If compelled to do the flower thing, go to a florist and just pick something you like. There are loads of lovely flowers that aren't roses if you don't want to come off too overt. Peonies are awesome but a little expensive, but I would think they are more universaly appreciated than roses since they don't have any overt romantic symbolism and yet are very beautiful.

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In your texts/talks, has she indicated that she enjoys something in particular? If so, a small one of that thing. Coffee or tea is always a good not too intimate and not stalker-y gift, for example, if the recipient likes those things.

A card can work if it's not "I love you forever" or "my passion burns like fire" kind of stuff; if you know she has a sense of humor, go for low-key funny. Flowers work. Grab one of those relatively inexpensive, colorful mixed bouquets. Avoid candy, unless she has said that she likes chocolate or some specific flavor/type of candy.

Good luck, and don't put too much pressure on yourself. Focus on having a nice time and getting to know each other better.

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I would go with a carnation! Or something you can share that's fun. I would try and take it light and not freak out but I know it's hard. My first date with a guy he cut a heart out of red felt and gave it to me. I still have it to this day. That was over 27 years ago.

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I'd say go with the rose, even though I'm sure this post is too late.  You can make fun of the pressure you were under, by saying to her how you felt about what to do.   

Just say happy valentine's day, hand her the rose.  And, based on her body language, you could say hey is this weird?  Is it weird if I didn't have something for you?  

This all depends, too, on how your interaction goes.  Is it flirtatious?  Nervous?  Somewhat forced?

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Thank you all for the advice.  I guess you could say I lucked out because she ended up canceling.  Its a long story, but we had to do a zoom date instead.  I was kinda bummed about that but at least it took the pressure off of what to do.

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Oh man what a bummer. This reminds me of Rock having a thread setting up a date with a girl coming over for dinner, all the work and prep he did, all the advice he asked for, only for her to cancel. Don’t these girls know strangers on the internet were waiting to hear the juicy details??

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22 minutes ago, Darth Krawlie said:

Oh man what a bummer. This reminds me of Rock having a thread setting up a date with a girl coming over for dinner, all the work and prep he did, all the advice he asked for, only for her to cancel. Don’t these girls know strangers on the internet were waiting to hear the juicy details??

It’s like they don’t even care about us

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3 minutes ago, Cerina said:

Or just give us the juicy details of the Zoom date. 

That’s pretty obvious. They hung out, he masturbated, and then they said good night. 

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