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I’m so fucking tired guys


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We all know you love your kids, Krawlie. If you didn’t, you wouldn’t have posted.

23 minutes ago, Iceheart said:

That was me every day at my old job. They were not kind enough to give me a hug and send me home.

I’ve been telling people that the pandemic started for me in September 2019, they don’t believe me.

That’s pretty much me right now. I’m staring at my work computer and my brain just isn’t working. And I don’t know if it’s anxiety or neurological Covid crap.

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Appreciate it, from all of you! First day of school went great!

Lyra I'm sure has anxiety--or at least will when she gets older. Similar to Torch's kid, she's been having a tough time with simple math and breaking down over it too. Sometimes you just gotta hug the

distructive

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Lyra I'm sure has anxiety--or at least will when she gets older. Similar to Torch's kid, she's been having a tough time with simple math and breaking down over it too. Sometimes you just gotta hug them and stop the lessons for a day, even if it puts you behind the teacher's plan for the week. It's not worth it. They'll get caught up when they can.

And Nicole, for Eli... we haven't taken him in, but I wouldn't at all be surprised if he has ADD/ADHD (I'm not sure I fully understand the difference between those). He's very impulsive and toy obsessed, way more than his sister is, and can't focus on anything being said if there's a toy around, and of course he has entirely too many, and a birthday next week. Right now he's under threat that his birthday is cancelled and he has to earn it back after the trying-to-break-daddy's-face incident last night, though of course we're not actually cancelling it. You can't do that to a kid who's turning 5, just trying to scare him. BIG emotions is an understatement. We're hoping, with in person school two days a week beginning today, that he can hold it in and not erupt at school, and save it all for home. Lyra did that, as recently as just before the pandemic some days. Would definitely rather have him break our faces than some other kid's or the teacher's.

After dropping them off at school later this morning Katie and I are getting ice cream, coming home so I can keep working while she watches TV all day and we enjoy silence. Can't wait.

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4 hours ago, Fozzie said:

That’s pretty much me right now. I’m staring at my work computer and my brain just isn’t working. And I don’t know if it’s anxiety or neurological Covid crap.

Could be both - stress sets off neurological conditions. That's what ended that job and also is keeping me from my unemployment - too much stress made the fibro and depression flare, which upped the stress levels, which upped the flares...

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Jacob,  I am sorry to hear this, and hope something turns around for you and your family.  Not that you are looking for advice, nor do I really have any in this situation, but I am offering moral support.  

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My nephew Sonny used to be a nightmare. He would throw tantrums at the slightest thing, and have real trouble dealing with emotions and being able to communicate those in a way that wasn't either a tantrum or smacking something. At first we thought he might have behavioural problems or ADD or something, and he definitely ate way too much sugar in his diet. But he sort of starting getting a little easier on his own, and then when he went to school it was almost like night and day. He was a different kid. Well behaved, engaged and polite. And I think it was the environment, the learning and the routine. He was way happier and stopped all tantrums. He's now obsessed with nature, collecting frogs and such and letting them go. He loves fishing and bugs and insects and all kinds of animals. He's now the loveliest little dude. 

But for a while there everyone was on the verge of pulling their own hair out or smashing their own face against a wall. 

 

I've heard that a lot of toddler/young child tantrums and difficulty can (partialy at least)be frustration due to an inability to communicate complex feelings/needs properly. (Don't know when testosterone starts to be released in young boys, but that's sure to be a head job.) It might be as difficult for your kid as it is for you? 

I'm not looking forward to this development stage with my own son, who is currently a sweet, gentle little 1 year old. Anyone who pretends parenting is all sunshine and roses without difficulty is full of shit.

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I might honestly take a vacation day on Ethan's first day back to school and just enjoy myself. I love the little guy but I haven't had a break in 7 months. He is doing pretty good once his meds kick in, but some mornings are rough until they do. Today he did fabulous at school,  and I was super proud of him. He had a great day at occupational therapy, too.

The one thing I am learning about ADHD is that you have to be really careful about your parenting. Weve been doing PCIT since July, and we are finally starting to see results. It's super intimidating to start but we are finally getting results. Our parents all said that we needed to discipline him more and maybe he just needed some spankings like we were shitty parents. The truth is old school parenting made things worse. They made us feel shitty about medication because "some day he is going to have to be able to deal without it". Unfortunately, he may always be on it. Another mom described it as "glasses for your brain". If you can't see, you don't take glasses away on weekends or summer break. Some people outgrow glasses but many don't. It is really crazy the stuff we have learned, down to how many days you do a punishment for and what behaviors you actually punish. Like, this stuff should be a required class. I realized that both my husband and I were basically parented by our moms losing their shit and overreacting and calling that parenting. I'm actually starting to think my mother-in-law also has ADHD and my mom may have had ADHD or a learning disability. Its not letting them get away with things, its having reasonable expectations and known boundaries and above all, consistency. He is going to struggle with certain things, there's no point getting upset with him over things that are hard for him. Most kids get upset when something is hard.

See how he does back at school the next few weeks. My daughter has been 1000% better since going back to school in-person. Unfortunately Ethan loves being home with us lol. He thinks coronavirus is great! But I think we are going to swing our schedules to keep him out of after school care and I think that will go a long way. We have unfortunately had too many bad experiences that we have difficulty trusting people with our kids.

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15 hours ago, Darth Krawlie said:

Appreciate it, from all of you! First day of school went great!

Awesome!  We are seeing a lot of kids that parents were losing their minds with come back and be fine...granted we are still in the honeymoon period.  But online learning is so stressful everyone. 

6 hours ago, Destiny Skywalker said:

I might honestly take a vacation day on Ethan's first day back to school and just enjoy myself. I love the little guy but I haven't had a break in 7 months. He is doing pretty good once his meds kick in, but some mornings are rough until they do. Today he did fabulous at school,  and I was super proud of him. He had a great day at occupational therapy, too.

The one thing I am learning about ADHD is that you have to be really careful about your parenting. Weve been doing PCIT since July, and we are finally starting to see results. It's super intimidating to start but we are finally getting results. Our parents all said that we needed to discipline him more and maybe he just needed some spankings like we were shitty parents. The truth is old school parenting made things worse. They made us feel shitty about medication because "some day he is going to have to be able to deal without it". Unfortunately, he may always be on it. Another mom described it as "glasses for your brain". If you can't see, you don't take glasses away on weekends or summer break. Some people outgrow glasses but many don't. It is really crazy the stuff we have learned, down to how many days you do a punishment for and what behaviors you actually punish. Like, this stuff should be a required class. I realized that both my husband and I were basically parented by our moms losing their shit and overreacting and calling that parenting. I'm actually starting to think my mother-in-law also has ADHD and my mom may have had ADHD or a learning disability. Its not letting them get away with things, its having reasonable expectations and known boundaries and above all, consistency. He is going to struggle with certain things, there's no point getting upset with him over things that are hard for him. Most kids get upset when something is hard.

See how he does back at school the next few weeks. My daughter has been 1000% better since going back to school in-person. Unfortunately Ethan loves being home with us lol. He thinks coronavirus is great! But I think we are going to swing our schedules to keep him out of after school care and I think that will go a long way. We have unfortunately had too many bad experiences that we have difficulty trusting people with our kids.

This x1,000,000. 

ADHD is caused by irregular blood flow in the brain which requires medical treatment.  If a kid breaks his leg, you don't say, "just make him do sprints...that will fix him".

 

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On 9/30/2020 at 9:39 AM, Darth Krawlie said:

He has absolutely no control over his emotions. The slightest thing isn't perfect, he breaks down into hysterics, destroying anything he can get his hands on, screaming and crying, telling us he hates us and doesn't care about anything, etc etc, and it can last a very long time sometimes. 

Just this morning, on his own volition, he wrote the alphabet, both capital and lowercase, for the first time. It was great and we praised him up and down, took pictures to send to grandparents, told him to bring it in for his first day of in class school tomorrow (he just started TK). It was the kind of thing, as parents, you keep. He decided he wanted to tape the pages together. They weren't perfectly straight. He destroyed every page, destroyed his birthday chain, and took apart some of Lyra's Lego build. Took about a half hour to calm him down. This sort of thing happens several times a day lately.

I've been like this allllll my life. For me, it's anxiety and nobody knew about it when I was a kid so I was never taught coping skills. Can you teach him how to do square breathing or approach it from a clinical anxiety standpoint? I know nothing about kids. I'd just smack him around more so maybe don't listen to me?

 

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Nah, he freaked out cuz he tried to wipe with regular TP (usually uses baby wipes at home) and it came up with no poop on it. He didn’t realize that means his ass was clean, and demanded someone come and wipe for him, which of course the school doesn’t do. Then he wouldn’t pull his pants up to come out, screaming and yelling etc. But he’s in the car with us now and is happy. Just something we gotta work on more. We thought that one would sort itself out, but apparently not.

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Yeah, the teacher really didn't want to do it, she said it's the first time she's never been able to talk a kid down from a tantrum. Hooray us!

He'll be staying home until his bathroom habits are better--maybe next week, maybe next month, maybe January. We've talked to him a lot about it. Poor little boy was more scared than mad, at least when I got there.

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I would keep sending him, honestly. The classes we have been taking told us that kids need opportunities to practice skills. Practice at home for sure, but he needs more experience. They told us that loss of privileges at this age should be no more than a day because they need to practice those skills. That one was a real eye opener to me. We took some toys that Ethan was playing with away for a day and gave them back, it went pretty well and he did better with them afterwards.

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14 hours ago, Darth Krawlie said:

Nah, he freaked out cuz he tried to wipe with regular TP (usually uses baby wipes at home) and it came up with no poop on it. He didn’t realize that means his ass was clean, and demanded someone come and wipe for him, which of course the school doesn’t do. Then he wouldn’t pull his pants up to come out, screaming and yelling etc. But he’s in the car with us now and is happy. Just something we gotta work on more. We thought that one would sort itself out, but apparently not.

Ahh man, he did a ghost poo. That's the dream!

 

But in seriousness, sorry you're having a tough time with it dude 

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LOL we have now underlined why I prefer 4th grade as the lowest grade I will teach. HAHAHA. Now I'm possibly thinking just never teaching again. Just kidding. I am pretty sure I used up all my patience in a school day. I get really short with myself at home say like dropping a fork or bumping into a wall walking and have toddler like meltdowns. But I'm home alone and there's personal things I can do to make it feel better that involve rum.

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On 10/2/2020 at 1:43 PM, Darth Krawlie said:

Second day of school report: picking up Eli early because he won’t wipe or pull his pants up to come out of the bathroom.

POOR lil dude! He's exerting control the only way he knows how :(

 

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56 minutes ago, Darth Krawlie said:

distructive

I wanna know how hard does one have to throw their shoes to be distructive?  Did he head shot some kid?  Also, did he try to run out with just his socks on because he hates wearing only socks.  If he ran out with his socks on I know he was fired up about something. 

I want to tell them you really need a bit more professionalism in your observation reports and leave your relative, personal opinion out.  Just report the facts.  You don't need to say, "so distructive" because that is totally subjective.  Just say what happened and he had to go to the office for a time-out. 

There are a few other things that bother me about the report from a professionalism standpoint (not the my kid did nothing wrong and you are all to blame), but I need to learn to let that shit go. 

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