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I’m so fucking tired guys


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Appreciate it, from all of you! First day of school went great!

Lyra I'm sure has anxiety--or at least will when she gets older. Similar to Torch's kid, she's been having a tough time with simple math and breaking down over it too. Sometimes you just gotta hug the

Katie and I are both yellers. We work really really hard on it, because we KNOW it doesn't work. We can SEE it. But it still comes out, and it sucks.

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I was gonna get into details but even that is exhausting. Texting this morning Reese asked about the kids, since Eli's of my biggest stress points right now, but I just couldn't bring myself to answer cuz it'd take an encyclopedia to list the issues we're having. Plus I wasn't really looking for advice, just wanted to complain. I'm really good at complaining.

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He has absolutely no control over his emotions. The slightest thing isn't perfect, he breaks down into hysterics, destroying anything he can get his hands on, screaming and crying, telling us he hates us and doesn't care about anything, etc etc, and it can last a very long time sometimes. 

Just this morning, on his own volition, he wrote the alphabet, both capital and lowercase, for the first time. It was great and we praised him up and down, took pictures to send to grandparents, told him to bring it in for his first day of in class school tomorrow (he just started TK). It was the kind of thing, as parents, you keep. He decided he wanted to tape the pages together. They weren't perfectly straight. He destroyed every page, destroyed his birthday chain, and took apart some of Lyra's Lego build. Took about a half hour to calm him down. This sort of thing happens several times a day lately.

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Louis used to do the same thing. He was just ready to fall apart at the slightest thing. He's still got some control issues, but that's mainly when he's receiving a consequence, like being sent to his room or told he's lost something that he wants.  

It really sucks, though, and I remember at the time thinking that everything was terrible and he was going to have severe problems forever. Hopefully Eli grows out of it, but feel free to bitch here all you want.

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I'm so sorry. I really ought to read threads before I post in them. I'm actually glad you deleted my post as that would have been embarassing.

I know what you mean, to a certain extent. My energy levels have not been what they used to be lately.

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1 hour ago, Fozzie said:

Louis used to do the same thing. He was just ready to fall apart at the slightest thing. He's still got some control issues, but that's mainly when he's receiving a consequence, like being sent to his room or told he's lost something that he wants.  

It really sucks, though, and I remember at the time thinking that everything was terrible and he was going to have severe problems forever. Hopefully Eli grows out of it, but feel free to bitch here all you want.

I think he will grow out of it, it'll just take a very long time. Lyra had issues turning into a volcano like this too, but she wasn't anywhere near as destructive or hateful. She'll have her moments but has mostly grown out of it, and I think Eli will too. She's always been more emotionally mature than he is and while he's ahead of where she was at this age in a lot of ways, this is one area he's definitely behind, by a lot.

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Hopefully some interaction will help. Louis really needs it, although fortunately Eliza has become his best friend since school stopped and seems to pretty well meet his social needs. 
 

Girls also definitely mature faster than boys, which I never believed until I had kids.

Parenting manages to be incredibly awesome and soul sucking at the same time.

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He just threw a heavy toy at my face because I didn’t understand something about a sticker. Heavy and hard and close enough that if I hadn’t blocked it, I’d likely have a broken nose.

Two days ago he did the same thing in the car on the freeway to Lyra.

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Ouch. Glad you were able to block it.

When Louis was little I read a blog post, maybe Honest Toddler? Anyways, it was written from the perspective of a toddler and talked about emotions too big for their body. I like to think of it that way, it really helps me when things go south.

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Did you ever read The Whole-Brain Child by Dr. Dan Siegel? That one was life-changing for how we dealt with Luke. It's a good mix of research-based science and practical advice. But also, that level of anxiety and perfectionism is worth telling your pediatrician about, if you haven't already. 

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We've read so many books, I honestly can't remember if that's one of them or not.

I didn't intend for this to turn into Jacob bitches about his kids thread. I love my kids to death, my proclivity for complaining makes me seem a lot more shitty about them than I intend. Work has been exceptionally hard this month, with an increased workload in my usual tasks, and being included in another big project on top of it. The state of the world certainly isn't helping. I wouldn't say I'm any more stressed or tired than anyone else, not something big enough to worry about, I'm just really fucking tired.

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We're all parents here. It's the damn hardest job anyone can take on. ESPECIALLY when there are extra challenges. I don't think anyone thinks you're just complaining about your kids. 

I mean, if we want to turn this into a general bitching session, I can definitely unload about how much of an utter failure I've been regarding pretty much everything lately. 

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The state of the world is 100% exacerbating everything-- even little kids who aren't fully aware of what is going on. Everyone is unhappy and out of their routine.

My kid, who says he has been loving not having to go to school, broken down today, overwhelmed by all the hOmework he is getting because all his teachers worry they aren't doing enough.

He hasn't snapped like this since he was 6 or 7. He's been holding a lot in.

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My son Dylan also broke down, with major tears, the other day. He was just sitting there staring at the computer trying to do math school work. It was a simple refresher on subtraction. My initial reaction, internal thankfully, was like what the heck my dude. I was so focused on his computer screen that I hadn’t noticed he had started crying.  Everything shut down for him mentally and emotionally. He couldn’t even remember the word subtraction. I just shut the computer down and offered a hug. School was done for that day.

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Jacob, do you think the problem is impulsive behavior and big emotions? That's been a big thing with both of my kids. Ethan was obviously diagnosed with ADHD, Quinn outgrew a lot of it (the whole girls mature faster thing) but she's still occasionally impulsive/hyperactive. We've been trying to tease out whether she has anxiety or ADHD (Impulsive/Hyperactive, she is definitely not Inattentive). So far we've determined she definitely has anxiety and maybe ADHD, too. Sigh. There are a lot of people who can't deal with high energy kids, and that's annoying.

I ask because we should've gotten Ethan diagnosed in preschool. No one was freaking understanding about it, they were all reluctant to label him when he was "so young". All it did was put us way behind in getting him help. Like Cereese said, bring it up to the pediatrician. Our pediatrician had marked impulsive behavior on his chart way back when he was 3. Didn't even think to mention ADHD until he was almost 5 and we had the daycare try to diagnose him as autistic. (Don't get me started on that.)

All that said, COVID sucks ass and it may be good to see how he does not cooped up at home.

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My kid is old enough to stay up late and google in bed about anxiety, OCD, ADHD, and dyslexia and convince himself he has all of them.

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6 hours ago, Spider-Man said:

My son Dylan also broke down, with major tears, the other day. He was just sitting there staring at the computer trying to do math school work. It was a simple refresher on subtraction. My initial reaction, internal thankfully, was like what the heck my dude. I was so focused on his computer screen that I hadn’t noticed he had started crying.  Everything shut down for him mentally and emotionally. He couldn’t even remember the word subtraction. I just shut the computer down and offered a hug. School was done for that day.

That was me every day at my old job. They were not kind enough to give me a hug and send me home.

I’ve been telling people that the pandemic started for me in September 2019, they don’t believe me.

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