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I have a bruised testicle


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Topic title speaks for itself.

 

But if you want more information (and why the hell would you, you perverts?), my almost 5 year old, Eliza, ran in for a hug yesterday. Only she had her arm up with her elbow pointing out and rammed her elbow into my junk. I went down hard, just was on the floor for a couple of minutes, and finally got up. Figured it would get better. Iced it. Took ibuprofen. Didn't help. Went to Urgent Care today, the nurse practitioner told me to drop my pants, so I did. After a couple minutes of looking, she sent me to the ER, where I got a whole bunch of people to look at my junk, and did an ultrasound to ensure I was okay.  Turns out it's just bruised and swollen, nothing serious, but damn it was a waste of a day.  Plus I think I doubled the number of women who have touched my penis.

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I went to the ER, in doctor recommendation, about three weeks or so into shut down because there was a lump in my sack. It had been a little uncomfortable for a day or two before then, but soon as I felt basically a third ball, I called and they said to go on. Went through basically the same as you: a lot of ball touching and an ultrasound. It turned out to be just a cyst that went away on its own, but I did get this incredible statement in my discharge papers. All time great.

 

 

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One of our friends in college made the mistake of telling us he was worried because he had developed a large lump on one testicle. I told him dude, its your balls, go see someone. He did and it was an ingrown pubic hair. Occasionally I like to remind him of his third testicle. He's married to a doctor now, so she thinks its hilarious. (Side note, that's the wedding I attended in Columbus where I met Brando.)

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Shit I didn't even think about the vasectomy: finding out during surgery I have high tolerance for local anesthetic, needing multiple shots and having the doctor sigh and tell me how most people don't need that much, getting infected at the incision site, taking months to get clearance... It took eventually, but I had to bring in vials of *** to the office so many times. One leaked on the nurse's hand. At least she had a glove on?

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7 hours ago, Odine said:

fuck getting a vasectomy 

Honestly, it was worth it, even with the high amount of pain and several shots I needed to get through it, plus the infection, plus the long time it took to work. To never have to worry about getting Katie pregnant, I'd do it all over again if I had to. Who likes wearing a condom, anyway?

17 minutes ago, monkeygirl said:

WHat's it feel like to get nailed in the junk? Like what KIND of pain is it? I don't know how you guys walk around with your precious hanging out your bodies

 

Feels bad man. Even the softer, more glancing blows hurt a lot.

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4 hours ago, Darth Krawlie said:

Honestly, it was worth it, even with the high amount of pain and several shots I needed to get through it, plus the infection, plus the long time it took to work. To never have to worry about getting Katie pregnant, I'd do it all over again if I had to. Who likes wearing a condom, anyway?

Feels bad man. Even the softer, more glancing blows hurt a lot.

I mean, there is the coil. And other non-hormone implants

Edited by Odine
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That can be rejected by the body. I've never tried it, but I've heard a few bad stories from my friends.

Not that I'm saying you need to slice up your own balls, I'm just saying, some people definitely see it as the best overall option after considering all the other options.

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I’d just like to say that my wife and I have been married for 11 years and used natural family planning that entire time, without any unplanned pregnancies. So there are other, less traditional means. 

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4 hours ago, monkeygirl said:

WHat's it feel like to get nailed in the junk? Like what KIND of pain is it? I don't know how you guys walk around with your precious hanging out your bodies

 

Hard to explain without a frame of reference, but I would say a much sharper, more intense pain than getting punched in a kidney.   That's the closest description I can think of.  Maybe for a woman to understand, it might feel like a really horrible menstrual cramp, or injury to an ovary?

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1 hour ago, Odine said:

I mean, there is the coil. And other non-hormone implants

That's for women only though. It does nothing to ensure a man doesn't impregnate a woman. 

Within a stable hetero monogamous relationship though, the responsibility for not producing more offspring shouldn't lie solely on the woman. Especially when you compare the overall effects of various surgeries, devices, medications, etc. that are available. Even non-hormonal implants and such can do a number on our bodies. I got one after my 2nd was born and it made me absolutely insane for almost a year. I honestly constantly felt like I was on the edge of a cliff and any little thing was likely to throw me over. My marriage suffered. My children felt it. It was terrible all around. And I didn't even lose my period!! Instead I bled 3 out of 4 weeks a month. Even Tank and Krawlie's ordeals seem like a walk in the park in comparison. 

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