Guest Posted September 14, 2020 Share Posted September 14, 2020 Topic title speaks for itself. But if you want more information (and why the hell would you, you perverts?), my almost 5 year old, Eliza, ran in for a hug yesterday. Only she had her arm up with her elbow pointing out and rammed her elbow into my junk. I went down hard, just was on the floor for a couple of minutes, and finally got up. Figured it would get better. Iced it. Took ibuprofen. Didn't help. Went to Urgent Care today, the nurse practitioner told me to drop my pants, so I did. After a couple minutes of looking, she sent me to the ER, where I got a whole bunch of people to look at my junk, and did an ultrasound to ensure I was okay. Turns out it's just bruised and swollen, nothing serious, but damn it was a waste of a day. Plus I think I doubled the number of women who have touched my penis. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth Krawlie Posted September 14, 2020 Share Posted September 14, 2020 I went to the ER, on doctor recommendation, about three weeks or so into shut down because there was a lump in my sack. It had been a little uncomfortable for a day or two before then, but soon as I felt basically a third ball, I called and they said to go on. Went through basically the same as you: a lot of ball touching and an ultrasound. It turned out to be just a cyst that went away on its own, but I did get this incredible statement on my discharge papers. All time great. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 14, 2020 Share Posted September 14, 2020 But they didn't say anything about mouthfeel. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cerina Posted September 14, 2020 Share Posted September 14, 2020 Krawlie's unremarkable testicles ranks right up there with Tiger King as one of the best parts of 2020 lockdown. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Destiny Skywalker Posted September 14, 2020 Share Posted September 14, 2020 One of our friends in college made the mistake of telling us he was worried because he had developed a large lump on one testicle. I told him dude, its your balls, go see someone. He did and it was an ingrown pubic hair. Occasionally I like to remind him of his third testicle. He's married to a doctor now, so she thinks its hilarious. (Side note, that's the wedding I attended in Columbus where I met Brando.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth Krawlie Posted September 14, 2020 Share Posted September 14, 2020 the balls come full circle Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tank Posted September 14, 2020 Share Posted September 14, 2020 This is my favorite thread. I got a vasectomy and had serious bruising and soreness for a couple weeks, and it turns out it didn't take. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth Krawlie Posted September 14, 2020 Share Posted September 14, 2020 Shit I didn't even think about the vasectomy: finding out during surgery I have high tolerance for local anesthetic, needing multiple shots and having the doctor sigh and tell me how most people don't need that much, getting infected at the incision site, taking months to get clearance... It took eventually, but I had to bring in vials of *** to the office so many times. One leaked on the nurse's hand. At least she had a glove on? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cerina Posted September 14, 2020 Share Posted September 14, 2020 I really need you 2 to convince Trevor to get a vasectomy. It sounds like a simple ordeal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zerimar Nyliram Posted September 14, 2020 Share Posted September 14, 2020 Man, that sounds awful. I hope it gets better soon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 14, 2020 Share Posted September 14, 2020 Thanks. Gotta put some ice on it again soon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iceheart Posted September 14, 2020 Share Posted September 14, 2020 You rang? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Odine Posted September 15, 2020 Share Posted September 15, 2020 fuck getting a vasectomy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 15, 2020 Share Posted September 15, 2020 21 hours ago, Iceheart said: You rang? Even joking that makes me hurt. But maybe I just need someone to kiss it and make it better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
monkeygirl Posted September 15, 2020 Share Posted September 15, 2020 WHat's it feel like to get nailed in the junk? Like what KIND of pain is it? I don't know how you guys walk around with your precious hanging out your bodies Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth Krawlie Posted September 15, 2020 Share Posted September 15, 2020 7 hours ago, Odine said: fuck getting a vasectomy Honestly, it was worth it, even with the high amount of pain and several shots I needed to get through it, plus the infection, plus the long time it took to work. To never have to worry about getting Katie pregnant, I'd do it all over again if I had to. Who likes wearing a condom, anyway? 17 minutes ago, monkeygirl said: WHat's it feel like to get nailed in the junk? Like what KIND of pain is it? I don't know how you guys walk around with your precious hanging out your bodies Feels bad man. Even the softer, more glancing blows hurt a lot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Odine Posted September 15, 2020 Share Posted September 15, 2020 4 hours ago, Darth Krawlie said: Honestly, it was worth it, even with the high amount of pain and several shots I needed to get through it, plus the infection, plus the long time it took to work. To never have to worry about getting Katie pregnant, I'd do it all over again if I had to. Who likes wearing a condom, anyway? Feels bad man. Even the softer, more glancing blows hurt a lot. I mean, there is the coil. And other non-hormone implants Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iceheart Posted September 15, 2020 Share Posted September 15, 2020 That can be rejected by the body. I've never tried it, but I've heard a few bad stories from my friends. Not that I'm saying you need to slice up your own balls, I'm just saying, some people definitely see it as the best overall option after considering all the other options. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 15, 2020 Share Posted September 15, 2020 I’d just like to say that my wife and I have been married for 11 years and used natural family planning that entire time, without any unplanned pregnancies. So there are other, less traditional means. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zathras Posted September 15, 2020 Share Posted September 15, 2020 4 hours ago, monkeygirl said: WHat's it feel like to get nailed in the junk? Like what KIND of pain is it? I don't know how you guys walk around with your precious hanging out your bodies Hard to explain without a frame of reference, but I would say a much sharper, more intense pain than getting punched in a kidney. That's the closest description I can think of. Maybe for a woman to understand, it might feel like a really horrible menstrual cramp, or injury to an ovary? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth Krawlie Posted September 15, 2020 Share Posted September 15, 2020 My wife had an IUD before our first and then again before the second. It's not a very good lifelong choice, and she's had bad reactions to every kind of birth control pill she's tried. Minor discomfort (and a great story) for myself for a short time is worth it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 15, 2020 Share Posted September 15, 2020 My son accidentally got me today, a hit that normally wouldn’t do more than hurt for a few seconds. I almost threw up from the pain. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Odine Posted September 15, 2020 Share Posted September 15, 2020 You don't have the greatest luck when it comes to health, ailments, accidents etc lately do you Brando? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iceheart Posted September 15, 2020 Share Posted September 15, 2020 Brando, just wear a cup around your kids already. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cerina Posted September 15, 2020 Share Posted September 15, 2020 1 hour ago, Odine said: I mean, there is the coil. And other non-hormone implants That's for women only though. It does nothing to ensure a man doesn't impregnate a woman. Within a stable hetero monogamous relationship though, the responsibility for not producing more offspring shouldn't lie solely on the woman. Especially when you compare the overall effects of various surgeries, devices, medications, etc. that are available. Even non-hormonal implants and such can do a number on our bodies. I got one after my 2nd was born and it made me absolutely insane for almost a year. I honestly constantly felt like I was on the edge of a cliff and any little thing was likely to throw me over. My marriage suffered. My children felt it. It was terrible all around. And I didn't even lose my period!! Instead I bled 3 out of 4 weeks a month. Even Tank and Krawlie's ordeals seem like a walk in the park in comparison. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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