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Weird dreams


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In my dream, I was creating a new trivia game called Beat the Weasel. In the game, you had to answer more questions correctly than a weasel.

 

So off I went to ask a weasel some trivia questions. Of course I went to the beat place to find a weasel: the college in my hometown.

 

I went straight to the administrative offices and explained my needs. A woman directed me to a specific secretarys office. Noteable that in this dream, this secretary had an office, in a building full of secretaries without offices. I did not ask why she had an office, though I was curious.

 

So I go ask this woman and she gives a big sigh, and then walks out of her office carrying a huge weasel. This was like the size of an opossum.

 

I immediately started going through my trivia questions and the weasel gets every question wrong because it is a ****ing weasel.

 

The end.

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In the past six months or so, every dream has been a variation of this:

 

Either Im being chased and have to run and hide, or Im somewhere Im not supposed to be and need to stay out of sight/run and hide. I always have at least a newborn baby with me, often also a toddler. And I almost always head for the basement, although sometimes I climb for a tower no one else knows how to access.

 

Or! Its the end of my vacation and I have to pack and get to the airport, but things keep happening - the bag is too small, theres a bad traffic jam, I forgot my passport, etc, etc.

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I have loads of weird dreams that fall into a number of categories. The most common involves me being in a huge building with lots of rooms and hallways. Sometimes, it feels like a school, other times, a hospital (like maybe the part where all the administrative offices are, or something), and in some cases I couldn't say what kind of place it is. There are always lots of people coming and going, doing whatever they do in dreams, and I'm always mildly annoyed because I'm looking for a particular room and can't find it. Or I'm trying to find the exit, but every door leads to another room, or to the wrong street. I remember in one such dream, I decided, "I'm going to look under this stairway and there's going to be a door." And there was! It was a small door that I otherwise wouldn't have seen. I went through it, and there was a sort of courtyard that opened up onto the street where I needed to be. I think on some level, I realized I was dreaming, and simply created an exit out of sheer frustration. I wish my real-life problems were so easy to solve.

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I had a very vivid and detailed dream a few weeks back. It's rare for me to remember my dreams, what happened in them, what people said, but this is one of those exceptions. I haven't been able to get it out of my head since the morning I woke up from it.

 

Here's what happened :

 

I am in a large university auditorium. A benefit gig for the end of the world is being held. Chris Gethard is MCing. He says, "Please welcome to the stage one of the funniest people ever. Melanie <phfffmmmll>." He obscured her last name by rubbing the back of his hand against his lips when he said it.

 

As she comes to the stage the crowd starts chanting, "Folderol! Folderol! Folderol!". An extremely beautiful woman takes the mike. She is redheaded, freckled, and wearing an elaborate purple gown. Her shoulders are bare and the front of the dress (forgive me - I know nothing of fashion) is sort of tapered forward like ... the nib of a fountain pen? She is holding a purple office folder in her other hand.

 

I look down at my desk. I have a folder just like hers in front of me. I look around at everyone else and they all have folders in front of them too. I realize that to the left of me is a sort of inset space within the auditorium, like where the accompanying orchestra would be during a play, an orchestra pit. There's a choir standing there in orange robes and they are all holding their folders open. Like hymnals.

 

I open the folder on my desk too. It contains several sheets of old computer paper, yellowed and stained and crumpled. They're at least a decade and a half old. Written on it are what I assume to be Melanie <phfffmmmll>'s jokes. I skim read through the first page and it's the funniest material I've ever seen. I look through the other pages, quickly, and realize that not only is this woman incredibly funny but since this stuff is so old she's probably gotten even funnier in the interim. I can't wait to hear this stuff aloud and I'm excited at the possibility she might even try out some new bits tonight.

 

She starts to speak. She says, "Yes, I'm Melanie. Yes, I'm over thirty. Yes, I still plan on getting married. In fact, by the way you swallowed it all down, it's going to happen at the blast site." It's hilarious but I feel sad because the world is ending, we're all going to die at the blast site (???), and I get the sense that no future with this beautiful funny woman is even possible for me. I wake up.

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You guys know The Break-Up Song, by The Greg Kihn Band....

 

It starts with:

Living together for a million years,

Uh, uh, uh; uh, uh, uh, uh,uh....

 

I use to ALWAYS have dreams where everyone in the dream would finish their sentence with 'uh, uh, uh; uh, uh, uh uh, uhhh'.

 

I had that dream almost nightly for about a three year span. Uh, uh, uh; uh, uh, uh, uh, uhhh!

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  • 2 weeks later...
  • 2 weeks later...

I still have a reoccurring nightmare where Lou Ferrigno’s Hulk hunts me. I’ve had the nightmare since I was a kid. Essentially no matter where I hide, nor how I hide, the Hulk will bash open whatever I am in and then do that flex growl that Lou did. The last thing I see before I wake up is the Hulk’s open hand coming towards my face.

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I have had recurring dreams my whole life:

It is the last day of a semester and I completely forgot about a class that I need to graduate.

I am driving a car and I am side swiping other cars, hitting mailboxes, etc.

Last night my oldest son (he is about to turn 4) told me he has had the car dream too (someone else was driving). 

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I have this reoccurring dream where I’m either in HS or college and it’s finals week and I discover I have a class that I haven’t been to all semester and it’s the only thing holding me back from graduating. It’s weird as fuck. And when I wake up from it I have all this fucking anxiety built up and it feels so real. 

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