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The house is fixing to be closed on that my brother and sister live in on August 26. My brother had to start throwing away stuff of my sisters so he can have the house empty by the time our Dad and step-Mom arrive tomorrow. So yesterday a friend we hire to help grandma went over to help Tina pick through her stuff and pack and sort. At 11 PM Tina started screaming. Tim ignored it. By 10 AM today she is in a mental health hospital who can do dialysis because something happened between that time Sunday night and this morning.

 

Dialysis people have no number to call now for Tina like they did when Mom was alive to check to see where she is. They called me this morning. I tried to call her all morning from 6 AM forward.

 

Tim called the emergency services people at 10 AM when he found her unresponsive on the floor. Her head and face were cut and swollen and her eyes were dilated.

 

She either had an extreme bipolar episode where she hit herself so hard she gave herself a concussion.

 

She has drugs in her system possibly. I don't know where she would get them. She has no money.

 

Her place is like a tornado went through it.

 

She is exactly 6 days from moving in with me.

 

I can't even.

 

My stress levels are through the roof.

 

I spend 45% of my time helping my kids in digital learning. The other part creating good online lessons, grading and doing work. And any free time is getting my house ready for Tina after I work my stupid second job this whole weekend when I wanted part time hours.

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Oh my God.

 

In all seriousness - can you do this? Tina is going to require more hands-on work than both of my kids combined. Do you have a contingency? I don't want to see you succumb to stress and anxiety by taking on this heavy burden.

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Jesus.

 

Could you possibly get her into an assisted living or nursing home? It sounds like caring for her is a full time job, and you already have two of those. I know it sounds weird to talk about living like that for a fairly young person, but my mom worked for one up here that specializes in residents like Tina - both physical and mental health issues bad enough to require trained staff present 24/7 kind of care. And Medicare/caid covers it.

 

Prayers up for you.

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There is a 1 year wait time for her to get in a special care facility when I last talked to the people in Arizona. Apparently if I were rich I could get her into a fancy drug rehab program place group home but I can't afford 40 grand for the fees a month. Once she lives here and we get her on Texas' version of medicaid I am going to look into that. Meantime, I may have to quit job number two when I need it the mostest. I think it's just hitting her hard that this is it. She's leaving the house she knew for 28 years as home and that Mom is truly gone. I am working from home during covid for school so that helps. But man if she has a bipolar episode in the background while my kids are watching it will be better than cat bortholes.

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He is my other brothers problem starting tomorrow after he gets all the money from the house. I feel really bad for his cats and am SUPER worried for them because he's talking about declawing them. I just told him to get them spayed. They're all female and Matt doesn't want them destroying the house. I keep telling Tim if he declaws them he will have more trouble with them than if he just gets them spayed and their shots. I have a horrible feeling he's going to dump them so he can take all his money and go to Vegas.

 

Still haven't talked to Tina. She's under sedation until the head injury stops swelling. Dad is about 2 hours away.

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Yeah, now we're haggling over where she will stay once she is out of the hospital. I say rehab because she'd have a way to dialysis and it will be her home dialysis clinic. My Aunt wants her to live with Grandma. Which is okay I guess but it's in the middle of no where and the nearest dialysis has a 2.5 star rating. Her dialysis clinic is 5 star and we love her social worker. And more help at night when she may have trouble at rehabs. We'll see. I just want this over. It's endless. I'm trying to teach and I am the third wheel between Dad, Aunt Elaine and Nan, Tim who's in Sedona on vacation not giving a crap about his cats and the doctors who only communicate with Aunt Elaine and Tim.

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Sooooooo just for Tami - Tim Story Time.

 

Tim closed on the house yesterday at 11 AM. He packed up a Uhaul with HIS stuff that he wanted to keep. Nothing of Moms. And he's on vacation. He didn't even say bye to his Grandma. He's in Sedona with his terrified cats vacationing on his way to Las Vegas and then he's going to go live with his brother in GA. He is avoiding the border patrol because he's carrying weed. At least a dime bag. LOL

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I would steal his cats if I could.

Mary Katherine is a sweet siamese old lady.

Kipper is the sweetest boi and I cleaned his whole body of mats over the course of this year and he LOVES me.

Heidi will bite me and eat me in my sleep.

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Heidi has given my scars.

 

So super good juju. PLEASE. They were doing dialysis today in the hospital and she started struggling to breath. Turns out she has fluid in her chest and they had to put a tube in. She's back on the ventilator.

 

Please don't die, Tina. I was looking forward to living with you regardless of the way everything is up-ending my life. Plus your cat, Sheba, misses you super bad.

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We got into it on text message last night when he stopped in El Paso last night overnight on his way back from Las Vegas. Apparently Vegas was a bust for vacation because of Covid. He thought he could come here and stay and asked me. I said nope. He's mad that Dad is on his way back from AZ with Tina's things from the house to put in mine. I was like she is going to be in the hospital according to her doctors until WAY past Labor Day weekend and she can't have visitors so why would they spend money on a hotel to stay in AZ? And he says she's Dads daughter and he should do more for her (this is after they sent a schedule to him like a spread sheet detailing where they would be during the whole week because Dad is like that). He's also upset the hospital no longer gives him updates about her. Then he told me he didn't abandon her. I lost it. I was civil until he said that. I reminded him he informed his other brother and I he was done with her when Mom died. He hasn't done jack for her except be rude and talk down about her and yes, he did pack up his stuff, throw her stuff away in front of her, put everything in a his Uhaul he wanted and left. AND if he had taken her to the hospital when she actually asked instead of sleeping in she'd be in Texas right now but he chose to sleep in and let her lay sepsis on the bathroom floor for almost 11 hours. So yeah, keep on going down i-20 and get to your brothers house you high mooch. He then ignored it and texted a group pics of his vacation in Sedona with all of his family. Not even mentioning that Mom wanted his dumb ass to be the one who opened the Special Needs Trust that I had to do and pay for. And he got all the money while I have to find a new place to live and move so Tina can have a room of her own and I can sleep not on a pullout couch in my living room.

 

Literally this dude can fuck off.

 

Tina's lung collapsed during dialysis in the hospital on Friday. I don't know what's going to happen. She's got pneumonia. But I know my brother is a selfish dick.

 

I am so mad I can't sleep and I am exhausted. This year can really just stop. I'm done.

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Spam, I hate to ask this? But have you and Tina ever had a good conversation about her desire to live? Given her fragile state, you may want to think about this if she is going to be in the hospital for an extended period of time. Are you medical POA at this point? You may want to consider different scenarios like intubation (sounds like you already went there) or cardiac arrest. Pneumonia is really scary and I watched my mom go through it 3x (and the final time is when we let her go). You can talk to the Pallative Care people about different orders for the different scenarios. They are really compassionate and will not pressure you in any way, just walk you through different processes and may be able to share some experiences.

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I have. She wants to live. So far the doctors are not recommending palliative care. So I am hopeful. Once she's here we're going to work on a living will and maybe making me POA so I can make choices and my awesome lawyer who did the SNT for me is helping with the steps for that right now. I look like a crazy hoarder right now because there's a billion smoke laden things on my porch right now.

 

Oh and she has no shoes at all. Dad accidentally packed up every pair of shoes she has so when she gets released I'm going to have to get shoes to her.

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