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So guys, there are 2 potential hurricanes headed to my house next week. I figure this God's plan to rid the world of Trump voters. Maybe if he comes down here and starts throwing paper towels at people they'll decide not to vote for him.

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Laura is my wife's name and she will firetruck **** up.

Fun fact: this is a hilarious joke before the hurricane hits. It is not a hilarious joke when the death count and stories of raping and pillaging start getting reported. It continues to be not hilarious when people who dont know you make it immediately upon meeting you. Its really not hilarious when the occasional asshole still makes it upon meeting you 15 years later.

 

I hope for her sake the storm is a dud.

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Laura is my wife's name and she will firetruck **** up.

Fun fact: this is a hilarious joke before the hurricane hits. It is not a hilarious joke when the death count and stories of raping and pillaging start getting reported. It continues to be not hilarious when people who dont know you make it immediately upon meeting you. Its really not hilarious when the occasional ***hole still makes it upon meeting you 15 years later.

 

I hope for her sake the storm is a dud.

 

I hear ya. Maybe we should start naming powerful storms names that already are thought of negatively:

 

Hurricane Adolph

Tropical Storm Osama

Hurricane Unabomber

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Dude, that wasnt a lecture, that was the reaction you get when someone has heard the same terrible joke about their name for 15 straight years, and they dont have to smile and pretend its the first time theyve heard it because they are in a situation where theyre forced to be polite.

 

And I dont see what the two posts above yours have to do with it. To be fair, Luke and Laura was long before my time, and all I know is that Luke rapes Laura and then they later get married.

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Man, I just saw on the news some flooding in Louisiana because of Marco. Looks eerily similar to Katrina, and later this week Laura is supposed to hit the same area. Just speaking of the weather crises alone, between the hurricanes, tornadoes, floods, and the heat wave causing all kinds of fires in the Southwestern states, 2020 sucks!

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Okay. So here's a Trump voter for you from Louisiana I talked to yesterday.

 

I want to order that Freedom Check design for Trump. I want to add a special phrase above the signature line saying GOP for LIFE.

 

Okay, sir, I can do that.

 

Great. I wanted to go to the convention but this stupid fake virus and stuff canceled it. I want to show my support for the greatest president ever....

 

Cutting in. Sir, can I please get the names and addresses and your work information that you have printed on your checks.

 

He gives ME ALL of that information spelling everything out interspersed with more Trump nonsense.

 

And then we get to delivery.

 

I let him know because of the hurricanea that the free basic shipping - nontrackable bulk mail - may take longer than normal to arrive. Did he want to see about having the checks rushed? I can get them to him by Tuesday before Marco hits. ( LOL me trying to get my upsell in).

 

Oh no, the Post Office is fine to ship my checks. I always get them in two days. He then proceeded to tell me all about how he still got mail in Katrina. I was all WTF? You live in NO. You did not get mail during Katrina you fool.

 

I think all Trump voters have dementia.

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Isn't NOLA basically ground zero for Marco and Laura? Between that, and all the postal service reform going on, who knows if he'll ever see those checks. Except in his own mind.

 

Also, I 100% pictured this guy dressed like a dbag punching Trump in the shoulder all GOP 4 LYFE!!!!

 

My last hurricane joke came from a customer interaction with a guy like that. In between confusing the fuck out of me with all his weird little demands, he then gave me a recommendation for a right-wing political movie, so I can educate myself on what's going on out there.

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I used to know a guy name Richard Johnson. I don't know how he survived childhood.

So Galveston is under a mandatory evacuation. Several parts of SW Harris County are under a voluntary evacuation. We're as far NW Harris County as you can get, but I think we're going to take everything from the backyard, put it into the garage and then head to San Antonio. My MIL keeps calling to see if we're going to come there. Personally, I'd rather head to Austin - both my mom and sister have more space for us, but at this point it would be insulting if we didn't go to my MIL's place.

My sister and BIL are buying an 18 acre country home near Waco. They're also buying a bunch of toys for it - 2 ATVs, a UTV, archery targets and supplies, a playscape for kids, a pool, a hot tub, a bunch of fishing gear since the property has 1800 ft. of river bank. So from here on out, every time we have to leave town, that's where we're going. No questions. We go where there is woods and space and toys and no racist grandparents.

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