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Jedigoat
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Hello, I'm Jedigoat. This is my new thread. Welcome. I haven't posted much in, what, 13 years? So I have about 13 year's worth of thread ideas to post. Most of them are irreverent nonsense, and since Lando is gone, I don't know where in the shiny hell to post any of it.

 

In the Lando days, if you posted an abstract thread in Mos Eisley, you get looked at the same way Rose's mom looked at Jack in that giant boat sinking movie.

 

Sooooo, I don't know what the hell to do.

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One time I had to poop real bad but the only operating bathroom was in use so I grabbed a garbage bag, took into the garage, and had an explosion. Fortunately I got it all in the bag.

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I've always wondered... and since Goat is a doctor and poop has come up, has anyone else ever weighed themselves right before, then after a poo? For data collecting purposes.

Absolutely. Results were disappointing.

 

RIGHT?!?!?!

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I took out the trash and realized Im so ****ing bored of being at home that I just cleaned the ****ing trash cans themselves

Reminds me of a Mitch Hedberg joke:

I would imagine the inside of a bottle of cleaning fluid is ****ing clean. I would imagine the inside of a vodka bottle... is ****ing drunk.

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I've always wondered... and since Goat is a doctor and poop has come up, has anyone else ever weighed themselves right before, then after a poo? For data collecting purposes.

Absolutely. Results were disappointing.

 

RIGHT?!?!?!

 

The worst is when the scale tells you that you somehow gained weight during that process.

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When I was younger (not sure if I was a kid or a teenager but I was still living with my parents) I weighed myself before and after Thanksgiving dinner, and somehow dropped four pounds. Realistically it was probably just a ****ty scale.

It was one of those reverse Thanksgivings. The turkey eats you or it eats your stuffing or everyone eats drinks your gravy. Something like that.

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