The quarantine needs to end. No, I am not a COVID-19 denier; I'm saying all of this, including the virus, needs to end. I've got sever cabin fever. As a natural introvert, I never thought I'd be craving mass human interaction, but I am. It used to be such an internal struggle within me whether I wanted to go out of Friday night or not, not being a socialite; I never imagined that such a privilege would disappear, or that I would miss it so much.
The governor of Pennsylvania has had each county undergo a three-phase reintegration, from red to yellow to green (green still having severe restrictions), and now he's closing bars and restaurants again, mandating that stores can only accommodate 25% occupancy, and other such things. Even if I could theoretically go out, nothing says "good time" quite like a sea of masks! Some people I know go to Ohio because the bars are open there, but that seems like an awful long distance to travel just to drink, especially if driving is involved, and an Uber would be impossibly expensive to travel that distance.
You have no idea what level of anxiety and depression I'm dealing with because of this. I've begun looking for a new job, but everything else has screeched to a halt. I can't go to the gym, and my home workouts have dwindled down to nothing because I hate the lack of space, so all that progress I've made over the last year is quickly becoming undone. I want to go back to school for an education in IT, but I can't even begin to fathom how I'm going to tackle it so I'm just not moving on it. It's hard to be motivated to do anything because of this God-accursed virus!
I mentioned in other threads that I'm seeing a psychologist. She's a psychologist, not a psychiatrist, meaning she can offer solutions but cannot diagnose or prescribe medication. I've been talking to her over the phone instead of in person since this COVID crap began (another missing human interaction that has me on edge), and the last time we spoke this past Monday, she said she was very concerned about me and wanted me to make an appointment with the psychiatrist before our next meetings, to see if perhaps antidepressants might do me some good, or to consider any other solution beyond her capabilities. That means I'll be seeing two therapists in the near future--twice as many as a normal person--so that's fun.
Some other crap is that I haven't seen more than half my church's congregation in forever, haven't seen my godson or his parents in forever, and some bishops are doing things in the Church in regard to the distribution of Holy Communion (in response to COVID) which I absolutely despise and think is blasphemy against the Eucharist, betraying the fact that many of them are just "playing church," enjoying the pomp and ritual rather than actually believing what they preach. But that's neither here nor there.
So yeah, I'm very much feeling like a caged animal here. I feel restricted and I feel like the whole damned world is going insane. This. Has. To. End.
I'm posting this thread because I couldn't get through to the office to make an appointment with the doctor today, and I feel like punching a whole in the wall even as I type this.
Just for the heck of it, here's a photo of me taking my freedom for granted. Before the dark times. Before the virus.