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that that redneck down the street who spends the whole summer setting off m80's routinely posts "Support Our Troops!" memes on Facebook?

 

Our local news just ran a story that despite all fireworks being illegal until the 29th, people in the city have been going nuts most nights, and veterans are calling the police FREAKING OUT quite understandably so because, y'know, war zones can look and sound like a fireworks display if you don't know what you're looking at, and the reason we support our troops is because they go off to those war zones and sacrifice their physical and mental health so those war zones don't come any closer.

 

Meanwhile, I haven't heard anyone set off an m80 in a while. Now that I'm thinking about it, this is weird. My neighbors love blowing **** up. Maybe they're visiting friends in the city or something.

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That's basically the summer version of "It's Decorative Gourd Season, Mother****ers."

 

Only decorative gourds will only harass my neighbors if they happen to come over and happen to squish a rotting gourd.

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Where I live, nobody has any business setting off fireworks because its hot AF, and we already have a rash of wildfires.

 

Every time I see the pop up stores selling fireworks, I want to kick the owner in the nads, and punch all the Bubbas standing in line for their fireworks, in their throats.

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In my area, you can't throw a rock without hitting a fireworks pop up store. Someone must have created a clone army using Joe Exotic, Larry the Cable Guy, and Dog the Bounty Hunter as templates to stand in line to buy their fireworks, here.

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Im auditioning costumes with masks, but lets face it, I havent been to a Halloween party in years, thats pain flare season. And I seriously doubt there will be any festivities beyond very small house parties this year, anyway.

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