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Trying To Make Sense of Something That Happened Twenty-Two Years Ago
Posted 20 June 2020 - 08:12 PM
My kids have been asking a lot about my past lately, and I recently remembered something that happened a long time ago, and it sorta ties in with the other thread but Id rather start my own.
Now, this isnt actually something Im trying to understand. I was young and stupid, and thats more the point: just sharing a story of being young and stupid with girls.
I was involved in the theater department in high school, and every year we did a showcase of stuff from the intro to drama as acting classes. My junior year I was taking an acting class and my teacher originally tried to match me up in an awesome Noel Coward scene with a girl in the class and two stoner guys who couldnt remember more than a sentence at a time. Wasnt going to work, and I told her. She agreed and paired me up with the girl, Laura, to play a young couple just falling in love. It was a great scene, and we were chosen to perform in the showcase.
I lied and said I had a family thing that night because the scene involved us kissing each other on the cheek, and I was afraid to do it in front of my friends. So I bailed on holding hands with a beautiful girl and kissing her cheek, and being kissed on the cheek by her, because I was afraid of my friends teasing me.
So, yeah, people thought I was gay in high school.
Posted 20 June 2020 - 09:12 PM
I have a similar possibly even sadder story from the same age. When I was a kid Id go to my Aunts to swim often, across teh street there was a girl. Lets call her Laurie for our purposes. We were pretty good friends. She was always a pretty girl, one year ahead of me in school. One summer the year I turned 14, my bday is in August, I went over there to swim and Laurie went from being a pretty girl a year older than me to being like basically a bombshell. I went from being completely friendly with her to barely able to talk to her. We were the 2 oldest kids whod be at the pool and shed often even invite me to her parentless house across the street because the little kids in the pool were annoying. She wanted to "play computers". Ofcourse as I could barely speak to this girl in her bikini Id say no for gods know what reason.
Looking back I have no idea if anything would have happened. Certainly the fact that I was too shy and scared to even go would have meant she would have had to be really aggressive. But for a quiet, shy 14 year old kid to be invited back to a house alone with a girl a year older who was insanely hot and wearing a bikini just makes me shake my head.
Its one of the hundreds of times in my life I wish I could just go back and shake my younger self and say "are you an idiot or something?" Ofcourse I was.
Posted 20 June 2020 - 09:16 PM
That's okay. People thought I was gay in high school because -- I got to leave class early for lunch because I went to a technical center for the last three periods of my day. So, one day, some kid and his friend, neither of whom I had ever seen in my life, were waiting for me in the empty hallway so the one guy could ask me out. Which, I declined, because that is definitely not how you ask a girl out, cornering her in an empty hallway with backup while she's alone, and I sure as hell was not going to reward his behavior. So, when I declined, he told me he was going to tell the whole school I was a lesbian. And I realized that that didn't bother me in the least. Especially if it kept the immature losers who went to my school away from me.
This can be the "why people thought I was gay in high school" thread.
Posted 21 June 2020 - 12:53 AM
If anyone thought I was gay in high school it was because I kissed girls. Once topless. At a concert. While on our friends' shoulders. But I really don't think "lesbian" was the prevailing opinion after that incident.
I did have, however, my fair share of "if I knew then what I know now" moments. My lab partner in electronics was this super-popular super-hot boy, a cheerleader actually so also super-strong and flexible, and we were lab partners because he actually asked me to be his partner. This was like the 3rd day of class. On the first day of class, he sat behind me. On the second day of class, the kid sitting next to me was like "oh yeah...here ya go, Cooper" and changed seats so Cooper could sit next to me. None of this even registered with me at the time. In fact, after our teacher told the class to partner up for our first lab, this other kid (super obnoxious loud-mouthed lil' **** he was) was like "Oh Cooper knows who he wants to partner with!!", and it still wasn't until many years later that it hit me that Cooper might've actually liked me. I honestly thought at the time that he wanted to cheat off of me or something.
AND THAT doesn't even hold a candle to this - the football player that I had a MAJOR crush on used to come lay down by me during our history class together. Sometimes with his head on my lap. Our teacher would allow us to sit however we wanted during her lectures, so I would sit on the floor with my back to the wall facing the chalkboard/projector screen (omg I know I just aged myself). Eventually he started sitting by me. Then laying down by me during lectures. Then one day he just put his head on my lap while I was taking notes. I, also, legit thought he was trying to cheat off of me somehow...AND I HAD A MAJOR CRUSH ON HIM THO!!! I cringe at this memory.