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Icy Watches Horror To Manage Her Anxiety


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Come back and we'll go eat some TCM BBQ. And watch Hamilton with captions on.

Okay, I finally watched the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Which was appropriate, because retrograde Saturn moved into Capricorn today.   I can see why you wanted your homage to be an art house hor

I didn't love that one.   If you like mumblecore horror though, check out They Look Like People.   I'm assuming you've sen It Follows, right? It sort of kicked off three different trends in horror all

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I didn't know The Terror was based on a book. I watched the Japanese Internment Camp season as it aired, but haven't seen the Franklin Expedition season. The second season definitely counts as horror.

 

Upon reflection, I want to see a sequel to Jane Doe where

the corpse ends up in a female coroner's office who also happens to be a descendant of a Salem witch line. She gets to the cavity analysis + hauntings and is like "Hol up, this isn't a Jane Doe, this is Biddy Newton! Grandma warned me about her when I graduated!" So the coroner is like "Okay, auntie, I fully understand why this started but it's been 400 years and now you're targeting my other community of people who just want to give a voice to the deceased. And spending 400 years with your soul tied to a mangled corpse that just keeps getting dissected can't be fun. Let's just undo this curse and get you moved on to a better place." But the cursed witch's corpse is perfectly insane after 400 years of torture and would like to continue cursing people, thank you, so an epic witch battle ensues. If I were to write this movie, the final battle would involve the coroner screaming "I'LL BRING YOU PEACE WHETHER YOU WANT IT OR NOT, BITCH! I HAVE SCIENCE AND MAGIC!" which is a terrible line and this is why I don't write movies or really anything anymore. Jury's out on who wins. Seeing as how it's not lost on me that I'm watching scaries on the screen to make some sense of the scaries in my head, seeing the adversary defeated is the healthier ending. But that would eliminate a third installment.

 

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The Franklin expedition is the one that's based on the book, which of course is based on the real expedition--literally one of the ship's names is Terror. From what I know the internment camp season is a completely original idea.

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It was a really good original idea, at least. Let's face it, tv shows going off book for the first time haven't always succeeded, if you get my drift.

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Soooo, apparently the heat migraines are a Thing now.

 

Vivarium. Not horror as in scary or horror as in gory but horror as in "dear god I would not want that to happen to me." It's also Adulting Horror... suburban horror + parenting horror. I read a review that it's the perfect movie about being in quarantine, and yeah. Not the best movie ever, but intriguing.

 

P. Dau the Teenage Witch is coerced into moving to Bangkok and working as a prostitute in a club like the kind foadi likes. She uses magic to move up the ranks, but when she starts utilizing curses she doesn't follow the rules and fucks it all up. The gore is mostly suggested (beyond lots of blood spatters), and the scares aren't very scary, but there's something very likeable about the characters, and the writing is really good for a cheesy horror movie. Dau and Pookie are #friendshipgoals.

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Hagazussa. Are we calling this horror? There was nothing in that movie that would be out of place on Game of Thrones, and that's not considered horror. I'd call this a dark historical drama.

 

It was beautifully shot and well-acted, but most scenes lingered too long. That was very #aesthetic in the first half of the film, but in the second it's so vague and trippy that I lost patience on the long shots and just wanted the damn story to advance.

 

And WTF was up with that baby? I never saw her diapered or swaddled, was she just peeing and shitting all over her mother, and the sheepskin in her crib? Why was she just left alone in her crib for hours on end when she's clearly accustomed to being worn and also HEY CHILD NEGLECT? I looked to see what the internet thought, and apparently it's unclear if the baby ever existed, or if it was a stillborn she had been hauling around, but how would the village lady see the baby and comment positively on her appearance? Unless that was a hallucinated exchange. This one's a mind-bender if you try to make sense of it.

 

Note to self: if I am ever suddenly befriended by a woman/women who want to take me to a remote place and then pick up a male friend on the way, just stop right there and tell them that you have no interest in being raped tonight, and head home and cut ties with all of them. Because that's not just a rape set-up, that's a rape with life-ruining-and-ending consequences set-up, as the remote place is usually a haunted house (Ju-On: Origins), or in a forest with psychedelic mushrooms that give you a flat-out Hippie Babysitter trip (Hagazussa). Hard nope.

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Is that not how you ended up at the gay peacock farm orgy fest with the lasagna?

Edited by Cerina
Autocorrect bs. A+ for understanding anyway.
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No, I had known her for ages. And we didn't pick anyone up on the way. And I just got fed lasagna and had a very pleasant afternoon.

 

As Above, So Below. Probably the best Dungeons & Dragons movie ever made. For the record, I have met a LOT of archaeologists, and not a single one knows Krav Maga (I do know a journalist who studied it briefly, tho). Or knows how to use a bullwhip. More than you would think know how to use an atlatl, tho.

 

If it were me backtracking my way through Hell, I'd not only be punching demons in the face, I'd also be screaming "fuck OFF" in their faces because that's basically how I handle scary situations. As you can imagine, I'm a joy at haunted house attractions.

 

In conclusion, if you basically want to watch the National Treasure cast go dungeon raiding in Silent Hill, this is your movie.

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No, I had known her for ages. And we didn't pick anyone up on the way. And I just got fed lasagna and had a very pleasant afternoon.

 

As Above, So Below. Probably the best Dungeons & Dragons movie ever made. For the record, I have met a LOT of archaeologists, and not a single one knows Krav Maga (I do know a journalist who studied it briefly, tho). Or knows how to use a bullwhip. More than you would think know how to use an atlatl, tho.

 

If it were me backtracking my way through Hell, I'd not only be punching demons in the face, I'd also be screaming "**** OFF" in their faces because that's basically how I handle scary situations. As you can imagine, I'm a joy at haunted house attractions.

 

In conclusion, if you basically want to watch the National Treasure cast go dungeon raiding in Silent Hill, this is your movie.

I enjoyed that one. I only remember the broad strokes of it, but it was a good premise.

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Try The Descent if you want to feel claustrophobic

I dont think I can feel claustrophobic, tbh. Vastness scares me way more than tight spaces. Gravity would be more my speed if I want to scratch that itch.

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Last night was Hellraiser, and We Are What We Are. Not a pairing I would recommend if you're weird about your double features making some kind of thematic sense, like I am.

 

Okay, I wanna know who designed the demons first, Clive Barker or Kentaro Miura for Berserk? I fully expected Guts to come riding in to hack the head off a Cenobite while yelling GRIFFITHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

 

The 80's puked all over this movie. I mean, everything about it screams 80's. But despite how dated it feels, the visual effects, especially the whole Frank thing, were really impressive considering the time period and that it's all clearly practical effects.

 

What I should have paired it with? Re-watching Berserk is always a good idea.

 

I actually paused We Are What We Are right after the first family dinner scene to go get some food, starting with pork strips left over from the dinner fajitas. You think that's bad, back on a college trip I and a bunch of other anthropology majors horrified a very full Applebees in northern Indiana by discussing an article about funerary cannibalism over our dinners.

 

So, having formally studied the subject of religious cannibalism, I'm confused by how the tradition started. Nothing in the diary that we got to see said anything about the family's cannibalism being anything but need-based, Donner Party style. So, how did it turn into a religious ritual that survived centuries? And how did they fit it into Christianity? Despite having a backstory, nothing really explains why these people are cannibals. They eat people once a year for mumble mumble Jesus reasons.

 

The movie itself moves slowly, but the performances kept my interest until the end.

 

What I should have paired it with? The Witch, also about a doe-eyed blonde coming of age under an insane religious father's watch and with Evil lurking just out of frame.

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Try The Descent if you want to feel claustrophobic

That movie is EFFFFED up! It has what is basically a very pissed off Smeagol, and most of it takes place in a cavern

 

I have a weird form of claustrophobia that only happens when I go in natural subterranean places like a cavern or cave, where I panic and need to get out. I felt like that through the whole movie!

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For me at least, it has to be natural. And low ceiling. I get this irrational thought that the cave ceiling will collapse on my head. But if it is an open cavern with a tall ceiling, like Carlsbad Caverns or something, I am ok.

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Diableros, seasons 1 and 2. Netflix show set in Mexico City, where Elvis Infante, Exorcist for Hire, and his family avert the apocalypse time and again.

 

Man, this show has a bleak view of spirituality. Priests are by in large ***holes who get women pregnant and then dump them (not to mention harboring an evil secret society), angels are basically absent, witches are by in large evil with the exception of Keta, but only because she's never been trained properly, and demons basically run amok and everyone knows it.

 

Despite all that, it's got a whole lot of comedic elements.

 

Not scary horror, but an amusing story with typical horror themes. And it goes well with my tactic of watching international TV to make up for not being able to travel this year.

 

btw, my Diablera tagline for my business card would be "She makes evil her bitch."

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If you liked DiabLera, you'd dig Ash vs The Evil Dead... .but if you're going to watch THAT, you need to watch Evil Dead 2 and Army of Darkness first.

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My bro, I grew up on Bruce Campbell. He's a local hero. My dad will quote Army of Darkness all the live-long day. But I couldn't get into Ash vs. The Evil Dead. It just lacked the zippiness of the movies for me.

I've been comparing Diableros more to Preacher.

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Paranormal Activity 3. Okay, I see why they make so many of these now. They get better as they go along. Since when does that happen?

 

I kinda got tricked into an evil witch story, tho. I might as well just ****ing watch Hereditary already (Ari Aster gave a promotional interview where he talked about his research, and I was just plain offended, and I'm still mad at him and doing my damnedest to not give him any money).

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