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Icy Watches Horror To Manage Her Anxiety


Iceheart
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How all of these horror movies have impacted my IRL scare level:

 

Last night, as I was just drifting off to sleep, something randomly fell off a shelf.

 

My first thought? Gosh, I wonder how long that was tottering on the edge before it finally gave up and fell?

 

So, uh, not really at all.

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So, I tried watching Winchester the other night, and quit about halfway through. It was so boring.

 

And I technically watched Demonic last night, although that movie tries to do far too much, and I was mostly cleaning my room and scrolling through the internet instead of actually watching it.

 

It may be time for the free Shudder trial...

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Its amazing how many things go into movies, and how much alignment is needed to take great parts and keep them great in the whole. I mean, they got Helen Mirren for the lead, for chrissakes. It should have been great.

 

Since the Shudder trial is only a week, I need to plot my course of action before actually signing up, so thats my homework assignment right now...

 

And I watched We Are Still Here last night. Kind of The Lottery mixed with a cursed house story. Really well done.

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When I read that I thought you were still talking about movies and I was curious about Amazon having an entire section of muumuu movies.

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Have to? You know you want to.

 

Hellbound: Hellraiser II, wherein Pinhead demonstrates a far better command of the concept of consent than many frat boys. Which makes that reveal of the chatterer being a little boy even crazier. Thats one of those big jawdroppers of horror, isnt it?

 

I still expected Guts to ride in and kill a bunch of Cenobites with his honking big sword, and I still want to know who influenced whom there.

 

Is Tiffany a Hemsworth IRL? She is just like the female version of Chris Hemsworth. To the point where it was distracting.

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Dark Touch. If I have learned anything from watching Irish horror movies, its that Irish social services are terrible.

 

The little girl who played Niamh looked disconcertingly like my cousin when she was that age. Also, how do you get a name that sounds like Eve with an N sound in front from that combination of those letters? How do Irish children even learn how to spell?

 

And seriously, how can one class have THREE severely abused children, and no one seems to notice let alone care? Every adult was just stupid here at every turn.

 

Good movie if a difficult subject to watch. Makes you wish it was set in the X-Men universe so Dr. Xavier can give Niamh a good home.

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I saw a story on the news this morning that Coffin Experiences - basically haunted houses where you lie in a coffin the whole time and the actors come to you - is being touted as a Covid stress reliever in Tokyo. Apparently my people are in Japan.

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I've now watched so many horror movies that the algorithms of all the streaming services I use (beyond Disney +, which I have used to watch Frozen 2, Hamilton, and Black is King and that's it) just recommend horror movies, and I'll go in like "I think I feel like a comedy tonight!" (scrolls through home page, gets shown 3 million horror movies) "Never mind, gonna watch horror instead!"

 

Hell House LLC: okay, between the Paranormal Activity movies and this, I can see why found footage is such a popular genre, you can do some really interesting stuff with it. I especially liked the scene where they're doing the lighting test and you realize that he's definitely not in there alone. The ending was well done, too.

 

Apparently the sequels are on Shudder. I think I'm going to save my free trial for Halloween week, since they seem to have the bulk of the explicitly Halloween-themed movies, and I've been mostly saving those for the holiday itself, since it'll probably suck IRL this year.

 

The Bye Bye Man. I just wouldn't do well with murderous demon/ghosts you call up yourself. Not fearing them takes their power away is the secret to dealing with IRL bullies, too, and I've had 30 years of practice doing that. As a matter of fact, it's one of the things I'm including in my lecture to the college kids in February as one of my two core Customer Service lessons. If someone told me the Bye Bye Man's name, I'd be like "sup, Voldemort. Can I pet your dog? Is he a good boy? I'll bet he's the goodest boy, aren't you? What's his name? Are you the Bye Bye Pup?" and he'd be like "Lady, you're castrating me here!"

 

That being said, it was well done, kind of a Ring vibe, and surprise Carrie-Ann Moss!

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Okay, I watched Midsommar.

 

The good:

 

It was a beautiful movie

 

It was a well-acted movie.

 

There were some very interesting explorations of community grief and catharsis.

 

The bad:

 

It was derivative AF.

 

I mean holy shit was it derivative. Not just The Wicker Man, but stuff like The Lottery, too. And other things. I was keeping a running tally in my head, but I was also smoking (and during this movie was the first time the Bob kittens have come out to eat and wander around while I'm in the room, so I was a little distracted).

 

It still doesn't make sense to me that they have a MAY QUEEN for a MIDSOMMAR celebration that is explicitly stated to be in JUNE. And you know Ari Aster knows about The Wicker Man, some scenes were practically lifted right off of it, so you know he knows that Beltaine exists, too. All of the rituals in this movie are far better suited to May Day than Solstice in any kind of traditional paganism. It's like he tried to change his just enough so no one would notice he copied off the kid in front of him, but he ended up making it look more obvious. At least to people who know what they're looking at.

 

And I thought The Wicker Man's ending was more effective for horror. The Harga at least make a show of taking it very seriously and somberly. Summerisle is downright giddy about watching a man burn.

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In The Tall Grass. Which I had no interest in until I learned it was based on a Stephen King and Joe Hill novella.

 

It was okay. Definitely more King than Hill. I know it's a novella made into an hour-and-a-half movie, but I would have liked more explanation of what the grass and the rock actually were, beyond just sinister.

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I... had some movies on in the background while crocheting and watching kitten play last night, so I... kind of watched them?

 

Silent Hill - I'll have to re-watch this one, because it's all about the visuals, and I had to keep an eye on stitches, so this was not a great crochet movie. That being said, I thought it would be more like As Above, So Below, so I was surprised that the demons were not the bad guys in the end.

 

Lords of Salem - which was made in 2012, so I won't get too mad about demonic witch bandwagon hopping, they proceeded it by about 5 years. One thing I've noticed about most of the "satanic witch" stories in Hollywood is that there's no choice involved. The MC is typically a perfectly lovely, kind, normal woman who discovers that she's always been a SATAN WITCH deep down inside and didn't know it. But Satanism is all about choice. That's the whole point of Satan himself - he's there to TEMPT you into evil, but you have to make the choice to listen to Satan or choose God. These stories don't make a lick of sense when you come at them with logic. I know, laughable coming at a horror movie with logic. Especially when you consider the bulk of what makes horror scary is being in a situation that you have no control over, and this is the ultimate expression of that fear. I get the why, I just think past it.

 

Anyway, actually a pretty cool movie, although why anyone would call a bunch of women the "Lords" is puzzling to me.

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