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Trying to Make Sense of Something That Happened Last Year


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Choc can certainly be abrasive, but hes far from a troll. Weve had trolls here, and Choc is nowhere near that level. But, youre right, he was a jerk in this thread and it was intentional. Not sure where he got the idea that everyone was just telling Zerimar that he was fine, though, since I literally gave the same advice but did it without being cruel.

 

Im also entirely not offended by Choc not wanting to be friends with me, but I dont understand his lack of empathy and understanding of other people becoming friends.

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All y'all need to come to the next Zoom meeting.   ZN...I will put on a Spotify techno playlist, buy glow sticks, and turn my light on and off the whole time you are in the room.

lol

I'll add, Zerimar, that being reflective is a great thing- trying to make sense of things in order to better ones self is an admirable thing. So kudos to you. But also don't try over think things, it

Choc can certainly be abrasive, but hes far from a troll. Weve had trolls here, and Choc is nowhere near that level. But, youre right, he was a jerk in this thread and it was intentional. Not sure where he got the idea that everyone was just telling Zerimar that he was fine, though, since I literally gave the same advice but did it without being cruel.

 

Im also entirely not offended by Choc not wanting to be friends with me, but I dont understand his lack of empathy and understanding of other people becoming friends.

I agree, I was wrong in this thread and I admitted it a couple of posts ago and aplogized. At least I think I did and if I didn't then I will do it now. Im sorry Zerimar for how I behaved in this thread. I was over the top and I am sorry for that. Im not apologizing for the what I said as much as how I said it while realizing that the how is often just as important as the what. So I am sorry.

 

I have no problem with other people being friends. Who I am to say who is or isnt friends? I explained my thoughts on it a few posts ago so I won't do it here again. Really though it goes back to the whole idea that Zathras said that I make people feel "small". My answer would be why give me that power? Why would anyone care so much about what I think that it would affect how they feel about themselves? Who the hell am I? Would would anyone here value my opinion to that point? I'll tell you right now that no one should.

 

Really though Zathras says Ive been in "knock down drag outs" but Ive never considered any interaction Ive had here to be anything of the sort. When Im discussing whatever movie or tv show or whatever its like Im playing a game. If I play you 1 on 1 in basketball Im going to try to beat you 21-0. I may even throw some elbows to do it. But when its over its over, no hard feelings. Its just basketball. I usually stay out of threads like this for a few reasons, the first of which is I don't feel I know anyone here well enough to really comment and offer help. I dont know made me comment here but I did. This place is the toy dept, its the candy store for me. Why would anyone get upset if I say your opinion of a movie is stupid or silly or whatever. I mean its my opinion of a movie so who the hell cares? Why would anyone get upset if I disagree with them on that? Like I said earlier why would anyone value my opinion so much to get upset over it?

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Choc can certainly be abrasive, but hes far from a troll. Weve had trolls here, and Choc is nowhere near that level. But, youre right, he was a jerk in this thread and it was intentional. Not sure where he got the idea that everyone was just telling Zerimar that he was fine, though, since I literally gave the same advice but did it without being cruel.

 

Im also entirely not offended by Choc not wanting to be friends with me, but I dont understand his lack of empathy and understanding of other people becoming friends.

I respectfully disagree and I stand by my last post. I'm not saying he's a jerk 100% of the time, few people are, but if being abrasive and an intentional jerk and all around disagreeable towards some nightly members isn't trolling, then we probably have differing opinions on what a troll is. Is he a troll at the god-like dickhood proportions that Amanda, Tommy, and Bodega were? Not by a long shot. Those people earned their ban, something by my estimation, and probably everyone at nightly, Choc hasn't come anywhere close to doing. But I believe he walks the line of being trollish at times. When he wants to discuss things like a normal person, he does have interesting things to say, but let's not kid ourselves, either. He does display troll-like tendencies more so towards some than others, and I am not talking about people having varying degrees of thickness of skin.

 

As for being offended by the notion he doesn't want to be friends with any nightly members, that doesn't bother me in the least. If his posts are any indication of his personality and thought process, I'm not sure who would want to be friends, anyway. But his failure to express the slightest common courtesy and inability to empathize with other posters here and not be a jerk to them, is something that is glaringly obvious to me.

 

I've said my peace, though. And I see no need to continue to hammer him. He's plainly expressed many a time what he thinks of others' opinions, anyway. It would be wasted energy.

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Growing up, sarcasm and put-downs were my familys primary language. As I got older, that was also the language of my friends, especially from say 16-25. We would also argue about stupid stuff like it was life and death, and sometimes even turn into physical altercations, but with the full knowledge that we were close friends and that I can call you a name, but if someone else does it well be ready to throw down.

 

I say that to illustrate that we all have very different backgrounds. I dont think Choc is trying to push buttons, at least not most of the time, but just has a different communication style and background that many of us find difficult. But being difficult or even being a jerk isnt being a troll, IMO. I would reserve that for someone who engages in behavior solely to obtain a certain emotional response. Heck, I have trolled plenty of people on Nightly over the years, and eventually even chased one person off by doing it (the person solely came here to virtue signal and insult people who disagreed with them, so I count it as acceptable). But whos the more trollish, the troll or the one who trolls him?

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Heck, I have trolled plenty of people on Nightly over the years, and eventually even chased one person off by doing it (the person solely came here to virtue signal and insult people who disagreed with them, so I count it as acceptable).

Bitch, I'm right here.

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Man, I had always thought Zathras and I had only had good, fun, fair interactions before. Oh well.

 

Brando mostly hit it right on the head. When someone says something I find stupid I don't think its mean or trollish to say "thats stupid". For me there is a big difference between saying what someone said is stupid and that they are stupid. I don't feel the need to add a spoonful of sugar to anything I say, thats how you talk to children.

 

Lastly something Zathras said about me going after certain people. Not true, not ever, not once. I have no interest or desire to antagonize anyone here or try to drive anyone way. Never have, never will. What does sometimes happen is this: myself and somoene else have sort of a fundamental or philosophical difference of opinion on some topic. So then when you follow that down the line myself and that person will then have differences of opinion on more specific things within that topic. So I just end up disagreeing with that person often. Its certainly not me going after any person.

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So, what do you call a girl that is 15 + years younger than your age, that comes onto you? This has happened to me on more than several occassions, and one girl (she was hot and she knew it) kind of got mad when I blew off her sexual advance.

 

So, if it was the other way around, I'm a perv, but when I'm the one getting sexual advances from a much younger woman, nothing is wrong with it?

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I don't think anyone is saying nothing is wrong with it, but we don't live in a society that has a systemic problem with women pursuing men. In a perfect world anyone could pursue anybody else that the want if they are interested, but it has shook out that dudes on power trips have ruined it for everybody else, and we have a creep culture problem.

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No one is saying that an older man cant try to be with a younger woman, it happens all the time. However when a 36 year old man is trying to get with a 21 year old woman I think the man has to be extra cognizant that his advances may be unwanted. Having said that the line between being persistent and harrassment can be thin sometimes.

 

The bar I go to is not the kind of place with bouncers and often the entire staff working is female, so its not completely unusual for me to be asked by the bartender to make a customer leave if he refuses to when asked. Id say every single times its happened its been an older guy who was hitting on a younger woman.

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So, what do you call a girl that is 15 + years younger than your age, that comes onto you? This has happened to me on more than several occassions, and one girl (she was hot and she knew it) kind of got mad when I blew off her sexual advance.

 

So, if it was the other way around, I'm a perv, but when I'm the one getting sexual advances from a much younger woman, nothing is wrong with it?

Gold digger.

 

Let's be honest here, women can't really pursue men in any circumstance without potential judgement. Maybe she's a "gold digger". Maybe she's "looking for a meal ticket". Maybe she's "sleeping her way up". Maybe she has "daddy issues". Maybe she's "just a slut". At best she's "too forward". Even women IN a current relationship can't pursue advancing that relationship without people saying she's "trapping him".

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So, what do you call a girl that is 15 + years younger than your age, that comes onto you? This has happened to me on more than several occassions, and one girl (she was hot and she knew it) kind of got mad when I blew off her sexual advance.

 

So, if it was the other way around, I'm a perv, but when I'm the one getting sexual advances from a much younger woman, nothing is wrong with it?

Gold digger.

 

Let's be honest here, women can't really pursue men in any circumstance without potential judgement. Maybe she's a "gold digger". Maybe she's "looking for a meal ticket". Maybe she's "sleeping her way up". Maybe she has "daddy issues". Maybe she's "just a slut". At best she's "too forward". Even women IN a current relationship can't pursue advancing that relationship without people saying she's "trapping him".

 

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The one situation with the really hot woman was just plain wrong. She had a picture of her and her husband on her desk, with some saying about true love. Yet, here I am with a wedding ring on and she's walking up the stairs in front of me, sliding her hand into her workout pants, shifting it slightly down to expose her tattoo and snapping her g-string panties' waistband, as to say, I want it. I kept a professional attitude and showed her how to work the volumn on the paging system. Later, when we were checking out, she gave me a sort of "Go to hell" look, because I didn't acknowledge her physical message. It's not like she'd think that a VOIP phone system dude was all kinds of loaded, and I'm not really some kind of super hunk either. I'm pretty sure if the roles were reversed, that she would have filed a complaint.

 

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It was tempting. She looked like a young Catherine Zeta Jones.

 

Speaking of older men with really young woman. I recall seeing a guy in his mid-30's rolling around a shopping cart, at a Walmart. The girl barely looked 20 and they had a baby that appeared to be about 8 months old. She looks like she's playing house, while this dude has a look of defeat in his eyes. The party was over for him, and I doubt that the relationship was going to last too many years longer.

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This is why its so hard to date in your 30s as a woman. The worthwhile guys are generally still on their first marriage. The ones on the market are all looking for the youngest possible dates. Something tells me Wal-Mart Guy was one of the latter.

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This is why its so hard to date in your 30s as a woman. The worthwhile guys are generally still on their first marriage. The ones on the market are all looking for the youngest possible dates. Something tells me Wal-Mart Guy was one of the latter.

The same can be said for guys in their 30s, too. My 30s were pretty lonely, and most of my friends were married by that point, and I always felt like a 3rd wheel when we all would go out. Things worked out for me though. My 40s are way better relationship-wise and I found someone who is a very good woman, and she happens to be a few years older than me.

 

Age differences after 30 (when both parties involved are at least 30 ) really are kind of moot, because by then you are pretty much a fully formed person. That's why it isn't a good idea for a large age gap when one of the parties involved are in their 20s, and the other is over 35. The one in their 20s generally are still trying to find their way in life.

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I met my wife just before I turned 28 and her 32. The only other serious relationship Ive ever been in was also a four year age difference, but I was the older, and we were much younger. This one is much better.

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This is why its so hard to date in your 30s as a woman. The worthwhile guys are generally still on their first marriage. The ones on the market are all looking for the youngest possible dates. Something tells me Wal-Mart Guy was one of the latter.

The same can be said for guys in their 30s, too. My 30s were pretty lonely, and most of my friends were married by that point, and I always felt like a 3rd wheel when we all would go out. Things worked out for me though. My 40s are way better relationship-wise and I found someone who is a very good woman, and she happens to be a few years older than me.

 

Not at all surprising! The good women are all on their first marriages, too. Or long ago decided to not play the game.

 

I'm asexual/aromantic, so I don't characterize my 30's as lonely, necessarily, although I am a third wheel extraordinaire. But I've definitely noticed that each decade of my life is better than the last, so I imagine 40 will be pretty great whether I find a partner or not.

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I met my wife when I was 29. She was 30 and got married when she was around 20. The guy she was with was 10 years older than her and she pretty much didnt work. The loser was a manager of a Car Wash and pretty much wasnt doing anything with his life.

 

Weve been married over 20 years now. Its funny, because I got hit on a lot more after I was married, then when I was in my 20s. I have no doubt that most t young woman want an older guy, because they are more financially stable and mature.

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Mature my arse hole.

 

Most 40 year olds I know are grown up man children that still laugh at penis graffiti, whether they are married, CEOs, with children, or not. Just look at Krawlie n Tank. And they're probably the most mature dudes on the internet.

 

If youre "mature" mature chances are I reckon you're born that way. But it just means boring.

Edited by Odine
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Oh, we all make dick jokes at the office. We have an imaginary employee named Barry. Whenever someone asks who Barry is, all of a sudden their phone will receive a text message with a picture of the black dude that has an elephant dick between his legs.

 

 

Hell, my wife and I were in our mid to late 30s and we went to have some drinks with some mid 20s people. They were obnoxious to us.

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dick and fart jokes will forever be funny, it's just knowing when and where and with whom to tell those jokes

 

also wtf I still have three years to go til 40 how dare you

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