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Trying to Make Sense of Something That Happened Last Year


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Yeah, my teens lasted forever, my twenties flew by, and I knew my thirties would fly by just as fast or faster. So far, it is proving to be true. I don't necessarily feel old, but I am feeling the fleetingness of life. It's also hard to see so many people I've loved all my life getting old and worn out, or dealing with Alzheimer's or what have you. I always used to think their deaths or degradations would be in such a distant future that I'd have all the time in the world to enjoy them.

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I think a lot of it has to do with how cognitive your brain is at a younger age. I'd read a study, where they asked people of different ages to tell them when 2 minutes went by. I don't remember the specifics, but people past a certain age really had a hard time determining how long it was, because their perception of time was much faster than that of a younger person. It's like when you were a kid at church and 1 hour felt like 2 hours, but to an adult, the time flashed by.

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I remember my mom explaining it to me when I was a kid once. Put your age in the denominator of a fraction, and that's what a year of your life feels like, and why it seems quicker and quicker as the years go on. At five a year feels like 20% of your life, while at 50, it's 2%.

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Oh, we all make dick jokes at the office. We have an imaginary employee named Barry. Whenever someone asks who Barry is, all of a sudden their phone will receive a text message with a picture of the black dude that has an elephant dick between his legs.

 

 

Hell, my wife and I were in our mid to late 30s and we went to have some drinks with some mid 20s people. They were obnoxious to us.

Guys are wild. Women definitely do not send each other things like that.

 

And, yeah. I spend every July 4th at a family friends lake house, they have a huge party, and they have teenagers/college age kids who have their own huge party at the same time and in the same place. Theyre pretty fun to talk to when you can get them in small, focused groups, but damn, I feel elderly when theyre in their packs. I also feel kinda bad because Im drunk as hell, keeping an eye on the 17 year olds who think they can sneak from the cooler.

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who's got the elephant dick to show everyone though? definitely not me

 

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He probably scares the crap out of his date, and she runs to the door. It's probably more of a curse, than something to brag about.

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