Iceheart Posted June 3, 2020 Share Posted June 3, 2020 Remember when we used to have threads where we endlessly debated what skills and talents we would bring to an apocalypse scenario and who was best equipped to survive? I mean, we usually factored in zombies, but you could argue all the Karens and Kevins on Facebook fit the bill... Anyway, now that we know what the apocalypse actually looks like, what kind of skills make you most apt to survive 2020? Ill start: Im a hardcore introvert. My old #1 is that I can shoot about any bow and arrow you put in my hands. We were a bit off. I have a full wardrobe of athleisure wear. I have accounts to Netflix, Hulu, Amazon Prime, and Disney+. I have ample prescriptions for both an anti-anxiety medication, and medical cannabis. I dont use Facebook. I can turn an xl t-shirt into ~6 fitted masks with head straps that wont give you a headache in the space of about 3 hours. I also developed a mask deodorant spray to help with the halitosis smell and the maskne. Bet you want me on your apocalypse team now, huh? I was raised by preppers. I always have backup everything consumable. Including toilet paper. I can bake. And I can keep a sourdough starter alive. I dont need a gym to work out. I can cut my own hair. Im media literate. I know how to get tear gas out of your eyes. The trick is to carry a little thermos of milk with you to wash your eyes out with. Okay, now you go. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spider-Man Posted June 3, 2020 Share Posted June 3, 2020 I can make meals from scratch, provided I have edible ingredients. I can identify several edible plants and know how to butcher fish and fowl. I can diagnosis minor injuries and administer first aid. I can sew. I can cut hair, even bangs. I can write scathing, one line, retorts about things we dont like. Okay, maybe I need two lines. Well, okay, maybe a paragraph. I dont mind being used as a punchline and will do so to bring a smile to someones face even if for a moment. I can build pillow and blanket forts that can fit an overweight adult inside them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth Krawlie Posted June 3, 2020 Share Posted June 3, 2020 I cant do shit. Id be one of the first to die. Im all right with this, honestly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iceheart Posted June 3, 2020 Author Share Posted June 3, 2020 Youve survived half the year already, so you must have something. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tank Posted June 3, 2020 Share Posted June 3, 2020 All my prescriptions are mail order. I'm a grub hub regular so coupons. I can cry into a pillow so no one hears. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zathras Posted June 4, 2020 Share Posted June 4, 2020 My superpower/Apocalypse skill is I can drink 15 IPAs in one sitting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spider-Man Posted June 4, 2020 Share Posted June 4, 2020 I should amend my response with: The last time I butchered a fowl from beak and feather was when I had an actual waistline size rather than a coastline. Also my sewing skills are more like Sally from Nightmare Before Christmas than the villagers in Three Amigos. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth Krawlie Posted June 4, 2020 Share Posted June 4, 2020 My superpower/Apocalypse skill is I can drink 15 IPAs in one sitting. ****ing hell even I can't do that OR ****ing hell I can't even do that Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted June 4, 2020 Share Posted June 4, 2020 My superpower/Apocalypse skill is I can drink 15 IPAs in one sitting. ****ing hell even I can't do that OR ****ing hell I can't even do thatDepends on how long you sit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Odine Posted June 4, 2020 Share Posted June 4, 2020 He also didn't specify his state after said 15. I could get through 15 pints in a nights sitting but I'd be absolutely smashed crab legless afterwards. But if you threw in a baggie of nose beers then you might be fine. Anywaaaaays.... I can swing an axe Play air guitar and air drums pretty well Own combat trousers Own a crossbow but only have three bolts and have never fired it cause it scares me Have played LOADS of zombie apocalypse survival and shooter games in my time, so I have been in theoretical training for a long time. I'm good for the banter and can think up one liners Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ms. Spam Posted June 4, 2020 Share Posted June 4, 2020 I am almost 50 years old and know how to use discord BEFORE the pandemic. LOL. Needless to day my kids were shocked by my discord name. It's the same one as here, MsSpam. So I got called by that sometimes. I kind of miss most of the morning lessons now but today I slept until almost 9 AM today. That's a first. Before this happened I knew how to live cheaply. That is how to survive on a few items that I had handy or eat endless rice dishes because I was broke once. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zathras Posted June 4, 2020 Share Posted June 4, 2020 My superpower/Apocalypse skill is I can drink 15 IPAs in one sitting. ****ing hell even I can't do that OR ****ing hell I can't even do thatDepends on how long you sit. Yeah, that's over about 3-4 hours for me. Also depends on the IPA. But TBH, haven't done that in a long time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted June 4, 2020 Share Posted June 4, 2020 My wife is hot. I can mix drinks. Ill eat just about anything and be happy. I can entertain myself by just sitting and doing nothing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cerina Posted June 5, 2020 Share Posted June 5, 2020 I do not even give 2 shits anymore. I can shoot a gun. So can my almost 12 to. I'm intelligent, rational, logical, and literate. My family owns land in the middle of nowhere. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Destiny Skywalker Posted June 5, 2020 Share Posted June 5, 2020 Cerina is providing tons of entertainment for me on Facebook with racists. I may cancel Netflix. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ms. Spam Posted June 5, 2020 Share Posted June 5, 2020 OMG. The lady who said Trump has been doing a great job for 4.5 years was fantastic. I was like, naw, honey.... Although I miss Pong. He needs to make an appearance to shake up the Lyceum. The other day Pong posted about a guy who solves political issues with a bag of snakes. I was like, I want to be that guy. Go into the Senate and dump a bag of cobras. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spider-Man Posted June 6, 2020 Share Posted June 6, 2020 Is that who that is? Awesome. Umm. I guess its confession time, I find it tremendously difficult to correlate real names with screen names after all this time. My grown son jokingly threatened to out me, after he was becoming friends with some of you, because he was like who is this person (from Nightly)? I could only answer with good people. Side Note: Cereese, I have struggled with a speech impediment and dyslexia for the longest time and so I think that is why my family only knew you as Cereesy. With a y. Like Reeces Pieces. When my wife saw your name in text form on Facebook she was like, you know she probably pronounces that just as Cereese. I couldnt even defend myself by saying I heard it both ways, being we all communicate mostly in text form. lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ms. Spam Posted June 6, 2020 Share Posted June 6, 2020 Instead of a like button I need the facebook cares smilie. I love all of you people and will call you whatever I know you as! Ms Spam has stuck with me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tank Posted June 6, 2020 Share Posted June 6, 2020 All I know is Robin has come to disneyland three times and not had me come join. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spider-Man Posted June 6, 2020 Share Posted June 6, 2020 Its one of those moments when a lame excuse like itsnot you its me is actually true. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cerina Posted June 10, 2020 Share Posted June 10, 2020 Is that who that is? Awesome. Umm. I guess its confession time, I find it tremendously difficult to correlate real names with screen names after all this time. My grown son jokingly threatened to out me, after he was becoming friends with some of you, because he was like who is this person (from Nightly)? I could only answer with good people. Side Note: Cereese, I have struggled with a speech impediment and dyslexia for the longest time and so I think that is why my family only knew you as Cereesy. With a y. Like Reeces Pieces. When my wife saw your name in text form on Facebook she was like, you know she probably pronounces that just as Cereese. I couldnt even defend myself by saying I heard it both ways, being we all communicate mostly in text form. lolSIR-reese But honestly, I respond to anything that even remotely sounds like Cereese. It's pretty rare for someone to pronounce it correctly the first time. It's supposed to be spelled cerise which is French and apparently a fairly common color in other English-speaking countries. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cerina Posted June 10, 2020 Share Posted June 10, 2020 Cerina is providing tons of entertainment for me on Facebook with racists. I may cancel Netflix.I've lost 7 "friends" not counting the crazy woman that I blocked. 1 from church 1 former coworker1 from our Christian homeschool co-op1 from scouts3 family members I think it was a combination of the pro-Pride Month post and the #trumpisdangerous that did most of them in. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Destiny Skywalker Posted June 10, 2020 Share Posted June 10, 2020 You're doing pretty good, I think I lost one but I don't know who. Or someone deleted their account. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth Ender Posted June 18, 2020 Share Posted June 18, 2020 I do not even give 2 ****s anymore. Winner of the best survival skill right here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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