Jump to content

Welcome to Nightly.Net
Register now to gain access to all of our features. Once registered and logged in, you will be able to create topics, post replies to existing threads, give reputation to your fellow members, get your own private messenger, post status updates, manage your profile and so much more. If you already have an account, login here - otherwise create an account for free today!
Photo

Your Revised Mad Apocalypse Skillz


23 replies to this topic

#1
Iceheart

Iceheart

    No.

  • Moderators
  • 20,812 posts
Remember when we used to have threads where we endlessly debated what skills and talents we would bring to an apocalypse scenario and who was best equipped to survive? I mean, we usually factored in zombies, but you could argue all the Karens and Kevins on Facebook fit the bill...

Anyway, now that we know what the apocalypse actually looks like, what kind of skills make you most apt to survive 2020?

Ill start:

Im a hardcore introvert. My old #1 is that I can shoot about any bow and arrow you put in my hands. We were a bit off.

I have a full wardrobe of athleisure wear.

I have accounts to Netflix, Hulu, Amazon Prime, and Disney+.

I have ample prescriptions for both an anti-anxiety medication, and medical cannabis.

I dont use Facebook.

I can turn an xl t-shirt into ~6 fitted masks with head straps that wont give you a headache in the space of about 3 hours. I also developed a mask deodorant spray to help with the halitosis smell and the maskne. Bet you want me on your apocalypse team now, huh?

I was raised by preppers. I always have backup everything consumable. Including toilet paper.

I can bake. And I can keep a sourdough starter alive.

I dont need a gym to work out.

I can cut my own hair.

Im media literate.

I know how to get tear gas out of your eyes. The trick is to carry a little thermos of milk with you to wash your eyes out with.

Okay, now you go.
  • Spider-Man +1 this

#2
Spider-Man

Spider-Man

    THT v.2

  • Members
  • 152 posts
I can make meals from scratch, provided I have edible ingredients.

I can identify several edible plants and know how to butcher fish and fowl.

I can diagnosis minor injuries and administer first aid.

I can sew.

I can cut hair, even bangs.

I can write scathing, one line, retorts about things we dont like. Okay, maybe I need two lines. Well, okay, maybe a paragraph.

I dont mind being used as a punchline and will do so to bring a smile to someones face even if for a moment.

I can build pillow and blanket forts that can fit an overweight adult inside them.
  • Iceheart +1 this

#3
Darth Krawlie

Darth Krawlie

    privileged ****lord

  • Moderators
  • 35,197 posts
I cant do ****. Id be one of the first to die. Im all right with this, honestly.

#4
Iceheart

Iceheart

    No.

  • Moderators
  • 20,812 posts
Youve survived half the year already, so you must have something.
  • Spider-Man +1 this

#5
Tank

Tank

    Driver

  • Member
  • 35,351 posts
All my prescriptions are mail order. I'm a grub hub regular so coupons. I can cry into a pillow so no one hears.
  • Jacen123 and Iceheart +1 this

#6
Zathras

Zathras

    Not The One

  • Members
  • 375 posts

My superpower/Apocalypse skill is I can drink 15 IPAs in one sitting.   


  • Iceheart, Spider-Man and Darth Krawlie +1 this

#7
Spider-Man

Spider-Man

    THT v.2

  • Members
  • 152 posts
I should amend my response with:

The last time I butchered a fowl from beak and feather was when I had an actual waistline size rather than a coastline.

Also my sewing skills are more like Sally from Nightmare Before Christmas than the villagers in Three Amigos.

#8
Darth Krawlie

Darth Krawlie

    privileged ****lord

  • Moderators
  • 35,197 posts

My superpower/Apocalypse skill is I can drink 15 IPAs in one sitting.   

****ing hell even I can't do that

 

OR

 

****ing hell I can't even do that


  • Jacen123, Spider-Man and Zathras +1 this

#9
Brando

Brando

    83% Muppet

  • Admin
  • 19,895 posts


My superpower/Apocalypse skill is I can drink 15 IPAs in one sitting.   

****ing hell even I can't do that
 
OR
 
****ing hell I can't even do that

Depends on how long you sit.

#10
Odine

Odine

    Member

  • Supporters
  • 2,558 posts
He also didn't specify his state after said 15. I could get through 15 pints in a nights sitting but I'd be absolutely smashed crab legless afterwards. But if you threw in a baggie of nose beers then you might be fine.

Anywaaaaays....

I can swing an axe

Play air guitar and air drums pretty well

Own combat trousers

Own a crossbow but only have three bolts and have never fired it cause it scares me

Have played LOADS of zombie apocalypse survival and shooter games in my time, so I have been in theoretical training for a long time.

I'm good for the banter and can think up one liners
  • Spider-Man +1 this

#11
Ms. Spam

Ms. Spam

    MS.

  • Member
  • 18,179 posts

I am almost 50 years old and know how to use discord BEFORE the pandemic. LOL. Needless to day my kids were shocked by my discord name. It's the same one as here, MsSpam. So I got called by that sometimes. I kind of miss most of the morning lessons now but today I slept until almost 9 AM today. That's a first.

 

Before this happened I knew how to live cheaply. That is how to survive on a few items that I had handy or eat endless rice dishes because I was broke once. 


  • Spider-Man +1 this

#12
Zathras

Zathras

    Not The One

  • Members
  • 375 posts

 

 

My superpower/Apocalypse skill is I can drink 15 IPAs in one sitting.   

****ing hell even I can't do that
 
OR
 
****ing hell I can't even do that

Depends on how long you sit.

 

Yeah, that's over about 3-4 hours for me.  Also depends on the IPA.  

 

But TBH, haven't done that in a long time. 



#13
Brando

Brando

    83% Muppet

  • Admin
  • 19,895 posts
My wife is hot.

I can mix drinks.

Ill eat just about anything and be happy.

I can entertain myself by just sitting and doing nothing.
  • Spider-Man +1 this

#14
Cerina

Cerina

    Now and forever...

  • Admin
  • 30,077 posts
I do not even give 2 ****s anymore.

I can shoot a gun. So can my almost 12 to.

I'm intelligent, rational, logical, and literate.

My family owns land in the middle of nowhere.
  • Spider-Man +1 this

#15
Destiny Skywalker

Destiny Skywalker

    Actually, I am a rocket scientist

  • Member
  • 20,954 posts
Cerina is providing tons of entertainment for me on Facebook with racists. I may cancel Netflix.
  • Jacen123, Spider-Man and Cerina +1 this

#16
Ms. Spam

Ms. Spam

    MS.

  • Member
  • 18,179 posts

OMG. The lady who said Trump has been doing a great job for 4.5 years was fantastic. I was like, naw, honey....

 

Although I miss Pong. He needs to make an appearance to shake up the Lyceum. The other day Pong posted about a guy who solves political issues with a bag of snakes. I was like, I want to be that guy. Go into the Senate and dump a bag of cobras. 


  • Spider-Man +1 this

#17
Spider-Man

Spider-Man

    THT v.2

  • Members
  • 152 posts
Is that who that is? Awesome.

Umm.

I guess its confession time, I find it tremendously difficult to correlate real names with screen names after all this time. My grown son jokingly threatened to out me, after he was becoming friends with some of you, because he was like who is this person (from Nightly)? I could only answer with good people.

Side Note: Cereese, I have struggled with a speech impediment and dyslexia for the longest time and so I think that is why my family only knew you as Cereesy. With a y. Like Reeces Pieces. When my wife saw your name in text form on Facebook she was like, you know she probably pronounces that just as Cereese. I couldnt even defend myself by saying I heard it both ways, being we all communicate mostly in text form. lol
  • Ms. Spam +1 this

#18
Ms. Spam

Ms. Spam

    MS.

  • Member
  • 18,179 posts

Instead of a like button I need the facebook cares smilie. I love all of you people and will call you whatever I know you as! Ms Spam has stuck with me.


  • Spider-Man +1 this

#19
Tank

Tank

    Driver

  • Member
  • 35,351 posts
All I know is Robin has come to disneyland three times and not had me come join.
  • Spider-Man +1 this

#20
Spider-Man

Spider-Man

    THT v.2

  • Members
  • 152 posts
Its one of those moments when a lame excuse like its
not you its me is actually true.
  • Ms. Spam +1 this

#21
Cerina

Cerina

    Now and forever...

  • Admin
  • 30,077 posts

Is that who that is? Awesome.

Umm.

I guess its confession time, I find it tremendously difficult to correlate real names with screen names after all this time. My grown son jokingly threatened to out me, after he was becoming friends with some of you, because he was like who is this person (from Nightly)? I could only answer with good people.

Side Note: Cereese, I have struggled with a speech impediment and dyslexia for the longest time and so I think that is why my family only knew you as Cereesy. With a y. Like Reeces Pieces. When my wife saw your name in text form on Facebook she was like, you know she probably pronounces that just as Cereese. I couldnt even defend myself by saying I heard it both ways, being we all communicate mostly in text form. lol


SIR-reese

But honestly, I respond to anything that even remotely sounds like Cereese. It's pretty rare for someone to pronounce it correctly the first time. It's supposed to be spelled cerise which is French and apparently a fairly common color in other English-speaking countries.
  • Spider-Man +1 this

#22
Cerina

Cerina

    Now and forever...

  • Admin
  • 30,077 posts

Cerina is providing tons of entertainment for me on Facebook with racists. I may cancel Netflix.


I've lost 7 "friends" not counting the crazy woman that I blocked.

1 from church
1 former coworker
1 from our Christian homeschool co-op
1 from scouts
3 family members

I think it was a combination of the pro-Pride Month post and the #trumpisdangerous that did most of them in.

#23
Destiny Skywalker

Destiny Skywalker

    Actually, I am a rocket scientist

  • Member
  • 20,954 posts
You're doing pretty good, I think I lost one but I don't know who. Or someone deleted their account.

#24
Darth Ender

Darth Ender

    Member

  • Members
  • 650 posts

I do not even give 2 ****s anymore.

 

Winner of the best survival skill right here.


  • Cerina +1 this



Reply to this topic