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Is anyone else exhausted?


67 replies to this topic

#51
Zerimar Nyliram

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I slept all day today. That seems to be the pattern every time I have to wake up early for something. Today it was a doctor's appointment, but it's usually when there's church.


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#52
monkeygirl

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I like day sleeping



#53
Ms. Spam

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I got home yesterday at 2 PM from driving straight through from Tucson with stops for naps in between at rest stops. I couldn't do a hotel for long. Because I lied about not having a pet with me. LOL. I left at 6 PM Monday night after I sat with Nan some more and watched her mountains burn from the Big Horn Fires and once again had to tell her Mom is with Grandpa. We cried a little and then she begged me to stay and live with her. It's always hard leaving - except when Tim is concerned. 

 

Everything is changing. Matt flew out (our normal brother) and we spent days cleaning the floors, kitchen, throwing out two households worth of stuff (my Mom and her 9th husband, Karl, had a second home). Everything that is good that we can sell at an estate sale over the fourth of july if anyone wants two statues of dogs holding lanterns, giant chickens, pitchers - endless pitchers - quality western art, cooking stuff and silverware. Plus we have matching tables and chairs and hutches and buffets and MORE...Tim doesn't know how to run a estate sale so he's asked me to come out and do it. Like it's rocket science. 

 

They messed up my Mom's death certificate and because of covid she hasn't even been cremated. You can't do anything without it so I came back. Because of covid everything takes longer than it needs to because you can't see people in person. We spent days on the phone trying to figure out what Tina owes for fines, how long she's on probation and what happens to her benefits if she moves to Texas because Tim wants to be gone and he will dump his sister like he's dumping EVERYTHING of moms. It's not his problem. He's had to deal with it fooooorrrrever. Like you selfish dick, by deal with it that means he's had to pick up Tina from the jail a couple of times and he hates having her parole officer come around because he smoked up a bowl. Tina was actually more on the ball and started looking at section 8 housing but there is a waiting list and I don't think she's going to get something before the idiot that is my brother takes the first cash offer and goes (my cousin already lowballed him 50K cash for the house but Tim declined because he's not a complete idiot). Fortunately because of the deal with my Mom's death certificate we bought a reprieve on Tina being booted out right away because Mom left Tim the house but the deed has to be transferred over. And that can't be done until the death certificate happens.

 

BUT WAIT there's more...

 

Three years ago Mom paid a lawyer to break her dead husbands trust. When they did that and paid one of Karl's sons 50k and the lawyer 20k for fees Mom had 300K left in assets not counting the house (which if zillow could see the insides is worth 440K) all that's left over three years is 134K in an annuity that didn't reach full potential because it was in year 3 of a ten year compounded interest type thing. Matt is FLOORED that all that money is gone. Like what the hell did it get spent on. Welllllllll Matt found out. We went out to eat at a Mexican restaurant the first day Matt was back. We all did the lunch specials. Tim ordered some 20$ steak thing with extra guacamole and drinks and every waiter there knew Tim by name. He bought a bunch of tools he never uses, he bought two gamer computers, he bought a CAR which I will into later, he bought weeeeeeeeed for his medical weed card. He doesn't have health insurance but still sees a quack near to Nogales who he pays 60$ a visit who lets him get his weed card.

 

Tim has the truck which he paid with some money he took from Mom because she put him on the account and two cars he bought using Mom's money as a down payment. But because Mom was in the hospital he thought she'd still live but he needed to get a real job so he could go out and get health insurance, like real not a guy from Mexico who has a practice on the other side of the border, but a real doctor because he too is in kidney failure. So he was going to go back to UBER. So in the HEIGHT of the pandemic he got a loan to buy a Kia K9000 so he could drive Uber and Lyft and earn enough to get health insurance. But instead he won't do it because of the virus. It would affect my health he says. JFC. And now he had two vehicles and no job and one requires a payment but has he gotten a job? NOPE. He won't do call center work. He wants to be a HELICOPTER PILOT! Matt informed him he will not be staying with him in his house. 

 

On top of that his doctor told him to try a diet. So he talks up a game about keto but let me tell you. He's an idiot. We went to a burger place to pick up some lunch one day to take a break while cleaning. I ordered a Famous Star Burger and Matt ordered some kind of weird BBQ Burger and Tim did the breadless burger that they do like a lettuce wrap instead of a bun from Carl's Jr. We get to the house and I want to go wash my hands. I come back and my burger is laying there on a napkin. I look over and Tim is eating a burger with a bun. He STUCK me with his crappy burger which he ordered with an extra meat patty which is now all sad and greasy. I take a deep breath and try not to lose my ****. The whole time he ate chips, all my oreo travel cookies, drank sodas. 

 

But WAIT there's more.

 

My Mom left the house to Tim. He gets the whole house and it's contents. I feel like she gave her life to make sure Tim and Tina had a place to live without bills and that her stuff is valuable if only because she gave HER GODDAMNED LIFE to provide for the laziest person I've ever encountered in my life. I think with a little bit of work Tim could get some money from the house that would help him go where ever he wants but not at my house or Matts. It will require doing work like painting some things and cleaning the yard up and maybe fixing up a few broken things. Enough that a cash buying Mormon or Mexican National who has a large family would pay at least 250k for in cash because it won't pass a FHA or any other type of government loan. It's got to be conventional, flipper or cash buyer who wants it. I know the moment Matt leaves today nothing more will be done. He could up and leave Tina stranded at a moments notice.

 

So Tina is coming to live with me. So in between this I have to figure out how medicare works when you move states, what can I do if she doesn't like living with me and what we're going to do about 2 shoplifting and one DUI conviction that affects her. We spent hours going around with government offices. Social Security can't tell me if she's SSDI or SSI. We're worried because the breakdown of the annuity is Tim gets 40%, Tina gets 35% but it has to be set up in a trust and for paying for things Tina needs because they feel Tina is not responsible enough to handle all that money, Matt got 15% and I got 10%.  They want to do that in a lump sum. But if we have to set up a trust we have to pay a lawyer to set that up and Mom wanted Tim to be in charge of that. That's like putting a kid in charge of a candy store. Matt and I are worried when that money gets reported for income it will change Tina's status and she may lose critical benefits. I am not going to lie. It stung a little that I got 10%. I mean I am the one child that came regularly for visits. I am the one child who has helped every chance I could. It was stuck to me because I consider my step Mom to be my Mom too and because I defend Mom's husband Karl (which I don't but Mom was married to him for almost 25 years and they had some good times and Karl did tolerate her grown useless children who lived with him at their house even though it turns out Mom was paying him 800$ for their rent as Tina lived in a small in law suite and Tim lived in a guest house on his property but I get it, property taxes had to be paid and Karl was using the rent from those from other people as income to pay those bills).

 

I am sooooooo overwhelmed I may not have had the strength to smack Tim but when I go back on the weekend of the 4th of July I may just doooo it. On top of that I may get furloughed at school because the state is asking budgets to be cut. So I'm stressed all the way around. Thanks Covid. The gift that keeps on giving.



#54
Ms. Spam

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Oh and just to show how much Tim DGAF about Tina, the day we started working on her apartment cleaning it and trying to figure out her benefits and medical car he smoked a big fat bowl and went to take a long nap in bed. You could hear him SNORING. I had to wear a mask. Black mold and Tina's cigarette habit made it unbearable to be in that apartment for more than a few moments. But her cat is soooooo happy now that the floor is cleaned and the things growing black mold are gone. 

 

Also one of his cats had a mat in his fur so large it was the size of his cat. I spent evenings trying to make that poor cat feel better clipping and combing gently. 



#55
monkeygirl

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Mom left Tim the house

He wants to be a HELICOPTER PILOT!

Tina is coming to live with me

 

I have to process this before I can really reply



#56
Ms. Spam

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Yeah, try driving home alone thinking about this bs. Thank god for Pootapotamus.


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#57
Iceheart

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Whew. That sounds like the elder abuse my great-uncle suffered and the DRAMA that happened when my grandpa died and his second wife got almost everything. And those were traumatic situations that I had to deal with separately. Youre taking them all on at the same time with a little Covid on top. ****. I am so sorry.

Isnt your condo tiny? Where are you going to put Tina?

#58
Ms. Spam

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I have to move. HA. My life changes



#59
Destiny Skywalker

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Tina probably does need a trust but anything left over may have to go to the state when she dies, depends on how your state handles it. I actually do know a good trust lawyer in San Antonio, I can send you his name.

#60
Ms. Spam

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I think I need someone who does Arizona law. Going to try and check with a few today. I don't think she needs a trust. I need to get an opinion on whether we just skip making the trust per my Mom's instructions and just request that she gets pay outs over time from the annuity. So she'd get a little something either quarterly or monthly deposited into her account instead. I absolutely do not want Tim involved in anything for Tina money wise. If she comes to live with me and the trust has to be done it will be setup with me instead of Tim. That's the part I think I need a lawyer for because Mom stipulated Tim in charge of that in her living will.



#61
Iceheart

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I have to move. HA. My life changes

So, Tim gets the house, and you have to sell your condo to buy a bigger place for you and your sister.

Your mom didnt think this one through. But then, Ive seen this game played before. It was Tim doing all the thinking for your mom.
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#62
Zathras

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I think I need someone who does Arizona law. 

 

 

 

PM sent. 



#63
Ms. Spam

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Thanks!


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#64
Cerina

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What the actual ****. Just...what. the. actual. ****. 

 


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#65
Brando

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Tim thinking
 

That doesn't jibe with anything Spam has ever said about Tim.
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#66
Iceheart

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True, but he seems to have figured out how to work all the angles to come out the best with the estate.



#67
Destiny Skywalker

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Yeah this is screaming manipulation. I'm wondering if your mom was kind of like my grandma who would just nod her head with most conversations but couldn't/wouldn't offer an opinion if you pushed her on it. It was mostly about flying under the radar. Tim may have just pressured your mom so much with his plan that she gave in just to get him to shut up.

#68
Ms. Spam

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That is exactly how she was at the end. If Covid hadn't happened I would have been there to stop that nonsense but I came back because school and lock downs and Tim kept on mooching.





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