I am very sorry to hear this too, MS Spam. My most sincere condolences to you about your Mom.
Also, I hope you get well soon.
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I lub you guys and gals. I'm weirdly at peace but still super sad. The hardest part is going to be telling my Nan. We haven't told my Mom's Mom. She's 102 as of last month. I think secretly she knows because they had this strange connection. Nan always knows when Mom is in trouble.
I am sorry spam...that is awful.
I think one reason for the exhaustion in me is the days seem the same. I remember hearing time goes faster when you don't have memories to sort it out. As a kid and a teen new **** is always happening. A lot of firsts. It seemed like a magical time. As adults, we fall into routines. Even my fun, my soccer league is routine...same days...my gym routine is the same...and so on. Now those things are pulled away and days are just slipping through our hands like sand. It is kinda like if you are lazy all day, you are even more tired that night.
I am sorry for you to go through this, Ms Spam. I know it is easier said than done, and I hope you don't mind me saying so, but try to remember the good times with your Mom, and try to celebrate her life today. Your mom would want you to remember her in happier times. I speak from experience, because someone told me the same thing, once.