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**** Magnets


20 replies to this topic

#1
Tank

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Some people can't catch a break, right? Some people seem to have one bad thing after another happen to them... and it's not things they could avoid per se-- acts of God, allergic reactions, disasters, untimely deaths, car accidents, just plain bad luck.

 

...or is it more a product of their lifestyle? Do some people just not have their **** together enough that all it takes is one bad day and their life is ruined, because they were hovering around it being ruined already?

 

Which is it? Does the universe stack the odds against some people, or are they a victim of their own inability to get ahead?



#2
The Choc

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Everyone has periods in their life where bad things come one after the other. Everyone. The difference is some people feel "woe is me" and let it ruin their lives and let everyone know how "unlucky" they are. Others have these things happen and realize they aren't so special and everyone has bad things happen and their own crosses to bear. And they know the rare person who hasn't had these kinda things happen to them we should just be happy for them cause in all likliehood their day will come anyway.



#3
Brando

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Depends. For most people, I think it's poor choices. But there's still a substantial population that just gets screwed, and in the US, it's hard to get out from under things. Whether it's generational poverty or medical bills, once you fall you're just buried, and a lot of people have it happen before they're even born.

#4
Destiny Skywalker

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There's definitely poor choices at play, but yeah, some people can't catch a break. I feel like that lately.

#5
Odine

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I once had a customer called Gary who got cancer of the penis. He was in his 60s. It was a rare cancer type. Not testicular or prostate, cancer on the Johnson. He had it amputated, or at least mostly amputated. He lived in absolute misery for the next two or three months untill he died.

No matter how bad it gets. At least you're not Gary.

#6
Darth Krawlie

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I'm gonna put this in spoiler tags because it gets long and rambley and I lose focus at the end. No one needs to read it if they don't want to, it's definitely tl;dr

 

Spoiler



#7
Odine

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That's dark. I'd say the religious fundamentalism has a lot to answer for in that situation. As you say..the heavy handed parenting, that comes from fundamentalism like that, can drive young people to various forms of escapism including drug abuse. Not to mention the poverty would probably have been less stark had they not had 6 kids. If their religion allowed for the use of birth control.

I have an extended family who have come from a similar place, though it hasnt ended in such tragedy but they have definitely had their problems. Which ultimately can be traced back to their heavy handed authoritarian father and the "church" they belonged to.

#8
Tank

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Damn, that is super rough.

 

I do think that a lot of times children of people from an exceptionally low place have a pretty high rate of being in the same place because they simply know no different (which is the case of my extended family) or they are pressured so hard to get out of the situation the first failure destroys their spirit.

 

Like Brando said, some people are screwed before they are even born.



#9
D-Ray Kenobi

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Yesterday, the stock market crashed 2,000 points, we got hit with a nasty car repair bill, the virus panic is threatening to cancel some stuff I'm really looking forward to, and there was some family drama happening.  Yet somehow I stayed mentally above water.

I don't want to be Aunt Karen sharing it on Facebook, but this quote from Bruce Lee has been sticking with me lately:

“Choose the positive. You have choice, you are master of your attitude, choose the positive, the constructive. Optimism is a faith that leads to success.”



#10
Odine

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I'd like to add I'm not trying to dump on people's religious beliefs or spirituality, rather the hard-line, dogmatic variants of certain churches.

#11
Cerina

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Not to take anything away from Jacob's friends, because that family has been through considerably worse ****, but I swear I feel like we've been dealing with one thing after another for about 5ish years now. Some of it is pretty big - 2 major motor vehicle accidents. Some of it is a result of our choices - choosing the wrong ****ty company to work for. Some of it is just a series of every day life events that all seemed to come one right after another - grandparents dying, mom almost dying, kids being tested for special needs, insurance refusing to pay for a needed surgery, truck engine breaking, A/C system going out, etc. But a lot of it feels like a giant snowball that we just could not get away from - coming THISCLOSE to losing our house in 2018. In fact, you could say that we did lose it since we sold it for cash at about $30k less than we could have so the mortgage company couldn't foreclose on us. 

 

Some of this **** was clearly the result of our choices, but not all of our choices had a clear right/wrong to them. Example - back in 2015 my husband interviewed with and was offered positions with 2 reputable companies. The pay and benefits were similar, both locations were only about 2 miles from the house, both required that he purchases and provide his own tools, and both offered paid training to obtain trade licenses. We picked one, and 5 months later **** just hit the fan with them. We should have chosen the other, but there was absolutely no way to know that at the time. 

The snowball that eventually led to us selling the house to avoid foreclosure started with a natural disaster (Hurricane Harvey) and us trying to do the right thing by accepting the "natural disaster relief" offered by the mortgage company. (**** them, btw.) 

 

It's at the point now where an overnight trip to the ER with a toddler barely registers as an event. 



#12
Ms. Spam

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Talk about **** magnets. My Mom aspirated today on fluid in her lungs. And there was huge drama about nothing meanwhile my Mom is suffering. Done with this family once it is over with but gawhduh as Tami says, this year is a **** magnet. 



#13
Brando

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Every time I see this I think that it's F*** Magnets, because they piss Tank off.


Talk about **** magnets. My Mom aspirated today on fluid in her lungs. And there was huge drama about nothing meanwhile my Mom is suffering. Done with this family once it is over with but gawhduh as Tami says, this year is a **** magnet. 

I'm so sorry you're dealing with all of this. It's amazing you're as normal as you are.


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#14
Darth Krawlie

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Every time I see this I think that it's F*** Magnets, because they piss Tank off.


Or are fu ck magnets people you wanna **** so bad your dick points right at them like a magnet?
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#15
Brando

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No, Tank definitely is pissed at magnets.
  • Tank, Darth Krawlie and monkeygirl +1 this

#16
Brando

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****ing magnets how do they work?
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#17
Ms. Spam

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He got issues... I think someone deguassed his tvs.



#18
Darth Ender

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Jim Collins has a few books on this (Good to Great and Great by Choice) where he studied various events, corperations, etc and tried to figure out why given the exact same ****ty luck and ****ty conditions, thing x failed and thing y succeeded.  His basic conclusion is that the thing that succeeded prepared for failure. 

 

One example from his books that always stuck with me (because it is kinda morbid) was the race to be the first expedition to reach the South Pole.  One team used horses and the other team used dogs.  Horses seemed like the better bet...unless **** hit the fan because both people and dogs will eat dead dogs.  That's exactly what happened.  Both expeditions ran into supply issues and one was prepared by bringing dogs.  

 

Yeah, **** luck happens to some people more than others.  But some are prepared (either financially, psychologically, mentally, etc) and some can't get out of their own ****ing way.  

 

Hearing Jacob's story, it seems the family raised their kids the way they want or think the world should be (the guy that took the horses) versus the way the world actually is (the guy that brought the dogs).  Yeah, it is ****ed up to prepare to eat dogs, but the world is ****ed up and you need to be prepare them for this.  



#19
Tank

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You just blew my mind.



#20
Brando

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Because you never knew that your love of eating dogs could be beneficial?

#21
Tank

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I thought I was the only one who hated horse meat.





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