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51 minutes ago, Ms. Spam said:

Hey hey hey! I'm a grumpy old person. LOL 

Based on the other thread, I don’t think you want to say that

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Didn’t really want to make a new topic so I thought I would post this here. After nearly 4 years of hard work, literal blood, sweat and tears, failure and self doubt, finally came the culmination of a

Boom—got Jacob’s old SNES going.  I figured out you have to firmly push the cartridge in to get it to work.   It was Bennett’s 5th birthday.  I have realized how far toys have come.  You can

My kid is 15 today. Which means I am 3000.

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Whew, soccer team coaches were announced and neither of the grumpy mean coaches will be coaching the team Q is trying out for. The really mean old one isn't coaching anyone. About time he retired.

Granted, no clue who the guy is, but that's what tryouts are for, I guess.

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  • 2 weeks later...

You are looking at the back-to-back Durango PK coed soccer champions (apologize for the watermark--we are too cheap to order the digital copies--we just got the hard copy and will scan it--how the hell the digital copy is twice as expensive as hard copies--don't get me started).  My boys are the two next to me. 

As a former mediocre d2 college player and coaching for years (what got me into education) including running a high school mens and womens varsity programs and multiple club teams, I can easily say that this has been the most challenging soccer experience ever.  Whoever put our practice next to a playground can suck it.  One day practice had to be cancelled because of a really cool ant hill I couldn't compete with.  

The secret to my coaching success--relentlessly practicing everyone kicking the ball in the right direction and, most importantly, bribing kids with chocolate covered pretzels for making a good play (relative to their their ability level).  For some kids that was scoring a goal--for others--stop hanging on the goals or not playing rock em sock em robots during the game (this was a thing)--or at least not playing surprise rock em sock em robots with the other team...

 

693790550_teamphotosoccer.thumb.png.26f5ea17b50cc146db6d9e6ab4472123.png

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7 minutes ago, Destiny Skywalker said:

By the way, bribing kids with candy is also how you teach them to ski.

No joke.  I bribe the shit out of kids all day.

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Guess who's school was one of the top in the f'n COUNTRY in literacy growth especially with students on an IEP --158% median growth is pretty much off the charts...

reading.thumb.png.a81b16f5ef03226ec3d4c201fc564e46.png

Oh and we were top in the district in math....115% is only well above average...

 

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That is AMAZING. Truly a great accomplishment and speaks to the culture you have at your school.

Soccer tryouts was not recoverable. She didn't get cut, but she got a B team offer. They will put them in the lower league and we will pay the same as the kids in the top league. So I told them we were going to check out our options in the lower league if she just doesn't belong in the top league. Went to night 1 of tryouts for that last night. Some of those girls are better than the ones trying out for her elite team. So honestly, she's probably not going to make the A team here either, but I will pay 1/3 the cost, she will get spring off to play lacrosse, and it felt like a much better training environment. Win-win if you ask me. I honestly think the competitive environment is unhealthy for her, and it's time to start facing that she is at a disadvantage because of the way they have structured the age brackets (Jan-Dec instead of by grade). She has an October birthday so she is almost always the smallest and youngest player. She does better in environments where she is the oldest (grade, Girl Scouts, and lacrosse are all examples of this). She is going to get cut from A teams in soccer because of this. It will be cool if she plays varsity in high school and that will probably be it for her. And that's fine. She has more to offer than her soccer skills. I'm glad we are opting out. Honestly, it's a relief.

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22 hours ago, Destiny Skywalker said:

That is AMAZING. Truly a great accomplishment and speaks to the culture you have at your school.

Soccer tryouts was not recoverable. She didn't get cut, but she got a B team offer. They will put them in the lower league and we will pay the same as the kids in the top league. So I told them we were going to check out our options in the lower league if she just doesn't belong in the top league. Went to night 1 of tryouts for that last night. Some of those girls are better than the ones trying out for her elite team. So honestly, she's probably not going to make the A team here either, but I will pay 1/3 the cost, she will get spring off to play lacrosse, and it felt like a much better training environment. Win-win if you ask me. I honestly think the competitive environment is unhealthy for her, and it's time to start facing that she is at a disadvantage because of the way they have structured the age brackets (Jan-Dec instead of by grade). She has an October birthday so she is almost always the smallest and youngest player. She does better in environments where she is the oldest (grade, Girl Scouts, and lacrosse are all examples of this). She is going to get cut from A teams in soccer because of this. It will be cool if she plays varsity in high school and that will probably be it for her. And that's fine. She has more to offer than her soccer skills. I'm glad we are opting out. Honestly, it's a relief.

I agree that this might be a win-win situation.  She might be one of the better players on the team so she will get more coaching and more playing time. 

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  • 3 weeks later...

E's placement meeting for next year is tomorrow and his teacher informed me it's the same program and same school as he started last year. FML. This is not going to be a fun meeting.

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47 minutes ago, Destiny Skywalker said:

E's placement meeting for next year is tomorrow and his teacher informed me it's the same program and same school as he started last year. FML. This is not going to be a fun meeting.

 

Are they restructuring the program?  I don't remember you saying E regressed--if not, wouldn't this conflict with LRE?

You could be a total pain in the ass and mention that a placement determination was made before PWN--which is illegal.  Not that would do anything...

I have an IEP PWL meeting at 9.  Mom wants to come to my school but the district isn't giving me the funding to hire the 1:1 the student needs--normally id say lets try and see how it goes but the student is nonverbal and has toiletry issues. 

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The only thing I know is they're hiring another teacher for the program. I've heard they have too many kids but honestly, I suspect they might be doing it because they know I don't want this placement and I don't think the teacher wants him, either. There have been some weird things like Q getting placed on the same lacrosse team as thus teacher's daughter and then suddenly they were gone.

Will it be ok if E is assigned to the other teacher? Maybe? Back in February they talked about hiring an extra shared paraeducator for whatever placement. They're having a hard time dropping the paraeducator because he's just so easily distracted and doesn't stay on task well without one. I'm hoping this is something that improves with age and therapy, but I think its clear that he will need to at least start the year with a paraeducator. 

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Some very interesting discussions this morning. It kind of comes down to the fact that he needs more support than a resource room and it's the behavior program or this program. Truly, it's the right program and has been the right one all along, but the adults blew it. I think the answer may be to just say E needs to be placed with the other teacher. They offered to have us talk with the principal and school psychologist about repairing the relationship, but this comes down to I cannot traumatize E any more than he was. This is the 2nd time this has happened and both times we've had to remove him from the environment. So asking me to put him back in that environment with the same people is asking a lot of me. I am honestly hoping that he has forgotten faces and names because he was only there for a week, but I'm worried he will remember the building.

Looking back, he also did not have writing services because the previous district refused to provide them to anyone under 2nd grade, and his current teacher said this was absolutely his biggest area of struggle and recommended that he have a paraeducator assist for writing (encouragement, keeping on task, scribing as an absolute last resort). She said everything else he probably doesn't need a para for. She did warn them that he needs Day 1 support. Apparently standar procedure is to wait 2 weeks to determine what supports a kid needs. Wtf. That is absolutely not a recipe for success.

I'm so annoyed because I have a friend whose son was in the same program. They need very similar supports and it's like, why did he get such great support and E floundered? I think it may have something to do with the 2 week waiting period. Her son came into the year with an incentive program in place. E had nothing. I'm glad his teacher spoke up because clearly that will not work.

As I said to a friend, I am willing to agree to a cease fire. But they better know I have gasoline and a grenade ready for when someone lights a spark on that bridge.

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  • 4 weeks later...

Found out the teacher I was so worried about is leaving Special Education entirely and going to teach general education. That would've been nice to know months ago.

We had a tour of the school. E remembered it but wasn't upset. The principal is still an uptight B who I can tell is freaked out because of his energy level, but I showed them some very simple interventions (Zones of Regulation, advice about how motion winds him up and weight/pressure is calming). Honestly I'm wondering if they were using all the wrong interventions with him because they are so wired to working with kids on the autism spectrum and often kids with ASD find motion to be very regulating. E is the opposite to your traditional autism profile.

Speaking of autism, we saw the pediatrician yesterday (new one, I used moving as the excuse for needing a new pediatrician that was closer). He asked if we had any concerns and I said we had been told we should rule out autism. He wanted to refer to a center that I know is hardcore about ABA and wants you to commit to a minimum of 8 hours of ABA therapy during the week for all adults. Not a good match. I told him I needed to think about it. But by the end of the appointment, he told me that he didn't think I had anything to worry about and likely the neuropsych was obligated to point out ANY red flags, whether they concerned him or not. It made me feel a little bit better but I also hope I'm not being blown off. Also if E had been talking about Minecraft he might have had a different opinion lol. But E really did a good job and his big concern was getting a shot or having to show his penis. So I guess also on the bright side, no one is going to be able to get away with molesting him.

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  • 4 weeks later...

I'm so frustrated with the soccer coach. It turns out he is a big dumb meathead who thinks it's rugby and not soccer. I was absolutely mortified at their first game because he was mouthing off to the ref and the ref was an old guy who was not having it. And he hates Q. He accuses her of not working hard, and I watch every practice, so I'm not sure where on earth he is coming from. The only thing I can think of is she asks for water breaks. (It's hot and her medication makes her more susceptible to heat stroke.) He is clearly there to maximize playing time for his daughter and her BFFs who are all on the team. The contract we have with the club promises 40% playing time as long as you attend 80% of the practices, which she does. He did not abide by that in the first tournament nor in the 2nd one. I talked to him after the 1st tournament and my husband talked to him today. Honestly I'm about ready to file a complaint with the club and ask to be released with a refund since this guy isn't following the contract and just put her back in rec and let her terrorize that league. I'm so done with youth sports. She's also terrified of the new lacrosse coach. He is a former college player and former military. Honestly he's not mean but he's very particular and very military. Doesn't believe in water breaks ("one sip and back at it"). Is there something about water that men hate? Even the premier soccer coaches gave frequent water breaks.

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I don't understand this. Maybe it's the climate difference but every youth leader I've ever seen or known down here is militant about taking water breaks and actually drinking enough water during them. In scouts we're constantly forcing the scouts to drink water. In Cubs we spent a lot of time and money even "tricking" them into drinking water - e.g. 3+ snowcone breaks at day camp, watermelon eating contests at campouts, etc.

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Well we called the coach out on not giving her 40% playing time, and asked what the problem is. He said he just thinks she is tired. He said he actually thinks she is one of the best players on the team (no shit), but her fitness isn't there. This is where the concussion recovery comes in. It's also just the hottest week of the year and miserable outside, for a bunch of kids who don't have hot weather 10 months out of the year. He also just really wants to put her at center midfield, which is where you often put your strongest player, but they also have to have really good fitness, and I'm not sure any of the girls on the team are fit enough to play that spot the way he is using it (1 box to box midfielder so he can have 2 forwards instead of an attacking and defensive center mid). I think she would actually make a great defender and no one wants to play there, they all want to play forward and score goals. She played there her first year of premier and was really good, she only moved to midfield because at the time her fitness was a lot better and the coach needed to move some new and less fit girls back to defense.

Sorry, this is a big soccer nerd post and the only person I expect to understand is Ender. I'm also learning that soccer dads and coaches are very uncomfortable when a woman (me) can engage in a good discussion on tactics and player positions. They are used to soccer moms who don't have a clue and break out the orange slices and arrange carpools.

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7 hours ago, Destiny Skywalker said:

Well we called the coach out on not giving her 40% playing time, and asked what the problem is. He said he just thinks she is tired. He said he actually thinks she is one of the best players on the team (no shit), but her fitness isn't there. This is where the concussion recovery comes in. It's also just the hottest week of the year and miserable outside, for a bunch of kids who don't have hot weather 10 months out of the year. He also just really wants to put her at center midfield, which is where you often put your strongest player, but they also have to have really good fitness, and I'm not sure any of the girls on the team are fit enough to play that spot the way he is using it (1 box to box midfielder so he can have 2 forwards instead of an attacking and defensive center mid). I think she would actually make a great defender and no one wants to play there, they all want to play forward and score goals. She played there her first year of premier and was really good, she only moved to midfield because at the time her fitness was a lot better and the coach needed to move some new and less fit girls back to defense.

Sorry, this is a big soccer nerd post and the only person I expect to understand is Ender. I'm also learning that soccer dads and coaches are very uncomfortable when a woman (me) can engage in a good discussion on tactics and player positions. They are used to soccer moms who don't have a clue and break out the orange slices and arrange carpools.

A box-to-box mid is tough even at the International level.  It is a relic of the past.

He should run a 4-2-3-1.  That give more of the offensive minded girls more opportunities to score at attacking mid and allow his players like your daughter (good control but lacking fitness) at defensive mid or a high stopper center back to better distribute the ball.  
 

 

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He's running a 3-3-2 because they're still 9v9 until next year. But I agree that would be a better configuration. Old coach ran a 3-1-2-1-1 (or a 3-4-1) for 9v9. I didn't get it at the time but I do now. She played outside midfielder in that model, but the coach rotated them every 10 minutes and that was where she used the majority of her subs to keep them fresh because it was a lot of running up and down the line. I'm glad you get this because I'm starting to feel gaslit by this guy. How is one of your top 3 players not starting and not even getting 40% playing time? Like I knew his excuses were BS as he was saying them but I didn't want to start a big fight.

I think she's actually going to be a great defensive center mid some day. She is great at little turns in tight space and re-distributing. She's not that creative of a playmaker, but she's excellent at disrupting plays. For a kid with ADHD, she's actually extremely patient and rarely jumps in too early and misses completely. If she gets beat, it's because someone outran her or into space away from her with enough speed. I think she would've been a great stopper back in the day but everyone plays a flatback 4 nowadays. If she does move to defense, not sure if she would be better on the outside or middle. We have a supposedly great center mid who was on the team last year, but I don't think she's the hot shit everyone says she is. She tends to jump, which you can't do as the sole center defender, and she dicks with the ball too much in the back because she wants to place it perfectly before she clears it, and ain't nobody got time for that.  However, she might be the only one fit enough to play that box to box mid he's trying to play. I'm annoyed that he's so reluctant to try her at defense, we really only have 2 decent defenders and maybe 1 sub for 3 positions. He's just really stuck on putting her on offense because of her ball control. Maybe she could use that good ball control to send the ball up the line and start a counter, bro.

We do need to work on her endurance. I took her for a mile run at a very slow pace (think like a 13 or 14 minute mile) earlier this week and she took forever to get out of a walk, she just kept trying to walk faster and not break into a run. Then once she did run, she would drop to a power walk every 3 steps or so. Then pick back up to a run. Unsurprisingly, she got a stitch in her side from these shenanigans. Then she didn't even want to walk it off, she felt like she had to stand there until it went away. She just can't seem to regulate her speed and go at a steady pace. Moderate intensity exercise is apparently the cure for long-haul concussions, but she keeps trying to go fast until she trips that switch in her brain that says she can't keep going. But this is why she had no problems with lacrosse in the spring, at her age its not a high intensity sport like soccer is.

If we can build up her fitness this year, I think she will actually move up at least one team level next year. I figured out this club just figures out its A team (which is actually the best select team in the state), then moves other returning girls to B and puts all their new players on C, which is why she ended up on a team where she is one of the only ones who has played premier/select before. They are also moving to 11v11 next year, so they will open up more roster spaces. So I feel pretty good about her moving up to B team next year, but we need to get her fitness up. She will do a lot better in the fall when it's not so hot, so I'm not as worried about building her up yet. She has time to get there and it has to be done slowly to override that safety switch in her brain.

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11 hours ago, Destiny Skywalker said:

He's running a 3-3-2 because they're still 9v9 until next year. But I agree that would be a better configuration. Old coach ran a 3-1-2-1-1 (or a 3-4-1) for 9v9. I didn't get it at the time but I do now. She played outside midfielder in that model, but the coach rotated them every 10 minutes and that was where she used the majority of her subs to keep them fresh because it was a lot of running up and down the line. I'm glad you get this because I'm starting to feel gaslit by this guy. How is one of your top 3 players not starting and not even getting 40% playing time? Like I knew his excuses were BS as he was saying them but I didn't want to start a big fight.

I think she's actually going to be a great defensive center mid some day. She is great at little turns in tight space and re-distributing. She's not that creative of a playmaker, but she's excellent at disrupting plays. For a kid with ADHD, she's actually extremely patient and rarely jumps in too early and misses completely. If she gets beat, it's because someone outran her or into space away from her with enough speed. I think she would've been a great stopper back in the day but everyone plays a flatback 4 nowadays. If she does move to defense, not sure if she would be better on the outside or middle. We have a supposedly great center mid who was on the team last year, but I don't think she's the hot shit everyone says she is. She tends to jump, which you can't do as the sole center defender, and she dicks with the ball too much in the back because she wants to place it perfectly before she clears it, and ain't nobody got time for that.  However, she might be the only one fit enough to play that box to box mid he's trying to play. I'm annoyed that he's so reluctant to try her at defense, we really only have 2 decent defenders and maybe 1 sub for 3 positions. He's just really stuck on putting her on offense because of her ball control. Maybe she could use that good ball control to send the ball up the line and start a counter, bro.

We do need to work on her endurance. I took her for a mile run at a very slow pace (think like a 13 or 14 minute mile) earlier this week and she took forever to get out of a walk, she just kept trying to walk faster and not break into a run. Then once she did run, she would drop to a power walk every 3 steps or so. Then pick back up to a run. Unsurprisingly, she got a stitch in her side from these shenanigans. Then she didn't even want to walk it off, she felt like she had to stand there until it went away. She just can't seem to regulate her speed and go at a steady pace. Moderate intensity exercise is apparently the cure for long-haul concussions, but she keeps trying to go fast until she trips that switch in her brain that says she can't keep going. But this is why she had no problems with lacrosse in the spring, at her age its not a high intensity sport like soccer is.

If we can build up her fitness this year, I think she will actually move up at least one team level next year. I figured out this club just figures out its A team (which is actually the best select team in the state), then moves other returning girls to B and puts all their new players on C, which is why she ended up on a team where she is one of the only ones who has played premier/select before. They are also moving to 11v11 next year, so they will open up more roster spaces. So I feel pretty good about her moving up to B team next year, but we need to get her fitness up. She will do a lot better in the fall when it's not so hot, so I'm not as worried about building her up yet. She has time to get there and it has to be done slowly to override that safety switch in her brain.

A box-to-box midfielder is having issues holding up in a 3-3-2?  I have no idea why?????  Why not a 3-4-1 and rotate forwards and/or run a false 9?  Or a 3-4-1 with attacking wings and holding center mids?  Or run a 3-4-1 with a diamond AM/DM?  Or what I would do--a  3-4-1 with your daughter as a deep lying playmaker mid and that one girl that is supposedly good but plays with the ball too much as an attacking/ ball winning mid.  That way, when she looses the ball she isnt leaving the team more vulnerable and as an attacking mid--the forwards will put peer pressure on her to get the ball out faster--and she won't have to be precise as she can send the forwards with a through ball.   Lots of options to include all the players.  I am going to go out on a limb and say the 3-3-2 is working and the coach is more concerned about winning than developing players. 

Kids all want to score?  SKOCKING I say.  I wanted to play goalie as a kid and I sucked.  No one wanted to play defense so that's where I went.  I really embraced the position and made it to d2.  That never would have happened if I played where I wanted to play. 

Regarding fitness--I feel for her.  Is she flat footed?  Because I am and I realized I would NEVER have closing speed be a box-to-box midfielder.   Incoming bro-science so take it with an extreme grain of salt...I focused on being able to do fast jogs/ slow runs with minimal rest for 90 minutes.  I did a lot of sprints at 75% and walked for 20-30 seconds.  I focused on being good to get into a good tactical position and win the ball there. 

Try sprinting at 75% for half the pitch then walking the other half then sprinting the back touch line and so on.   Slowly work-up---sprint two touchlines then walk or do a slow jog rather than walking or then do it dribbling.  Maybe she is also like I am and just gets bored so rather than sprints skip for some lines or run backwards or side shuffles or carry a friend on her back.  Start with doing 6 full laps around the pitch but everytime you cross the mid line or whatever you have to change speeds, motions. whatever.

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I might try some of that with her. Honestly I think half the problem is her running form sucks and if she fixed that her breathing would improve. I've been trying to get her endurance up using what I've learned about running for the last year. But intervals might get her there, too. Personally I like to build up the base and then start doing intervals to increase speed. Once my hip is better I'm probably going to do more intervals myself. And I just checked her feet and I think you're right, her arch is pretty flat. Shit. But she has an arch when she sits, so apparently that's flexible flat feet. Although your description cracked me up because I was also truly not fast enough to be an ACM, but had the vision and passing skills to do it. I'm fairly fast now for a 40 year old, but really good players have 3-4 speeds, and I have 2 gears lol. Those people that are already fast and then change speed again? I hate playing them lol.

Yeah the 3-3-2 is not working. They beat 2 crappy teams this weekend and won their bracket, which was honestly a shock, and then got destroyed by a legit team in the semis. But he's been getting help from a few B and A team players and he is overutilizing them. He clearly wants to win. He is in for a rude surprise when the season starts and he can't call those girls in. The girl he has put in that center mid position is actually a winger and hates it. She doesn't come back on defense, either. Just put the poor kid where she wants to play. She's not a bad player at all but she looks unhappy out there. Her mom and I talk so I probably have a little more insight lol. But I think you're right that Q and the hot shit girl could cause a lot of trouble for other teams with them playing a diamond midfield. And Q would get her ass back on defense, she HATES being scored on. When she played outside mid she always hung back a little too much because she wanted to get back on defense.

Practice tonight was a hot mess. The assistant coach was trying to get them to throw the ball to each other to practice volleys. I think maybe 2 of them could actually throw the ball effectively. I'm also honestly amazed at how badly these girls listen. Like they hear the instructions, do it badly and then decide they are just going to do whatever they want. Lots of herding required. I gotta get my kid moved up. Q couldn't get a good touch because her partner couldn't throw the ball to her.

I'm going to cut him a bit of slack, though. He does seem to be a little kinder to her since our talk. I think he realized I was pretty close to bailing and that she has options elsewhere. The next (and last) tournament is in 3 weeks so we will see how that goes.

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