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On 11/2/2021 at 12:13 AM, Destiny Skywalker said:

My daughter got her dual diagnosis today for ADHD and generalized anxiety disorder. It turns out she only has mild ADHD but anxiety is making it appear worse. Most of her issues are related to processing speed and executive function. This also makes total sense why her soccer coach is not a good match for her, despite her claims that she is "good with kids with ADHD". I am going to try to convince her to find a new club next spring. This club favors big, aggressive players and she does not belong in that space. She needs to play smarter because of her size, not harder. That might mean not going for a 50/50 ball against a player twice her size, but watching where their first touch goes and beating them to that space instead. I had to learn the same thing when I started playing coed soccer because I am 5'3", I will not win a ball in the air against a 6' tall guy. I think she will be taller than me but she is currently 60 lbs soaking wet. Some of the girls on her team are a head taller and probably have 30 lbs on her.

We are also having a lot of issues with aggressive playground behavior. I've had to report a second major incident where much larger boys have gone after her and injured her. I'm not sure if this is because of COVID (I've read that there has been an increase in behavior problems at schools this year), or age/hormones, but it seems like the boys are very aggressive this year and pretty nasty in general. (She is in 4th grade, if any of you have any insight.) Today a boy shoved her into a pole to beat her to a gaga ball. Her friends have also witnessed each incident and have backed her up on reporting. I have a meeting with the principal tomorrow to discuss how they are going to keep her safe at recess.

My son continues to do pretty well but I'm a little frustrated because I've realized it takes 200+ days to graduate from this program and there are obviously only about 180 days in a school year, and he had a 2-week late start and missed 2 days because of The Coin Incident of 2021. His teacher said something via email about being able to "customize" the program but I'm not sure how much leeway that gives him. His school is 7 miles away and a 20 minute drive. It takes him an hour to get home by bus every day. It is honestly a huge hassle having him so far away, and this school only goes to 2nd grade. So this means a 4th (5th really) school next year, and then possibly transitioning mid-year? Or another school the year after that to bring him back to his home school. There are 5 levels to graduate from and he is on level 2, and he is halfway to level 3. But he is already operating at level 4 in terms of his scoring (but he is admittedly not in gen ed as much as a level 4 kid so that could be padding his numbers). It takes a minimum of 165 days to get through the last 3 levels. I feel like he deserves a little credit for being in a similar program last year but he had zero gen ed opportunities.

The soccer coach prefers big, stronger players...ugh.  Bigger, more aggressive players means winning at the younger ages and losing at the older ages.  You know this, but she will actually be a player in the long run being on a team that prioritizes skills over aggressive play. 

Many students will act like there aren't clear routines in place.  If it happens 1-2 times, sure...stuff happens...it is recess.  But if it is habitual it is a supervision issue.  4th grade is when you start to have quite a few students a bit larger than others that may have lower maturity/ self-control levels.  How did the meeting go?

Ugh...that is a of transitions.  Hopefully he will have some friends that he will know from the program when he transitions. 

Anyhow, my oldest is on a behavior plan at preschool.  He struggles at nap time and bothers other students.  I made him a behavior chart and if he does his job he gets a sticker and 10 stickers equals a Lego Mario booster pack. 

 

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Meeting was actually sort of funny. The principal started off by saying, you know, your daughter is actually really athletic and holds her own out there. She thinks the boys may be pissed they are losing to a girl. I snorted. But she said its still not ok and she would do something about it. But yes, I think it is a supervision issue. We've had trouble twice in gym glass this week from the boy who kicked her while she was on the ground last month. It seems no one informed the gym teacher to keep him away from her, and it also sounds like the gym teacher splits the class into the athletes and the non-athletes and helps out the non-athletes (aka, the girls). So it's basically her and the boys in gym class and the teacher doesn't supervise. I've followed up with her 2 more times this week to say look this is still happening, when is it going to stop?

And soccer blew up tonight, I'm requesting a release from the team. I'm done with letting this lady abuse my kid. I am pretty sure the psychologist would happily write a letter stating that a medical release is appropriate based on general anxiety disorder dx and the fact that we have been talking about this for months at therapy. This coach is not interested in changing her behavior at all. She has no interest in growth, just control. So we are out. The new town we are in has a rival club, we may eventually check them out but right now I think she needs at least a few weeks off and maybe we find her a for-fun indoor team this winter. The weather is crap anyway, I hate playing outdoor games in December and January.

My son's teacher said that after this level he can actually start progressing faster and get "double credit" as long as he hits 90% (and later 95%). So end of the year is still possible. Conferences are next week so we're going to do some pre-IEP discussions to make modifications to the IEP. No one is worried about him academically, he reads at a higher level and does multiplication and multiple digit addition in 2nd grade.

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Came home to find my 2 year old son dancing to Christina Aguilera Genie in A Bottle in his nappy with over the knee tiger socks on. Lol. Love this dude.

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24 minutes ago, Odine said:

Came home to find my 2 year old son dancing to Christina Aguilera Genie in A Bottle in his nappy with over the knee tiger socks on. Lol. Love this dude.

Like father, like son 

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I can't remember the last morning we had getting ready for school when Eli didn't scream and cry and try to burn the house down over going. When we pick him up, he tells us what a great time he had and all the fun stuff he did and learned. We just had a conference with his teacher where she praised him up and down as a bright, fun kid ahead of his peers and a natural leader. Everyone wants to be his friend.

But EVERY SINGLE MORNING it's a screaming fit when we tell him its time to change out of pajamas and into clothes. There's some bullshit reason every time: Lyra was rude to him (usually not true); his pants feel weird; he doesn't like his socks; the cat ran away when he tried to pet her. It always something. Really sets the tone for a wonderful day for Katie and I.

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We’ve taken to making Louis sleep in his gym uniform before the two nights a week that he has gym, just to avoid the struggle of making him get dressed.  
 

Someone called in what seems to be a bomb threat to my kids’ school. Everyone is safe, and it was nothing, but I’m still raging pretty hard about someone threatening my kids.

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My daughter's release was granted in 37 minutes from request to receipt of email apologizing and acceptance of all of my demands, including demanding they buy her uniform back at half price. The town we moved to has a rival club. They have some openings on her age group. We are going to check it out next week. I wouldn't have moved this fast but my daughter really wants to play, and I'm not sure if she feels like she needs to prove herself or what. Our last experience is that this team is not as good but I am ok with that. I really need to scrutinize the coach, though. Honestly I think they will offer her a spot but I am a little leery. There is also the possibility that she will have teammates in our neighborhood, which I am really hoping for.

She is really struggling with her recent ADHD diagnosis. She has taken a big confidence hit and feels like something is wrong with her. I hate this. She is a great kid.

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I'm not sure what I'm looking at and I'm not sure I want to.

Finally a bit of good news. My daughter was selected as student of the month for her class and gets to be honored in their weekly assembly. At least someone is noticing her working hard.

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On 11/14/2021 at 1:17 AM, Destiny Skywalker said:

Ugghhhh. Got the email tonight while at a rare moms night out that they are quarantining 4th grade next week. So much for that nice assembly she was going to get.

Mask mandates work. I swear we should have this year round. We have yet to have the COVID outbreak AND no flu spread either! My niece teaches in Nebraska and they never shut down for in person learning because the school basically was like wear a mask and space out and just be careful and it amazes me they didn't have one single outbreak. But on the flip side not a lot of ppl go to Nebraska and travel out of state or anything. LOL.

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We are wearing masks. Sort of. I've only been on campus a few times this year but it appears that many students think that masks are chin warmers. There is a statewide mask mandate so they're required but I feel like a lot of parents are encouraging their kids to do a bad job at it. There's definitely some indoctrination going on.

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So my daughter has COVID, so that's awesome. And apparently its going to ruin our fucking life. My son is 13 days from his neuropsychological evaluation that we have waited 7 months for, so he better hurry up and get it so he can go. Also, the school let us know that if he doesn't get COVID, he is out for 18 days at a minimum and that's only if he tests negative on day 15 or whatever. So they said best case he can come back December 7th. He was working on leveling up and was on day 3 of 10 consecutive days that he needed to achieve a certain score to level up and get more privileges. So this also jeopardizes his ability to move into gen ed by the end of the year. Fucking awesome, right?

Also I am not allowed to be negative about this because that makes my husband upset.

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I'm just tired of my kids getting screwed left and right. I try so hard to set them up for success and it feels like they just keep getting kicked. My poor daughter is worried she is going to die (and she feels bad enough that I had to give her Tylenol for aches and a fever that's starting to pop up). My son needs these appointments and we had to wait months for it.

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16 minutes ago, Destiny Skywalker said:

I'm just tired of my kids getting screwed left and right. I try so hard to set them up for success and it feels like they just keep getting kicked. My poor daughter is worried she is going to die (and she feels bad enough that I had to give her Tylenol for aches and a fever that's starting to pop up). My son needs these appointments and we had to wait months for it.

That really fucking sucks.  I would be so frustrated…I don’t know how you are holding it all together.  

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Do your kids ever just like... not shut the fuck up ever? They're both playing games on a screen right now. Separately. And neither one of them will stop making noises. Either in reaction to something that's happening in the game, narrating it, or just random ass gibberish. It's like they can't go a full minute without making some sort of noise.

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ADHD, dude. Also makes my husband lose his shit, because he has ADHD and is triggered as hell by the constant noise.

I know this is going to sound nuts, but have you tried giving them a chewy necklace, crunchy snacks, gum, a lollipop, etc? My son's OT helped us figure out that its an oral motor need and he calms the hell down with a chewy necklace or lollipop. We're working on gum. My husband said he chewed gum constantly in high school.

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