Jump to content

Recommended Posts

  • Replies 294
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Posts

Didn’t really want to make a new topic so I thought I would post this here. After nearly 4 years of hard work, literal blood, sweat and tears, failure and self doubt, finally came the culmination of a

Boom—got Jacob’s old SNES going.  I figured out you have to firmly push the cartridge in to get it to work.   It was Bennett’s 5th birthday.  I have realized how far toys have come.  You can

She made it, so I can breathe again. Apparently one girl from their team did get cut. I'm hoping it's the anti-masker dad's kid because she didn't even come to tryouts, but we haven't seen her since D

Posted Images

Didn’t really want to make a new topic so I thought I would post this here. After nearly 4 years of hard work, literal blood, sweat and tears, failure and self doubt, finally came the culmination of a black belt for my son a couple weeks ago. I’m soooo fucking proud of him. I can’t even describe how great it felt seeing his Instructor finally tie that black belt around him after years of taking him to karate 4 days a week and endless tournaments and wiping away all of the blood, tears and snot off him from sparring matches, wins, losses and failed tests. 

123E16CA-7489-4453-A8BE-2E832CB1D13A.jpeg

4DD7EA22-E24A-41B2-8068-9814E51B2BF4.jpeg

FE998338-F629-4060-9454-E391F1881E29.jpeg

Link to post
Share on other sites

Well the other shoe dropped. Turns out they were fighting me, just behind my back. Got a call from the director of Special Education today that they needed to place him elsewhere, was told her phone has been ringing off the hook and they brought in a behaviorist. When I called the principal later to ream her out, she claimed that they had only just called today. Yeah right, so how did a behaviorist come watch him so fast? We know nothing happens fast with this stuff. I think they freaked out after his first bad day, and from what I've been able to tell over the last few days, they can't get out of the power struggle with him. I think this is where too strict of ABA therapy gets you in trouble, and I'm starting to see why autism advocates are beginning to not be in favor of it. They've missed some big signals that he is refusing to comply because he is struggling with something, often sensory (like ystetday it sounds like his mask was wet but the message I got was "he won't wear his mask"). Communication has been poor, and as recently as Friday his teacher promised they weren't giving up on him. It sounds like they are really only able to handle kids with the social communication issues like lack of eye contact and difficulty verbalizing.

Anyway, he is enrolled through the end of the week. I dont think I am sending him in for the next 2 days and leaving him in that environment. I will deal with the unexcused absences. I'm almost tempted to enroll him back in the previous district so that he has his teacher again, at least until February. I should probably give this new teacher a chance but right now I'm having trouble trusting people. He will be in a K-2 class with 3 kids, including him, but he will have a gen ed 2nd grade classroom as well. He will also be on his 4th school in 3 years, and since this is a K-2 school, he will be elsewhere next year, too. Hopefully it is our neighborhood school. The director did say that they've had recent success with getting kids moved to general education, so she said they would actually try to get him back to our neighborhood school for next year.

Link to post
Share on other sites
9 hours ago, Destiny Skywalker said:

Well the other shoe dropped. Turns out they were fighting me, just behind my back. Got a call from the director of Special Education today that they needed to place him elsewhere, was told her phone has been ringing off the hook and they brought in a behaviorist. When I called the principal later to ream her out, she claimed that they had only just called today. Yeah right, so how did a behaviorist come watch him so fast? We know nothing happens fast with this stuff. I think they freaked out after his first bad day, and from what I've been able to tell over the last few days, they can't get out of the power struggle with him. I think this is where too strict of ABA therapy gets you in trouble, and I'm starting to see why autism advocates are beginning to not be in favor of it. They've missed some big signals that he is refusing to comply because he is struggling with something, often sensory (like ystetday it sounds like his mask was wet but the message I got was "he won't wear his mask"). Communication has been poor, and as recently as Friday his teacher promised they weren't giving up on him. It sounds like they are really only able to handle kids with the social communication issues like lack of eye contact and difficulty verbalizing.

Anyway, he is enrolled through the end of the week. I dont think I am sending him in for the next 2 days and leaving him in that environment. I will deal with the unexcused absences. I'm almost tempted to enroll him back in the previous district so that he has his teacher again, at least until February. I should probably give this new teacher a chance but right now I'm having trouble trusting people. He will be in a K-2 class with 3 kids, including him, but he will have a gen ed 2nd grade classroom as well. He will also be on his 4th school in 3 years, and since this is a K-2 school, he will be elsewhere next year, too. Hopefully it is our neighborhood school. The director did say that they've had recent success with getting kids moved to general education, so she said they would actually try to get him back to our neighborhood school for next year.

What kind of program is this and what program do they want him to move him to?  I have never heard of wanting to transfer after one day.  I am wondering if they called his old school and they made a determination based off of that call.  Usually center based programs (ASD/ SED/ SEID) have staff that are behavior trained and do not require district support unless it is extreme.  District behaviorists are generally for students not in a center-based program so it is a possibility he wasn't placed appropriately or the staff are not trained for his behaviors (which again makes me think they had a conversation with his old school). 

But to defend the principal, special service providers can request support from district staff without the principal's knowledge.  I generally trust staff to make that call, I just request I am kept in the loop so I can support--but all principal's are different.  Some principal's are uncomfortable with a center-based program in their school and are totally hands off.   

Link to post
Share on other sites

Got more info. Its been one big game of telephone. I'm not sure if we have 1 bad communicator or several.

The behaviorist was supposedly there to observe another student in his class. I've heard that line before, his preschool pulled the same thing. So they have zero documentation on what the behaviorist observed.

They did call his old school. They have a brand new principal from out of state who said oh yeah that's the behavior program. He has zero context or history of the pilot program for neurodiverse students. His teacher told me that she just got the request tonight to call over to his school, like 3 days too late.

Part of the issue is that the old district only has 3 programs (the preschool/Kindergarten program for any kid needing an IEP, the behavior program, and the one for the severely disabled), and the new district has probably double that. There is also next to no information on either district website. So it's difficult to figure out equivalents. As a matter of fact, the program I requested for him is one of the only ones they name. I think they do a lot of families a disservice by hiding information. I think it is intentional so that families do not seek out expensive services. We have friends who are in this program and they recommended it to me, which is why I requested it. I think the staff decided to make this a battle of the wills and I know from my parent behavior training that is a mistake. They also dragged their feet on setting up an incentive program when I know his peers had one in place.

I am not going to fight the placement. I don't want him going back to the school because they sound fed up with him and that is not a healthy environment. I kept him home today and they excused it. He got to sleep in and get enough rest, so he had a good day. I am hopeful that the behavior teacher will be someone we can trust. He has a lot of trust issues from our preschool disaster so he is very leery of new adults. We meet her tomorrow. He is usually charming and personable when I am around but when I leave, they start asking him to do things that are hard and he freaks out.

The OT place reported that he has been fine for them since school started, and they have started working on his handwriting, but he is doing it even though it is hard. What a difference a safe and trusted environment makes.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 2 weeks later...

Little guy is doing really well at his new school. They do a point system where he can earn 25 points every 30 minutes and he usually earns 20-25. They started sending him to a gen ed class for about 30 minutes a day to start and during a favorite subject (in his case, math). I am hopeful that they will be able to get him transitioned to gen ed full time by the end of the year, which they have agreed is their goal for him. He is at a K-2 school so they would like to get him back to his local neighborhood school for next year. I dont have a lot of communication with the teacher other than the daily tally sheets. Its a little weird to go back to less communication after so much communication during virtual school. I kind of miss it but its "normal".

This kid is such a natural at math and reading, it kills me. He picks up concepts so innately. For some reason the other day I told him something was 3 30-minute periods and he almost instantly figured out that was 90 minutes. While we were sitting in the car for drop off he will look at the clock and tell me at 7:52 that the line would open in 8 minutes. He reads like this, too. Occasionally a word is a little too big for him but he rarely sounds things out, just looks at it and says it. Although I did get a good laugh out of him trying to say Arranciata (San Pellegrino can) and called it Africa instead.

Link to post
Share on other sites

33E3DB39-80CB-49CA-A7FF-2A25928FC339.thumb.jpeg.a51f2d6b0a507920c1e64b67d1576433.jpeg

 

Boom—got Jacob’s old SNES going.  I figured out you have to firmly push the cartridge in to get it to work.

 

It was Bennett’s 5th birthday.  I have realized how far toys have come.  You can build a Mario level out of legos then play it on n your phone…wtf is the wizardry.  

Link to post
Share on other sites
4 minutes ago, Darth Krawlie said:

I told you it worked fine!!

Was it very particular about how the cartridge was put in for you?  I don’t remember the SNES being super picky like the NES was.  

Link to post
Share on other sites

Honestly I don't remember. I hadn't really played it for a few years before I sent it to you. I mean, I tested out every game to make sure it all worked, but I don't remember anything being finicky.

Link to post
Share on other sites

This is pretty minor, as far as things go, but every week we clean rooms on Saturday morning and every week I get stuck helping the girls. Laura and I used to split up and she would help the girls and I would help Louis, but I taught Louis to actually clean on his own, so somehow I got stuck with the girls and it makes me want to die. 

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 2 weeks later...

I'm so done with people who work with children who shouldn't be working with children.

My daughter's soccer coach has been complaining about behavior lately, and honestly, I think she's trying to get rid of us. But the coach also has ADHD and anxiety and does not manage it well (no meds, no therapy, etc). She is impulsive, easily irritated, and snappy with the girls. My daughter adores her, simply because she's a girl and her coach. So I've tried to talk to the coach about how we are trying to get my daughter evaluated for ADHD and anxiety as well, but its like she has no understanding of how her own behavior might be contributing to the situation. She tells us the rest of the team is really annoyed with our daughter. So we talked to my daughter's therapist and she said this is straight up anxiety in action, not even ADHD. My daughter feels ostracized by her team and has become very insecure, so she is trying to make allies, and unfortunately all its doing is annoying the other girls.

This morning we had a game at 10:15, and at 10:10, we realized the home team wasn't showing up. Upon checking the official schedule website, it was scheduled for 11:30. The coach stomped around and then yelled at the girls when they went to the playground after she excused them. I saw at least 2 girls crying, and those girls are pretty tough and resilient. Then the girls lost by 2 goals, and they definitely ran out of steam in the 2nd half, probably because they were warming up for 90 minutes instead of 30. She acted like an immature brat, and she took it out on 10-year old girls instead of the grown ass man who screwed up. I'm not sure how she thinks her behavior is acceptable. Most parents think she is great, but I think I wasn't the only angry parent today. She apparently had stuff to do today, but so did the rest of us.

Unfortunately, I've heard from another mom whose kid joined our team this year that other rival clubs are pretty similar in terms of coaching quality. We moved to an area where another "elite" club might be closer, but a lot of the lower level teams are not. I just want a coach who respects their own players as real people, and in this case, like the kids they are.

Link to post
Share on other sites

I don’t get it. Why would you want to work with kids if you don’t like kids the way they are? With Cub Scouts, I figure I need to have a change every 10 minutes or less, even if it’s a small change. Just because I have 7 and 8 year old boys, and I can either do all the things I want to do with them the way I would do them, or I can actually help them learn, after they spend all day in school sitting and learning. 
 

I feel like my den did a lot more, but I also know that I have the kids I have, and I have to make it fun for them.

Link to post
Share on other sites

It’s super hard to hire teachers right now so basically those who aren’t good at the job stay. I can’t even get subs to take a day off for doctors appointments because any qualified sub is long term teaching a class they could not fill a vacancy for in my district. It’s crazy. 

Link to post
Share on other sites

Forgot to tell you guys my son swallowed a coin on Friday. We are back at the ER because he hasn't pooped since and started vomiting. Got x-rays and the coin is still there. Waiting to hear if its a blockage or if I overdid it on the laxatives today because he's a known poop holder.

Link to post
Share on other sites
On 10/16/2021 at 9:55 PM, Destiny Skywalker said:

I'm so done with people who work with children who shouldn't be working with children.

My daughter's soccer coach has been complaining about behavior lately, and honestly, I think she's trying to get rid of us. But the coach also has ADHD and anxiety and does not manage it well (no meds, no therapy, etc). She is impulsive, easily irritated, and snappy with the girls. My daughter adores her, simply because she's a girl and her coach. So I've tried to talk to the coach about how we are trying to get my daughter evaluated for ADHD and anxiety as well, but its like she has no understanding of how her own behavior might be contributing to the situation. She tells us the rest of the team is really annoyed with our daughter. So we talked to my daughter's therapist and she said this is straight up anxiety in action, not even ADHD. My daughter feels ostracized by her team and has become very insecure, so she is trying to make allies, and unfortunately all its doing is annoying the other girls.

This morning we had a game at 10:15, and at 10:10, we realized the home team wasn't showing up. Upon checking the official schedule website, it was scheduled for 11:30. The coach stomped around and then yelled at the girls when they went to the playground after she excused them. I saw at least 2 girls crying, and those girls are pretty tough and resilient. Then the girls lost by 2 goals, and they definitely ran out of steam in the 2nd half, probably because they were warming up for 90 minutes instead of 30. She acted like an immature brat, and she took it out on 10-year old girls instead of the grown ass man who screwed up. I'm not sure how she thinks her behavior is acceptable. Most parents think she is great, but I think I wasn't the only angry parent today. She apparently had stuff to do today, but so did the rest of us.

Unfortunately, I've heard from another mom whose kid joined our team this year that other rival clubs are pretty similar in terms of coaching quality. We moved to an area where another "elite" club might be closer, but a lot of the lower level teams are not. I just want a coach who respects their own players as real people, and in this case, like the kids they are.

 

23 hours ago, Ms. Spam said:

It’s super hard to hire teachers right now so basically those who aren’t good at the job stay. I can’t even get subs to take a day off for doctors appointments because any qualified sub is long term teaching a class they could not fill a vacancy for in my district. It’s crazy. 

I HATE the YOU WILL RESPECT ME attitude many adults have when working with children.  What was she expecting children do?  This is a problem everywhere.  Leading a group of anyone, especially groups of children, is challenging and takes a lot of training and experience.  It is impossible to get a good sub...it is less impactful to break up classrooms and divide them out into other rooms than it is to have a bad sub. 

This weekend we drove an hour and a half to Telluride.  Talk about a town that is dripping in gold coins but is essentially a ghost town.  It is surreal.  Half the stores are closed most of the year because of a lack of workers because the cost of living is astronomical IF you can find a place.  A 1,000 square feet in a shitty house is easily $1 million on the absolute low end. 

Anywho, they have a free luxury in town gondola for public transport that goes all over the mountain.  IMG_2381.thumb.JPG.7101cf08277be77c885bb2a7fe414a1e.JPGIMG_2374.thumb.JPG.df8ed90e1ae133e0e6c905db0e2d35a9.JPG

 

I forgot how awesome it is to find a cool stick!

IMG_2378(1).thumb.jpg.83ce667d6e5078b7ce05d71182036ba5.jpg

Link to post
Share on other sites

My kids love sticks. There are a ton of parents who freak out about this and don't let their kids play with sticks because someone is going to lose an eye. Look, I let my wild ass kids play with sticks. I've given up that fight. No one has even gotten poked. Just let kids play with sticks.

Also I am pretty sure that letting my daughter sign up for Roblox is the greatest parenting mistake I've ever made. Minecraft is fine. Roblox has tons of inappropriate for age content, crappy parental controls, and everyone is trying to chat and friend request my 10-year old.

Link to post
Share on other sites
14 minutes ago, Destiny Skywalker said:

My kids love sticks. There are a ton of parents who freak out about this and don't let their kids play with sticks because someone is going to lose an eye. Look, I let my wild ass kids play with sticks. I've given up that fight. No one has even gotten poked. Just let kids play with sticks.

Also I am pretty sure that letting my daughter sign up for Roblox is the greatest parenting mistake I've ever made. Minecraft is fine. Roblox has tons of inappropriate for age content, crappy parental controls, and everyone is trying to chat and friend request my 10-year old.

Sticks are awesome. I’ve never known anyone who has lost an eye to a stick, and I totally encourage imaginative play. The only stick rules are not hitting each other and sticks stay outside.

And good to know about Roblox vs Minecraft. We’re hesitant to do much in the way of video games, mainly because Louis could easily get sucked in, but I’m always considering Minecraft. But right now he’s happy with Legos, so why go to digital Legos? It’ll happen soon , though, I’m sure. Plus it’s cheaper than always wanting new Lego sets.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 2 weeks later...

My daughter got her dual diagnosis today for ADHD and generalized anxiety disorder. It turns out she only has mild ADHD but anxiety is making it appear worse. Most of her issues are related to processing speed and executive function. This also makes total sense why her soccer coach is not a good match for her, despite her claims that she is "good with kids with ADHD". I am going to try to convince her to find a new club next spring. This club favors big, aggressive players and she does not belong in that space. She needs to play smarter because of her size, not harder. That might mean not going for a 50/50 ball against a player twice her size, but watching where their first touch goes and beating them to that space instead. I had to learn the same thing when I started playing coed soccer because I am 5'3", I will not win a ball in the air against a 6' tall guy. I think she will be taller than me but she is currently 60 lbs soaking wet. Some of the girls on her team are a head taller and probably have 30 lbs on her.

We are also having a lot of issues with aggressive playground behavior. I've had to report a second major incident where much larger boys have gone after her and injured her. I'm not sure if this is because of COVID (I've read that there has been an increase in behavior problems at schools this year), or age/hormones, but it seems like the boys are very aggressive this year and pretty nasty in general. (She is in 4th grade, if any of you have any insight.) Today a boy shoved her into a pole to beat her to a gaga ball. Her friends have also witnessed each incident and have backed her up on reporting. I have a meeting with the principal tomorrow to discuss how they are going to keep her safe at recess.

My son continues to do pretty well but I'm a little frustrated because I've realized it takes 200+ days to graduate from this program and there are obviously only about 180 days in a school year, and he had a 2-week late start and missed 2 days because of The Coin Incident of 2021. His teacher said something via email about being able to "customize" the program but I'm not sure how much leeway that gives him. His school is 7 miles away and a 20 minute drive. It takes him an hour to get home by bus every day. It is honestly a huge hassle having him so far away, and this school only goes to 2nd grade. So this means a 4th (5th really) school next year, and then possibly transitioning mid-year? Or another school the year after that to bring him back to his home school. There are 5 levels to graduate from and he is on level 2, and he is halfway to level 3. But he is already operating at level 4 in terms of his scoring (but he is admittedly not in gen ed as much as a level 4 kid so that could be padding his numbers). It takes a minimum of 165 days to get through the last 3 levels. I feel like he deserves a little credit for being in a similar program last year but he had zero gen ed opportunities.

Link to post
Share on other sites

×
×
  • Create New...