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Didn’t really want to make a new topic so I thought I would post this here. After nearly 4 years of hard work, literal blood, sweat and tears, failure and self doubt, finally came the culmination of a

Well, pleased with what I've seen so far. I asked if we could start on the first day instead of waiting for 9/21 when we close. They said yeah sure. I mentioned that I wanted to get in touch with the

It's been good news around here lately. 1. My son's OT informed us that he is actually ready to graduate from his first set of goals that worked on transitions and going along with the group plan

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Didn’t really want to make a new topic so I thought I would post this here. After nearly 4 years of hard work, literal blood, sweat and tears, failure and self doubt, finally came the culmination of a black belt for my son a couple weeks ago. I’m soooo fucking proud of him. I can’t even describe how great it felt seeing his Instructor finally tie that black belt around him after years of taking him to karate 4 days a week and endless tournaments and wiping away all of the blood, tears and snot off him from sparring matches, wins, losses and failed tests. 

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Well the other shoe dropped. Turns out they were fighting me, just behind my back. Got a call from the director of Special Education today that they needed to place him elsewhere, was told her phone has been ringing off the hook and they brought in a behaviorist. When I called the principal later to ream her out, she claimed that they had only just called today. Yeah right, so how did a behaviorist come watch him so fast? We know nothing happens fast with this stuff. I think they freaked out after his first bad day, and from what I've been able to tell over the last few days, they can't get out of the power struggle with him. I think this is where too strict of ABA therapy gets you in trouble, and I'm starting to see why autism advocates are beginning to not be in favor of it. They've missed some big signals that he is refusing to comply because he is struggling with something, often sensory (like ystetday it sounds like his mask was wet but the message I got was "he won't wear his mask"). Communication has been poor, and as recently as Friday his teacher promised they weren't giving up on him. It sounds like they are really only able to handle kids with the social communication issues like lack of eye contact and difficulty verbalizing.

Anyway, he is enrolled through the end of the week. I dont think I am sending him in for the next 2 days and leaving him in that environment. I will deal with the unexcused absences. I'm almost tempted to enroll him back in the previous district so that he has his teacher again, at least until February. I should probably give this new teacher a chance but right now I'm having trouble trusting people. He will be in a K-2 class with 3 kids, including him, but he will have a gen ed 2nd grade classroom as well. He will also be on his 4th school in 3 years, and since this is a K-2 school, he will be elsewhere next year, too. Hopefully it is our neighborhood school. The director did say that they've had recent success with getting kids moved to general education, so she said they would actually try to get him back to our neighborhood school for next year.

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9 hours ago, Destiny Skywalker said:

Well the other shoe dropped. Turns out they were fighting me, just behind my back. Got a call from the director of Special Education today that they needed to place him elsewhere, was told her phone has been ringing off the hook and they brought in a behaviorist. When I called the principal later to ream her out, she claimed that they had only just called today. Yeah right, so how did a behaviorist come watch him so fast? We know nothing happens fast with this stuff. I think they freaked out after his first bad day, and from what I've been able to tell over the last few days, they can't get out of the power struggle with him. I think this is where too strict of ABA therapy gets you in trouble, and I'm starting to see why autism advocates are beginning to not be in favor of it. They've missed some big signals that he is refusing to comply because he is struggling with something, often sensory (like ystetday it sounds like his mask was wet but the message I got was "he won't wear his mask"). Communication has been poor, and as recently as Friday his teacher promised they weren't giving up on him. It sounds like they are really only able to handle kids with the social communication issues like lack of eye contact and difficulty verbalizing.

Anyway, he is enrolled through the end of the week. I dont think I am sending him in for the next 2 days and leaving him in that environment. I will deal with the unexcused absences. I'm almost tempted to enroll him back in the previous district so that he has his teacher again, at least until February. I should probably give this new teacher a chance but right now I'm having trouble trusting people. He will be in a K-2 class with 3 kids, including him, but he will have a gen ed 2nd grade classroom as well. He will also be on his 4th school in 3 years, and since this is a K-2 school, he will be elsewhere next year, too. Hopefully it is our neighborhood school. The director did say that they've had recent success with getting kids moved to general education, so she said they would actually try to get him back to our neighborhood school for next year.

What kind of program is this and what program do they want him to move him to?  I have never heard of wanting to transfer after one day.  I am wondering if they called his old school and they made a determination based off of that call.  Usually center based programs (ASD/ SED/ SEID) have staff that are behavior trained and do not require district support unless it is extreme.  District behaviorists are generally for students not in a center-based program so it is a possibility he wasn't placed appropriately or the staff are not trained for his behaviors (which again makes me think they had a conversation with his old school). 

But to defend the principal, special service providers can request support from district staff without the principal's knowledge.  I generally trust staff to make that call, I just request I am kept in the loop so I can support--but all principal's are different.  Some principal's are uncomfortable with a center-based program in their school and are totally hands off.   

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Got more info. Its been one big game of telephone. I'm not sure if we have 1 bad communicator or several.

The behaviorist was supposedly there to observe another student in his class. I've heard that line before, his preschool pulled the same thing. So they have zero documentation on what the behaviorist observed.

They did call his old school. They have a brand new principal from out of state who said oh yeah that's the behavior program. He has zero context or history of the pilot program for neurodiverse students. His teacher told me that she just got the request tonight to call over to his school, like 3 days too late.

Part of the issue is that the old district only has 3 programs (the preschool/Kindergarten program for any kid needing an IEP, the behavior program, and the one for the severely disabled), and the new district has probably double that. There is also next to no information on either district website. So it's difficult to figure out equivalents. As a matter of fact, the program I requested for him is one of the only ones they name. I think they do a lot of families a disservice by hiding information. I think it is intentional so that families do not seek out expensive services. We have friends who are in this program and they recommended it to me, which is why I requested it. I think the staff decided to make this a battle of the wills and I know from my parent behavior training that is a mistake. They also dragged their feet on setting up an incentive program when I know his peers had one in place.

I am not going to fight the placement. I don't want him going back to the school because they sound fed up with him and that is not a healthy environment. I kept him home today and they excused it. He got to sleep in and get enough rest, so he had a good day. I am hopeful that the behavior teacher will be someone we can trust. He has a lot of trust issues from our preschool disaster so he is very leery of new adults. We meet her tomorrow. He is usually charming and personable when I am around but when I leave, they start asking him to do things that are hard and he freaks out.

The OT place reported that he has been fine for them since school started, and they have started working on his handwriting, but he is doing it even though it is hard. What a difference a safe and trusted environment makes.

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