Kid stuff

[Destiny Skywalker]

Jacen how is your recovery going?

It's getting real over here. District fired our SpEd director over racist comments in a meeting. And one of my friends pulled her son from school (same program as E) and filed a discrimination complaint. I think there's going to be some house cleaning coming up.

[Hobbes]

12 hours ago, Destiny Skywalker said:

Jacen how is your recovery going?

It's getting real over here. District fired our SpEd director over racist comments in a meeting. And one of my friends pulled her son from school (same program as E) and filed a discrimination complaint. I think there's going to be some house cleaning coming up.

The school district here got sued and lost big time.  Basically, a student had 1:1 para in his IEP and while a school he broke his own glasses.  This was when we were coming out of COVID and as a rural district, we had HUGE staffing issues--multiple open positions and finding a SPED 1:1 para is hard enough to fill.  There was a teacher present but it was in a small group of three.  Also, it was a Spanish speaking family and they insisted their oldest sibling translate at the IEP meetings--they not only refused a district translator but demanded the translator not to be there.  However, because they didn't sign a legal waiver, it doesn't count.  They sued for not having a translator in the IEP meeting.  They won BOTH cases.

They were represented by an advocate and the advocate is now referring off of their clients to us--which is fine, but more IEP meetings requires more IEP staff to meet those minutes.  We do get $1800/ per each child with an IEP.  However, we do not get that funding until the NEXT school year and that funding not only has to cover costs of an additional teacher but also purchasing resources for the student.  A large district can absorb that cost, but as a small charter, it is a huge challenge especially since we cap classes at 18 for K-1 and 24 at 3-8.  So because we cap our class sizes, we get a lot of students that struggle in large classes but don't necessarily have an IEP--which is fine, but when your whole school are kids that struggle it makes it interesting. 

I don't know why I typed all that. 

[Destiny Skywalker]

I don't think my friend is suing. She's just letting the district know what happened and why she pulled her son and decided to homeschool.

I forgot we had a big victory for E. He has made friends with a girl in 4th grade. Her mom is actually a paraeducator and has subbed for E's para a few times. E's birthday was Saturday, and on Monday, the family actually sent a gift home with him. It was a science kit and just the sweetest gesture. The girls (she is actually a twin) signed a card for him and everything. He really doesn't have friends because he still does a lot of parallel play, so it means a lot that this girl plays with him almost every recess and while waiting for the bus. His OT also reported that he has been trying to facilitate some social opportunities during OT with some of the other patients and E is showing some good social skills (I mean, he's super sociable but he's not being controlling or jabbering about his favorite new thing). I'm really hopeful that he can start making some friends in the next few years, even if it's not a huge group.

Q is quite the social butterfly and had already snapped up all the kids on the cul-de-sac, even the ones younger than E, so unfortunately a lot of the kids just see E as Q's annoying little brother. I'm hoping when she goes to middle school, we can rectify that, and maybe he can become friends with the boy across the street, at least. I actually think they would get along well.

[Jacen123]

22 hours ago, Destiny Skywalker said:

Jacen how is your recovery going?

Thanks for asking.  After getting out of the hospital the second time, things have been good so far.  I was clearly not feeling well still after getting out the first time in retrospect.  Hopefully, I am able to keep from flaring up again so I can get a nice, planned surgery in June.

we are also adjusting to not having my father in law here.  We have hired some part time help to get us over the jump to get used to not having a third set of hands at the house 24 hours per day.  With me feeling better now, we are going to start cutting back on how much the babysitter is here.  We’ve been taking notes on how she does things, though, because she has a lot more experience with a baby this age than we do.  

[Ms. Spam]

On 4/26/2023 at 12:11 PM, Hobbes said:

The school district here got sued and lost big time.  Basically, a student had 1:1 para in his IEP and while a school he broke his own glasses.  This was when we were coming out of COVID and as a rural district, we had HUGE staffing issues--multiple open positions and finding a SPED 1:1 para is hard enough to fill.  There was a teacher present but it was in a small group of three.  Also, it was a Spanish speaking family and they insisted their oldest sibling translate at the IEP meetings--they not only refused a district translator but demanded the translator not to be there.  However, because they didn't sign a legal waiver, it doesn't count.  They sued for not having a translator in the IEP meeting.  They won BOTH cases.

They were represented by an advocate and the advocate is now referring off of their clients to us--which is fine, but more IEP meetings requires more IEP staff to meet those minutes.  We do get $1800/ per each child with an IEP.  However, we do not get that funding until the NEXT school year and that funding not only has to cover costs of an additional teacher but also purchasing resources for the student.  A large district can absorb that cost, but as a small charter, it is a huge challenge especially since we cap classes at 18 for K-1 and 24 at 3-8.  So because we cap our class sizes, we get a lot of students that struggle in large classes but don't necessarily have an IEP--which is fine, but when your whole school are kids that struggle it makes it interesting. 

I don't know why I typed all that. 

Giant hugs. Funding is the suck. I hate politicians in general now. That and lobbiest.

[Destiny Skywalker]

E had his first concert ever, last night. Last year he caught COVID right before and everyone (him, teachers, us) were so disappointed he had to miss it. Music class is often hard for him. I think it's a bit overstimulating but he loves music, too. His SpEd teacher called me to see if he was coming, we worked out a plan to have us sit right in front of him, next to his paraeducator. After school activities have been rough lately. Meds have worn off by then and the afternoon booster dose doesn't seem effective. Tried using an extra patch last night at Cub Scouts, even that didn't seem great. E told us he was nervous, too. Teachers told us he has been doing great at rehearsals. So we try an afternoon dose, and drop him off. Principal stops by our seats to tell us that he has just been a bundle of energy at rehearsals and very enthusiastic and she loves it. Yikes. Now I'm nervous.

He actually did pretty good. He had to go to the bathroom in between songs at one point. Mom and her nerves forgot to stop by the bathroom beforehand. He was indeed enthusiastic, and a little bouncy, but he knew the words and the motions and did what he was supposed to do for a whole 20 minutes with a little wiggling.

I had some awkward moments with teachers and parents. His teacher ran him to the bathroom and I followed. She said she just absolutely loves him and I just kind of looked at her awkwardly. I've just heard that so many times through gritted teeth that I just don't know how to respond because I assume they are lying to me. I don't know why, but it usually feels fake. Maybe I just don't know her very well, I've felt really disconnected from his teachers since they went back in person. Somehow virtual school actually made me feel closer to his teachers. I probably should trust that she actually means it, but ike I said, we've heard people say it and not mean it, even within our own family. Another parent in the pickup line for the classrooms told me oh your son was just the star of the show! Honestly it made me feel terrible and think that people were laughing at him. I get it, he stands out. Even Q stands out in a crowd, and her wiggling is nowhere near the same level.

I mean, we are still proud of him. He did what he was supposed to do, and I love that he's not sulky or a boring little robot. He has a great personality. I just know that others shame him for not conforming, and I'd rather people not call attention to his non-conformance. With Q, I'm a lot more confident that she's going to be an amazing adult. For him, I worry he will struggle.

We have a genetic counseling appointment in a week and a half. I'm pretty sure I am going to get some answers that we won't like. I'm actually more worried about my husband, who has been super stressed and burned out and can't really handle any more bad news.

[Destiny Skywalker]

Soccer tryouts week is the worst week of the year, every single year. Please God let her have an offer tonight so I can have my life and sanity back.

[Destiny Skywalker]

Thank God that's over. Of course we are not playing for the team we expected but it's a good fit and I think a closer drive. And it only took 2 days instead of 5 like last year. 

[Destiny Skywalker]

I'm really debating taking Q to one last lacrosse practice. This season has not gone well, which I kind of expected but hoped for better. The coach played lacrosse for a military academy, so you can guess at what kind of attitude and coaching philosophy he has. He plays favorites and cares too much about winning for a recreational level program. She left the last practice feeling like absolute crap. She has 3 games this weekend and then one more week of practice. She opted out of the holiday weekend tournament because the last tournament we traveled to, the coach treated her like crap.

Soccer starts next week, so we've already decided to blow off practice next week. I told her let's go to Saturday's game because the A team won't be there. She likes the B team coach and girls. She is much more relaxed and plays well with her own team. But Sunday, the A team plays right before them, so they are going to stick around and take playing time from the B team girls like they do every time there is a back to back game. So I'm debating whether we even show up on Sunday. It will largely depend on her mood. But I think we are done with this sport. With her going back to premier (year-round) soccer, I think it will be asking too much of her to play 2 sports in the spring. There is also a local performance choir in the area and she has always really enjoyed that at her old school and she definitely has more of a stage presence than the other kids at her new school. So she is going to audition for that next month, and I think that will be a fun activity for her with not too much commitment (one practice a week after school, 3 concerts a year). She is also continuing with Girl Scouts next year. We also find out next week if she gets into the gifted program. If she does not, I will be asking for her test scores and appealing if she met the benchmarks.

We took E to his genetic testing appointment and they said they don't think we need to worry about Williams Syndrome or NF1 (it looks like he and I are both carriers of NF1 but it can mutate during your lifetime). However, they still want to test him. When he was in the NICU, they did an echocardiogram and apparently noticed a small abnormality but didn't tell us about it. So we are going back for an echocardiogram. Honestly, I think this might explain why he is so thin and near failure to thrive. So right now I'm waiting on insurance authorization for testing.

[Hobbes]

On 5/18/2023 at 10:39 AM, Destiny Skywalker said:

I'm really debating taking Q to one last lacrosse practice. This season has not gone well, which I kind of expected but hoped for better. The coach played lacrosse for a military academy, so you can guess at what kind of attitude and coaching philosophy he has. He plays favorites and cares too much about winning for a recreational level program. She left the last practice feeling like absolute crap. She has 3 games this weekend and then one more week of practice. She opted out of the holiday weekend tournament because the last tournament we traveled to, the coach treated her like crap.

Soccer starts next week, so we've already decided to blow off practice next week. I told her let's go to Saturday's game because the A team won't be there. She likes the B team coach and girls. She is much more relaxed and plays well with her own team. But Sunday, the A team plays right before them, so they are going to stick around and take playing time from the B team girls like they do every time there is a back to back game. So I'm debating whether we even show up on Sunday. It will largely depend on her mood. But I think we are done with this sport. With her going back to premier (year-round) soccer, I think it will be asking too much of her to play 2 sports in the spring. There is also a local performance choir in the area and she has always really enjoyed that at her old school and she definitely has more of a stage presence than the other kids at her new school. So she is going to audition for that next month, and I think that will be a fun activity for her with not too much commitment (one practice a week after school, 3 concerts a year). She is also continuing with Girl Scouts next year. We also find out next week if she gets into the gifted program. If she does not, I will be asking for her test scores and appealing if she met the benchmarks.

We took E to his genetic testing appointment and they said they don't think we need to worry about Williams Syndrome or NF1 (it looks like he and I are both carriers of NF1 but it can mutate during your lifetime). However, they still want to test him. When he was in the NICU, they did an echocardiogram and apparently noticed a small abnormality but didn't tell us about it. So we are going back for an echocardiogram. Honestly, I think this might explain why he is so thin and near failure to thrive. So right now I'm waiting on insurance authorization for testing.

I hope my kids have no interest in team sports for this reason. 

[Destiny Skywalker]

I'm hopeful we found the right soccer environment. We have experience with the coach and I think he genuinely likes Q. We know a few of the girls too and from our previous experience, they are nice kids. But honestly, girls this age are starting to be pretty terrible to each other.

But yeah, not really doing team sports with E. Although he is a ball hog at soccer lol. We were thinking about having him join a running club next year but that's on hold until we get the echocardiogram. I think TOP soccer is perfectly safe, though.

[Cerina]

School update!! 
 

Despite occasionally trying to say otherwise, Noah wound up rather liking his school. And he did so incredibly well academically. They just threw him into algebra without testing his math level. We’d just barely started algebra in homeschool. I think he was maybe 4 weeks in, but he picked up right where they were without missing a beat. Even I’m impressed with that! He finished the school year with all As except science, which was a B, and all As on all his final exams. 
 

Can I just say how validating that is for me as his main homeschool teacher? This is a rigorous classical school where all the core classes are actually honors classes, and he crushed it. I didn’t even know how much anxiety I had about his academic “readiness” until it all started to dissipate. 
 

Noah also has zero social anxiety. I didn’t know that was possible for a 14 year-old. On his very first day of school, he mixed up his class schedule and wound up dressing out for PE only to discover when he walked outside that it was lunch time instead. So there he was, obviously in his PE uniform an hour early in front of the entire class. But he was just like “oh oops”, went back inside for his lunch, and found a table of kids to sit with. The he just went on about his day. When he told me about that after school a part of me was completely mortified for him, but he didn’t think anything of it. I told him that if that had happened to me I would have rather moved to Siberia than go back the next day. He thinks I’m weird. 
 

So anyway, he made several friends in the 2 months he was there. Even went to a birthday pool party the weekend after school ended. 
 

Luke also did amazingly well this year. He started school in January and was behind in reading and writing, which I expected as we’d barely started formal lessons with him. Since he was in the early childhood program in Houston in ‘19-‘20, they immediately set him up with group speech therapy, a paraeducator for one-on-one reading/writing, and a pull out group for social skills. 
 

He, like his brother, totally crushed math. His teacher mentioned to us several times how advanced he thinks mathematically and how quick he picked up new concepts. And by the end of the year, we were told that they recommended that he start 2nd grade without the one-on-one reading support as he has now “caught up” to his peers. Reading and writing skills are so varied at this age that I think he’s still kinda on the lower end of “on level”, so we’re trying to do more reading with him this summer. He’s actually really into a lot of Dr. Suess books and we’ve found him reading them spontaneously on his own several times now. 
 

We’ve also noticed an improvement in his expressive language and story telling. One of his biggest challenges is telling or retelling stories and answering why and how questions. He’s started to voluntarily retell events from his day or from his shows, and he even stops to correct himself when he gets something out of sequence. 
 

My favorite thing though is how all of his teachers and paras and therapists keep going out of their way to tell us how kind he is to them and to his fellow students. I try to cling to that now that it’s summer and he has a meltdown every time we ask him to do anything that’s not watching YouTube videos of people playing Minecraft. 

[Destiny Skywalker]

Nice job, boys! Are they going back to the same schools next year?

E's echocardiogram came back normal. So that's good news.

My kids have 7 (really 6.5) days left of school. This school year can't end soon enough. E has been pretty grumpy after school, and I think it's because his teacher is suddenly out for the rest of the year because she shattered her wrist and elbow in a fall. The sub seems uptight and grumpy (retired teacher). So at this point I am just like whatever and we are finishing out the year. I have a feeling there will be a staff shakeup next year. I will say that the kids in his den at the new Cub Scout pack are not as nice (well, there were only 2 boys left in his old den anyway), but the activities are so much better and the leaders are more organized. I'm honestly not sure he notices. And he doesn't go to school with any of them so not a big deal. When/if he moves to BSA, we will find a troop closer to home, as there is a very active troop in our neighborhood. I think we will stick with Top Soccer and maybe try the running club next year.

Found out Q's jerk lacrosse coaches used to be the boys HS coaches and were dismissed (which is saying something because it's not paid). So, I know it's not just us. But knowing that, I think we are done with the sport. It's clear that they are aiming for girls HS coach, and that means it really isn't worth investing in this sport for the next 7 years when she's guaranteed to have them as coach for 5 of those years.

[Cerina]

Yup. They’re both going back. 
 

Noah still prefers homeschool, so I told him that if he does well next year, learns good study skills, and then gets his drivers license next summer, I’ll pull him back out to homeschool, but he has to do dual credit at the local community college so he’ll graduate with an associates. We’ll see how that goes. 
 

He’s a great kid, but he has little to no ambition. I already know we’re going to have to push and drag him to earn his Eagle. 

[Tank]

Welp, guess I am done parenting.

 

(He didn’t notice there was no diploma in there. It arrives by mail in a couple weeks.)

[Cerina]

He was a baby the last time you and I hung out. A baby. I don't understand this passage of time bullshit. 

[Destiny Skywalker]

Small victories. Successful first day of summer Bible camp (3 half days) for E. When we tried this back in 2019 at another church, they sent him home within 30 minutes. But we've been attending a new church this past year and E has been attending Sunday school semi-regularly. They've been more inviting and inclusive, and didn't sweat the small stuff. They seem to get neurodiverse kids. He wears headphones every single week and comes home telling us what he learned about Jesus. No text messages to come get him. We were nervous but agreed we should try to get him out of the house in an environment we were already comfortable with. He was nervous, too. He only has a few more "camp" opportunities this summer and they're all in what we consider to be safe, practiced environments. But this gives me some hope that he can start doing this more regularly, because it is good for him to practice his social skills.

[Jacen123]

The little guy is both crawling now and constantly pulling himself up onto his feet on anything he can find. There goes being able to put him down in one spot.

[Ms. Spam]

LOL soon it'll be like you have cats and everything up to the ceiling will need to be baby-proofed.

[Jacen123]

I put locks on all the lower cabinets and corner guards on a lot of sharp corners. The sockets are all covered up, too.   I think we have most things pretty well protected for now.

[Destiny Skywalker]

Why does everyone think my daughter is a boy? She got misgendered multiple times by waiters on our vacation. It was super weird.

[Copper]

I have been reminiscing about old times so I decided to see if I still remembered my Nightly password- good news! I do!

 

I have a kid! He's almost 5. His name is Winston. He's amazing. He's also challenging as heck. Like, suddenly in the last two months he has almost no impulse control. We are working hard with him on it, and he's working really hard too. For awhile there he was knocking everything over in the house when he got upset. Now, he's not doing that much. But man, he's been so challenging lately. He super hates brushing teeth right now. I think it might be a sensory thing? He said, "I don't like it because I don't want thistles in my mouth." Same kid, same. 

 

Anyways I wanted to post and i didn't know where to post so hi everyone it's good to see your fake faces!

[RUAJedi2]

Hi! Hey! Hello!

[Destiny Skywalker]

On 8/17/2023 at 9:45 AM, Copper said:

I have a kid! He's almost 5. His name is Winston. He's amazing. He's also challenging as heck. Like, suddenly in the last two months he has almost no impulse control. We are working hard with him on it, and he's working really hard too. For awhile there he was knocking everything over in the house when he got upset. Now, he's not doing that much. But man, he's been so challenging lately. He super hates brushing teeth right now. I think it might be a sensory thing? He said, "I don't like it because I don't want thistles in my mouth." Same kid, same.

Is he starting Kindergarten this year since he's 5?

My kids are really struggling with sensory stuff lately too. Mine crave input so they're always moving and stepping on stuff.

[Hobbes]

 

that’s right—we have a new student named Bilbo Baggins.