Parenting stuff from megathread

[Ms. Spam]

We are probably giving up on the private school the older one goes to because I don't think they will be able to support him enough, much as we love what a wonderful environment it is because it provides her with much needed structure that we weren't getting in the public school environment. We are actually having him evaluated by the school district to qualify for a special education Kindergarten that is designed to transition kids to a regular first grade class. He needs a smaller class environment and help with some of his fine motor and gross motor skills because of his vision. We're starting occupational therapy for sensory processing and we already take him to special vision therapy every week. It is like pulling teeth to get him help and then everyone wants OT to magically fix things immediately. I'm so frustrated.

 

I feel you, Cerina. He's defiant for doctors and teachers but not for us. Even his teacher who we've known for 5 years and baby sits for us tells everyone that he is so different at our home. I really think it's the environment. We live pretty quietly and simply. Since my grandma was a hoarder, I am not big on having a ton of stuff. I've also learned to not put my kids in environments where they will be overwhelmed. I just want them to feel safe. Apparently that is a tall order.

Many times it is the environment. Some have started advocating for home visits for evaluations like this but this presents other issues because kids also behave differently when guests are in the house. I know that this makes it even more stressful. I wish I could offer more in the brief time I have today between classes. Hopefully Ender will be along shortly as he's much better at this typing responses than I am. Just remember that sometimes they are scared too. Because when you go to a clinical area it's scary. It's not comfortable. I get super nervous too. I know it feels like taking a car into be serviced and describing the problem and then when they test drive it the mechanic is all "I heard nothing."

[Cerina]

Luke is not the biggest fan of the doctor's office, but he'll deal if it's not too long. He loves the dentist. These evals have been at the school in a simple office filled mostly with toys.

Since he pulled this same shit last year with the doctor, we wound up with a referral to a neurologist. He liked the neurologists office, and that guy practically laughed us out. "I don't see anything that even remotely indicates an issue...except the delayed speech. He's playful, responsive, looks us all in the eye. He just needs some speech therapy to get that ironed out."

I just feel like they're all looking at me like THAT mom who's all oh not my child, my child doesn't have any issues...

 

That's really not it. I'll totally accept whatever diagnoses we receive. I just want them to be based on reality and not this distorted behavior he has when we go to this place! I'm also counting down the days until I can have him tested for ADHD and we can begin trying out meds. I'm cool with meds. In the meantime, caffeine actually does wonders on him.

 

 

So I decided to go with my husband to his follow-up doctor's appointment this morning because he didn't even mention the ADD stuff at his last appointment. We got to the dr office, and we're like 49 hours early. He had almost everything about the appointment wrong. They aren't even open at 9 am!! Thankfully, they could squeeze us in, after they opened. But then we left with a stack of referrals...and one of those doctors died last week.

Noah's testing for dyslexia is in 2 weeks. He's the easiest of the 3 to deal with, so I'm hoping that goes a lot smoother.

[Tank]

I'm trying to figure out how to allow my kids to get overwhelmed in a safe environment, because it's more and more apparent that they need it. Of course I can't do anything right now, so that doesn't help.

Disneyland!

 

In your condition you could get a wheelchair and had of line pass.

 

Now you just need the $8k the average non southern California family needs to take a vacation to Disneyland. It's so overpriced now.

[Darth Krawlie]

Katie keeps talking about how she wants to take the kids to Disneyland sometime in the next few years. I really really really don't want that expense. I'm also not one of those people who goes apeshit over Disneyland--I don't care much about theme parks and Disneyland has no special appeal to me the way it does for some, so the cost feels even worse to me.

[Tank]

I am fascinated with theme parks, and always had a love for Disney as it was one of the few big-ticket things I was able to do as a kid, so it's always been fun to take my kid to it.

 

Since he's entered into his jaded "it sucks" phase, I let our passes lapse. The cost is borderline criminal.

 

It's more or less $100 per person, per day. If you want to do everything, you need at least 3 days. For your family that's $1200 right there. That's assuming you don't eat for 3 days, sleep on Jen's floor and drive yourself up. Imagine if you have to consider food, hotels, and flight tickets. It's INSANE.

 

My $8k figure came from my cousin who leaves in rural Washington and has 4 kids. They even drove for 2 days to try and save money.

[Cerina]

Disney World. Sure you have to go to Florida, but still. I think the most we've spent there was somewhere around $4000.

Just priced out a 5 days, 4 nights first week of October (best time to go - low crowds, cheaper rooms, cooler temps) for the 4 of us (my big kid cost more now), 4 nights at one of the more expensive value resorts, 5 days at the parks with park hopper and a dining plan = $3955.44.

And generally if you stay off property, bring your own food, and are ok with one park a day, you can cut that price almost in half.

[Guest El Chalupacabra]

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[Darth Krawlie]

Shitton of money to spend to mostly stand in line.

[Tank]

I want to check out the new Star Wars stuff, but it's going to be a nightmare.

[Guest]

Ohio has two pretty great amusement parks. We’ve gotta hit up Kings Island in the next couple years.

[Destiny Skywalker]

We love/hate Disney World. We go almost every year because grandma lives nearby, but my kids are so overstimulated that they freak out. Pretty sure we aren't the only family that happens to. Even Aulani (Hawaii) was overstimulating. This is why I won't let my husband buy a Disney timeshare. I'd rather save the money and go to a Marriott. Just as nice amenities wise, cheaper, and less STUFF.

 

OT tells us Ethan just can't process everything, he is way overstimulated on his classroom. She completely understands where we are coming from and how we have a really good home environment that is difficult to replicate outside of the home with untrained or unwilling people. We had a huge shit show blow up with the daycare on Friday, my husband is so angry still that he can't even handle drop off and pickup. They still just think he's a giant jerk and they keep making the same mistakes. I have my 3rd daycare tour on Friday, hopefully this one works out.

[Destiny Skywalker]

Ohio has two pretty great amusement parks. Weve gotta hit up Kings Island in the next couple years.

I went once as a teenager and loved it, but I'm an amusement park junkie. I enjoy Six Flags and have been to about 4 or 5 of them.

[Odine]

I don't get Disneyland. Never been, never had any desire to go. When I was a kid I used to like carnivals and such, ghost trains and the like.. Was never much into rollercoasters. But I used to LOVE hydroparks. Water slides and diving boards and loads of pools are where its at. Mind you growing up in NZ theme parks are pretty shit, but water parks are not. Lots of natural thermal pools all over the place so good locations for heated swimming.

[Guest El Chalupacabra]

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[monkeygirl]

I've been to Disney World a mess of times, never to Disneyland. I found it fun til I was about 14. Now, I go when my friends' kids who live there are in some sort of event. I used to find it an enchanted, vast expanse but now feel I'm just in a bloated amusement park. They seem to do a better job than most parks, though, in almost all areas but affordability.

 

I was there a couple years ago coming up on the holidays and the visuals with the lights on Cinderella's house was a pretty cool thing. I think it's the crush of humanity that makes it unbearable for me, though. I've been spoiled rotten by working in radio; I've almost never had to pay for or wait in line for any entertainment my whole life but it's made me so intolerant of both now that I don't do much anymore. I've never been comfortable in big crowds to begin with. Add in families with kids of all ages in various stages of meltdown and it's a definite pass most days for me. But one of my friends' Moms works there and they each enjoy being there often.

[Guest El Chalupacabra]

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[Iceheart]

Motion to rename this thread "Eclectic Birth Control."

 

I don't get Disneyland. Never been, never had any desire to go. When I was a kid I used to like carnivals and such, ghost trains and the like.. Was never much into rollercoasters. But I used to LOVE hydroparks. Water slides and diving boards and loads of pools are where its at. Mind you growing up in NZ theme parks are pretty ****, but water parks are not. Lots of natural thermal pools all over the place so good locations for heated swimming.

 

Same, only in Michigan. I was a 4H kid and loved carnival midways. And we had some excellent water parks when I was a kid that I went to multiple times per summer. I went to Michigan's Adventure (it's a Cedar Point satellite park with a water park inside) a few times, and it was fun, but I haven't been back since I was in high school (fibromyalgia plays a huge part in that, tho - can't ride coasters anymore.)

 

A couple of years ago my dad's company bought all the employees and their families a day pass to an indoor waterpark that's owned by a local tribe and adjacent to a casino resort, as well as a night's stay in the resort hotel. I went along because why not? I spent almost all my time in the hotel pool, which also had a sauna, steam room, hot tub, and very few children.

[Ms. Spam]

Going to SIx Flags today.

[Destiny Skywalker]

Fun! We were supposed to go to that one when I was in town last year for my cousin's wedding, but everyone pooped out at the last minute. My aunt moved out of SATX and into the country, though, not sure when I will be out that way again.

[zambingo]

Coming to America from England, where (at least when I was there) theme parks were lackluster, and then settling in Alaska where theme parks are non-existent... Disneyland had a big impact on me. I went once when I was a kid on the way to Alaska and then since have managed to take my family several times.

 

A trip to Disneyland from Alaska costs approx ten thousand dollars, at least for how we go. This includes airfare, park tickets, rental car, food and play money. We never book a trip without each thing budgeted for prior to and we always go with at least a thousand dollars of wiggle room in the overall budget... because shit happens.

 

We are a family of six, and last time we went a family of seven (my oldest son brought his girlfriend and then proposed, she said yes). We paid for my oldest to bring his girlfriend on the last trip because it worked out to be cheaper to bring her and him (theyre adults btw) than to just go with only our little ones.

 

When we go to Disneyland as a family we stay for at least five days, but the trip is seven days in total. The bookend days are purely for travel to and from Alaska. We spend five days at the park, no park hopper tickets. We go to Disneyland proper first, then California Adventure, then back to Disneyland, then back to California Adventure and... obviously... then finish at Disneyland.

 

How in the hell do we afford this?

 

Well, the big red state that Alaska is has an identity disorder. On one hand Alaska is red red red, dumb dems, socialism is evil. Then even those same bunch mix in with the minority of those less red minded in rejoicing in having a Permanent Fund Dividend program. The PFD is a yearly payout to all eligible residents from a fund built off of the States earnings of the sale of its mineral rights.

 

My wife and I have always used the PFD as something outside of our budget, whether monthly or yearly. So when that gets deposited (times each of our kids) every October, we use that for quality of life perks and sometimes (when needed) helping ease any unexpected bills.

 

Other things we do are essentially couponing, deal hunting, etc. We keep our ears to the ground as they say and pounce on deals that pop up as we are already in the planning stages of a trip. Never vice versa. A deal isnt a deal if you cant really afford it, and a vacation that puts you in debt is just robbing Paul to pay Peter.

[Tank]

Tell us how you keep going to Disneyland and never let me know so I can come hang out.

[zambingo]

You were out of the country being awesome that one time or maybe it was two times (in England and then France, I think). These last two times were on me, but not like intentional avoidance though.

 

Although Sara said she thinks I have social anxiety, I said that cant possibly be true I have many online friends.

[Cerina]

a vacation that puts you in debt is just robbing Paul to pay Peter.

We pay cash for all of our vacations. All the money is saved and spent before we go. When we go to Disney, we even buy gift cards to use as food/spending money (mostly because we can buy the gift cards from Sam's Club for a little discount). Hell, I even figure lost wages from not working that week into the savings budget. I cannot seem to explain this concept to my grandparents. Every time we get ready for vacation, they're all "can you really afford this right now?" I'm just like "this has been paid for for months. We've literally been saving and paying for this for the past year or two. Can't you just let us give the kids a little bit of fun?"

[zambingo]

Sara and I have talkbacked to inquiring people about vacations too. Specially last year when she was laid off from the job, career really, she had for twelve years. We were like, look, this is already paid for so we either go or weve basically lost money.

[Cerina]

People are oddly bold when it comes to commenting on people's finances.

We found out that I was pregnant with Luke about 2 weeks after Trevor was laid off, and my family lost its collective shit! "Why would you do this right now?!" "This is not a good time for a baby!" "He's going to need to find a new job!" Well...no shit. I kept telling them that actually we got pregnant BEFORE we was laid off. We just didn't know it until AFTER.