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Children are hilarious


12 replies to this topic

#1
Odine

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So this morning I woke up and could hear a neighbour's kid singing tunelessly at the top of his lungs "Oi loi La loi La Oi loi La loi la" over and over again repeatedly. Made me chuckle. Kid must be about 5 or 6.
Anyway, I ate breakfast, showered, got ready for work, and came downstairs for a glass of water before I stepped outside. Kid still singing the "Oi loi La loi la" tune (and had been the whole time) standing in the drive. Then, suddenly and with out warning, he let's out a war cry (that sounded like a higher pitched cookie monster) "aaaaaarrrggggghhhh!" and starts beating the **** out of a hedge with a stick.
I nearly shot the water I was drinking out my nose and cracked up laughing.

If you saw an adult acting like this you'd send them to the psych ward. Brilliant! Kids are absolutely insane. If this is the kind of entertainment I have to look forward to in a few years I can't wait!

Thought I'd share that moment cause it really made me laugh. What is there to worry about when you can scream and beat up a hedge for no apparent reason?

Edited by Odine, 04 July 2019 - 01:12 AM.

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#2
Odine

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Another time when I lived in London, I was on the northern line (a tube line) on a sweltering hot summers day. The tube is always at least 10 or 15 degrees c higher than the outside too.. Unbearable. So I was in a packed tube, people were like sardines in a can. And this little girl (maybe 4 or 5) was sat opposite her mum trying to get her attention "mum..... Mum..... Mummy.... Mum... Muuuuuuum... " it went on and on. So the exhausted mother looked up and says "yes darling? " clearly exasperated, and the little girl responds with "my bum-bum's itchy".

The whole carriage erupted in laughter, those that could hear it anyway. People were crying with laughter including the mum, and the little girl seemed chuffed to have made everyone laugh.
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#3
Kyrian

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My partner was on the train home the other day, and there were a bunch of around 10 year olds near her who were bartering their fake currency from a kids playground area in Westfield. One of them was refusing to give any away of his collection of entirely 10 notes (there being 5 notes, 10 notes, 20 notes, etc, not that he just had 10 of these notes, he had lots of notes worth 10...whatever the currency was), and the others were getting annoyed with him about it, until eventually near the end of the journey, he exasperatedly threw the currency at the rest of them and said, "Why am I hanging on to these, I'm never going back there anyway"

 

Apparently the train carriage had a similar reaction to the itchy bum girl.


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#4
Ms. Spam

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I was giving a test during high allergy season to my 4th grade students. One student sneezed so hard he caught snot in his hand. He then took the snotty hand and smashed it down on the paper and pulled down. Then he came up and gave me the snot coated paper with buggers all smeared and everything and said "Ms. I'm done."


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#5
Odine

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Lol

#6
Darth Krawlie

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So I'm sitting here at my desk doing some work just now, when Eli tells me he wants a snack. I feel like being generous so I get him a fruit bar, which I know he loves and I don't like giving too often since the have a lot of sugar. I come back and sit down again, and he tells me he already has other snacks, and shows me a plate of fruit and veggies that I couldn't see from where I'm sitting. He smiles and says thanks for the fruit bar. Little bastard is only 3 and already smarter than me.



#7
Brando

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As one older parent told me, adults have divided attention and all kids have to think about is how to to get what they want.
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#8
R.CAllen

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I forget who it was from here who had a kid who'd mispronounce the word 'popsicle' as ****sickle and then once they corrected him (her?) on it the kid would solemnly tell them each time THEY said the word 'popsicle' that it was "a no no word" but I think about that roughly three or four times a month, easy.


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#9
zambingo

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That was me talking about my three year old son Ryan, who now is just days away from being twenty-one years old. It sounded more like the words FU with an L. Kinda soft F, big UCK, U, soft L. So in full speed it was like he was saying, I wanna [fill in the rest]. I did not figure out what he was saying, if I recall correctly, until he dragged a chair from the kitchen table to the fridge, climbed up and opened the top freezer then grabbed a popsicle and said it again. He may have just pointed at them though, considering how memory works.
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#10
zambingo

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So I was talking to my wife about this memory and she reminded me that from that point on we said Ice Pops instead of popsicles.

#11
Brando

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When my son was four, I took him to the bathroom and he gave me a running commentary on what was going on:


I ran out of room in my belly so I had to have big wide poop.

Let me look - my poop didn't turn into helicopters, just big clouds buzzing. Mosquitos!

I love stinky smell of poop. It smells so good!


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#12
Destiny Skywalker

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My husband was cutting my son's hair tonight, he told him to hold still so he didn't cut his ear off.

"That's alright Dad, I'll only have one ear."
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#13
3 & 6 years to go...

3 & 6 years to go...

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:puke:





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