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Getting old


32 replies to this topic

#1
Brando

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I feel like I'm officially old. I have to wear reading glasses. And I have to explain things like regular old phones to my kids.
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#2
Darth Krawlie

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I dread any time I have to get on the floor cuz I don't know if my knees are gonna let me stand up this time or not


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#3
Zerimar Nyliram

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I'm one of the older people in my department, and the oldest on my team, even older than our supervisor. Some girl didn't know who Screech was.


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#4
Kyrian

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At my weekly tabletop gaming group, a friend on another table was explaining where his StarViper model was from and the guy he was explaining it to had no idea what Shadows of the Empire was. It made both of us feel very old.


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#5
Ms. Spam

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HA. I am getting TRIFOCALS. Tami will be along to talk about oldness tooooooooooo. My days of picking up socks that fall on the floor are over. I can't bend over without pain. 



#6
3 & 6 years to go...

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My manager is younger than me.  But, he is a good guy.



#7
Metropolis

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I hate that at work I'm now saying "When I was your age...."

#8
El Chalupacabra

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Wait until you have a manager born about the same time you graduated high school, despite you having 12 years seniority and more education, because they kissed the right asses, and you didn't.  But, you can't leave your job because of...reasons. Then, you will truly feel old.  


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#9
Tank

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I've written and deleted a post for this thread about fifteen times now. I have never been this vexed over a response.
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#10
captainbleh

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I get vexed over it too, and I'm only eight days older than you.

Apart from being freaked out by things from my childhood / 20s being multiples of 5 years old, like the recent 25th anniversary of the end of ST:TNG, it's having a body that isn't invulnerable any more.

Going to see a physiotherapist for the first time in my life next week to develop an exercise / strengthening plan for a shoulder injury that didn't heal fully.

Having to be mindful about how I do kayaking etc. (no more sprinting or surfing for now) instead of never having to worry about injury is really annoying.



#11
Brando

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I have no concerns about growing old. Old and comfortable is way better than being young.

#12
Tank

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About 18 years ago, when I was graduating from grad school, some friends at a party went around jokingly asking when we thought we'd peak. I think Napolean Dynamite had recently come out and we were all thinking of Uncle Rico, who peaked in High school.

We were all in our early to mid 20s, and everyone said something between 28-35.

I said 45.

I had literally just started to leave my awkward phase at 27. I had always been the most responsible and most mature of any circle I had been in. The stuff I wanted out of life was not going to be easy. For who knows how many reasons, I said 45. I always felt like I was meant to be middle aged.

WELL HERE I AM.

I turn 45 at the end of this year and I am actually getting everything I wanted back then. I have the career I want, and it';s leveling up exactly how I want it to. I have money. I'm not in debt. I even have savings. I have a family. I have a kid that no longer needs me for everything. I've only in the last few years learned after an entire life of claiming to be introverted and insecure, that really, I just don't like parties. I have no problem being confident, or speaking up.

One of the staff writers on my show called my a good leader the other day and I was kinda mind blown. (I am technically our room's Riker, so when the Captain beams down I am in charge).

I either have, or am on the cusp of, getting what I have wanted out of life thus far.

That said, my body is 100% betraying me. I still look a good decade younger than I am, and I have all my hair. But, my left eye has floaters, my knees are total bull****, and if I do not eat properly and work out 5 days a week I will balloon up SO fast it is infuriating. After a decade of being told to do it, I am finally having my sinuses operated on and my septum corrected. I am hoping that this changes my life in terms of sleep and exercise. I am a little more fixated on my looks and health than I probably should be... but that's what you get when you live in LA and work with pretty actors all day who live on broccoli and cigarettes.
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#13
El Chalupacabra

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I think I would rather deal with physical age, than emotional age.  I'm 46, and since i lost 120 LBS, I feel physically like I am in my late 20s-early 30s.  I've been told I look like I can pass for mid to late 30s.  But my professional life (I hate my job) and personal life has taken back slides, and I've dealt with a ton of bad luck.   Financially, I scrape by these days.  SOmetimes I feel like my best days are long past me, and all I have to look forward to is things getting progressively worse.   I feel so old emotionally. Worn out. Depressed. And I'd gladly trade any of your guys' ailments just to be happy again.



#14
Darth Krawlie

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****. Im sorry I got on you for being negative in the Lyceum, man.
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#15
Tank

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I should note despite life going the way I want it to, it's a daily struggle to be HAPPY. I struggle with the concept.
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#16
El Chalupacabra

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****. Im sorry I got on you for being negative in the Lyceum, man.

No problem.  I didn't take it badly, but you weren't wrong, too. I have been negative.  Probably too long, and maybe its part of my problem.  But when you keep getting kicked when you are down by life, it's hard to stay positive.  I will try to be more positive, or at least refrain from being negative.  

 

 

I should note despite life going the way I want it to, it's a daily struggle to be HAPPY. I struggle with the concept.

I hear that.  I have times where I am happy for a few hours at a time, sure.  But sustained and prolonged happiness? Almost a totally alien concept to me right now. 



#17
Brando

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Are you able to get help? You have a lot on your plate, which will wear anyone down, but the amount you're down seems like more than you should be trying to handle on your own.

#18
El Chalupacabra

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Are you able to get help? You have a lot on your plate, which will wear anyone down, but the amount you're down seems like more than you should be trying to handle on your own.

I actually have taken steps but never follow through.  I have a list of referrals that have been sitting on my table for 2 months.  



#19
Brando

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That's one of the hardest parts, going from wanting to doing.

We're here to support you, though, and we all want to see you succeed. Make a call on Monday. Just one. See if it works out. A list can be overwhelming, but just one call is something you can do.
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#20
El Chalupacabra

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I will try.  



#21
Destiny Skywalker

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I actually don't FEEL that old. I'm 37 and fitter than I was at 25, faster and stronger. That said, my endurance might be starting to suffer a bit, but that might be stress from everything going on with my kids. My husband is constantly bitching about his back and legs and knees. He really only works out once a week, though, so I tell him it's his fault. The reality is that he's going to be a wreck by the time he's 50. His mom destroyed her kidneys popping ibuprofen like candy, so we will see what we can do for him.

At work, I am actually pretty senior for my age, but I'm starting to get annoyed at all the youngins getting opportunities that I would've killed for, but were hogged by all the Baby Boomers who refused to share work or mentor anyone, and finally are starting to retire. I feel like my "generation" got screwed for sticking it out. I do try to help out and mentor even though I'm a little bitter, because I do genuinely enjoy teaching and helping others.
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#22
Odine

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Likewise, I'm 35 and fitter, stronger and healthier than I was at 25. I train 3 or 4 times a week. Though for the last 2 weeks I haven't been to the gym cause I got sick and we are having our accounts scrutinized by bank people cause we are applying for a mortgage.

The only thing I can't do like I used to is drink. That **** takes practice and training. And I'd rather put my time in at the gym than the pub. 2 or 3 pints of guinness now and I'm pleasantly toasted. Any more and I could pass out.

Was gonna say more but I deleted it. So Ahh yeah

Edited by Odine, 30 June 2019 - 04:51 AM.


#23
El Chalupacabra

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At work, I am actually pretty senior for my age, but I'm starting to get annoyed at all the youngins getting opportunities that I would've killed for, but were hogged by all the Baby Boomers who refused to share work or mentor anyone, and finally are starting to retire. I feel like my "generation" got screwed for sticking it out. I do try to help out and mentor even though I'm a little bitter, because I do genuinely enjoy teaching and helping others.

OMG, THIS a 1,000,000 times!  I didn't get into technology until my mid 20s, and didn't get into the field until 27 when I graduated with an associates tech degree, starting with electronics production at Honeywell, then copier repair and then finally landing in tech support in higher ed by 31.  At that time it was the early 2000s. Many of those positions beyond entry level were boomers and early gen x people (me being a late gen x). Nobody shared info or experience.  No one wanted to mentor.  Everyone was siloed off, and about job security.  I have had to claw and scratch every bit of the way, and the best I have attained is systems support analyst.  Not senior or a manager, just mid level support.  I've attained more advanced skills and responsibilities since starting at my present employer in 2003 for sure, but essentially have been doing the same thing for the last decade.  

 

Now, most of the boomers and early gen xers are retiring, or have gone on to other opportunities.  I have had to stay because a lot of different reasons (mainly job security, and the fact I do have flexibility to take time off if sick family members need me), but many of those vacated positions have been filled by millennials.  In 2015, I had an opportunity to transfer to a different campus, and work wise, 2015 to 2017 was great.  But 2018 that campus closed, and I was forced to move to a different campus (back to where I was prior to 2015), and my department was merged with the one at that campus, which was occupied by a younger IT dept.  Now, all the stereotypes of IT people having no social skills, and being arrogant among each other and cut throat are absolutely true.  Also, being an IT department in higher education, it is highly, highly political.  Also, millennial aged IT people in most cases, have the exact same personality (and in some cases, are the same people!) as the most annoying, stereotypical MMORPG gamers you've ever run in to.   

 

I have never been that way.  I've always tried to avoid politics and kissing ass.  I do my job, and do it well, or at least to the best of my ability.  I am a work horse and get stuff done.  I actually talk to customers (faculty and staff) I help, try to relate to them, and treat them with the utmost respect. I have always tried to share my knowledge with my coworkers, and in return they share theirs hopefully, but that is not always the case.  That doesn't matter to me,because I share my experience and knowledge because I don't want someone to go through what I have had to.  Also,  I have always made an effort to say to coworkers, "let's get a beer or coffee after work." 

 

But since having merged departments, these kids are all competing against each other, and they ALL think they will be the next manager or director.  None of them talk to each other besides work stuff.   It is weird. So when my group merged with theirs, they saw us as a threat.  We were invaders to their turf in a way. So, our group of now 3 people were ostracized.  Even though that group we merged with were never friends among each other, they kind of united in a way, once we became part of their department. So, basically I am in a dead end job at this point, where the manager is much younger than me, and he takes care of his group before my group of 3.  I've tried applying to other departments at another campus closer to where I live, but over there, its the exact same story, with the same type of people. 

 

Electronics and technology support was not my first choice in life.  I wanted originally to be an archaeologist, of all things, when I was in high school. But that didn't seem viable, but didn't know what else to do as a career.  I was kind of a lost soul at that point.  So, I joined the Army after high school, thinking things would come into focus.  When I got out, I had the idea of being a history teacher, and started out that way in college, but in Arizona, teaching sucks.   Growing up, I always liked taking things apart, and fixing them.  I even had put in engines and transmissions in cars when I was a young adult.  So, I settled on electronics, and changed my major.   Being the late 1990s, it seemed a promising career, but 20 years later, I hate the field.  In 2003, I earned my first bachelors that built on the AA in technology (an applied computer science BA degree, basically), and to finish what I started because it was only 30 more credits, a second BA in history.  In 2014, I went back to school, while working my IT job (like my 2 BAs), and earned an MA in museum studies, something related to what I wanted to do in high school: archaeology.  But, I am 5 years away from retiring, so for now, I have to kind of stay where I am at.  When I do retire, I plan on earning a PhD in anthropology with a focus on archaeology, and maybe THEN I can actually do what I wanted to do, in the first place.  Or, at the very least, work in a museum.

 

Mine is a cautionary tale.  Don't settle on a job because you think there is job security.  Go after a job you have a passion for or dreamed of doing!


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#24
Ms. Spam

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That's one of the hardest parts, going from wanting to doing.

We're here to support you, though, and we all want to see you succeed. Make a call on Monday. Just one. See if it works out. A list can be overwhelming, but just one call is something you can do.

We are here for you. I am not a doctor or anything but I don't mind answering PMs and stuff. Sometimes it is not about the getting help but finally having someone who listens to all your grievances and sadness and anger to as a kind of way to unburden the weight we carry. I talk to my cats all the time. I also want to strangle all my cats all the time. HAHAHAHA!



#25
Ms. Spam

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I am having skin cancer removed but I think a lot of stuff for me is just stress. I need to do an actual vacation where I do nothing for about a week but where is that money and time going to come from?

 

My sister recently started a drug habit so we can't give her money as she'll spend it on drugs instead of the stuff she needs it on. So this year for summer vacation I'm going to Tucson for about two weeks with all four cats and driving Tina to get her eyes looked at and new glasses because she doesn't have insurance for that but if we give her cash she'll buy drugs. The rest of the time I'm going to take care of my Grandma so I can keep her desire to die in her own home instead of a assisted living facility because my Aunt won't take care of her and wants to go to Cabo for a month. My knees hurt, by back hurts and it's because of weight I don't know if I can take the long drive. I am nearing 50. This summer will be spent cleaning and schlepping and doing tasks in the furnace that is Tucson. 

 

I love teaching my kids. But paperwork is just crazy now and we have all this stuff to manage. Our lives are so different now. I wonder about happiness constantly. 





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