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The Batman


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1 hour ago, Darth Krawlie said:

Stupid question since it's Batman and I know the answer, but does every single thing in this happen at night? I'm really tired of how many movies and shows are perpetually dark. I swear some nights on Game of Thrones lasted a week. Either way, now that this is on Max I'll probably watch it in the next week or two.

I totally agree.  Even when it does happen a night, there are certain places that if it is not properly lit it takes you out of the movie.  Like, I dunno, a crime scene. 

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1 hour ago, Fozzie said:

Not everything happens at night, but it is visually very dark. Visually, I would compare it to my memory of Se7en. I haven't seen it in years, but I remember it being very dark, even in the daylight hours. Most of the movie is at night, though.

Didn't help that it was overcast and raining during the day in Se7en, too! Brightest part was at the very end, strangely.

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So I watched it this weekend aaaand...really did not like it at all! Definitely took a lot from Se7en and I found it hard to believe no one took his mask off either of the times he was knocked out. They even took him to the police station the first time, are you kidding no one even took a peek?

 And why do they go to the trouble of establishing he has been around for a couple years and criminals are afraid of him but then the random gang at the beginning are like "Who are you?" Really, dude, are you from out of town?

Speaking of that scene, did anyone laugh at the "I am vengeance!" line? It just seemed so corny, I preferred the 1989 "I'm Batman!"

Anyway, the 1989/Returns and Nolan trilogy movies will be what I recommend to anyone interested in Batman.

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Now that it’s on Home Box Office Maximum™ I’ve seen this movie. What’s my verdict? Well, here you go ---

Movie terrible! I got real bored about an hour and sixteen minutes into it and just spent the rest of the movie living in that boredom, really feeling out the edges and contours of the boredom, kept expecting the boredom to let up every once in a while like for instance, say, during a car chase or whatever but ... NOPE! It was just all boredom all the time. They made a Batman movie boring! How!?!?!?!?

  • Entire movie is just Batman going back and forth between the same handful of locations doing the exact same thing he did the last time he was there!?!?!? Watching the movie wasn’t like watching a movie, really, it was more like watching somebody play a Batman video game badly. Buddy, we’ve already been to this level! We’ve gotta move on to the next one! There’s nothing new here for us!
  • The movie is a vague-ish adaptation of Sale and Loeb’s The Long Halloween except instead of having a nerd boner for The Godfather they’ve swapped in Fincher’s Se7en!? To quote the Lonely Island guys, “Not better”. I don’t know. It’s not a good fit for me. It feels like less of a Gotham City movie than Se7en felt like!1!
  • Were drops and what Batman injected into himself to give himself rage strength during the final battle (Venom maybe!?) the same thing!? Why’d they have a repeated Two-Face motif (that guy as part of the subway knockout game gang; the twins at the club) but no Two-Face or Harvey Dent!? Why wasn’t Grant Morrison credited at the end when I’m pretty sure he’s the first guy to set up the whole thing with the Waynes having a tawdry and/or perverted past — the rest of the credits seemed pretty thorough to me!? Why didn’t The Riddler ever say “Riddle me this”!? You gotta play the hits! Why was The Riddler absent from long stretches of this long-ass movie!? Why was Alfred absent from long stretches of this long-ass movie!?
  • Everyone kept saying Jesus! Dialogue in general for this film was pretty rough but that really stood out for me. Watch this movie and take a drink every time somebody says any among the following words : Jesus, drops, rat, vengeance, Martinez, renewal.
  • The movie felt like scenes were missing even though, well, it’s a three hour long movie so it’s got scenes piled upon scenes piled upon scenes. We don’t see Bruce Wayne meet with his accountants!? They spend half the time talking about Sal Maroni (oh wait, add that to the list of Two-Face stuff!) over and over but we never see him!?
  • Things I liked : uh .... Pattinson, I suppose!?!?!? I think there’s something a little bit neat-o in trying to integrate this stuff into a quasi-realistic mode (e.g. Catwoman’s little tufts on her balaclava, Penguin’s waddle in cufffed legs) but I don’t think they want far enough with it. Should’ve had a big dinosaur skeleton in the Batcave! I liked when Batman ate a blueberry and I liked when The Riddler said he had just ordered a slice of pumpkin pie. I liked the absence of flashbacks (okay, yes, there is technically one or two flashbacks maybe : like, for example, in the bit where Alfred gets injured that is I suppose a kind of flashback but you get what I’m going for here, I think), for a movie that’s obsessed with these characters’ pasts it showed a great deal of restraint (although, clearly, not enough — 3! hours!! long!!!) to keep things headed forward at all times no matter what. I liked how they did Batman’s rappelling hook thingmabob gizmo. I liked how Jim Gordon just called Batman “man”.
  • How much time did Michael Giacchino have to do the score!?!? Not enough!? Or was it too much!?!? Whichever way you slice it, well, I did not care for the final result! There’s something in one of the themes that sounds too close to the Imperial March but never quite resolves into anything sufficiently distinct or even pleasingly imitative, y’know, it just seems like someone got halfway towards to doing their memory of the Darth Vader music but gave up in the middle. Bad!

addendum : thought I was maybe being too harsh. maybe I was setting my expectations too high! I gave Matt Reeves’ two Apes a rewatch. Nope! They’re still masterpieces; just the absolute pinnacle of what the modern sci-fi make’em’up blockbuster ‘stravaganza has to offer. Beautiful, moving too, capable of striking every note and tone as needed, the perfect match between form and content (say, for example, the expository dialogue in them stands as a dual necessity of both the mass market medium and the communication needs of uplifted primate non-obligate collaborative foragers!), a richly layered text on the cloven nature of sapience — everything that brings us together drives us apart! So my dull distaste for his Batman isn’t all on me but then again maybe it’s not all on him either. I know he can deliver much much better than we got! Maybe if the studio had let him go all out with it I’d have liked the movie more. Maybe if it had been weirder, if they’d really put their backs into these guys as real nutjobs and not just ooh-Hollywood-scary nutsos. Maybe if it had been more cynical, it’s plenty cynical as it is (it’s literally a superhero movie where the villain wins! The Riddler’s plan basically goes off without a hitch! he’s just mad because Batman won’t be his pal once it’s over!) but there’s still a ray of hope in an unsullied character being given the reins of power at the end (I wonder if Bella Reál was the stool pigeon in other drafts? sure seems like her name might be anagram-y enough to be the solution for one of the riddles!) and, y’know, Alfred survives. Maybe if it had been longer, yeah, I know I complained about the length. But can you imagine if the movie had been 4 hours instead of 3? What if that scene where Pattinson was shirtlessly trying to understand the plot by spraypainting “SINS OF MY FATHER” on his own floor was, like, eleven minutes longer and was also set to increasingly atonal string music?

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  • 3 months later...

I don't buy it. DC literally has HUNDREDS OF HOURS of crappy TV with b-rate superheroics. Arrow, Flash, Legends, Supergirl, Superman-- yet somehow this one can't be seen because it doesn't fit the mandate for Max? They'll dump anything on there. This movie must be a complete shit show. 

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8 hours ago, Darth Krawlie said:

I just realized this what thread this was. Completely forgot The Batman even existed. Still haven't gotten around to it lol

In my humble opinion, it's pretty mediocre. I was expecting a great movie from the rave reviews it was getting but I thought it was pretty generic.

And holy crap, shelving a 70M movie just like that?! This sucks that we may never get to see it. Then again, maybe it's really bad and WB is saving us the wasted time watching it. :P

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  • 1 month later...

I just saw The Batman, and really liked it.  I have no complaints.  Is it Dark Knight good? Eh, it comes pretty close.  I think between him and Bale, Pattinson is the better Batman of the two, though.  Probably the only thing I would have liked better would be a Batmobile that looked a little more Bat-like, but then again I am of the opinion the 1966 Batmobile is king. 

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  • 3 weeks later...

Saw on my day off from school at home. Ehhh it was okay. It was nice to go back to the "Greatest Detective" thing. I am so glad I didn't watch ANY twilight movie because then Pattison isn't ruined for me. LOL I can just see him as well this guy playing Batman. Also it was WAY Emo to me. Even the musical score made me think this is a love story in emo words for Gotham.

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  • 2 months later...

Just saw this finally, thought it was really strong with a few caveats.

I think they nailed the vibe and tone of Gotham. Best cinematic Gotham city ever. Nolans Gotham always felt more like a Metropolis to me. Like a cross between LA and Washington or something. Gotham always had a grim New York kind of vibe to me, GOTHam.  So they nailed it this time finally, well done.

R Pats did pretty good as a young batman finding his feet, trouble is I'm sick of seeing super heroes learning their trade or in their early days.

Zoe Kravitz as Catwoman was perfect casting to me. No complaints, and Colin Farrell's Penguin was fucking sick.

The joker cameo sucked. Like, really really appalling especially when against the likes of Phoenix's or Ledger's or even Nicholson's performance of the character.

Kind of dragged, but not enough for me to get bored. Loved Batman being a detective, loved the depiction of Gotham city, loved the gangster criminal element, loved the batmobile. Buuuuuut I've always thought the riddler was kind of lame too, so not my favourite premise over all. 

Finally the tone of this felt the most batman of all the batman films. I felt like someone took my batman imaginations from teenage years and put it on film (barring my caveats) so that was cool. 

It's not the rollercoaster ride of the Nolan films but I'm fucking sick or rollercoaster rides in cinema. 

I give it a solid 3.5 maybe a 4

 

 

 

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