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Walmart is selling sex toys now


44 replies to this topic

#26
Fozzie

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He's rusty, though. See my above post. Plus he has carpal tunnel from the repeated unzipping.

#27
Iceheart

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As long as the zipper is not rusty, I have faith that he can still perform a flawless execution.


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#28
Kyrian

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Execution...guillotine...zipper...  :nono:



#29
El Chalupacabra

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What I have learned about men in this thread, a meditation:

 

Woman: *makes a terrible and obvious joke about zippered briefs* *in nearly the same breath announces that she bought a new sex toy*

 

Men, plural: *humorlessly explain the woman's joke to her, don't even register that a woman is in their midst and obviously okay with talking about her new sex toy in mixed company*

 

Conclusion: men get their rocks off more by Explaining An Obvious Thing than by women offering up spank bank material by discussing their new sex toys on a public forum.

 

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

 

(P.S. this is also an attempt at humor. Mostly.)

See the thing is, men are visual.  Now, if you want to upload a video of the maiden voyage of your new Orgasmatron 9000.....

 

(PS not my fault if that's a failed attempt at humor. The struggle to be funny is real.)


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#30
Odine

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What I have learned about men in this thread, a meditation:

 

Woman: *makes a terrible and obvious joke about zippered briefs* *in nearly the same breath announces that she bought a new sex toy*

 

Men, plural: *humorlessly explain the woman's joke to her, don't even register that a woman is in their midst and obviously okay with talking about her new sex toy in mixed company*

 

Conclusion: men get their rocks off more by Explaining An Obvious Thing than by women offering up spank bank material by discussing their new sex toys on a public forum.

 

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

 

(P.S. this is also an attempt at humor. Mostly.

lol. Knowing that someone bought a sex toy from a supermarket isn't enough for the spank bank these days. But I'll bite. What did you get? 



#31
Fozzie

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Penis injuries are much more compelling conversation than sex toys these days. We're not horny kids anymore. Being an administrator, I have access to medical records. 70% of the men here need Viagra to even get it up.
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#32
Iceheart

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lol. Knowing that someone bought a sex toy from a supermarket isn't enough for the spank bank these days. But I'll bite. What did you get? 


I already said. You were too focused on zippers to notice. Or to ask me more questions about it.

#33
Fozzie

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Found it:

https://www.walmart....8IaAvR8EALw_wcB
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#34
Iceheart

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I'm a girl who needs a considerable amount of length and girth and questionable chemicals in her life, what can I say.


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#35
Fozzie

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Penis injuries are much more compelling conversation than sex toys these days. We're not horny kids anymore. Being an administrator, I have access to medical records. 70% of the men here need Viagra to even get it up.


Correction: 67%. Tank discovered videos of squirrels on YouTube.
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#36
Tank

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Archive plz

#37
Iceheart

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Harry hasn't even delivered on his unzip yet, and you already want to relegate this thread to the dustbin of history?



#38
Jacen123

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If someone archives it into the proper format, someone, at least, would get to unzip the thread.


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#39
Gamevet

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This doesn't surprise me. Walmart has been screwing over their vendors for years, so I believe someone finally took it to heart and decided to (somewhat) screw Walmart's customers in return. 


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#40
Ms. Spam

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I am considering a couch from Walmart. Because I have four indoor cats whatever furniture I buy has to be disposable. HA! 



#41
Gamevet

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You might want to check out Big Lots.
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#42
Iceheart

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Ditto that. They have relatively nicer furniture for less than Wally World sells it.



#43
monkeygirl

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I'm a girl who needs a considerable amount of length and girth and questionable chemicals in her life, what can I say.

NO SHAME


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#44
3 & 6 years to go...

3 & 6 years to go...

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Wow, Iceheart knows me so well.  :)


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#45
3 & 6 years to go...

3 & 6 years to go...

    Mr. Impatient

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By the way, I have unzipped my pants numerous times since the time that I posted I said that I would.


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